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I 



The Arthur and Elizabeth 
SCHLESINGER LIBRARY 

on the History of Women 
in America 



- / 



THE 

MOTHERS' BOOK 



SUGGESTIONS REGARD- 
ING THE MENTAL AND 
MORAL DEVELOPMENT 
OF CHILDREN :: :: :: 



EDITED BY 

CAROLINE BENEDICT BURRELL 

AND INCLUDING ARTICLES BY 

MRS. ANNIE WINSOR ALLEN, MRS. MARGA- 
RET E. SANGSTER, IDA PRENTICE WHIT- 
COMB, MARION HARLAND, MRS. LOUISE 
E. HOGAN, MRS. ELLEN A. RICHARDSON. 
MRS. THEODORE W. BIRNEY, MRS. FRED- 
ERIC SCHOFF. THEODORE ROOSEVELT. 
EDWARD W. BOK, HAMILTON WRIGHT 
MABIE, RALPH WALDO TRINE, NATHANIEL 
M. DAWSON, AND DR. MARTIN W. BARR 



THE UNIVERSITY SOCIETY INC. 

44-60 EAST 23iu> STREET 
NEW YORK 



^i2 .s- 



Copyright, 1900, by 
THE UNIVERSITY SOCIETY INC. 

Copyright, 1907, by 
ANNIE WINSOR ALLEN 

Part of the material in the division on Child- Training in this volume is taken hy permission froia 
that admirable book for mothers, *^Home, School and Vacation," by Annie Winsor Allen, 
published by the Houehton Mifflin Company, Boston, Mass. From "The Mothers'* 
Magaxine^^ we have been given permission to reprint "Shall Your Boy Fight?*' 
by Margaret E. Sangster, and "Breaking His Will," by Janet Curtiss. Much 
valuable material also has been selected by permission from the Reports oi 
"The National Congress of Mothers" for 1897, 1898, 1899 and 1906. 
Many of the articles by Mrs. Caroline Benedict Burrell are in- 
cluded here by permission of the publishers of them, Messrs. 
Harper and Brothers, New York. 



INTRODUCTION 



THIS book is intended to help the mother to develop 
and train her children in the best and wisest way, 
from their babyhood until they reach adult years. It begins 
with Suggestions in Child-Training, with a Chart showing 
clearly how the normal child passes from one period of life 
to another, and suggests the helps he needs at each stage. 
By studying it a mother may learn to deal intelligently, 
rather than at haphazard, with her growing boy or girl. 

Expanding many of the ideas suggested in this first part, 
the section on Conduct and Character-Building follows, 
taking up in detail the various points of character to be im- 
pressed on a child's mind. How shall one deal with such 
difficulties as fighting and mischief? How are obedience 
and truthfulness to be inculcated ? Shall the study of nature 
be taken up at length, or left to the schools? All these 
and many other important queries are answered with help- 
ful thoughts for the mother. 

Certain stories, especially in relation to the child in the 
home circle, are dealt with at greater length in the section of 
Development and Discipline. The food, dress, room, and 
school of the growing boy and girl are discussed. Books 
and reading, religious training, punishments and rewards, 
and the fitting of a child for life are discussed and many 
practical suggestions are made. Following this comes a 
series of selections, given by permission, from the addresses 
on Children made by distinguished men and women at the 
Mother's Congress, with an inspiring speech of President 
Roosevelt's delivered at one of its sessions. 

In the final section delicate but vital matters pertain- 
ing to the instruction of youth of both sexes during the 

• • • 

lU 



iv INTRODUCTION 

period of adolescence are presented with wisdom and dis- 
crimination, based on wide inquiry and the results of prac- 
tical experience. 

To assist the mother who wishes to illustrate her teach- 
ings with stories, poems, and biographies, references are 
given to those bearing on the themes treated in this book, all 
of them to be readily found in the Library. Children who 
read these for themselves or hear them read aloud will have 
the impression made by the mother deepened on their grow- 
ing minds by the excellent selections. 



CONTENTS 



PAGE 

INTRODUCTION iii 

A CHART OF SUGGESTIONS IN CHILD-TRAIN- 
ING I 

How to Use this Chart Correctly — What May be 
Learned from the Chart — Help the Child to Help 
Himself — Behavior — Reading and Writing — Science 
and Art — Exercise, Games, etc. — Bed Hours, etc. 

SYSTEMATIC CHILD-TRAINING 12 

ist year (Submission; Obedience; Self-Control) — 
2d year (Imitation; Reasonableness; Self- Amuse- 
ment, etc.) — 3d year (Self-Direction; Courage; Kind- 
ness; Politeness; Gentleness) — 4th year (Cheerful- 
ness; Sincerity; Unselfishness) — 5th year (Truthful- 
ness, etc.) — 6th year (Trustworthiness; Indepen- 
dence, etc.) — 7th year (Reserve About Private and 
Personal Matters; Sense of Responsibility, etc.) — 8th 
year (Respect, etc.) — 9th year (Loyalty to Persons; 
Ideals; Refinement) — loth year (Sense of Personal 
Honor; Keeping Promises ; Precision in Execution) — 
nth year (Reverence; Perseverance with Long Plans, 
etc.) — I2th year (Loyalty to Principle, etc.) — 13th 
year (Courtesy; Chivalry; Womanliness) — 14th year 
(Sense of Official Honor, etc.) — 15th year (Demo- 
cratic Spirit; About Playmates, etc.) — i6th year 
(Sense of Relative Values in Moral and Social Dis- 



vi CONTENTS 

tinctions) — 17th year (Loyalty to Ideals; Books and 
Pictures; Education; Recreations) — i8th year (Sense 
of Responsibility toward Humanity, etc.) — 19th year 
(Idea of Self-Culture). 

CONDUCT AND CHARACTER-BUILDING 25 

Ambition — ^Animal Study — Application — ^Appreciation 
of Art — ^Athletics and Health — Attention — Cheerful- 
ness — Chivalry — Civic Responsibility — Cleanliness — 
Contentment — Conversation — Courage — Culture — 
Curiosity — Duty — Emulation — Firmness — Friend- 
ship — Generosity — The Gentleman — Habits — Hero- 
ism — Home Study — Honesty — Honor — Humor 
— Imagination — Imitation — Industry — Investiga- 
tion — Kindness — Loyalty — Manliness — Manners 

— Memory-Training — Mischief — Music in the 
Home — Nature-Study — Obedience — Observation — 
Patience — Patriotism — Perseverance — Play — 
Pluck — ^Tenacity of Purpose — ^Reading — Self-Control 

— Self-Reliance — Society — Story-Telling — Sym- 
pathy — Thinking — Thoroughness — Truthfulness 
—Work. 

DEVELOPMENT AND DISCIPLINE 117 

The Child's Physical Start in Life— The Food of the 
Growing Child— The Child's Dress— The Child's 
Room— The Child's Play and Playmates— The Child's 
Home— The Child's School— The Child's Reading- 
Parental Discipline — Obedience in the Child — ^The 
Child's Truthfulness— Self-Control in the Child- 
Training in Order and Punctuality — Child and Money 
— Child and Handicraft — Music and Art for the Child 
— The Child's Sunday — Child and Nature — ^Train- 
ing the Child for Life — A Homelike Home — ^The 
Girl at Fifteen— Speaking and Its Faults — ^Associa- 
tion of Mother and Sons — Two Sorts of Impertinence 



CONTENTS vii 

— Simplifying Housework — Temper and How to Meet 
It — Submission — Shall the Boy Stay in School? — 
Shall Your Boy Fight? — Naming the Baby — May 
Children be Noisy ? — The Use and Abuse of Holidays 
— Fitting a Child, or Making a Child Fit — ^A 
Children's Hour — Children and Guests — Bullying — 
"Breaking His will"— The Boy and His Den. 

WIFE AND MOTHER 223 

First National Congress of Mothers — President 
Roosevelt's Address — ^Reproduction and Natural Law 
— Dietetics — Character-Building and Education — 
Sympathetic Parenthood — Training our Daughters — 
The Needs of Feeble-minded Children — Humane 
Education in Early Training — How and When Shall 
We Teach Speech to the Deaf? — Alcohol and the 
Child — The Abuse of Drugs — The Importance of 
Bringing Youth in Touch With Great Literature. 

ADOLESCENCE— WHAT SHALL BE TAUGHT... 264 

What Shall be Taught, and Who Shall Teach It?— 
What Parents Should Teach their Children — It Is 
Better to be Too Early than Too Late — Is there Dan- 
ger in Physical Books? — ^The Best Book for Parents 
—Can the Child Understand ?— The Age to Tell the 
Story— The Objection to the Stork Story— The Oft- 
Repeated Question : "How." 



A CHART OF SUGGESTIONS IN 
CHILD-TRAINING 

Prepared by 
MRS. ANNIE WINSOR ALLEN 

THE following Chart is intended as a display and group- 
ing of the Traits desirable in a Child, the Order in which 
their development may be expected in the average child and 
the Age at which Training for each may profitably be begun. It 
considers the child in the four successive periods of Infancy, 
Early Childhood, Later Childhood and Youth, and outlines 
the Path along which Progress may most naturally and effec- 
tively be made in planting and nurturing right Ideas and good 
Habits. It will therefore serve as a Practical Guide — a 

Calendar of Youth 

to Parents, reminding them from year to year of the Seed-times 
of Forethought which shall produce Harvests of Character. 

How TO Use this Chart Correctly 

To use this Chart read it in this fashion, for example: — 
In its third year, along the line of general behavior , an average 
child may be expected to show a capacity for self -direction: help 
this in every way. 

In its tenth year, along the line of science, an average child 
may be expected to show a capacity for imderstanding simple 
hygiene: try to supply it. 

If you have a child whom you wish to develop well, look on 
the Chart for the year which represents the child's age at present. 
Read, in the way shown above, all the items suggested under 

1 



2 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

each heading. Consider whether the child has had a chance to 
acquire the various traits, information, and accomplishments 
suggested. If not, why not? Is it carelessness or thoughtless- 
ness on your part, or do circumstances make it impossible ? If 
he has had the chance has he seized it and made good use of it ? 
If not, why not ? Is he incapable or do his capacities lie in some 
other direction? Finally, consider whether to do something 
more about it now, or wait till later. Do not put it off without 
good reason. 

Now read all the suggestions for the years preceding his 
present age and ask yourself the same questions; and also 
whether he has stopped using or enjoying some good thing which 
he used to have and ought still to possess. 

It is impossible and unwise to try to mention all the good 
traits a child could have, and suggest a time for beginning to 
encourage each. Every good trait must be encouraged aU the 
time, especially by your own good example. 

What May be Learned from the Chart 

All that the lists of this Chart seek to do is to mention the 
order in which the various kinds of good traits may be expected, 
and the earliest time when it is fair to endeavor persistently to 
help a child to cultivate them in himself. Of course, what is 
once begun in such matters must never stop. We ask the begin- 
nings of self-control in a little baby, but the end of the struggle 
will never come. Some children will need help in this to the 
end of their lives. 

Have infinite patience, quietness, and firmness. Remember 
all the time that you are simply helping the child to grow right. 
He cannot grow fast. He cannot grow evenly. Be as patient 
as you would be with a plant, a rose-bush or a young fruit-tree. 
Be watchful, and never let him have his own way when his way 
is wrong; but be delighted to let him have his own way if there 
is no harm in it, now or to come. 

Be the children's companion in such pleasures as you can 
share — treading, games, picnics, etc. Let them talk freely to 
you, even if you do not feel much interested, and try to see what 



CHILD-TRAINING 3 

it is that interests them. Get and keep their confidences as much 
as you can, but do not expect full confidence from every nature; 
some cannot give it. If they believe in your good will and affec- 
tion, and respect your purposes, that is enough. 

Watch for special talents and develop them as much as possi- 
ble, whether they are small, like a talent for catching two balls 
at once, or large, like a talent for singing. Encourage all their 
aspirations. 

Help the Child to Help Himself 

Encourage the children to think for themselves. Test their 
judgment and satisfy their curiosity as far as possible. 

At every age avoid corporal punishment, and as the children 
get older, throw them more and more on their own responsibility 
and judgment. Make leisure to discuss plans with them, and 
show them your reasons for your choice of action. But do not 
discuss when prompt action is necessary. Help them to gain 
the habit of ready obedience. 

Character is built from the inside. At every age watch care- 
fully the natural tendencies of each child and try to help each 
one to make the best use of his own special abilities. Remember 
that the home has the strongest influence; school and church 
can only supplement that. Your own behavior is the strongest 
influence your child has. 

The way to keep out evil is to fill the mind and the time 
with wholesome, interesting thought and occupations. Liet your 
watchword be: Occupy, 

From birth, to about five years old, the children's natural 
interest in learning what is going on about them, and trying to 
do the same things, is enough occupation. From five years old 
to about eleven, they will take readily to the interests and occu- 
pations natural to their age, if these are offered them freely and 
in a spu"it of good will. From eleven years old on, they will be 
more and more keen to choose their own occupations. Let them, 
merely keeping the right to forbid the objectionable ones, if 
there are any, and making sure that they bring their friends 
and pleasures home often enough for you to know about them. 



THE MOTHERS' BOOK 



Behavior 

Li the matter of behavior you will notice that very few virtues 
are mentioned, and you will probably wonder why so many 
necessary ones are left out. But upon further consideration 
you will see that many terms are simply different words for 
the same virtue, or words for some part of a larger virtue. For 
instance, Gentleness, Politeness, Patience, Generosity, Sym- 
pathy, Helpfulness, Etiquette, Thoughtfulness, etc., are all 
words for different parts of the big virtue. Kindness. The same 
may be said of different aspects of Self-control, Trustworthiness , 
etc. 

Reading, Writing, Etc. 

Use this column as a list of suggestions. No one child will 
do all the things here suggested. Some children have no taste 
at all for reading, others have no taste for fairy tales, etc. Do 
not try to force their taste, but give them a chance to like all 
kinds of things. 

What they do read should be good of its kind. The various 
public libraries publish many lists. Encourage them to read the 
same good book several times. Do not let them "gobble" 
books. A book or two a week is plenty at any age. Good 
books bring the children in touch with great minds. They shape 
their ideals and stir their powers. 

Science, Etc. 

Use this column as a list of suggestions. No one child will 
do all that is here suggested, but from it you can get ideas of 
how to occupy them all, and what sort of interest to expect at 
each age. Some science every child should know. 

Art, Etc. 

Use this colmnn as a list of suggestions. No one child will 
do all that is here suggested, but it will give you ideas how to 



CHILD-TRAINING 5 

occupy them all, and what sort of skill to expect at each age. 
Some art every child should gain. 

Exercise, Games, Etx:. 

Use this column as a list of suggestions. No one child will 
do all that is here suggested, but from it you can get ideas of 
how to occupy them all, and what sort of interest to expect at 
each age. Plenty of exercise and fresh air and games and duties 
every child must have. At the age of five, a child should begin 
to have daily duties about the home; and from that time until 
they leave home there should always be duties for each one. 

Bed Hour, Etc. 

Use this column as a list of suggestions, but keep to it pretty 
closely. Many children need more rest than is here indicated. 
A great deal of naughtiness and disobedience is caused by 
children being overtired. A highly strung child, at any age, 
needs plen^ of rest and solitude. 



In addition to those upon the subjects starred in the Chart, 
essays will be found in this Mothers' Book on many other 
topics related to character-building, which for one or another 
reason are not included in the column under that head. Among 
them are these: 

Ambition, Heroism, Play, 

Application, Home Study, Reading, 
Athletics, Imagination, Religion, 

Attention, Manners, Self-Reliance, 

Conversation, Memory, Sympathy. 

CiTRiosiTY, Observation, Work, Etc. 



BEHAVIOR, AND 
CHARACTER BUILDING 

AQE 

^Submission 

♦Obedience 

♦Self-control 



1 



A CHART OF SUGGESTIONS 

INFANCY 

{From birth to aJwut three years old) 

READINQ AND WRITINQ, ETC. SCIENCE, ETC. 



Qualities of matter 
Idea of direction 
Idea of distance 

,1 

Idea of quantity 
Idea of causes 
Idea of number 
Perception of rhythm 



♦Imitation 

♦ Reasonableness 

♦Self-amusement 



Talking 



♦Self-direction 
♦Courage 
♦Generosity 
♦Gentleness 



" Mother Goose," etc. 
Picture books 



Idea of reasons 

Idea of relation 
Distinction between 
past,present,& future 



EARLY CHILDHOOD 
(From about three to about six years 



old) 

.3 

Distinction between 

fact and fancy 
Counting ten 

Distinction between 

right and left 
Idea of growth 



♦Cheerfulness 
♦Kindness 
♦Politeness 
♦Patience 



Listening to verses and very 

short stories 
Using alphabet blocks 
Reciting verses 

Knowing the days of the week 



♦Truthfulness 

♦Unselfishness 
♦Tidiness 



Listening to myths, fairy tales, 

etc., read aloud 
Reading 
Acting "Mother Goose," etc. 

Knowing names of the months 

Printing with pencil 
.6 



Counting things 

Names of conmion 
birds and flowers 

Adding and subtracting 
orally 

Making the Arabic nu- 
merals 

Idea of death 

.5 



♦Trustworthiness 



♦Independence 



Memorizing 



Idea of birth 

Understanding simple 
maps and plans 

Combining numbers 
up to 10 

Learning names of com- 
mon trees and in- 
sects, sea-things, etc. 

Sense of proportion 

♦Articles on these subjects will be found in The Mothers' Book. 

6 



Writing 



)fS 



re 



IN CHILD- TRAINING 

INFANCY 
(From birth to about three years old) 

ART, arc. BXERCISE, QAMES, BTC. BED HOUR, ETC. 



kom 



Perception of light Using the muscles 
Distinction between Establishing hygienic habits 

sounds Creeping 
Using gentle voice Throwing ball 
1 1 1 



From 22 hours to 
16 hours of 
sleep a day 



LuUabys 



Using pencil 
Strinmng beads 

without plan 
Distinguishing 

tastes and colors 
Sewing cards 
Undressing 



Walking 

Using blocks, rings, toys 

with wheels, etc, 
Using spoon and mug 
Imitative movements 

.2 

"Finger plays" 

"Mother plays" 

Animal toys 



Sleep from 
6 p.m. to 6 a.m. 

Rest from 

four to two hours 

.2 

Sleep from 

6 p.m. to 6 a.m. 

Rest from 
four to two hours 



EARLY CHILDHOOD 
(From ahoiU three to about six years old) 



Reproducing singing 
tones 

Partly dressing 

Cutting 

Picking up toys 

Looking at good pic- 
tures 

Distinguish'g smells 

4 

Singing scale 

Coloring pictures 

Sewing cloth and 
buttons 

More difficult kinder- 
garten work 

Singing songs 

Use of simple tools 

5 

Dressing entirely 

Clay work 

Weaving 

Pasting 

Listening to good 
music 



"Button, button," "Barberry- 
bush," etc. 
Sandpile play 
Helpmg older people 
Running; ball play 
Taking walks 
Hobby horse 
Alphabet blocks 

.4 

Helping with dishes 
"London Bridge," etc. 
Mud pies 

Swinging 

Tricycle 

Making presents for friends. 

.5 

Dusting, brushing up 
"Going to Jerusalem," etc. 

Driving hoop, climbing trees, 

ladders, etc. 
Marching 



Sleep from 
6 p.m. to 7 a.m. 



Rest from 
three to one hours 



Sleep from 
6 p.m. to 7 a.m. 



Rest from 
three to one hours 



Sleep from 
6 p.m. to 7 ajn. 



Rest as needed 



Family singing 



A CHART OF SUGGESTIONS 



LATER CHILDHOOD 
{From about six to about twelve years 



old) 



BEHAVIOR, AND 
CHARACTER BUILDING 



READING AND WRITING, ETC. 



SdBNCE, ETC. 



AGE 
6 





Silent reading of poetry, good 


•^••••••••. •••••••••• 

Combining numbers 


Reserve about 


stories, science-readers, etc. 


to 100 


private and 




Understanding world- 


personal matters 


Writing letters 


maps and the globe 


♦Sense of responsi- 


Spelling 




bility 


Typewriting 


Telling time 


♦Punctuality 


..7 


Simple botany 
.7 



8, 



♦Respect 



French language 

Reading, both silent and loud, 
and listening to reading of 
any suitable books, espe- 
cially books bearing upon 
school studies 

.8 



Outline maps 

Leaf collecting 
Formal arithmetic 
Simple hygiene ' 
Understanding birth 

.8 



♦Loyalty to 
persons 

♦Refinement 



Making raised maps 
Flower collecting 

Simple physiology 



9 



.9 



.9 



♦Sense of personal 
honor 

♦Precision in 
execution 



10. 



♦Reverence 
♦Perseverance with 
long plans 

♦Respect for Law 
♦Patriotism 



11 



♦Loyalty to principle, 
i.e., moral ideals 



American history 



.10 

Helping with a home-written 

magazine 
Ancient history 

Consultation of books 
of reference 



.11 

Keeping a journal 

Reading historical romances, 

etc. 
Greek history 



Simple zoology 
Cabmet of local 
natural history 

.10 

Butterfly collecting 
Stamp collecting 
Inventional geometry 

Reading of stories of 
the wonders of sci- 
ence and invention 

.11 

Simple facts of 
physics and 
chemistry 



8 



IN CHILD-TRAINING 

LATER CHILDHOOD 
{From dbofui six to ahouJt twelve years M) 



ART, ETC. 

AOB 

6 


XXXBCIBE, QAMXB, BTC. 

.6 


BSD HOX7B, VrC. 

..6 


Singing by note orally 
Playing piano 
Using hammer, nails 
Knitting 
Tracing, etc. 
Some constructive 
work every day 

7 


Doing some " chore " regularly 
Dancing, "French Tag," 

"Hunt the slipper," etc. 
Roller skating. Jumping rope 
Swimming 
Rowing 

.7 


Sleep from 

6.30 p.m. to 7 a.m. 

..7 


Sight singing 

Hemming 

Crocheting 

8 


Calisthenics, " Blind man's 

Buff," etc. 
Battledore, Tops 
Bicycling, Ice skating 
Dimng 
Picking berries 

.8 


Sleep from 

7 p.m. to 7 a.m. 

* 
..8 


Lessons on a special 
instrmnent 

Simple cooking 

♦Drawing 

Whittling 

9 


Sweeping 

Card games, " Dumb Crambo," 

Marbles 

Driving 

Weeding 

Harnessing 

.9 


etc. 
Sleep from 

7 p.m. to 7 a.m. 

..9 


Afternoon concerts 

Darning 

Care of doll's 

clothes 
Color work 
Carpentry 

10 


Washing dishes 

Ironing 

Anim£d game, "Coddam," etc. 

Sailing, Fishing 

"Scrub," etc. 

Care of small animals 

.10 

Housework 

"Authors," "Stage Coach," 

etc. 
Riding, Archery 
Milking, Currying, etc. 
Kicking football 

.11 


Sleep from 
7.30 p.m. to 7 a.m. 

..10 


Basketry 
Printing press 

Cane seating 

11 


Sleep from 
7.30 p.m. to 7 a.m. 

..11 


Part singing 
Tmning lathe 
Embroidery 


Washing clothes 
"Logomachi." "Spellington" 
HocKey, Baseball 
Cutting grass, Pruning 
Purposeful outings 


Sleep from 
8 p.m. to 7 a.m. 



9 



A CHART OF SUGGESTIONS 

EARLY YOUTH 
(From about twelve to about eighteen years old) 



BEHAVIOR, AND 
CHARACTER BUILDING 



READING AND WRITING, ETC. 



SCIENCE, ETC. 



AGE 
12.. 



.12 

Acting small plays at home 



.12 

Keeping accounts 



♦Chivalry 

♦Womanliness 
♦Manliness 



Reading foreign language alone Understanding sex 



Writing whatever original 

composition is natural 
Grammar 



Simple algebra 



13 



♦Sense of official 

honor 
♦Social awakening 



14 



♦Democratic spirit 



15 



.13 

Novels of the simpler 

realistic sort 
Simpler poets 
Latin 

Roman history 
Biography (selected) 

.14 

Simpler great masterpieces 

Famous passages in English 
and in foreign languages 

General history 

(All reading should be selected 
from lists of the best books) 

.15 



.13 

Keeping records 
of weather, etc. 

Simple phvsical 
geography 



.14 

Serious hygiene and 

physiology 
Ideas of various and 

sequent causes for 

one result, and vice 

versa 
Geometry 

.15 



♦Sense of relative 
values in moral 
and social distinc- 
tions 



German language 
Simple essayists 
Afternoon theater — comedies 
and romantic plays 



Names and natures 
of chief stars and 
constellations 

Simple geology 



16 



♦Loyalty to ideals 



.16 

Biographies 
Lectures 
Evening theater 
Rhetoric 

(Alljbooks to be from a list approved 
by eminent authorities) 



16 

Solid geometry 



It. 



♦Sense of responsi- 
bility toward 
humanity 

Planning ifie work 



.17 

Serious English novels 
of the first three-quarters 
of the 19th century- 
Serious poets and essayists 
Civil government 



.17 

Following special or 

general scientific 

interests 
Trigonometry 



18, 



♦Idea of self-culture 



.18 

Tragedies 

Problem novels of real moral 

and literary worth 
English literature 

to 



.18 

Biology 
Domestic science 



■ ■ • • • 



IN CHILD- TRAINING 

EARLY YOUTH 
{From about twelve to aboul eighteen years old) 



ART, «TC. 
AGB 
12 

Sketching 
Scroll sawing 



BXBRCISE, a AMES, ETC. 



BED HOUR, ETC. 



13 



Carving wood 



.12 12 

Sewing on machine 

Cooking meals 

"Geography game," " Andros- Sleep from 

coggin," etc. 8 p.m. to 7 a.m. 

Tennis 
Hoeing 
Care of large animals 

.13 13 

General care of house 
Fancy dancing 
"History game," etc. 
Golf 

Good walks and plenty of exer- 
cise 



Sleep from 
8.30 p.m. to 7 a.m. 



14 



14 14 

Following some Evening game parties 

special talent "Crambo," "Capping Sleep from 

verses," etc. 9 p.m. to 7 a.m. 

Competitive running, jumping, 

mowing, etc. 
Special excursions for the 
study of nature 

15 15 15 

Basketball Sleep from 

Football 9 p.m. to 7 a.m. 

Design Plowing 

Continue studious walks 



16 16 

Evening concerts Ordering meals 

Culture of singing Evening dancing parties 
voice 

Long tramps 



17 17 

Private theatricals, 

concerts, etc. Lunch parties 

Camping out alone 



.16 

Sleep from 
9.30 p.m. to 7 a.m. 



Semi-occasional 
late hours 



.17 

Sleep from 

10 p.m. to 7 a.m. 

Occasional late 
hours 



18 



Philanthropic 
interests 



18 

Housekeeping 
Dinner parties 
House parties 

11 



.18 

Sleep from 

10 p.m. to 7 a.m. 
More frequent 

late hours 



CHILD-TRAINING 

EXPLANATORY NOTES BY MRS. ALLEN UPON 
SUBJECTS IN FIRST COLUMN OF CHART 

First Year 

SUBMISSION. — The natural impulse of every creature is to 
do whatever .comes into his head, that is — to do as he likes. 
The first lesson in behavior that a human creature has to learn is 
that he must always do, not just what he likes, but what is best 
for him. Sometimes this is also what he likes. When it is not, 
he must learn to submit. So, the first thing that a baby must 
learn, by experience, is that he must lie in his bed almost aU 
the time no matter how much he likes to be taken up; etc. 

Obedience. — Next he must learn that passive submission 
when he cannot help himself is not enough. He must do of 
his own will, many things which he does not just like to do. 
So, the next thing which he must learn is to stop when his 
mother says "No! No!'' 

Self-control, — ^Afterwards he must learn not to do what his 
mother would say "No! No!" to, if she were present. That 
is, he must learn self-control. He must not take the sugar 
even if Mother is not looking. 

Second Year 

Imitation. — We are commonly told that all which a child 
learns, he learns by imitation of his elders. But this is not so. 
A child does not begin to imitate any one, until he has learned 
to use all his muscles and senses and has found out how to do 
many simple things with them. Then he begins to look around 
for more things to do. It is then that the idea of imitating 
dawns upon him. Then he begins to learn to talk, not merely 
to make noises. Then, and not till then, you can begin to teach 
him by showing how you and other people do things. 

12 



CHILD-TRAINING 13 

Reasonableness. — ^As soon as a child begins to understand 
a few little words, and long before he can express himself in 
sentences, you can begin to explain the reasons for your com- 
mands. "Baby, no, no touch stove! Bumy, bumy!" This 
is the way to draw out his reasonableness. 

Self-amusement. — Every one ought to be full of resources, 
able to amuse himself when there is no one else to be had. So 
a little child should be left to itself a great deal, to invent its 
own amusements. Of course it should be given some simple 
things to play with, but a grown person or an older child should 
not spend precious time "amusing the baby!" The baby 
should amuse itself. Besides, an older person, child or adult, 
always plays with more ideas than the child himself would 
naturally have. It is impossible for any one older to be as simple 
as a child really is. So the society of older playmates is a very 
exciting thing to a child, and he should have but very little of it. 
This applies to story-telling as well as to games. Many con- 
scientious mothers over-excite their children by being over- 
devoted to them. 

Third Year 

Self-direction. — In all his own small affairs, where he cannot 
do himself any Harm, a child should have perfect freedom of 
choice. He should choose for himself which path he will take, 
which hand he will put first into his coat, what toy he will take 
to bed, etc. And even when you are quite sure that he will 
not like it when he gets it, let him have it and find out for him- 
self — unless some real harm will come. If he wants salt in his 
milk, let him put some into part of his milk and he will learn for 
himself very quickly how disagreeable it is. Your statement 
against it would not teach him or even convince him. 

Courage. — A child should begin early to try to conquer his 
natural fears, whatever they may be. These are different in 
different children. Some are afraid of strange people, others of 
strange places. Some shrink from any new experience. Others 
are afraid of animals. Some are terrified by swift motion or 
Ipud noise or by the very idea of pain. Each fear springs 
from. some inner condition of the child, from sensitive brain- 



14 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

m 

centers, or delicate nerves in one organ or another. These 
fears must be overcome by self-control. But a child who is 
possessed of fears cannot be cured all at once by forcing him into 
violent contact with the thing he hates. He must be helped 
by explanations, by encouragement, by being shielded as far 
as possible from the extreme forms of his "bugbears," and by 
feeling the sympathy and moral support of his mother while he 
is trying to face the milder forms. But courage he must learn, 
for fear is the most weakening of all emotions, and he who has 
not courage cannot get through this difficult and dangerous 
world at all. 

Kindness. — ^Until a child is nearly three years he seldom has 
imagination enough to begin to be really kind. You may teach 
him not to pull the cat's tail. But that will be because he is 
obedient, or else because he is afraid of being scratched. When 
he is nearly three, he can begin to imagine how it would feel to 
be pussy and have his tail pulled. This is the beginning of 
kindness. And kindness is the basis of all the social virtues 
— ^politeness, gentleness, etc., and also of cheerfulness, unselfish- 
ness, trustworthiness, sense of responsibility, honor, chivalry, 
democracy, and self-sacrifice. K the imagination is not early 
used in guessing how other people feel and in trying to make 
them feel happy, it will prove dull indeed in later life, when the 
tasks of kindness are so much more puzzling. 

Fourth Year 

Cheerfulness, — As before said, cheerfulness is a duty to one's 
neighbor. Incidentally it is also essential to the best condition 
of one's own health, happiness, and usefulness. A child should 
be helped and urged and joked into cheerfulness. Children 
incline to make much of small woes, because they have no sense 
of proportion. But they can learn that sense faster if they are 
helped cheerfully. 

Sincerity. — ^This is the beginning of truthfuhiess. Treat a 
child always with sincerity and seriously, as he treats himself. 
Then he will not learn to pretend with you, in-order to please you 
or to avoid being laughed at. A little child is naturally entirely 



CHtLD-TRAINING 16 

sincere. But, like all helpless creatures, it quickly leams deceit 
and affectation, if it is not treated with fairness and kindness. 

Unselfishness. — ^This is singularly easy for some natures and 
diflScult for others. In the first place some natures have much 
more imagination than others: they are more able to see what 
others probably want. Some again have much more natural de- 
sire to please than others: such children will be unselfish merely 
for the pleasure of pleasing. Again, some have much keener 
and more concentrated desires and affections than others: such 
children find yielding much more difficult. What appears to 
be selfishness is therefore oftenest a mere lack of the necessary 
knowledge and interest. It is a negative state. Selfishness is 
not positive, imtil it includes an active wish to deprive one's 
neighbor of an obvious good. Wherefore, do not call a child 
selfish. Simply teach him how to be unselfish. Never mind 
about giving it a name. 

Fifth Year 

Truthfulness. — ^Telling the truth is very difficult. It seems 
easy when you happen to know the truth clearly yourself, and 
you have no reason for wishing it was not so. When you 
see your little girl slap her playmate and call names, you are 
horrified if she tells you she "didn't slap and it was the other 
little girl who called names." But, as a matter of fact, she may 
really have been so excited that she did not know exactly what 
she did do, and so ashamed %f her excitement that she hates to 
try to remember. It is absolutely important that she should 
learn to notice what she is about and to remember clearly what 
happens, and to tell accurately what she remembers. But the 
way to help her learn this very difficult skill is, not to frighten 
her by blame and scoldings, but to help her to remember quietly 
and to have the courage to face the truth even when it disgraces 
herself. Also show her on every possible occasion what harm of 
many sorts comes about, when other people fail to tell the truth 
whether they mean to or not. The more imaginative and the 
more sensitive a child is, the more difficult truth-telling is. So 
it is not a virtue to be inculcated by blows and alarms, but by 
explanations a^d assistance. 



16 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 



Sixth Year 

Trustworthiness. — ^This virtue, like all others, comes very 
slowly, and it comes more slowly to lively natures than to quiet 
ones. You must begin early by putting small trusts in propor- 
tion to the capacity of each child. Be very careful to give those 
who find it difficult a chance to learn. In many families the quiet 
steady ones get all the chances to be trusted, and the careless 
ones are never given trusts to practise on. Let every child have 
some bundle to carry when you travel, but do not give the 
lunch or the purse to the heedless one. Send forgetful children 
on easy errands, etc. 

Independence. — ^AU that was said above about self-du"ection 
is equally true of independence. A child must be independent, 
that is, dependent upon himself in all the things which he is 
capable of managing and understanding. But he must be 
obedient and submissive in the things which transcend his skill 
or comprehension. The more independence you accustom 
him to practise in his own sphere, the more willing he will be 
to accept your authority in the things which you obviously 
understand better. 



Seventh Year 

Reserve about Private and Personal Matters. — One has to begin 
even younger than this, to try to make a child practise delicacy 
in mentioning his physical needs and ailments. But most 
children are six years old before you can give them the feeling 
of delicacy, and make them understand that it is not nice to 
talk to outsiders about any affairs which are purely private in 
their interest. Some things are only suitable for the doctor and 
Mother. Other things are just for the family, etc. This helps, 
also, to prepare for a sense of official honor. 

Sense of Responsibility. — ^This is the more advanced form of 
trustworthiness and independence. It comes with the in- 
creased sense of inner life. 



CHILD-TRAINING 17 



Eighth Year 

Respect. — You may secure behavior in a child of three, 
which expresses respect, but the real feeling of respect cannot 
come until the child's imagination is active enough to sense the 
wide difference between his own incapacities and the powers of 
his elders. So one must not wonder at the curious impudence 
of small children. It must be checked, but real respect cannot 
come till later. Respect is a consequence of appreciation. 
One cannot ask for it at all, unless one has done something to 
deserve it. 

Ninth Year 

Loyalty to Persons. — Loyalty is one of the indispensable 
virtues. The power and will to stick to what we admire and 
believe in, no matter how hard that may make our life — this 
is the central essential of a useful, noble life, and it lies at the 
core of happiness, too. The first loyalty possible is loyalty to 
persons whom we love. Later we demand that they be also 
persons whom we can admire, for we weary of following what 
we cannot be proud of. Later still, we learn that even the finest 
person is sometimes a disappointing guide, and so we learn to 
try to be loyal to principle, even if it separates us from our 
friends. Latest of all we come to our ideals, upon which and 
for which principles are built. To those we can give passionate 
imending devotion, for they have no variableness. 

Refinement. — Children who are brought up with gentleness 
and consideration are almost inevitably refined and nice in their 
feelings and talk. They do not need to have their attention 
called to the beauty of refinement, until they come in contact 
with children who are coarse and vulgar. Then it becomes 
necessary to show them how imlovely and unworthy such talk 
and feelings are. 

Tenth Year 

Sense of Personal Honor. — The feeling of honor Is so large 
and abstract that it is scarcely fair to talk about it to a young 



tmimm 



18 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

child. But by the time a child is nine years old, his ideas should 
be large enough to see the meaning of guarding his own honor, 
so that no one need ever fear that act of his has wronged a living 
soul. "Honor," said an old poet, "is the finest sense of justice 
that the human mind can frame. It guards the way of life 
from all oflFence, suflFered or done." 

Help him to be scrupulous in the keeping of promises — 
in standing by agreements, appointments, and engagements of 
all sorts. "A promise must not be broken; it must not even be 
altered or withdrawn, without the knowledge and willing con- 
sent of the other party. If you say you will be there, be there. 
If you agree to do certain work for a certain pay, do it all (and 
a little more besides if you can). If you engage to run a race, 
do not give up because you think the other fellow will beat. 
Do not be a "quitter"! Teach him this by your own practice, 
and by what you expect of him. 

Precision in Execution. — Of course, we try to have the children 
do right whatever they do, even when they are very little. But 
real precision is not possible imtil they have full control of all 
their small muscles and of all their own intentions. So we have 
to wait until they are about nine yiears old, before we can set 
them a standard of real perfection in the tasks they have to do. 
They should have tasks within their power and do them really 
well. The thing most needed in business and all practical life 
is people who will do a thing right the first time — so that it will 
not have to be done over again. 

Eleventh Year 

Reverence. — ^This is the more spiritual form of respect. We 
respect the things which we have seen. We reverence the things 
which we have not seen — the invisible beauties of character 
that make men noble, the things of the spirit, the things that 
are sacred. 

Perseverance with Long Plans. — Little children have not ex- 
perience or imagination enough to think far ahead. But no 
one can live wisely and well in a civilized state without the habit 
of making long plans sensibly. Ten years old is none too early 



CHILD-TRAINING 19 

to begin trying to make sensible plans and sticking to them. 
Encourage children in their pet schemes, and help them to plan 
successfully. 

Twelfth Year 

Loyalty to Principle, — ^This is the wider stage of loyalty. No 
longer urge a child to do right because it will please you or be 
like some one else. Show him the principle and make him 
proud to be loyal to that. 

Thirteenth Year 

Chivalry. — By the time a boy is twelve years old, he should 
have known for several years that we are all bom of woman. 
And he should now learn, if he has not learned before, that men 
have that life-giving power which makes it possible for women 
to bear children. And he should feel clearly that the posses- 
sion of children, which is the greatest blessing that a man and 
woman can gain, is possible only through great self-devotion in 
the mother. Also he should very soon understand the terrible 
unavoidable tragedy of life for a woman who has a child and is 
without the protection of the child's father. This knowledge 
will of itself breed the feeling of chivalry in almost any boy. 
But almost any boy needs to be shown how he can ex,press this 
feeling in little every-day ways. He can raise his hat to every 
woman, in silent expression of the tenderness he feels toward her 
womanhood. He can oflFer her a chair, or a seat in public 
places, recognizing that she may need it much more than he 
does. In various other ways, he can begin to take the attitude 
of protection and physical responsibility toward girls and women, 
which will lead him later to guard them zealously and scrupulous- 
ly from all masculine offence, in others or himself. 

Womanliness. — A girl of twelve, on the other hand, should 
recognize her own woman-fimction quite as clearly but in a 
different light. She should feel that this power of bringing life 
into the world is a wonderful privilege, worth all that it can cost 
a woman, and that the sacrifice and suffering bring a high glad- 



20 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

ness which only a woman can understand. She should think 
of herself as having a high calling, for which she must keep her- 
self pure and strong, imspotted and without weakness. The 
physical trials she need not think about. In the end they will 
seem to her only incidental. The beauty and singularity of her 
privilege should make her humbly in love with womanliness. 

Fourteenth Year 

Sense of Official Honor. — One of the commonest failings of 
well-meaning people is a failure to understand the special extra 
reserves and silences which special circumstances demand of 
them. A youth must begin early to learn that each special 
position has its own proper code of honor. Special knowledge 
demands special reticence. For instance, a boy may speak 
freely to his playmate about the obvious faults of "old Smith" 
who lives around the corner. But he must not discuss his own 
father's faults with any one. In his official capacity as son, he 
owes a loyal reticence. A boy who begins by being careful in 
these ways will scarcely grow up to babble the secrets of his 
employer, or be dishonorable in public office. 

Fifteenth Year 

Democratic Spirit. — ^From their earliest years children, of 
course, should hear their elders talk in a democratic spirit. 
When the father and mother talk about the character of an ac- 
quaintance or of a stranger, they should always pass judgment 
on solid grounds. Honorable dealing and fidelity should rank 
highest. Kindness, generosity, and unselfishness, come next. 
Cleverness and talent of all sorts count for something; but good 
looks, clothes, houses, horses, motor cars, elegant entertaining and 
all such matters, are merely amusing additions to the person him- 
self, and no child should ever get the impression that his parents 
think them of importance. But young children should not be 
taught to be tolerant of other children who have low standards 
of behavior. They should condemn wrong in others just as 
heartily as you want them to condemn it in themselves. Toler- 
ance, the excusing of people's faults on the ground that they 



CHILD-TRAINING 21 

know no better, is not properly understood by children. It is 
most apt to make them little snobs, condescending to those who 
have not had their own advantages. Or it makes them think 
that after all these things cannot be so very wrong, if Mother 
says other children must not be blamed for them. To teach 
tolerance, we must wait imtil the child has enough imagination 
to see the diCFerence in different people's surroimdings, and to 
imderstand how complicated is the problem of living aright. 
After they are fifteen, they can begin to understand that people 
must be blamed and praised, not merely according to what they 
are, but according to what they might have been. They must 
begin to appreciate the responsibility which their own excel- 
lent opportunity puts upon them of being worthy. The demo- 
cratic spirit gives every one a chance and then expects him to 
use it well. 

Sixteenth Year 

Sense of Relative Values in Moral and Social Distinctions. — 
This virtue has no short name, but it is very important. We 
need to grow up with a habit of easily distinguishing between the 
value of clean speech and the value of a ready compliment. 
Decency has a moral value; "blarney" has only a social value. 
Telling the truth is a moral necessity; wearing fashionable 
clothes has merely a social advantage, it is never a duty. Girls 
especially are apt to get an exaggerated idea of the relative 
importance of the social "virtues.' ' Both girls and boys should 
know by practical instinct, bred by the family habits, that 
wherever a moral consideration clashes with a social demand, 
the social demand must always give way as a matter of course. 
It is very nice to entertain your friends, but it is very wrong to 
run into debt in order to please them. 

Seventeenth Year 

Loyalty to Ideals. — ^This is the highest, truest, most enduring 
kind of loyalty. An ideal is a picture in one^s mind of what is 
best to be and do and have. 

You admire Mrs. A. because she is so faithful and hard- 



22 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

working, but you are disappointed to find that she is cross to 
her children. Mrs. B. is loving and gentle but she lets her house- 
keeping go at loose ends. Mrs. C. is brave and cheerful but 
she neglects both her house and her children. So you conclude 
that it is best to be faithful and loving and brave — all three. 
You make a picture to yourself of what such a woman would be 
like. That is your ideal. You cannot find a real woman so 
perfect, but you would like to see one and you would like to be 
one. If you are loyal to your ideal, you try to be, each day, 
as like your ideal as you can. And presently, after ten years 
perhaps, people begin to wonder what makes you so much more 
faithful and loving and brave than most women are. It is 
because you are being loyal to your ideals. 

So, likewise, with what is best to do. You know that it is- 
best to do your plain duty first and quickly; and to leave as much 
time as may be to enjoy wholesome pleasure with your chil- 
dren, and with your husband if he is so fortunate as to think 
so too. 

A part of the leisure time, too, should go to helping on good 
things outside home. You know of no one who does the very 
best that you can imagine in these ways. You make an ideal 
life in your imagination. This becomes a very beautiful and a 
very dear guide to you. Then, if you are loyal to this ideal of 
what to do, you try steadily to live up to it. By and by, your 
life comes to resemble your ideal. 

Concerning what is best to have, an ideal is harder to attain. 
To be loyal to that ideal is even harder still. So many things 
seem best! Cleanliness and tidiness, space enough in the house 
and out of doors, books and pictures, education, hired household 
help, horses and automobiles, nice clothes — all these things are 
good to have and the best of each seems the best to have! I 
do not mention money, because money is not good to have; 
it is merely good to hdp us have the things we want. But the 
more money we have to get the things with, the harder it is to 
decide what is really the best to get. If you have a clear ideal, 
however, the choice becomes easier, though it is never simple. 
First, of course, good friends and good food; then next, cleanli- 
ness and tidiness. This is the best thing to have — the most 



CHILD-TRAINING 23 

absolutely necessary to comfort and health, not too much, but 
just enough cleanliness to be sanitary and just enough tidiness 
to be comfortable and convenient! 

Second, space enough in the hottse and out of doors. Al- 
ways have as much space as you can aflFord,'So that the family 
need not rim against each other too closely and constantly. 
Third, books and pictures. With a few good books and a few 
good pictures, if he takes an interest in them, one can get along 
very well without an "education.'' Fourth, education. An 
education as elaborate as one has the ability to use well, is an 
excellent help to usefulness and development. But it is not 
nearly so important as the first three good things. Fifth, 
hired household help. Many a woman longs for this, when 
she has not the four better things for herself and her children. 
The only good of hiring help is in order to do some other very 
useful things which one can do better or at least as well. Sixth, 
horses and automobiles. I put these before nice clothes, be- 
cause with them one can do so many pleasant things, and see 
so many things and people worth seeing. Seventh, and far in 
the rear, nice clothes. Of course one must have clothes of some 
sort, and they must be clean and tidy and not very queer. It 
is good to have them pretty, too, if that does not take too much 
time. But money put upon clothes ends in the clothes. Put 
on any of the other six things, it brings a long train of other 
valuable things behind. Such practical things as these do not 
seem the stuflf from which to make an ideal. Yet to live loyally 
according to this grading of values takes courage and foresight 
and devotion. It takes all that one can gather of faithfulness, 
love, and bravery. It takes, too, all the wisdom that one can 
acquire. 

Such are the ideals of what is best to be and to do and to 
have. Happy the woman who learns to make such pictures and 
live in their presence. Happier she who has, to guide and aid 
her in such a life, the light and strength of true religious faith. 

Eighteenth Year 

Sense of Responsibility toward Humanity. — Much is said 
nowadays about social service, love of humanity, imiversal 



24 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

brotherhood; but this aspect of things should not be thrust 
upon children. Until they have learned to be loving and tolerant 
toward their brothers in the flesh whom they see every day, 
they are in no position to understand or practise tolerance and 
love toward their human brothers whom they have not seen. 
When, however, they are close upon maturity, it is time they 
began to understand this larger appeal. 

Nineteenth Year 

Idea of Self-culture. — Last of all should they take up the idea 
of self-culture. One's duty toward oneself must ever be merely 
the second consideration. So a concern about self -development 
should come, consciously, only after all other duties have been 
definitely accepted. Yet this, too, is a duty; and when the time 
comes that the mother and father can no longer direct the child's 
occupations so as to give it the best personal development, 
then the child, now almost grown up, must take up the task, 
and learn the duty of giving self the best wholesome pleasures 
and enlarging opportunities, compatible with duty to others. 
The fullest usef uhiess cannot be given without the fullest devel- 
opment 



CONDUCT AND CHARACTER- 

BUILDING 



AMBITION 

TO the small boy it is as simple to be ambitious for his 
future as it is to breathe. Of course he will grow 
up to be President; why not? Or if not President, at 
least he will be rich or famous in some way. It all looks so 
easy! 

But as he grows older things seem altogether different. He 
finds it means continuous hard work even to hold his own in 
school or on the playground, and it is far easier to let some 
one pass him than to keep in the front rank. He grows, slowly 
but surely, to understand that it is going to be exactly so in the 
long race of life; hard work all the way to rise to the higher 
levels; and too often he accepts the second best as his lot, and 
thinks it not worth while to struggle toward the first. Perhaps 
he ceases to try at all, as he finds out that even second best 
things are difficult to attain, and sinks down to the utterly 
commonplace. 

A boy who has no ideals of manhood and no ambitions will 
assuredly be a failure at any calling. Early in his life, before 
he begins to realize that the upper levels are hard to reach, he 
must be taught that work, hard and incessant work, is essential 
to any progress, and that he must accept this as a matter of 
course. When this is done, this one fact thoroughly instilled, 
ever3rthing looks possible to him. Lessons are hard, of course; 
but they are meant to be hard! It is almost impossible to 
win a first place in athletics, but at least one can try for it; 
the prize in anything means a struggle, and if there were none 
there would be no value to the prize. It is by dint of repeating 

25 



26 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

such things to a child that ambition is awakened and achieve- 
ment made to seem possible. 

When the two parts of the whole are put together by the 
parent, ambition and eCFort, and both are constandy stimulated, 
children grow naturally to look on the best things as within 
their reach. Ignoble ambitions, of course, may be appealed to, 
carelessly or with intention, and a prize may be made to seem 
valuable for itself alone, or money-making or mere worldly 
success attractive; but a conscientious parent will carefully 
avoid these dangers. Boys especially are too apt to think of 
getting rich as the end and aim of life. The ambitions must 
constandy be turned toward the higher planes, and philantliropy 
made to be the end of wealth, not money itself; and position 
must be desired because thereby one can do so much for others, 
not because it will be delightfid to be more conspicuous than 
other people. 

Biography is one of the great stimulants to ambition of the 
right sort. No one can constandy read of such men as Lincoln, 
or the late Governor Johnson of Minnesota, or of such women 
as Florence Nightingale or Louisa May Alcott, without desiring 
to be like them. Such ambitions should be cultivated assidu- 
ously in the home and school, and intellectual and moral laziness 
despised. To be somebody, to do something in the world, should 
be held up as the thing worth striving for. Boys and girls will 
not fail to respond to wise training that urges them toward the 
highest things. 

Foolish ambitions are delightfully dealt with in "The Rats 
and Their Son-in-law" and "The Story of the Man Who 
Did Not Wish to Die," in Volume I, but a worthy aim will be 
recognized in "The Juvenile Orator" in the same book. "Mi- 
das, " in Volume II, shows the evil of a selfish ambition, while 
"Dick Whittington" in that volume teaches how a poor, humble 
boy may rise. The accounts of the travelers Baker and Burton, in 
Volume VI, are stimulating. Compare the biographies of Ham- 
ilton and Bismarck in Volume IX; also read the article "The 
Start and the GoaL " "Girls and Their Mothers," in Volume 
X, is recommended to the students of that essay. All may read 
with profit "Address to the Indolent," a poem in Volume XL 



CONDUCT AND CHARACTER-BUILDING 27 



ANIMAL STUDY 

THE study of animals should be promoted, not only as a 
part of general knowledge of the world about us (which 
has been made of value to man mainly through their agency), 
but because it is necessary to our proper treatment of them 
and also to our imderstanding fully our own place in nature. 
Hence the attention of children ought to be directed to it, and 
fortunately there is no subject in which they are more likely 
to be interested when properly guided. Let them begin right 
at home with the domestic animals of the farm, or the pets and 
familiar visitors to the garden. There need be nothing formal 
about it; but only a calling of their attention to certain points 
and comparisons, from which gradually will grow broader 
knowledge, pleasantly supplemented by reading. 

Supposing, for example, you confine yourself at first to half 
a dozen kinds of creatures which every child knows by sight — 
a horse, a cow, a dog, a cat and a squirrel. In what features 
are all alike? Each has a similar general form, a hairy coat, 
four legs, two eyes, ears, nostrils, etc. Some other animals 
you know also have the two eyes, etc., such as a bird or a frog 
or a fish, but these have no coat of hair since their skin is covered 
with feathers, or with scales, or is naked; so they are diCFerent 
from the cow, horse, dog and cat, and from each other. Thus 
it appears that we have various classes or kinds of animals — a 
hairy kind, a feathered kind, a scaly kind and so on. Some 
day one of the youngsters will interrupt to ask "What is an 
animal?" to which it is sufficient to answer that it is one of the 
two kinds of living creatures — that one which can move about 
as it pleases, whereas a plant, the other kind, is fixed by its 
roots in a single spot; moreover an animal feeds upon plants 
or other animals while a plant feeds generally upon substances 
in the soil and air. 

Now that you have a basis to work upon, go back to the 
familiar hairy animals. How do the five you know best diCFer ? 
Two are large, and three are small; the large ones eat only 
grass and such things; two of the smaller eat meat, and have 



28 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

very diflferent teeth from the other two, and the squirrel eats 
nuts, etc. and has teeth unlike any of the others. Very well, 
now take a simple group — how do the horse and cow differ? 
Compare the long, hornless head of the horse, and its neat, 
single hoof, with the short, horned head of the cow and her 
double hoof. What distinctions can you (i.e. the child) see 
between the dog and the cat? The cat has a round head and 
no nose to speak of, while the dog has a long head and muzzle; 
the cat has short legs and a creeping gait, the dog longer ones. 
What about the toes ? There are five — ^the same number as your 
own; but the nails in the dogs are strong and blxmt and open, 
while those of the cat are slender and sharp, and drawn up 
most of the time in sheaths of skin. Then compare with these the 
limbs and claws of the squirrel. The diflferences mean a great 
diflference in habits, do they not? What are these habits? 
And how are the structures and habits related ? 

Such a method is the merest suggestion of how any parent 
may start his smallest child aright on the road to a knowledge 
of animals, in a way which will interest them and open their 
eyes. Unfortunately a large part of the reading designed for 
children in this direction is mere gush, or so isolated that it 
gives little or nothing upon which the child's imagination and 
curiosity may build intelligently. What is wanted by a child 
at first is a plan of study into which every fact learned later will 
fit, completing in his mind an orderly structure of knowledge. 
There is no reason why he should not acquire his knowledge of 
the animal life of his coxmtry, or of the world, as he does his 
knowledge of its geography, by getting first a true outline map of 
the great divisions, and then little by little filling in the details, each 
one in its proper position. The diflference is that between knowl- 
edge and mere information — between a house and a pile of bricks. 

Thus started, the boy or girl will read with enjoyment and 
comprehension " The Animal World, " Volume V in the Library; 
and appreciate properly the Animal Stories in Volume IV. 
Before the child is far enough advanced to take this subject up 
for himself he will have learned the names of the principal 
kinds of animals and learned their leading characteristics. 
The fairy stories and droll tales and fables which will be read 



CONDUCT AND CHARACTER-BUILDING 29 

to him from Volume I are full of allusions to them; and many 
a little rhyme and ballad of the nursery, such as " Who Killed 
Cock Robin," and "The Snowbird's Song,'' turns the baby's 
eyes to the window to see the birdies, and inclines its heart to 
their welfare. To many a child the magic animals of Hia- 
watha's land will be the feature of most interest in the m)rth of 
that wondrous hero of our northern forests, as related in Vol- 
ume II; and it will be pleasant to turn from it to the real 
zoology in Volume V, and find the same animals as they really 
are. That would be excellent practice, too, with the rich list 
of Animal Stories in Volume IV. Many of them are gems of 
fiction, yet built upon a basis of truth; and their delicate imagery, 
or stirring adventure> or jolly f im, as in the delicious satire of the 
boastful Tartarin's exploits with lions in Algiers, will lose nothing 
by a little sober reading afterward on the subject of each. 

It is thus the necessarily brief accounts in the natural history 
are enriched and extended. When you have led your son or 
daughter to see your cow as an animal distinguished by certain 
peculiarities he will be ready for the next step — Chapter xv in 
Volume V. Then he will learn that the world holds various 
other cattle, some wild and some domestic, and that we used 
to have here in America a kind of ox which ran wild in great 
numbers. This will interest him; and in pursuit of this interest 
he will want to read in Volume VI the article, "The Buffalo of 
the Plains," which describes how they were hunted in the 
early days; and also the article, "In the Rocky Mountains." 
In these he finds mentioned various other animals — deer, 
pronghorns, prairie dogs, moimtain sheep, various birds, rattle- 
snakes and so on. In Volume V the means are at hand to tell 
him more of these, and better put them in their proper place 
in the arrangement of animal life. 

«ji «ji «ji 

APPLICATION 

APPLICATION may be called putting Attention to prac- 
tical use. It means not only the ability to concentrate 
your mind on the task at hand, but the will to keep it there, and 



30 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

to exert all your powers toward completing it. It is called 
for in play as well as in work. You must train systematically, 
you must practise a certain length of time each day, whether 
you like it or not, you must play hard to the final innings, or 
you won't win. Problems cannot be solved, tasks worth doing 
cannot be accomplished, except by working steadily as well as 
forcefully. Hard work will not count for what it ought unless 
it is continuous. It was his steadfast attention to business, 
slow but sure, which put the tortoise first over the line, while 
the hare, though spurting now and then, frequently stopped to 
look after other aCFairs than the race which was his immediate 
duty. The English saying "It's dogged does it" expresses the 
effect of application, bringing to mind the whole-souled scratch- 
ing of a terrier in digging out a mouse, imdistracted by anything 
going on around him. 

To their power of application most great men attribute their 
success. Henry Ward Beecher quoted a general observation 
when he declared that genius was a capacity for hard work. 
We may believe genius to be somewhat more than this if we 
please, but we do know that the men who have become great are, 
as a rule, these who could bend their minds and energies sternly 
and continuously to the subject they were engaged upon. 
They could do one thing at a time, and see it through. They 
not only struck while the iron was hot, but gave it no time to 
cool before they hammered it into the shape they desired. 
Application, then, is the fixing one's mind upon the work in 
hand, and keeping it there as long as necessary; it is the prac- 
tice of attentive labor. Such ability is the outgrowth of the 
faculty of attention, and is indispensable to profitable industry. 
Furthermore, application is not only the best way to get things 
done, but gives more reward than the good result attained, 
for it so trains the faculties that when, as will surely happen, 
some occasion arises for special, continuous, strained effort, 
like a college examination or a business crisis, mind and body 
will readily cope with the emergency, and will survive the 
ordeal where competitors accustomed only to casual and dis- 
connected labor will speedily break down. A dreamy, desultory, 
inattentive manner of working will accomplish little. The 



CONDUCT AHD CHARACTER-BUILDING 31 

Doy or girl who is not capable and in the habit of application 
is in need of instant reform. 

In Volume I of the Library will be found little poems and 
stories, easily appreciated by yoimgsters, bearing upon this 
topic— read " The Three Brothers, " " Do the Best You Can, " 
"The Tortoise and the Hare," and "The Crow and the Pit- 
cher." Chapters in "Robinson Crusoe," Volume III, contain 
niunerous instances of the practical results of ingenious applica- 
tion. " Goody Two-Shoes, " further on in that volume, presents 
a simpler but just as important example. Turn to Volume 
VIII and you find many successful scientific achievements 
owing their completion to the habit of unflagging application, 
for instance "Wireless Telegraphy," or "The Motor Vehicle," 
or "The Flying Machine." In Volume IX we recommend 
the biographies of Thomas A. Edison and Elihu Burritt, also 
the articles "Men of Pluck" and "How Great Things Are 
Done. " 



«ji «ji «ji 
APPRECIATION OF ART 

THE term "art" is generally used in connection with paint- 
ing, music, architecture, and sculpture; in the broader 
sense it means any embodiment of the sense or the love of the 
beautiful. To appreciate the splendor of the autumnal foliage, 
the glory of gorgeous sunsets, or the grandeur of mountain 
scenery attests the possession of artistic sense as much as does 
admiration of a cathedral or of a sculptured masterpiece. There 
is beauty everywhere, in such familiar things as field and forest 
and orchard, as well as in an art gallery whose walls are adorned 
with the masterpieces of great painters. It has been said that 
"beauty exists in the eye of the beholder." This is equivalent 
to saying that there is beauty everywhere if only our eyes are 
trained to see it. The study of art trains the eye to see and the 
mind to appreciate the beautiful. 

The love of the beautiful in nature and in art can and should 
be cultivated. It "pays" because of the pure pleasure it gives 



32 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

and because it is an elevating force in character-building. Boys 
and girls, and we who have reached middle age, can study art 
in sunset skies and snow-crystals, in the plumage of birds and 
the petals of the rose, as well as in paintings, engravings, and 
books about art. Don't forget that the study of the beautiful in 
nature and in art will help to lift you above petty cares and 
little disappointments. It improves the manners and refines 
the mind. 

Half of Volume XII of the Library is given up to a brief 
but clear History of Art with many fine photographic reproduc- 
tions of paintings, sculpture, and buildings. This History of 
Art is so clearly and simply written that it can be read with 
pleasure and profit by the children and young folks as well as 
by those who are older. The chapters on art in ancient Greece 
and Rome, and those on art in modern Italy and France, may 
well be read in connection with the geography and history of these 
countries. In Volume VIII of the Library there is a long, 
fully illustrated chapter on the beautiful forms of water, dew, 
snowflakes, etc. An article on " The Potter's Art " is in the same 
volume. In Volume X will be foimd articles on the "Expres- 
sion of Rooms" and "Niu^ery Decorations." Be sure and 
read the description of "The Taj Mahal" in Volume VI. 
You will find the nature poems in Volume XI interesting. 
Turn, also, to the biography of Palissy in Volume IX. 

j^ <j* «ji 
ATHLETICS AND HEALTH 

BOYS and girls should be taught that the ideal condition 
of life at which they should constantly aim is expressed 
in the old phrase: "A sound mind in a sound body." It has 
frequently been remarked that nearly all successful men and 
women — men and women who have done great things for 
their families, for their country and for the age in which they 
lived — ^have been strong in body, as well as in intellect. It 
will be profitable for the boy to know that nearly every intel- 
lectually great man whom he will learn to admire, and whom 



CONDUCT AND CHARACTER-BUILDING 33 

he ought to try to emulate, was strong physically as well as 
mentally and morally. George Washington and Abraham 
Lincoln were physical giants. At wrestling it is said that 
neither of them was ever thrown. Lincoln could lift 900 
pounds without "harness." And the following famous men 
all possessed great physical strength and endurance: Daniel 
Webster, Benjamin Franklin, Henry Ward Beecher, John C. 
Calhoun, William E. Gladstone, Count Bismarck, John Wesley, 
Samuel Johnson, and James A. Garfield. See Volume IX of the 
Library. 

The girls should be reminded of the fact that nearly all 
great and successful women, who did the most efficient service 
in private life, were physically strong. This is true of such 
splendid women as Jenny Lind, Grace Darling, Susanna 
Wesley, Louisa M. Alcott, Adelina Patti, Madame Melba, 
and a host of others. There are a few exceptions, but not 
many. Mrs. Browning, for example, was always physically 
weak and delicate. 

Julia Ward Howe possessed such splendid health and vigor 
that she was able to write the " Battle-H)rmn of the Republic" 
between eleven o'clock at night and six o'clock in the morning, 
while sitting up all night with a sick child. No wonder that 
she is healthy, happy, and vigorous at ninety. 

Boys and girls should learn that good health can be 
acquired by adequate exercise. Theodore Roosevelt, a weak, 
sickly child of ten, is a physical giant at fifty. Constant exer- 
cise should be vigorously pursued from early life to old age. 
There are abundant opportunities for exercise in the home by 
the use of dumb-bells, and by other methods recommended in 
the Library. 

No father or mother, no boy or girl, should fail to read the 
following articles in Volume X of the Library in connection 
with exercise and "keeping well": "Care of the Body in 
Health " ; " Common Sens^ Physical Training " ; " Exercise with 
Apparatus"; " Special Exercises for Women." In fact, all of 
the articles in the department entitled "Systematic Physical 
Training" should be carefully read and the advice put into 
practice, allowing for condition, age, and circumstances. Little 



34 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

ones may be inspired to strengthen their bodies by calling their 
attention to feats of favorite heroes in Volumes I, II, and VII 
of our Library. 

w* »• w* 

ATTENTION 

IT would be difficult to exaggerate the value of ability 
to pay attention — to fix and hold the mind on a sub- 
ject of thought, whether the matter of it reaches the brain 
through eye or ear. This is not natural to the young but must 
be cultivated, and should be sedulously taught because it is 
the most effective tool that can be placed in the student's hand. 
To the boy or girl of active intelligence the training of this ability 
into a habit is especially important, for their quick interest 
in all that is going on around them distracts them from the task 
in hand more than is the case with less imaginative minds. 
Without it a subject is only partly understood — ^merely its 
surface is scanned in a broad and indefinite way; the deeper 
significance and relations, essential to real knowledge, are not 
grasped. Thus the impression left upon the mind is vague, 
and precise observation and learning becomes more and more 
difficult. It has been found by animal trainers that beasts are 
teachable in proportion as they show this quality of mind; 
monkeys and birds can be taught but little, mainly, apparently, 
because they cannot be made attentive to the lessons. Samuel 
Smiles, in urging the importance of concentrating the mind 
at will, declares that the "difference of the intellect in men 
depends more upon the early cultivation of this habit than 
upon any great disparity between the powers of one individual 
and another." The art of memorizing rests largely upon the 
faculty of shutting out other facts and impressions while the 
picture of the things or words to be remembered is printed on 
the mind. This is only one instance of how attention is the 
very comer-stone of study, and should be the first and constant 
care of those who seek to develop a young intellect. One may 
begin almost as soon as the child learns anything, by teaching it to 



CONDUCT AND CHARACTER-BUILDING 35 

look closely at an object or collection of them, and then describe 
what it has seen; by repeatedly reading a short story, then re- 
quiring it to report what it has heard; by insisting that it take 
and deliver messages correctly; and otherwise proceeding from 
simple to more complex tests of attention until a faculty and 
habit have been formed. 

Consult Volume I of the Library for the first lessons in 
attention under story guise, particularly "Discreet Hans," 
"The Sweet Soup," and "The Nail." Nothing could be 
better to rivet a little one's attention on the alphabet than 
Lear's "A Was an Ant" in the same volume. In Volume II the 
story "Why the Fish Laughed" suggests the importance of 
listening attentively to wise words, while the tale of "The 
Purple Jar, " in Volume III, teaches the value of accurate at- 
tention to externals. Close watch on the wonders of nature 
is presented in Volume V, and we lay emphasis on the "Walks 
with a Naturalist" and "Nature-Study at the Seaside." Then 
read "Old Rotterdam" and "On the Road in Russia" in 
Volume VI, for the attention given to details of travel. Also 
we refer the student to the biography of Newton and to " Success 
in Business" in Volume IX. Good counsel on the subject 
will be found in "Lord Chesterfield's Maxims" and "How to 
Use Books, " Volume X. 

J^ fSm J^ 

CHEERFULNESS 

CHEERFULNESS has been delightfully called "the 
bright weather of the heart." Let the mother smile 
down upon the babe that gazes tearfully up into her eyes, and 
often out of a peevish humor a happy spirit is at once evoked, 
for an infant is most sensitive to look and tone. Let her meet 
its childish woes and hurts with an encouraging word, and very 
early it will begin to take a cheerful view of life; and how easily 
it attaches itself to any one with a bright face and a merry 
heart! We are generous in the education of our children, but 
do we not sometimes neglect the very important art of cheerful- 



36 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

ness ? Draw the child's attention to the beauty of a rainy day, 
and to the different blessings associated with merry spring, glow- 
ing summer, gorgeous autumn, and brisk winter. Teach them 
to look more often up into the sky with its wonderful cloud 
effects; for the cheerful ones are always those that look out and 
up. It is easier now than in the olden days to teach the young 
lessons of cheer; for more and more their social betterment is 
made a subject of study. It was not until late in the nine- 
teenth century, for example, that children were taught to sing, 
and does not the music thus brought into their lives impart 
genuine pleasure? 

Some mothers that read these words will sigh and say that 
withal life is a chapter of many and varied experiences, and that 
it is hard always to be bright. Well, there are clouds it is true, 
but there is a rift somewhere; the best way is to walk hand in 
hand with the children right up to manhood and womanhood, 
trying to carry the cheer together, and cheerfulness has an abid- 
ing element that overcomes many obstacles. 

Do not worry your children about things that may never 
happen. Take a lesson from the story of St. Teresa. When 
on the way to Alamanca, to found her convent, she spent the 
night in a ruined house. A frightened nun who accompanied 
her called out to her in the darkness, " I am thinking, Mother, if I 
should die now, what would you do alone ? " and St. Teresa, half 
awake, replied: "When this even happens. Sister, I will think 
what I ought to do; for the present let me sleep." A lady in 
Leamington, England, who had been a neighbor of Frances 
Ridley Havergal, with whose ministry of song we are familiar, 
said that Miss Havergal never entered her house but that her 
merry laugh and bright presence touched all hearts. She did 
not repine at her sorrows or delicate health, but " was always so 
cheerie." And with her we recall that other Englishwoman, 
Florence Nightingale, who nursed the troops in the Crimean 
War, and how when one night a sick soldier saw her shadow 
on the wall he exclaimed, "Oh, the cheer of her!" Think 
how the lovable Sir Walter Scott attracted alike children and 
animals by his genial words, and how he would say, " Give me 
an honest laugh!" And Oliver Wendell Holmes, who has been 



CONDUCT AND CHARACTER-BUILDING 37 

named "The Boston Bird with the Chirrup Note" — ^how he 
smiled as he wrote and how we smile as we read! We have 
lingered over these illustrations because they so plauily show 
us that the simplest way to inspire cheerfulness is to be cheerful. 
A great philosopher once said, " Give us, O give us, the man 
that sings at his work!" 

Cheerfulness is one of the cardinal virtues. To be sad and 
gloomy — to look on the dark side of things and grumble — is 
one of the seven "deadly sins." Mothers and fathers will find 
suggestions on this subject in the following articles of Volume 
X of the Library: "Cheerfulness in the Home," "Grumblers," 
"A Courteous Mother," and "A Spirit of Love." 

The very little children will be helped in the direction of 
cheerfulness and happiness by the frequent telling and singing 
of the best nursery rhymes and songs, such as will be found at 
the beginning of Volume I and Volimie XIL There is also a 
fine collection of "Nonsense Songs" in Volume XIL The 
nursery tales and favorite poems in Volume I (pages 32-111), 
should be recited and read again and again to the little ones, and 
they should be encouraged to memorize them and sing and tell 
them to their parents and to each other. This is just as im- 
portant in their development as memorizing the multiplication 
table. For little children to learn such poems in Volume I 
(pages 78-180), as "Suppose," "The Three Little Kittens," 
" There Was a Little Girl, " " Where Are You Going, My Pretty 
Maid?" and to say them over and over, is a lesson in cheerful- 
ness. Such stories and poems as "Puss in Boots," "The Man 
in the Moon," "The Good Time Coming," "Contented 
John" (Volume I, pages 120-210), will bring sunshine and cheer 
to any child. We commend for the children who are somewhat 
older "The Laughter Stories" toward the close of Volume I. 
Most of them are remarkably interesting and should be read 
over and over again. Later on, the boys and girls will find 
inspiration in the direction of cheerfulness in the life-sketches 
of such heroic characters as Julia Ward Howe and Abraham 
Lincoln (Volume IX). 

In Volume III there are many cheery and delightful little 
stories, including "Don Quixote, " and " Uncle David's Story." 



38 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

In Volume XI, in the departments entitled " Girlhood Days" 
and "Boyhood Days," there will be foimd such delightful 
and charming poems as "A Knot of Blue," "The Barefoot 
Boy," etc. 

%0* %0* %0« 

CHIVALRY 

MAY not the twentieth-century mother bring her lad or 
maiden, a lesson from the brave days of old? The 
maxim of the knight of medieval chivalry was devotion to 
arms, compassion for the oppressed, and regard for women. 
The boy of seven became the lady's page; if he proved faithful, 
at fourteen the rank of squire was conferred upon him; and at 
twenty-one he was dubbed "Sir Knight." A romantic light 
is thrown over these ancient warriors; their feats of arms and 
brilliant tournaments; and if we inquire into the moral of their 
deeds, we will find it revealed in Spenser's "Faerie Queen," 
or in Chaucer's "Canterbury Tales" — ^pictures of chivalric life, 
full of lessons of truth and friendship, of justice and courtesy. 

And these lessons are more needed to-day than in the age 
when fierce temptations assailed the intrepid knight. It is 
true, that we do not commit our page to the mistress of the 
lordly castle; but does he not in his own home find constant 
opportunity to practise obedience, courage, truthfulness, and 
courtesy, and those other virtues that make for prompt and 
humane action ? Our young squire with wheel, ball game, 
and races may easily become athletic for life's physical contests; 
and the knightly armor should always be ready, with its coat 
of mail, strong in its greaves and linkings of truth, its breastplate 
of character, its shield of faith, and its sword of purpose and 
courage. The knight need not sally forth on deeds of errantry 
and adventure, or seek the spoils of war; his valor may be 
displayed in deeds of kindness, and in fearlessness in resisting 
temptation. 

And then his purest chivalric expression is found in his 
devotion to women. And what is more lovely than the love 
for mother that should be deeply implanted in the heart of every 



CONDUCT AND CHARACTER-BUILDING 39 

youth and maiden? At a feast once given in a baronial hall, 
each knight was asked to drink to his "ladye fair." And 
St. Leon, the noblest of the guests, " envied by some, admired 
by all," pledged his mother! Every loyal mother by her 
winning personality may claim the same holy love and rever- 
ence from her true knight. A chivalrous character early 
implanted in any boy or girl develops a heroic manhood and 
brave womanhood. And as life is full of surprises, be prompt 
and vigilant. Adopt the motto of the noble Black Prince: 
"I Serve!" and let the service be like that of Chevalier Bayard: 
"Without fear and without reproach." 

For nursery folks a few simple threads of chivalry are woven 
into "Sleeping Beauty" and "Pretty Gk)ldilocks, " both in 
Volume I of the Library; and in Volume II there are stories 
of wider appeal illustrating this splendid spirit — ^read " Perseus, " 
the King Arthur stories, "Roland," and "Robin Hood." In 
Volume III are " Don Quixote, " Chaucer's " Emelia, " and the 
chapter "Hector and Andromache," in the "Iliad." Volume 
IV contains "Wee WiUie Winkie" and "Undine." "The 
Forty-seven R6nins" in Volume VII is a stirring chapter of 
Japanese chivalry; and with that volume in hand read the essay 
on "Sir Philip Sidney." Poems bearing on the subject in 
Volume XI are "Lochinvar," "Marmion and Douglas," 
"The Glove and the Lions," and "Sir Galahad." 



CIVIC RESPONSIBILITY 

EVERY lad, as he approaches manhood, should be imbued 
with the idea that fitting himself for citizenship is a 
patriotic duty. As he shares in the protection and other 
benefits which the organization of society and the government 
of the coimtry afford, so he must feel, under our republican 
institutions, a responsibility for their maintenance and good 
conduct. The government is "of the people" and "by the 
people" as well as "for the people." It is what the people 
make it; but the danger is that too many may forget or neglect 



^ 



40 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

their duty and leave to others, who may be thinking more of 
their own than of the public advantage, the whole control of 
affairs. 

Every citizen has a share in the responsibility of the nation, 
or any part of it, as his State or city or rural district, to be well 
governed. He cannot escape it. Unless he informs himself as to 
questions of policy, and exerts his influence toward what he is 
convinced is the best policy; and unless, when he can vote, he 
gives his ballot to the best man or set of men, so far as he can 
ascertain those best calculated to carry out that policy in the 
conduct of public affairs, he is wronging his neighbors and his 
country. He cannot, in a republic, delegate that responsibility 
to "the politicians" nor to any one else. It is his business to 
get all the light he can on each public question, and then to do 
what he can, by influence and by vote, to put his convictions 
into effect. 

The girls should be taught that they, too, bear a similar 
responsibility, from which they are not exempted because 
they cannot, in most cases, cast a vote. They can study pub- 
lic questions, and arrive at conclusions, and instruct others, 
and bring to bear a powerful influence upon the voters of their 
family or acquaintance. For failure to do so they are equally 
answerable with the men. But boys and girls should be taught 
to realize that for every shortcoming in either local or general 
government they are responsible to the extent that they might 
have spoken and worked against it. 

Civic duties, or the duties of citizenship, are numerous. 
Perhaps most of them may be considered by the boy or young 
man along the following lines: i. Obedience to law. 2. Honor 
in taking an oath, and the avoidance of perjury. 3. Fidelity 
in oflSce, doing full duty and avoiding bribery and "graft." 
4. Duty involved in the ballot, registering, primary elections — 
honor in voting. 5. The dignity and honor of citizenship. 

In the Library will be found (Volume VII, beginning page 374) 
admirable articles on the duties of citizenship by the late Presi- 
dent Cleveland, Theodore Roosevelt, Cardinal Gibbons, and 
many others. In Volume XI the poems under "Country and 
Flag" should be read, and we suggest that at least two of the 



CONDUCT AND CHARACTER-BUILDING 41 

poems be committed to memory. Perhaps " The Star-Spangled 
Banner" and "The American. Flag" will appeal strongly to 
most boys and girls. "Defending the Fort" in Volume IV 
is a good story for the little folks. The story of William Tell 
in Volume II bears strongly on the question of civic duty. A 
great deal of profit may be had by a close perusal of the biogra- 
phy of Thomas Jefferson in Volume IX. 

w* w* J* 
CLEANLINESS 

UNDER this title we wish to say a few words to boys and 
girls, but especially to boys, about cleanliness of body 
and mind. To be clean and neat is your duty to yourself 
as well as to your associates. Is that sentence true, or is it 
not true? What a wretched world this would be if all faces 
were dirty, all hair was imcombed, and everybody's clothes 
were covered with filth! 

Boys and girls, we are not going to write much on this 
subject, because it is not necessary. You can ponder over it 
and arrive at a sensible conclusion just as well as we can. Per- 
haps you might do some thinking and reasoning in connection 
with this subject along the following lines: 

Cleanliness of body, hands, face, nails, etc.; cleanliness 
of clothing, shoes, books, etc.; cleanliness and neatness every- 
where and all the time as far as possible. 

It seems to us that "cleanliness of mind" is a correct ex- 
pression. This means that you will avoid swearing or the use 
of low, mean language. Swearing is a nuisance to all well- 
bred men and women. It is in bad taste, and bad taste indi- 
cates bad breeding. We believe it is generally admitted that 
a gentleman never swears. Perhaps this statement is not 
wholly true, for it is difficult to decide just who are and who are 
not gentlemen. We are sure, however, that if a gentleman 
ever forgets himself and swears, he is ashamed of it afterward. 
Boys, don't indulge in low, coarse talk. Avoid vulgar words, 
vulgar stories, and vulgar jokes. Don't write obscene words 



42 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

on fences or walls or sidewalks. We don't believe that you, 
young readers, have done or will do any of these things, but 
you should go further than that — ^you should show your dis- 
approval of them. If a boy or a man tells you a coarse story 
or low joke, don't knock him down, although he deserves 
it; just listen in cold silence, and the vulgar fellow may not 
repeat the offence. Be pure of speech; it will help you to live 
a pure, true, and noble life. 

Cleanliness of thought and speech are exemplified in the 
little poem, "The Boy who never Told a Lie,'* and in the fairy 
tale, "Toads and Diamonds," both in Volume I of the Library. 
We also advise the reading of "Sir Galahad and the Sacred 
Cup" in Volume II, and the poetical version of the subject 
in Volume XL The poem "Be True," in the latter volume, 
is recommended for memorizing. How to maintain cleanliness 
of body and dress is treated in "Hints for Happiness" and 
" Care of the Body in Health" in Volume X. 



CONTENTMENT 

IN the present-day world perhaps one of the rarest things to 
be met with is the spirit of contentment. Everybody 
is striving to get more than they have, of money, or position, 
luxury, or power. How few have the sane, placid spirit of 
contentment, and how benign are those who do have it! 

Often children learn in the nursery to be discontented just be- 
cause they abeady have too much. The number of toys a baby 
may own is usually unlimited in any way; he may have as many 
as are given him, and the more the better. Perhaps if only he has 
one new one for each restless moment it may content him and 
keep him quiet, reasons his mother and his nurse; and so some- 
thing fresh is handed him whenever he throws down the old toy 
he has been holding. Nothing could be more unwise; he will 
grow into a child who demands more and more, and is restless 
and dissatisfied of spirit. 

It is far better for children not to have too many things, too 



CONDUCT AND CHARACTER-BUILDING 43 

much amusement, too much attention even, if one would cul- 
tivate in them a contented mind. The tendency to-day is all 
toward excitement and stimulation, and children are quite 
as ready as grown people to crave these things. If one would 
start a child on the road to contentment, it is better to give him 
a quiet nursery with fresh air and sunshine for the luxuries, 
and let him learn early to amuse himself, not to depend on 
being amused, and to make much of a few toys rather than to 
play with many and tire of them all. 

To praise common things is one way of giving a child a 
contented mind. When he hears his parents speak delightedly 
of the simny morning, or of some little plant which has come up 
unexpectedly, or of the joy of the little home circle, he learns 
that these are the important things after all, and his little heart 
responds to the demand made upon it. These are the real 
things, those which content father and mother and give them 
happiness, and they appeal to the child even more, with his 
more limited knowledge of the larger world. 

Training in contentment lies in the home far more than 
outside. School may train in other ways, but here the influence 
of the closest environment is what tells in the long rim. A 
contented mother makes a contented child. A home where 
no one says "I wish we had this or that," and is dissatisfied 
because of the lack, but where conditions are accepted as not 
only right, but pleasant, or at least to be made the best and most 
of, is the place where one grows up with the sweet spirit of satis- 
faction with things as they are. 

Such contentment is quite consistent with ambition, and it 
neither narrows one's outlook nor tends to lethargy. It is the 
opposite of restlessness, and the greed for pleasures and un- 
attainable luxuries; it is the calm, quiet influence that is sorely 
needed in this generation, and is priceless to its possessor. 

"Contented John" and "For a' That," poems in Volume I, 
are especially worthy of note, and so is the charming Andersen 
tale, "The Fir Tree," in that volume. In Volume II read 
"Baucis and Philemon," or turn to Volume III in which are 
"Simple Susan" and "Prince Life." The "Alice and Phoebe 
Gary" article in Volume IX illustrates the contentment of 



44 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

those simple, gifted sisters. In Volume X an essay on " Grum- 
biers" will be found. Poems in Volume XI relating to the 
topic of content are "Ode to Solitude," "If We Knew," and 
much of the " Deserted Village. " 



CONVERSATION 

THERE is no doubt," remarks an observer, "that the 
common conversation of the fireside, the table-talk 
of the family circle, influences to a great degree the joy or 
sorrow, the excellence or the inferiority, of home life. For, 
however silent we may be in other places .... we have not 
much hesitation in speaking exactly how and what we wish at 
home. " If this be true it is plain that while there cannot be 
too much of a feeling of perfect freedom, there is also need of 
care in the leaders of the family, who have power to control the 
familiar daily chat, keep it within bounds, and lead it in right 
directions. For home talk is sure to make a lasting impression 
upon the younger members of the household. They will un- 
thinkingly take from it not only their manner of speech, but 
their opinions and their standard of morals, so that their char- 
acters will, to a great extent, be formed by it. 

Good conversation is an art that all young persons are 
anxious to acquire, but they will never excel in it unless they 
are accustomed to well-expressed and high-toned talk at home. 
It is useless to expect children to speak grammatically and with 
proper phraseology, however carefully instructed at school, 
unless the rules and niceties of language are habitually ob- 
served in their own houses. We speak of one's language as 
his mother tongue, meaning that the child uses the speech 
of his mother. He will use it rightly or wrongly, with coarse- 
ness or refinement (at any rate in his younger years) as he hears 
and imitates it daily from her lips. Family intercourse, then, 
should be more, on the whole, than mere gossip. Children 
should be led to talk about things and events rather than of 
acquaintances and their trivial doings — ^least of all about them- 
selves. This does not shut out an abundance of neighborhood 



CONDUCT AND CHARACTER-BUILDING 45 

news and personal interests, yet prevents idle chatter cr some- 
thing worse. Home talk should be courteous: bickering is 
vulgar, and criticism of each other by parents in the presence 
of the young folks is impossible in a well-regulated family. No 
matter how frank and positive your assertions keep your voice 
gentle and your language polite. Rudeness is worse to your 
friends than it would be to strangers. Avoid slang — at any 
rate new and silly slang. It is bad enough to use it on the 
playground: do not bring it into the house any more than you 
do the mud on your shoes, which it may be hard not to pick 
up, but which is not worth keeping. You can be just as jolly 
without it, and won't be in danger of forming a habit that will 
plague you when you go among people of refinement. 

Conversation is not a school, but a means of mental enter- 
tainment and relaxation. It is like a game in which each 
catches and tosses a ball as it comes near, others waiting^ at- 
tentively until the ball suddenly bounds their way, when it 
must be promptly returned for the general benefit. Attention 
and a readiness to do your part at the right moment, is the life 
of the game. To be a good talker, socially, you must be a 
good listener, and courteously considerate. "Take, rather 
than give, the tone of the company you are in," was Lord 
Chesterfield's admonition to his son. 

Let your reminiscences and stories generally illustrate what 
the company has been discussing; and make them brief and 
sharply pointed, trimming oflf unnecessary details. The art of 
telling a story crisply and dramatically is one of the highest 
accomplishments of those who are really social lights; and it is 
an accomplishment worthy of some study and private practice. 
Popularity, as well as courtesy, requires you to listen well to 
any jest or anecdote thrown out. Absent-mindedness acts on 
conversation as water does on fire. A considerate person will 
avoid introducing any topic likely to be unpleasant. " Do not 
speak of ropes in the house of one who has been hanged," is a 
worthy old proverb. Likewise avoid subjects likely to arouse 
harsh differences of opinion. 

A useful hint to beginners in the social path is this: When 
you know that you are to meet a stranger, or a company, pre- 



46 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

pare for it. Try to learn something of the characters and tastes 
of the persons in view, and think what would be appropriate 
and pleasant to say to each of them, and what you would most 
like to hear from them. With such preparation you will hardly 
be caught with empty mouth, because your mind will not be 
empty of ideas; and after all a full mind is the best equipment 
for easy and delightful conversation. 

A poem, "The Chatterbox, " in Volume I, is an excellent litde 
lesson in itself; also "Jack and His Master,'' a humorous 
story in that volume, demonstrates the value of carefully chosen 
words. "Harisarman" and "Why the Fish Laughed" in 
Volume II show the use of happy phrases. In Volume III 
both "Trial" and "The Sore Tongue" are to the point. Most 
of these will appeal to the youngest readers. Older boys and 
girls will find profit in studying the wonderfully chosen words 
of "The Declaration of Independence" and Lincoln's "Second 
Inaugural" in Volume VII, and in Volume IX they are advised 
to read the biographies of Daniel Webster, Henry Ward Beecher, 
and Margaret Fuller Ossoli. Among "Lord Chesterfield's 
Maxims" and in "Table-Talk," Volume X, will be found 
good coimsel about conversation. The playlets in the same 
volume, if committed to memory, ought to prove helpful. 

j^ j^ j^ 
COURAGE 

ALL parents want their boys to be courageous, and would 
like to see them heroes, yet often train them away 
from these ideals, or allow others to do so. Such a mistake 
may easily begin in the cradle. No child would ever be afraid 
of the dark, which gradually approaches each evening, any 
more than of the sunbeams that dissipate it at dawn, did not 
somebody fill its little head with stories of hobgoblins hiding 
among the shadows. 

If, in spite of precautions, such needless fears get into the 
child's mind, do your best to convince it that they are imreal; 
that the bedroom is as safe by night as by day; and gently 



CONDUCT AND CHARACTER-BUILDING 47 

cultivate stoutness of heart. No quality is more essential to 
happiness. A timid child is in constant misery. It imagines 
unreal terrors in each new experience, and magnifies difficulties. 
It is ever on the lookout for harm, and thinking of its own 
weakness instead of that of the foe. So it shrinks from effort 
for fear of getting hurt. 

A courageous nature, on the other hand, dares joyously to 
put forth its whole powers, undaunted by rivalry. It does not 
retreat at the first rebuCF, nor the second, but struggles on. 
It withstands oppression, and resists pressure upon its rights. 
Sometimes courage appears as physical bravery, as when a 
boy risks injury in order to do something that greatly needs 
doing, or when he defends his rights or honor, or a weaker com- 
panion, with his fists. Fighting among boys is surely not to 
be encouraged; yet when your son comes home with a black 
eye and sore knuckles, inquire carefully into the cause of the 
fight and his feeling about it before you condemn him. Some- 
times a fight may even be worth while as disclosing to a timid 
boy the undeveloped manliness which he really possesses. A 
brave nature is a gentle one, but gentleness may, under bad 
management, degenerate into weakness and cowardice, and 
cowardice is usually at the bottom of meanness. 

The highest courage, nevertheless, is that which is able to 
put aside a temptation to fight merely to show bravery, or for 
some other poor reason; which will enable a boy or girl to 
smile at a taunt that everybody knows is undeserved; and 
which, on the other hand, will enable a boy or girl, a man or 
woman, to champion an approved idea or person, however 
unpopular with others, and stand fast to the end of the chapter. 
Physical courage is a good thing, but moral courage is above 
it. It is your privilege to teach your child to have both. 

Boys and girls, won't you do some thinking about courage, 
and look up the word "courage" and the word "heroism" in 
the dictionary ? Then write a short essay on the subject, ar- 
ranging it under the following subdivisions: (i) True courage— 
that is, daring to do right and daring to defend the right; (2) 
false courage— daring to do or to defend the wrong; (3) true 
courage shown in bearing unjust censure or unpopularity; 



48 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

(4) courage in times of danger or misfortune; (5) the difference, 
if any, between courage and heroism. 

Nearly every volume of the Library contains a poem, article, 
or story teaching the great quality of courage. Volume VII is 
almost wholly devoted to heroic deeds, while Volume VI is 
replete with the daring and hardihood of explorers and ad- 
venturers. Then turn to our biographical volume (IX), and 
you find it full of courageous men and women. But for very 
small folks we can recommend "Hansel and Gretel," "The 
Hardy Tin Soldier," and " Jack the Giant-Killer" in Volume I; 
"Cadmus," "Perseus," "Beowulf," and "Roland" in Volume 
II; the Iliad tales in Volume III; and "Defending the Fort," 
"The Boatman's Story," and "Wee Willie Winkie" in Vol- 
ume IV. Many poems of valor and bravery are in Volume XI: 
among others see "The Charge of the Light Brigade," "In- 
cident of the French Camp," "Marco Bozzaris," and "Sheri- 
dan's Ride." Every boy should memorize at least the last 
two. 



CULTURE 
(See "Home Study," "Manners," and "Reading.") 

ar a^ a^ 

CURIOSITY 

CURIOSITY," in the definition of a French writer on 
the mental life of children, "is the mind in quest of 
knowledge. . . It will show itself from the first months, with 
the first glance brought to bear on things, with the first 
movement of the hand to seize and feel a thing." It is the 
mainspring of intelligence. The young mind, like the young 
body, needs exercise in order to grow. Curiosity is the stimulus 
which urges it to seek new sensations, novel impressions, for 
which there is constant hunger, and out of which are formed 
new ideas. The more it explores its world, the further it widens 
its circle of possible knowledge; and when it becomes able to 



CONDUCT AND CHARACTER-BUILDING 49 

talk, its means of satisfying its curiosity are immensely in- 
creased, for now it can ask about things, the mere seeing or 
touching of which is unsatisfying. Then arrives that trying 
period when the little one wishes to take part in everything— is 
always "under-foot, " and follows us with perpetual question- 
ings. He already has learned the appearance of many things; 
now he begins to notice their connection, and that each object 
or act has a cause, a meaning, or a certain regularity of oc- 
currence. Hence, besides his constant inquiry "What is 
that?" come the endless "Whys?" and "Hows?" which so 
tax our patience. Some of this is mere chatter— an egotistic 
desire to be continually noticed and served; and such behavior 
a wise parent will repress; but largely it is legitimate, and due 
to the restlessness of the growing mind, astonished at the host 
of imexplained things constantly met with. 

It is characteristic of this stage that almost any answer will 
be accepted, partly because of the child's entire faith in us, and 
partly because in its wondering state of mind every marvel 
seems possible. It is just because it is so easy to abuse this 
dawning and trustful intelligence— to lead their minds astray 
by careless answers — that parents and others ought to 
be cautious and conscientious in what they say. When a 
chance offers, they ought to show the little questioner how he 
may find out for himself the facts he wants to know and more 
besides. It is even possible, now and then, to set him in the 
way of thinking out answers to questions which he asked be- 
cause he did not yet know how to study. Above all things 
be honest with him. It is a crime against innocence to amuse 
oneself by deceiving a child. " When it is impossible to respond 
seriously to his ill-timed and inopportime questions, it is better 
to answer simply ^I do not know,' or, 'You cannot imderstand 
that at your age,' than to play upon his good faith. " 

The difference between the right and wrong sort of curiosity 
may be aptly shown by comparing "Pandora," Volume II, 
and "The Inquisitive Girl," Volume III, with some of the 
simple, suggestive poems in Volume I, such as "Twinkle, 
Twinkle," "Foreign Lands," and "The Wind," which set 
forth the natural questioning of the child-mind. In Volume V 



50 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

"Walks With a Naturalist" will prove stimulative to the eager 
young enquirers. Volume VI in the Library is replete with 
results of the enquiring spirit, but special attention is di- 
rected to the article "The Lost City of Petra." Scientific 
curiosity fills Volume VIII, and we urge the reading of the 
section " Astronomy, " and " The Habits of Ants, " and " Spiders 
and Their Ways." In Volume IX the biographical sketch of 
Franklin contains much of value. Also, in this connection, read 
"Hints on Education," Volume X, and "The Barefoot Boy," 
Whittier's poem, in Volume XL 



DUTY 
{See "Honor," "Honesty," and "Loyalty.") 

»• »• »• 

EMULATION 
(^ee "Imitation and Emulation.") 

»• »• »• 

FIRMNESS 

FIRMNESS is as necessary to character as is stability to a 
house. The biographies of eminent men, such as those 
outlined in Volume IX, show that they possessed it in a high 
degree, or they would not have accomplished the deeds for 
which they are honored. Having planted their feet upon a 
certain position they maintained it stoutly and unwaveringly. 
Thus Columbus stood against mutinous protests till a new 
world was reached; thus Martin Luther withstood his opponents 
with dauntless resolution; so Wellington, "fair-square to all 
the winds that blew," held his ground at Waterloo and saved 
Europe from tyranny; and so Thomas earned his title of 
" the Rock of Chickamauga. " 



CONDUCT AND CHARACTER-BUILDING 61 

"Firmness in the right, as God gives us to see the right, " was 
the great maxim of Abraham Lincohi. Firmness implies that 
judgment approves of your position and reason assures 
you that the object in view is worthy of exertion, and is 
attainable. 

But firmness, steadfastness, must be distinguished from 
obstinacy, which is firmness wrongly exercised. The word 
obstinacy carries the idea of imreasonable stubbornness toward 
argument or persuasion — self-will in its disagreeable aspect. 
It usually arises from ignorance and egotistic pride, and is a 
mark of prejudice and narrow-mindedness— a disposition to 
believe nothing that cannot be seen. 

Sad to say, obstinacy is more often displayed in women than 
in men, mainly, perhaps, because women in general have less 
breadth of experience together with greater positiveness of 
conviction than men. It is also more characteristic of age 
than of youth, yet is often seen in children, whom it makes 
most difficult to govern; for an obstinate child, compelled to 
submit by force, yet "of the same opinion still," is in danger 
of becoming "sly." This disposition then, is very imdesirable. 
Marcus Aurelius declares that " a child who hath been obstinate 
in his youth will suffer in his old age. " 

A good method of combating obstinacy is to cultivate breadth 
and openness of mind. Point to history and show how incessantly 
the unexpected has happened, how men have seen carried to 
success what they have loudly declared impossible. 

It is a curious fact that the most obstinate children are often 
very sweet in temper. They are as imruffled by argument as 
is a duck by rain, and as impervious to it as are the bird's 
feathers to wet. But the duck, though placid, is a stolid 
bird, and not admirable for a model for a bright boy 
or girl. 

The best appeal, perhaps, will be through ridicule. Obsti- 
nacy is pig-headedness. An obstinate child will not like that 
name for it, and may seek to avoid the reputation. Show 
him examples from his own acquaintances of persons who were 
"dead sure" they were right, in the face of all other opinion, 
yet turned out to be laughably mistaken. 



62 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

Both poems, "The Spider and the Fly" and "The Fox and 
the Crow," in Volume I of the Library, teach simple little 
lessons of being firm. "Theseus" in Volume II, and the 
chapter dealing with Telemachus in "Odysseus," Volume III, 
have similar messages. Also parts of "Pilgrim's Progress," 
Volume III, are suggestive of good, imyielding resolution. 
In Volume VI look up the "First Voyage of Columbus" and 
"Arctic Perils." The wonderfully firm character of William 
the Silent is shown in "The Defense of Leyden," Volume VII; 
another fine example of determined purpose in that volimie is 
in "The Founding of New England." Biographies to the 
point in Volume IX axe those of Martin Luther and Emma 
Willard. For older folks we recommend "The Inhumanities 
of Parents" and "Training the Will" in Volume X. We urge 
for old and young the memorizing of some of the lines in Lo- 
well's "Abraham Lincoln" and Tennyson's "Ulysses," to be 
found in Volume XI. 

»• »• »• 
FRIENDSHIP 

EVERY mother realizes what supreme objects of interest 
children are to children; and this is well, for they 
should not live only with older people, but should have happy 
relations with those of their own age. And they are such 
imitators that they are very easily molded by those with whom 
they come in contact, being either hindered or helped by their 
associations. The fear of the boy getting into loose company 
hangs like a nightmare over thousands of homes to-day. Some 
parents refuse absolutely to let their boys go out in the evening, 
feeling that they cannot get into trouble if they axe kept at home; 
but such unjust confinement works its own harm. With good 
companions the boy is sometimes safer at entertainments at a 
neighbor's home than if kept strictly in his own house. Encour- 
age games, innocent evening recreations, and outdoor physical 
sports. Let the boys work oflF their surplus energy in such natu- 
ral channels. A boy placed on his honor is always more depend- 



CONDUCT AND CHARACTER-BUILDING 53 

able than one watched and suspected every hour of the night. 

If they make vulgar and evil friends, we see them reflected 
in their own speech and manners; while gentle and truthful 
ones are as perfectly reproduced. Every child is known by the 
company it keeps. So let the mother, without prejudice or 
seeming to be over watchful, know her children's companions 
and study their character, for only thus can she help in selecting 
the right sort of friends. But such childish friendships are 
often fickle; the more enduring ones are usually formed by 
those in their teens, and it is then that the subject must be 
faced most seriously and intelligendy, and when the mother-love 
must be most intimate and assertive. The mother is the wise 
counselor to whom her children look for guidance in right 
impulses and cool judgment. She should teach them to be 
kind toward all, but to beware of shallow friendships and of 
the flattery and insincerity of those who find every one whom 
they meet "after their own heart." Honest friendship is a 
passion so intense that it can be shared with but few; but it is 
well to remember Emerson's remark that '*the only way to have 
a friend is to be one." 

Under all its humor, "The Cat and the Mouse in Part- 
nership," Volume I, tells a tale of a mismated pair; and 
in that volume of the Library will be found " The Straw, the 
Coal, and the Bean," and "Hans in Luck," which contain 
warnings against heeding advice from the wrong sort of 
friends. Several chapters of "Pinocchio's Adventures in 
Wonderland" (Volume I) point the same moral. In Volume 
II read "Roland," and in Volume III find the themes of friend- 
ship m the "Iliad," the "Odyssey," "Emilia" and "Amend- 
ment." EflFects of good and evil acquaintance can be seen 
in "Oliver Twist," Volume IV, and animal friendships in the 
same volume are these: "A Field-mouse Tale," "Frisky- 
toes," "Rab and His Friends," "My Lion Friend," and 
"Black Beauty." A useful essay in Volume X is "The Choice 
of Companions." Get by heart some of the poems in the 
"Friendship" division of Volume XI, particularly "We Have 
Been Friends Together," "A Wayfaring Song," and "Bill 
and Joe. " 



54 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 



GENEROSITY 

THE little child comes into the world with a generous and 
loving heart. He will divide with any one his toys or 
his candy; it is only when life opens more before him that he 
becomes selfish and wants everything for himself. The pity 
of it is, that parents are to blame for this state of things, and 
for the stunting of the lovely natural impulses of generosity. 
Sometimes it is merely that they are careless and thoughtless 
about it, and do not definitely try to keep the child in his best 
mood; sometimes it is force of example; and sometimes both. 

It is a help to generosity when a child has to share his play- 
things and belongings of all sorts with his own brothers and 
sisters; then he learns that he cannot have everything in the 
whole world for himself alone; the only child is the one who 
usually grows up selfish. But even when the nursery is a 
training-school, still a parent must daily watch the child and 
try and have him want to give up his own wishes, his own 
things, to those about him. 

Thanks and praise are both valuable in this training. When the 
child comes home from school and gives the mother a flower, she 
must be grateful for it, put it in water carefully, and show appre- 
ciation of the kind thought. This little warming of the child's 
heart is a lesson in itself; it seems worth while to be generous and 
give pleasure when such a reward comes. Of course this is but 
the rudimentary part of generosity, and one must give and divide 
with no hope of reward when the higher stages of character 
are reached; but at first it is best to show the child how lovely 
and how pleasant it is to give generous thought for others. 

The higher praise of the mother, however, should be reserved 
for those things that have the element of self-sacrifice in them. 
When it costs to be generous, then indeed it is worth while! 
The child that denies itself to give to some one who is in need 
should be told quietly, and by itself, that this is the real generos- 
ity, and of the sort that makes father and mother proud and 
happy. The child must not, of course, be praised before 
others in such a way as to make him vain, for one may be 



CONDUCT AND CHARACTER-BUILDING 56 

generous for vanity's sake, even in adult years; the praise 
should be given perhaps at bedtime, or in some quiet hour, 
when the lesson will sink deep. 

It is also necessary to teach a child to be generous graciously. 
It is possible to bestow favors in such a way as to make them 
utterly valueless; the words of Lowell, "the gift without the 
giver is bare," should be impressed in spirit as well as in letter 
on the growing mind. Better not to give at all, one might 
say, that to give in such a way as to spoil the gift. 

Sometimes the idea of generosity is mixed with the idea that 
money value counts in a gift. This is a fatal mistake. The 
service of love, the trifling gift, is worth as much as the giving 
of money or of what has cost money. The mercenary side of 
life should always be kept away from the child as far as is 
possible in this mercenary world. True generosity consists in 
giving with a loving heart, in the spirit of service, whatever 
form the gift takes. 

"The Blackberry Girl" in Volume I of the Library illustrates 
this noble quality and, further on, the funny Chinese story, 
"The Most Frugal of Men," emphasizes an opposite trait. 
Volimie II offers many big-souled characters, but we call 
special attention to "Robin Hood" and "The Two Brothers." 
Then "The Three Cakes," in Volume III, presents even a 
stronger example, contrasting generosity with selfishness. 
Open Volume ly and you will find "Hetty's Half-Crown" 
and "The King of the Golden River" and "The Monkey's 
Revenge. " Read all of them. In Volume IX the biographies 
of George Peabody and Peter Cooper are worthy of close study. 
"Making Presents, "in Volume X, should be consulted in this 
connection. Poems to know word for word are "The Happy 
Warrior," and "My Creed " in Volume XI. 

«JC «Jw v^ 

THE GENTLEMAN 

IT would be hard to find among the men of our own time 
one who illustrates more completely the title "gentleman'* 
than George William Curtis, whose life terminated within the 



56 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

memory of the present generation. Three hundred years before 
him there lived in England Sir Philip Sidney, whom men have 
long esteemed a shining, if not the brightest, exemplar of "gen- 
tlemanliness," to the possession of which all right-minded 
men aspire. It was peculiarly fitting and fortimate, therefore, 
that Mr. Curtis should write of the life and characteristics of 
Sidney, as he has done in Volume VII of the Library, 
and every lad ought to read and re-read that essay imtil 
the spirit which it portrays becomes a part of himself. He 
had, Mr. Curtis tells us of Sidney, that happy harmony of 
mind and temper, of enthusiasm and good sense, of accom- 
plishment and capacity, which is described by that most ex- 
quisite and most abused word, gentleman. "His guitar hung 
by a ribbon at his side, but his sword himg upon leather be- 
neath it. His knee bent gallantly to his queen, but it knelt 
reverently also to his Maker. And it was the crown of the gen- 
tleman that he was neither ashamed of the guitar nor of the 
sword; neither of the loyalty nor the prayer. For a gentleman 
is not an idler, a trifler, a dandy; he is not a scholar only, a 
soldier, a mechanic, a merchant; he is the flower of men, in 
whom the accomplishment of the scholar, the bravery of the 
soldier, the skill of the mechanic, the sagacity of the merchant, 
all have their part and appreciation. A sense of duty is his 
mainspring. " Then, going into the breadth of the subject, Mr. 
Curtis gives us one of the finest definitions of the gentleman 
ever penned — -fine both in its lofty appreciation, and also as a 
model of pure English style. Perhaps there is no one article 
in the volume more profitable for the youthful reader than this. 
Parents also should read this inspiring chapter. But 
the subject is so broad and important that it deserves a 
wider treatment and more extensive reading. The following 
articles should also be read and considered and discussed in 
the family circle^" John Wesley" and "George Washington" 
in Volume VI. These are life-sketches of two great and heroic 
gentlemen. The following poems, in Volume XI, contain 
many admirable suggestions that will help to make more clear 
this subject: "Lady Clare," "Be True," "Polonius to Laer- 
tes. " We also recommend in this connection the reading of the 



CONDUCT AND CHARACTER-BUILDING 67 

following articles in Volume X: "Lord Chesterfield's Maxims," 
" Good Manners in the Home, " and " Grumblers. ' ' In Volimie 
III there are several entertaining stories that make clear to 
litde folks some of the qualities of the true gentleman; thus 
the story entitled "Two Litde Boys" will be foimd interesting 
to them as well as to older children. 

The conception of the word "gentleman" in the Middle 
Ages and in heroic times is shown by two hero stories, or legends, 
in Volume II: "Guy of Warwick" and "Galahad and the 
Sacred Cup. " In connection with this last-named English leg- 
end the older boys and girls may profitably read the poem by 
Tennyson, in Volume XI, entitled "Sir Galahad." 

We suggest that the yoimg reader consult the definition of 
the word "gentleman" in any good dictionary, and try to ac- 
quire a fondness for frequently consulting a dictionary or ency- 
clopedia. The following quotation is worth considering: 
"George Washington in the highest sense of the word was a 
gentleman and a man of honor." 

«JC J^ fg^ 

HABITS 

MEN and women of middle age know how difficult it 
is to break a bad habit, and how easy it is to form a new 
one. A large part of the training and education of children 
consists in helping them to acquire right habits of thinking and 
doing. What is a habit ? Some one has defined it as " a tendency 
to do that which we have frequently done before. " ' When a 
man has been kind and courteous for years, it is easy to be kind 
and courteous. When a man has practised lying and decep- 
tion for years, it is almost impossible for him to be frank, truthful, 
and straightforward. 

Parents must help their children to form correct habits, and 
the first one for the litde children to form is obedience. They 
should be led to obey till obedience is easier than disobedience 
because it has become a habit. This does not mean "breaking 
the child's will, " to use an old expression. A child's will should 



58 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

never be broken, but it should be bent and molded by gende 
and yet positive measures. The child Will be better and 
happier if he is obedient to a tender and affectionate mother. 
The mother should try to be so just, so consistent, and so sym- 
pathetic that she will be worthy of trust and obedience. 

This is a large subject, and space prevents long discussion 
of its importance in child-training. How cruel it is to permit 
children to become slaves of low and debasing habits! How 
noble it is to help them by kindness, tactfulness, and firmness 
to form habits that are good and elevating! Give children plenty 
to do. Let them be always making something in which they 
are interested and in which you axe also interested. It may 
be a snow-fort or a litde house made of blocks, or a scrap-book 
made of pictures, or any one of a hundred other things that you 
will teach them to do. Encourage them to work and to plan 
things themselves. This will help them to be resourceful and 
self-reliant. Help them to acquire the habits of work, obedience, 
truthfiilness, and courage. 

If a child has three or four good habits, it will be easier for 
him to form other good habits. If he is truthful and obedient, 
it will be easier for him to be honest and courteous. If he has 
learned habits of industry and kindness, he is apt to be cheerful, 
contented and imselfish. These are some of the good habits 
to be cultivated, and cultivating good habits always helps us 
to keep out of bad habits. But evil habits like weeds will 
appear; destroy them, if you can, before they have had time 
to grow strong. When selfishness appears, help to crush it by 
encouraging the child to do unselfish acts. If the child does 
things that are cruel, train him to acts of kindness and help- 
fulness. 

Little can be said here about destroying bad habits. If 
possible, overcome and eradicate them before they become con- 
firmed. Unfortimately in this world diseases and bad habits 
are more contagious than health and good habits. What a 
vicious and depraved thing a bad habit is! It is impleasant, 
even to them of such evil habits or tendencies as lying, drinking, 
idleness, fretfulness, vanityj swearing, and a host of others. 
Parents should use "eternal vigilance" in helping their chil- 



CONDUCT AND CHARACTER-BUILDING 59 

dren to conquer or control evil tendencies before they become 
habits. 

Boys and girls, it is very important that you think about bad 
habits and how to avoid them. Perhaps the following outline 
will help you in such thinking: (i) Bad habits that injure 
health; (2) that destroy reputation; (3) that dishonor or dis- 
grace one's family; (4) that would waste money; (5) that take 
away self-control; (6) that incur needless risks, as gambling; 
(7) that are oflFensive to others. 

In this volume there axe little essays on the virtues that 
should be developed into habits. You may be much helped 
by reading the articles on Courage, Kindness, Self-control, 
Cheerfulness, Perseverance, and others. 

V* v^ v^ 

HEROISM 

HEROISM is so great and splendid a quality that it has 
not been thought too much to devote to it almost 
the whole of Volimie VII in our Library. No urging will 
be necessary to make any lively youth read this section, but first 
he should scan Mr. Eggleston's admirable Introduction, and so 
free his mind at the start from the idea that heroism means 
only an exhibition of courage in the face of some great physical 
danger — still less that it is vainglorious. Real heroes are ever 
modest; usually the only explanation they can make of their 
act is, that it seemed to them the only thing to do at the moment. 
Take, for example, the fine instance of the fisherman, in Vol- 
ume VII, page 177. The imheralded heroism of daily life — in 
the household and the office — outranks, as Henry Ward Beecher 
once declared, all that of the most memorable battlefields of his- 
tory. Washington, cold and forlorn at Valley Forge, yet immov- 
able against every discouragement that could assail a commander, 
is a more truly heroic figure than when he is seen at Princeton, 
charging mid smoke and cannon-flame upon the British batter- 
ies that have almost vanquished his wavering line. With this 
thought impressed upon the mind, no reading is more attrac- 



60 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

tive or more inspiring to the young than stories of heroism; and 
the selections oflFered in the seventh volume of the series above 
referred to are rich in thrilling incidents as well as in deeply 
important lessons. One will not find there a rule for becoming 
a hero; but if he has taken into his character the spirit por- 
trayed by the men and women in these narratives, he will need 
no rule. 

The man who faithfully does his duty in private life — it 
may be amid poverty, sickness, and disappointments — is as true 
a hero is he who dies bravely fighting on the battlefield. The 
truest courage is often manifested by women in the trials and 
difficulties of everyday home experience. The heroism of every- 
day life is much more important to the world than the heroism 
of wars and batdes. With these thoughts always in mind, read 
the following stories, poems and articles in the Library: 

In Volimie VII be sure to read carefully the following 
splendid chapters: "Everyday Heroism,'' "Heroes Who Fight 
Fire," "Heroism of Women," "The Defenders of Thermopy- 
lae," and other articles treating of all the diCFerent phases of 
heroism. In Volume VI read "Finding Livingston," by Henry 
M. Stanley; "Arctic Perils," by Dr. Kane, and the closing 
chapters on " Arctic Exploration. " Volume IX contains several 
admirable biographies of heroic men and women: we commend 
especially those of "Christopher Columbus" and "General 
Gordon." In Volume XI there are any number of stirring 
poems that relate heroic incidents, such as "Incident of 
the French Camp," " Casabianca, " "A Night with a Wolf," 
"Arnold Von Winkelried," and the stirring ballad— partly 
truth, partly fiction — that tells of the heroism of Barbara 
Frietchie. 

«ji «ii «ji 

HOME STUDY 

BOYS and girls — and their parents — should never forget 
that if they would live a full, useful, happy and success- 
ful life, they must do serious reading and actual study after their 
school days are over. Such reading and study, if vigorously 



CONDUCT AND CHARACTER-BUILDING 61 

and persistently pursued, is more important in the development 
of capable, successful, and useful men and women, than the 
lessons and tasks of school-days. The writer knows well a 
successful man of high standing, about seventy years of age, 
who has been a member of Congress, was Chairman of the 
Board of Education of New York City for many years, and is 
the honored associate of its best citizens. Incidentally, he 
has made a large fortime in business. This man attended a 
small country school for less than five years. He had no other 
school or college training. He began actual work when he 
was "bound out" to a printer at the age of thirteen. His 
salary the first year was $30. He boarded with his employer 
and in the employer's home his washing and mending was 
done free. 

On the witness-stand a cross-examiner once said to him: 

" Mr where were you educated ?" He answered : " Partly 

in a district school." "But," said the lawyer, "where was 
your education completed?" "It is not completed; it is now 
in progress. It will continue so long as I live," responded 
this wise, successful man. Home study, and study at odd 
times, go far in accoimting for his success. 

This brief story from real life illustrates the lesson we wish 
to impress on the boys and girls — and their parents. Benjamin 
Franklin, by such home study, rose from poverty and ignorance 
and became great as an author, philosopher, inventor, states- 
man, and diplomat — one of the three greatest Americans. 

In this connection it is imnecessary to mention such names 
as Abraham Lincoln, Elihu Burritt, Horace Greeley, and 
Thomas A. Edison. See their life-sketches in the Library, 
Volume IX. 

We commend most heartily studies taught at home by many 
Correspondence Schools. Through such home-correspondence 
instruction, thousands of people have increased their efiiciency, 
their usefulness, and their income. 

For home study based on the Library, and intended for 
boys and girls and their parents, we commend the following 
articles: 

The careful reading of the three departments, "Why to 



62 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

Study," "What to Study,'' "How to Study,'' in Volume X; 
and especially the following articles in this volume: "Why 
Men should Study Shakespeare," by Prof. C. A. Smith; "The 
Study of Poetry" and the "Study of the Novel," by Prof. 
F. H. Stoddard of the New York University; "How Shall we 
Leam to Think?" by Eliza Chester; "Home Study," by the 
late President Harper of Chicago University; and "The Art 
of Reading," by Hamilton Wright Mabie. 

If the boy or girl is interested in music or art. Volume XII 
will prove instructive and stimulating. Upward of one himdred 
and fifty songs are given therein together with articles on piano- 
playing and singing by Mark Hambourg and Madame Mar- 
chesi; the art section contains a succinct accoimt of artists 
and their works which is liberally illustrated with reproductions 
of great paintings. 

«^ «5* «^ 

HONESTY 

AN honest man's the noblest work of God." 
This sentence was written by a famous English 
poet. Do you believe it ? Do you fully imderstand it ? Who 
wrote it? If it be true, then honesty must be a great and 
splendid quality. It must mean something more than financial 
honesty — something more than the avoidance of cheating and 
the paying of debts. 

Boys and girls, will you not carefully consider the meaning 
of the word "honesty." Think about it and try to recall all 
you have read about it — then consult your dictionary for the 
definition of the word. You will find in the definition such 
words as "sincerity," "honor," "uprightness," "integrity." 
Honesty means all that is expressed by these words, and more. 
Perhaps we might profitably consider it along the following 
lines: 

First: The honest man or boy does not cheat. He pays 
all honest debts. He does not buy things imless he is sure he 
can pay for them. He practises economy and works faith- 
fully in order that he may cheat no one. 



CONDUCT AND CHARACTER-BUILDING 63 

Second: The honest man or boy does not deceive. He 
doesn't make believe he is studying when he is not. He doesn't 
give to his teacher some other boy's solution of a problem pre- 
tending that it is his own. He doesn't tell his parents by words 
or by actions that he is studying faithfully when he is loafing 
or playing truant. It is possible for him to deceive his teachers 
and his parents, but if he does he is only laying the foundation 
for habits of indolence and deception that will retard or pre- 
vent his success when he becomes a man. An honest man in 
business or professional life does not deceive. He does not 
put groimd g3rpsum in flour, or glucose in honey. He doesn't 
put the largest strawberries on the top of the basket to conceal 
the green or decaying ones at the bottom. He doesn't wear 
false plumage by preaching another's sermon or delivering 
another's speech as his own. He is true to himself and false to 
no man. 

Third: The honest boy is truthful. He neither tells a lie, 
nor acts a lie. He is upright in all his words and actions. 
He is not so mean as to impose on any one by a falsehood. 
He is above practising a cheat in word or deed. Truth he 
values more than money and neither bribes nor threats can 
make him depart from it. 

Fourth: The honest boy has a conscience and he follows 
this "inward light." That boy was honest who, when asked 
why he did not pocket some pears (for nobody was there to 
see), replied: "Yes, there was. I was there to see myself; 
and I do not intend ever to see myself do a dishonest thing." 

Fifth : The honest boy does not need watching. He studies 
a little harder and behaves a little better when the teacher is 
absent from the room than when she is present. He does 
conscientious work whether the "boss" is present or absent. 
He puts "high quality" into his work. He remembers not 
only that "the gods see everywhere" but "A^ is there to see." 
Such a boy, when he goes away from home, will not forget the 
teachings of his mother. 

Sixth: The honest boy keeps his promise to himself as well 
as to others. He doesn't deceive himself. If he does wrong 
he doesn't try to convince himself that he is doing right. If he 



64 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

resolves to do faithful work, he forces himself to make good 
his resolution. If he promises himself to take a certain amoimt 
of exercise, or to do a specific amount of studying, he does it 
though it be not a task imposed by parent or teacher. Thus, 
by force of will, he learns to be honest to himself and at the 
same time he is learning the great lesson of self-control. Hon- 
esty is always right and "honesty is the best policy." 

In this connection you might read again the little chapters 
in this volume on "Work" "Perseverance" and "The Gentle- 
man," and in the Library the following articles, stories, and 
poems contain lessons of honesty and faithfulness: "For a' 
That and a' That," Volume I; "Trial," and "Amendment," 
Volume III; "Reynard the Fox," Volume IV; and "Political 
Dishonesty," Volume VII. Several of the biographies of 
great men, like Washington and Lincoln in Volume IX, should 
be inspiring. 

v^ v^ v^ 

HONOR* 

THIS is a large and important subject. It cannot be 
adequately discussed in a brief article. We shall give 
only a few suggestions and then attempt to blaze the way for 
your fuller consideration and investigation. 

First think of the word honor. Have you a clear idea 
of the meaning of the word ? Enlarge that idea by reading and 
re-reading the definition in a good dictionary. You will find 
that "honor" is related to a large family of great and good 
words, among which are honesty, character, love, respect, and 
courtesy. 

Now read the following questions and hints, but take them 
up for greater thought and consideration day by day, as you 
are pondering over this subject: 

What is honor? Should honor be cultivated? Does it 
help to make a strong character or a weak one? What is 
character? What is reputation? Which would you rather 

♦Nearly all of this little essay was taken from an article by Jane Brownlee, 
an eminent and successful teacher, of Toledo, Ohio. 



CONDUCT AND CHARACTER-BUILDING 65 

have, a fine reputation or a fine character? How can you 
build character? How can you develop honor in your home 
relations? How in school? Do you think you must work 
for honor, or will it develop easily and without effort on your 
part? Do you think the things in life really worth having are 
gained with or without striving? Do you think the attainment 
of honor is desirable? Does it pay in business relations? 
How hard are you willing to work that you may possess it? 

If you are "honor boys and girls" will you study when your 
teacher is absent firom the school-room just as vigorously as when 
she is present? Will you carefully do work as requested by 
your mother when she is absent, the same as if she were present ? 
Will you faithfully study during the allotted time for prepara- 
tion of a certain lesson, or will you "dawdle'' the time away? 

Let us look at this subject from another standpoint. Parents 
should remember, and children should be taught, that every 
manufactured article is produced at a cost of labor, time, and 
money, and should be used with care whether the article belongs 
to them or to another. If text books are furnished free of 
cost, pupils must understand that while free of cost to them, 
they are not so to the tax-payers, and they must show apprecia- 
tion by a desire to pass them on to their successors in good 
condition. Destructiveness in childhood is chiefly due to 
thoughtlessness, and unless corrected will lead to shiftlessness. 
Landlords might cease to be victims to a class of tenants who 
say: "We don't care anything about this house, you know; 
it is only rented," if children were given such teaching in school. 

Boys and girls, a true sense of honor will lead you to consider 
the rights of others, the proper conduct toward them. By 
"others" we mean parents, teachers, companions, servants, 
strangers, janitors, and everybody with whom you come in 
contact. But the space given to us for this article will permit us 
only to help you in considering how "honor boys and girls" 
will regard the rights of parents and teachers. 

What are the rights of parents? To your love, courtesy and 
respect; to your ready and cheerful obedience; to your help- 
fulness, because every child should have some work to do in 
the home that would add to the comfort of all; to the care of 



66 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

your clothing that additional burdens may not be laid upon 
your parents. 

What are the rights of teachers? To your courtesy and 
respect; to your cheerful and ready obedience; to your co- 
operation to make the school the best possible; to expect 
honor and honesty in the preparation of daily work; to expect 
that you be pimctual and regular in attendance; to pleasant, 
kind, obliging, helpful ways on your part. 

By such an attitude toward parents and teacher, the children 
are building character of the right sort and in the end will 
receive more than they give. 

"Honor" contains only five letters, but it is a great big word. 
Will you not think of it every day? 

Almost any of the stories of famous men and women in the 
Library demonstrate this principle. But we recommend to 
youthful readers the following: "Dorigen" in Volume III, 
and "The Judgment of Tamenimd" in Volume IV, both ex- 
cellent tales; also "Tom's First Half -Year at Rugby" in the 
latter volume. For a supreme example of personal honor 
read "Scott in Adversity," in Volume VII. Memorize the 
words of "Polonius to Laertes," in Volume XI, and keep 
them ever in mind. One should be able to repeat "To Lucasta 
on Going to the Wars" in the same volume. 

V* t^V f^V 

HUMOR 

PARENTS should cultivate the love of humor in their 
children. Encourage them in their attempts at wit 
and harmless nonsense. The attempt may be a very poor 
one from your standpoint, but still you should show hearty 
appreciation and encouragement. A sense of the ridiculous, 
a disposition to see the bright and amusing side of things will 
carry the boy over many rough places when he becomes a 
man. Help him all you can to start right in this respect. 

Give the children plenty of comic toys. Tell to them and 
read to them funny nursery rhsrmes and laughable little stories. 



CONDUCT AND CHARACTER-BUILDING 67 

Show them comic pictures. Later on they should be encouraged 
to read and to tell humorous stories that they have read or 
heard. Story-telling by children helps amazingly in mental 
development. 

"Remember always that good, honest, hearty laughter helps 
to cure physical and mental ills. It puts the mind as well as 
the body in a more wholesome condition. 

What a blessing in the home and in society is the man or 
woman who can easily be amused, who can amuse others, and 
whose sense of humor, like charity, "never fails." 

To the very little children read and tell the nursery rhymes 
and nursery tales in Volume I of the Library; among the latter 
we call particular attention to "Chicken-Licken," "The 
Mouse and the Sausage," "Teeny Tiny," and "The Three 
Little Pigs." In the poetry divisions of that volume turn to 
"The Owl and the Pussy-Cat," "The Table and the Chair," 
"A Lobster Quadrille," and "Limericks." As the children 
grow older they will find plenty of fim in the " Fairy Tales and 
Laughter Stories" division of Volume I, especially "The 
Husband Who was to Mind the House," "The Musicians of 
Bremen," "The Three Sillies," "Hudden and Dudden and 
Donald O'Neary," and "The Story of Caliph Stork." In 
Volume II read "The Jellyfish and the Monkey," "Hiawatha," 
and "Robin Hood." One of the finest of all funny tales is 
"Don Quixote" in Volume III; then in Volume IV we have 
"A Mad Tea-Party," "Brother Rabbit's Cradle," and "Among 
the Lions of Algiers. " Over one himdred pages in Volume X 
are given up to amusements — games, riddles, little plays, etc., 
and there is a " Fun and Laughter" division of poems in Volume 
XI. Finally, in Volume XII are niunerous nursery and non- 
sense songs. 

Jm J^ J^ 

IMAGINATION 

IMAGINATION is that power in the mind by which we 
are able to realize facts and comprehend ideas: it is 
creative thinking, or ideality. By its aid we reconstruct the 



68 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

pictures of memory, and, looking forward realize some new 
fact or thought or forecast. It is perhaps the most active and 
useful agent of the intellect, and is particularly free and vivid 
in young children, whose minds are imcrowded with impres- 
sions, who are looking at a new world with eager curiosity, and 
endeavoring to supply their lack of knowledge by structures of 
fancy. The diflference between the bright, quick-witted child 
and the slow, stupid one usually lies in the greater or less activity 
of the imaginative faculty. 

It is easy to see what a very important part imagination must 
serve in acquiring knowledge, and how constantly it should be 
appealed to by parent and teacher in both study and discipline. 
No door opens to interest so broadly as through the imagination 
— the pleasing instrumentality of the picturesque; no entrance 
to the heart and moral feelings is so direct. The very means 
of instruction, whether spoken or written, demand its assistance, 
for the words we use are only symbols, representing mind- 
pictures, as anciently they did painted ones; and no one can 
fully imderstand ideas imless he can realize the thing for which 
each symbol-word stands. 

For these and other reasons, the young should cultivate 
theu: power of imagination, but control and train it by reason 
based upon facts. It was such control that made it possible 
for the great generalizations of science, such as those of Newton, 
Agassiz, and Darwin, to be formulated. Certain studies 
especially call for it — geography and geometry, for examples. 
A morning walk across the coimtry, with its display in miniature 
of moimtains and valleys, its lakes and rivers, showing along their 
courses islands, capes, peninsulas, and so forth, will give a 
child a better idea of the terms in geography, and of the action 
of the elements in producing the landscape, than a long series 
of book-lessons. Reading becomes enjoyable and profitable 
in proportion as it stimulates and feeds the imagination with 
new facts and novel ideas. 

Here is the great value of museiuns to children. When, for 
instance, a boy or girl sees an actual war-chariot, such as that 
ancient one exhibited in the Metropolitan Museum of Art in 
New York, how new and vivid are the pictures he is able to 



CONDUCT AND CHARACTER-BUILDING 69 

make in his mind's eye of the scenes of Roman or Greek history — • 
of Achilles dragging Hector around the walls of Troy, or of the 
triumph of a general parading along the Imperial Way in 
Rome! How real are the deeds of the vikings, when one sees 
that old Norse ship in the Field Museum in Chicago! 

It is by imagination, based upon observation, that we extend 
our knowledge; and our little ones begin this process of self- 
education long before their games become a matter of skill and 
strength. The amusements of little children are, in fact, 
almost wholly imaginative. Their fancy ranges free from the 
trammels of self-consciousness or experience, and lets them 
surroimd themselves with delightful images, changing with the 
rapidity and inconstancy of a dream. Few materials are 
required. The same rag doll is now a boy, then a girl, or a 
yoimg baby, or the mother of another poor little effigy, and 
each time the siuroimdings change in the child's fancy to fit 
the new personality, with the ease of a turned kaleidoscope. 

Children do not hesitate to transform pla3miates, or even 
themselves, into unrealities (real enough, however, to them); 
and little girls sometimes invent a purely imaginary playmate, 
give her a name, and for weeks together talk and play with 
her, reporting daily what she does, says, and thinks. 

Now out of these infantile fancies, enlarged and regulated 
by culture, come the songs of the poets, the compositions in 
music and the other arts, and the bold flights of science, in- 
vention, and commerce; so that it is a faculty well worth culti- 
vation. 

Imagination is, in truth, the mother of ambition and its 
success. By it the mind pictures the future and forces the 
results of energy and perseverance applied to a certain end. 
The goal and its rewards are vividly pictured, and also the 
difficulties which a brave man considers only long enough to 
defeat. Without imagination no creative work could ever 
be accomplished, or good cause advanced. Plainly, it is 
worth while to nourish such a well-spring of energy and bring 
it under control, for its best work is done in the harness of 
judgment and reason. 

Of course Volume I of the Library is a treasure-house of happy 



/\ 



70 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

imagination, but we want to refer to a few special examples, 
such as "Cinderella," "Why the Bear Has a Stumpy Tail," 
"The Land of Coimterpane, " "The Unseen Pla)nnate," 
"Puss in Boots," "The Land of Story-Books," and "The 
Hardy Tin Soldier." Every child should know these and their 
fellows. In Voliune II we see wonderful imagination at work 
in stories like "Proserpina," "Baldur," "The Star-Lovers," 
"Perseus," "Siegfried," and other myths. Little folks will 
revel in "Gulliver's Travels," and "The Tempest," in Volume 
III, as works of great imaginative power. The same can be 
said for "Undine," "Rip Van Winkle," and "The Snow- 
Image" in Volume IV. And there is all of Volume XI, " Golden 
Hours with the Poets," and Volume XII, "Music and the Fine 
Arts," to enthrall the attention and quicken the ready imagina- 
tion of children old and yoimg. 

«^ «^ «^ 
IMITATION AND EMULATION 

PROBABLY the first act of the infant not wholly in- 
stinctive is imitative. At first it seems involuntary, like 
our disposition to yawn when we see another yawning, but 
later, as it sees more distinctly, and gets stronger, it tries to copy 
the actions of others; and by this road learns to do, one by one, 
the little acts of its daily life. So it begins its education — self- 
teaching. Soon it advances to the point where it shows that 
it takes pleasure in its attempts at imitation, and begins to try 
to do what it notices others doing, just to see whether it can. 
Imitation next rises from mere material things to manners, 
speech, and ideas. The faculty varies, of course, with the 
children, but in all it is the essential factor in early education, 
and one which should be carefully heeded. Observe that chil- 
dren brought up in a group of brothers and sisters are as a rule 
quicker and less troublesome than those alone in the family; 
and that a school is in general better for a yoimgster than a 
private tutor. Children learn from the people aroimd them 
more than from books. Hence the need of guarding against 



CONDUCT AND CHARACTER-BUILDING 71 

those *'evil communications which corrupt good manners/' 
The responsibility this places upon the parent is plain to be 
seen. It is of the utmost importance that the speech, the 
manners, the kindness, the personal and home- virtues generally, 
from which the child gets its first impressions and earliest habits, 
shall be of the best: in short, that the models it imitates so close- 
ly and indiscriminately shall be good. 

Fortimate, indeed, is the child whose parents do the right 
things before it, and oflFer examples that are worthy of emulation. 
Next in importance are the characters set before them in books. 
The world's greatest and noblest experiences have been pre- 
served to us in our best literature. Read to your children the 
accoimts of the lives of the men and women you wish them to 
emulate. This will do more for them than all the sermons you 
can preach or the moral advice you can give. Plant in the 
hearts of the children the desire to be like the good and great, 
and encourage them daily with the thought that they are going 
to be good and great, and they will "arrive" in time. 

In literature as in life children will find good examples to 
follow and evil ones to shun. It is an excellent plan for them 
after reading a story or poem, to tell what impressed them as 
worthy of emulation. Parents should utilize the references in 
this volume imder the quality they desire to develop in their 
children — "Courage," "Ambition," "Generosity," etp., etc. 
Perhaps special attention might be given the talk on "Friend- 
ship." Senseless imitation may be foimd in "The Vain Jack- 
daw," "The Mouse and the Sausage," and "The Ass and the 
Watchdog" in Volume I, and a clever mimic is "The Pet Star- 
ling," Volume IV. That volume also contains Dr. Hale's 
entertaining tale, "My Double and How He Undid Me." 

«^ «^ v^ 

INDUSTRY 
(See "Appucation, " "Perseverance," and "Work.") 

v^ ^ 4^ 

INVESTIGATION 
{See "Curiosity," "Reading," and "Observation,") 



72 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 



KINDNESS* 

BOYS and girls — or rather girls and boys — don't read 
this chapter on kindness until you have thought about 
the word and its meaning for at least four minutes, and read the 
definition of it in a dictionary. Perhaps you think you know 
what kindness really means — but you don't unless you have 
read the definition of the word in the dictionary, and thought 
about it, and talked about it, and practised it for many, many 
days. You cannot learn to swim by reading about it, and you 
cannot leam kindness by reading about it. To leam either in 
any true sense you must practise. If you have been sour and 
disagreeable and " sassy, " you cannot be kind all day and every 
day until you have tried and tried and tried. Skilful skating 
and true kindness only come by thought and practice. One of 
the sweetest and kindest beings we ever knew was a woman 
nearly eighty years of age. She had been practising this splendid 
art for nearly eighty years. Think of it — the art of kindness! 
It is an art to be learned like that of conversation, or the art of 
speaking clearly. 

After first thinking about kindness and looking in a dictionary 
for the definition of it, I would then divide it into four parts 
and consider each part separately. 

First: kindness to parents — the children's best friends. 

Second: kindness to teachers, the next best friends of the 
children. 

Third: kindness to brothers, sisters, companions, and the 
world in general. 

Fourth: kindness to animals. 

If you, my imknown and imseen readers, were now with me 
in my little library and I should ask you why your parents were 
your best friends, you would all want to speak at once and say: 
"They give us food, clothes, a bed"; "They work for us"; and 
then" some litde girl would give the highest and best reason of 
all— "They love us." 

*AI1 the best thought in this little chapter is taken from an admirable article 
by Jane Brownlee, in the "Report of the National Congress of Mothers" fox 
1908. 



CONDUCT AND CHARACTER-BUILDING 73 

First: I wish, girls and boys, that space would permit me 
to tell you how to show your love for your parents — by kind 
words, kind thoughts, and kind deeds — ^but you must work 
out these thoughts for yourselves. 

Second: You can show kindness to your teacher by yield- 
ing cheerfully to obedience, by doing your best in your studies, 
by being orderly, imselfish, and courteous, and in many other 
ways that you can think of a great deal better than I can, be- 
cause my school days ended nearly forty years ago. 

Thhrd: Boys and girls, I am going to ask you to think of 
six ways by which you can show kindness to companions. 
Won't you write them out and send them to me? 

Fourth: I believe that every boy and girl that I am talk- 
ing to, loves animals. I am sure every girl does. If any boy 
who is reading this little chapter is cruel to animals, I don't want 
to talk to him, even in imagination. He must answer these 
questions carefully, or I shall not permit him to be in my class: 
If you saw a little bird on the grass beaten from its nest by a 
heavy storm, what would you do? If you saw a lot of boys 
stoning a cat, or if you saw a horse beaten when it was doing 
all it could — ^what would you think? What would you say? 
What would you do ? 

Answer these questions according to your own sense of 
right and wrong. Boys and girls, won't you think about these 
things? The following articles in our Library will help you 
to think about one, two and three: "Little Things," "Song 
of Life," and "Mabel on Midsummer Day," in Volume I; 
"Baucis and Philemon," and "Robin Hood, "in Volume II; 
"Two Little Boys, " and" Simple Susan, " in Volume III; "The 
Monkey's Revenge," and "The King of the Golden River," 
in Voliune IV; "Rajah Brooke of Sarawak," and "Lydia 
Maria Child," in Volume IX; "Hints for Happiness," and 
"A Spirit of Love, " in Volume X; and " The Deserted ViUage" 
and "The Blue and the Gray," in Volume XL 

After you have thought about number four, read the 
following stories, poems, and chapters about animals in the 
Library: "Kindness," and "If Ever I See," in Volimie I; 
"The King of the Trout-stream," "The Homesickness of 



74 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

Kehonka," "The Story of a Homer," and "The Adventures 
of a Loon," in Volume IV; "The Rodent Animals" (chapter 
xiv) and "Our Wicked Waste of Life," in Volume V; and 
"Cruelty to Animals," in Volume XL 

«^ «5* «^ 
LOYALTY 

LOYALTY must be regarded as one of the most pleasing 
as well as most essential attributes of a fine character, 
and it is as endearing in the youth as in the person of maturer 
years and greater trusts. It means standing by what seems 
good, for sticking to a wrong position is mere obstinacy. It is 
well that this should be made clear to the child as soon as an 
occasion presents itself, for sometimes a boy will persist in 
defending a playmate who he knows is in the wrong, or in 
upholding a cause that he now knows is not as good as he once 
thought it. Loyalty, then, is the virtue of firmly standing 
by what one believes in, in the face of detraction or assault. It 
implies the very soul of honesty, and may cost self-sacrifice. It 
also implies endurance. A boy is loyal to his ball-team when he 
cheerfully takes the part his captain decides best fitted for him 
whether or not he likes it best, and then plays to win success for 
the team, not with an eye first on applause for himself.' A 
girl is loyal to her home when she lets no one speak slightingly 
of it, and keeps silent regarding the little defects of education 
or management which she may observe, because she has had 
advantages superior to those her parents enjoyed. She is 
equally loyal when she quietly does all she can to remedy the 
defects, and improve matters for the benefit of the family. 
Loyalty to an employer is shown by working for him as faith- 
fully as you would for yourself, watchful of his interests, economi- 
cal, secret as to his business, etc.; but if his service should lead 
to conniving at fraud, or other violation of good principles, then 
loyalty to yourself requires you to quit his service. 

This term seems to many to refer altogether to standing by 
one's country, and this is truly a very important field for loyal 



CONDUCT AND CHARACTER-BUILDING 75 

ideas and acts; but those who in time of peace earnestly strive 
to improve the welfare of the people by criticising, or even 
opposing, measures of the government which they consider 
injurious, are acting as truly loyal a part as those who fight 
for the flag in war. 

The teaching this virtue of loyalty to a child enforces the 
necessity in the parent to give him principles, and guide him 
into situations, which are worthy of support. Only thus can the 
sense of loyalty which is to be inspired have a firm basis. 

Under "Courage" in this department the reader may find 
a number of references which bear upon the present quality. 
Additional to these we suggest the following: "The White 
Stone Canoe," "Llewellyn and His Dog," and "Beauty and 
the Beast, "in Volume I; " Pyramus and Thisbe, " "Orpheus," 
and "The Star Lovers" in Voliune II; "Dorigen" and parts 
of the "Iliad" in Volume III; and "The Judgment of Tame- 
nund" in Volume IV. Many biographies of the "Soldiers and 
Statesmen" section in Volume IX will prove of great value. 

Jm J^ Jm 

MANLINESS 
(See "The Gentleman," and "Chivalry.") 

Jm J^ J^ 

MANNERS 

IF one would learn something of the home from which a 
child comes, all that is necessary is to watch him at play 
and listen to him. If he habitually says "please," and "thank 
you," if he refrains from interrupting, if he does not squabble 
and contradict, if he is unselfish, it is easy to see that he comes 
from a family where good breeding reigns. Rudeness at once 
shows a coarse home life, and ingrained vulgarity obtrudes 
itself through the veneer of politeness. Good manners cannot 
be put on and oflf at will; they are a growth, and many a baby 
has them in his degree, while many a man or woman never 
acquires them in threescore years and ten. 



76 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

Sometimes it seems as though a boy were bom careless. 
He naturally forgets to wipe his muddy feet, to shut the outer 
door, to put away his books and cap. It is really essential to 
say "Don't" to him, for these and many other shortcomings, 
no less than a thousand times before he learns to correct them. 
But the "Donets" must be said with tact, lest they become 
nagging, and nagging is almost worse than anything else in the 
world. He must be told good-naturedly, with humor and 
wisdom, with small penalties, with appeals to his generosity, 
with emphasis on his growing manliness, never with fretful 
complaints of his forgetfulness, or unpleasant comments on 
the ways of boys in general. 

Often when a child has bad table-manners — as most chil- 
dren have — a parent will say: "Rather than have our family 
meals spoiled by constant correction, we will put up with his 
ways; when he is older he will correct them himself." But 
this is a short-sighted and selfish policy. Later in life bad 
table-manners are hard to correct. It is always necessary to 
train a child to eat properly when he is yoimg, if he is to learn at 
all, even though it is a long and tedious process. 

A boy should be carefully trained in gentleness toward his 
mother and sisters. He should give his mother a chau: when 
she enters the room, and open the door for her when she goes 
out; he should remember her wants at the table, and rim up 
and down stairs for her. He should carry bimdles for his 
sisters and bring them home in the evening, and regard their 
wishes rather than his own. Those wise old words, " Manners 
makyeth man, " should be instilled into him so that the outward 
courtesies of life shall seem to him of genuine importance. 

Appealing to the ideal of courtesy helps a child to acquire 
the virtue. The life of Sir Philip Sidney, that "fine flower of' 
courtesy," is a revelation to a boy; Sir Walter Raleigh and the 
knights of his time; the stories of castle-life in the Middle 
Ages, and of the little pages and their duties; the biographies 
of great men who did not despise the little politenesses of life 
while they were also doing the great things; all these give 
children an inspiration toward good manners in the best 
sense. 



CONDUCT AND CHARACTER-BUILDING 77 

Good manners, in the best sense of the term, are outward 
manifestations of a kindly disposition. "The outward forms 
the inner man reveal." "Love doth not behave itself unseem- 
ly." It has often been remarked that the essentials of good 
manners are the same in a true gentleman whether he be a 
Japanese, or Turk, or German. Any man or boy who really 
desires to make those around him happy, who tries to scatter 
simshine, and who thinks, will acquire pleasant manners. It 
must not be forgotten that the kindly word and the considerate 
and cheering act are the result of thought as well as of feeling. 

There is a practical side to this subject that wise parents 
will not forget in training their children. The man possessed 
of good manners, other things being equal, succeeds better in 
business or in professional life than the man whose conduct 
and bearing are not pleasing. Many a doctor or minister with 
good manners has reached fame or high position when men 
more industrious as well as more scholarly, but wanting at- 
tractive manners, have remained in obsciurity. 

In this little essay we can give only a few thoughts on a great 
subject. It is for you, unseen reader, to pursue the topic 
further. Some one, writing a comprehensive essay on "Man- 
ners," arranged the subject imder nine divisions, and you might 
write a brief essay on each of them, even as George Washington, 
when a mere boy, wrote his famous rules of "Behavior." 

The nine divisions above referred to are as follows: (i) 
"At Home"; (2) "In School"; (3) "In Company"; (4) 
"When a Visitor or Guest"; (5) "In Public Assemblies"; (6) 
" Salutations on the Street"; (7) "Politeness to Strangers"; (8) 
"Trifling in Serious Matters to Be Avoided"; (9) "Obscene, 
Profane, and Vulgar Language to Be Avoided." 

To help you in "thinking out" your own rules of behavior, 
we suggest the following articles in Volume X of the Library: 
"Hints for Happiness," "Disagreeable Children," "A Courteous 
Mother," "How to Entertain a Guest," "An Agreeable Guest," 
"Manners in the Home" and " Good Taste in Dress. " 

Many stories and poems have a direct bearing on outward 
behavior as well as on the inward feelings from which good 
manners spring. Youngest readers may read with great 



78 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

profit the following in Volume I: "Pretty Cow," "Good 
Night and Good Morning," "Toads and Diamonds," and 
"The Haughty Princess." In Volume III turn to "The 
Oyster Patties" and "Simple Susan." In Volume IV see 
"The Monkey's Revenge. " For old and yoimg we recommend 
the biography of "Sir Philip Sidney" in Voliune VII. 

JH J» Jfi 

MEMORY-TRAINING 

IT was one of my small nephews — ^by adoption — -who first 
set me to thinking deeply on the subject of memory-training. 
I came upon the small chap crying bitterly in an out-of-the-way 
corner of his father's boat-house. He had been publicly 
dubbed a "dimce" by teachers, stood in the comer with a 
paper cap on his head, while the other children gleefully pointed 
fingers and shouted "Foolscap! Foolscap!" 

"Am I a dimce. Uncle Nat? Do you think I'm ever going 
to 'moimt to anything, just because I can't recite my lessons 
like the other boys? I study and study — but in class my re- 
memberer just shuts up. " 

The boy was far from being a dunce. I knew him for a 
bright, active child, who in those days before nature-study had 
become the vogue, knew every bird and flower and tree by name. 
He had a passion for the water, and there was not a part of his 
father's fishing-schooners that he could not describe. There was 
no trouble with his "rememberer" where his interest was aroused. 

Psychology for the school-room was then in its infancy. 
Froebel's symbolic songs and games had not trained children 
to quick, accurate observation, and easy, because unconscious, 
memorizing. Boys and girls were still taught in blocks rather 
than as units. Johnny's irritated teacher, and worried, dis- 
couraged mother, actually thought him stupid. I thought 
otherwise and determined to prove that his lack of verbal 
memory was due to bad teaching and unaroused ambition. 

Verbal memorizing was not yet thought out-of-date ped- 
agogics. The revulsion against treating the mind as a receptacle 



CONDUCT AND CHARACTER-BUILDING 79 

in which facts were to be pushed by parrot-like repetition has 
caused many modem instructors to go to the other extreme and 
despise learning things by heart. I was glad to hear so author- 
itative an educator as William James declare: "The reaction 
against verbal memorizing has been imduly strong. Verbal 
material is, on the whole, the handiest and most useful material 
in which thinking can be carried on. Abstract conceptions are 
far and away the most economical instruments of thought, and 
abstract conceptions are fixed and incarnated for us in words. " 
"Johnny," I said, "I believe you only think you cannot 
remember. You are going out sailing with the skipper to- 
morrow; let's see if you cannot surprise him by reciting 'The 
Sailor's Rule of the Road.' See how quickly you can learn 
this verse that will help you to steer a ship: 



(( ( 



Both side lines you see ahead, 

Port your helm and show your red, 

Green to green and red to red, 

Perfect safety. Go ahead. 

If on your starboard red appear. 

It's your duty to keep clear, 

To act with judgment think it proper, 

To port or starboard, back, or stop her. 

Both in safety, but in doubt. 

Always keep a good lookout 

In danger with no room to turn, 

Ease her, turn her, go astern. ' " 

It was a revelation to both of us how quickly the "bad 
rememberer" gripped that technical jingle. It proved my 
theory, that one must care enough for a result to attain it. Try 
it on your boat-loving boys, you mothers who worry over their 
bad memories. 

What can the mother do in the training line when her boys 
and girls have bad memories? Arouse their interest, stimulate 
their pride, and help them through games and other unconscious 
influences. There are children who would make no efifort to 
improve if the motive were suspected, who show steady progress 
when the bait is temptingly disguised. 

There are undoubted diflFerences in the memory of children. 
Some are " bom poor, " others are made so by improper educa- 
tion, and Nature has to bear the brunt. To start life's race 
with a quick, retentive memory promises an imhandicapped run. 



80 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

Mothers can be a big help in memory-training — even busy 
mothers. They need no great equipment beyond common 
sense. This should teach them that memory must be economized 
— there are things that are important to remember, other things 
are as well forgotten: that a hodgepodge of imclassij&ed, un- 
assimilated facts never yet strengthened memory; that slow and 
sure is a good motto in memorizing; that learning by heart 
must have a backing of ideas if it be not parrot-like. 

Memorizing of good poetry should be made a pleasure, not 
a task to be dreaded. Begin with short quotations — those that 
tell a story are best for the young — go on to short poems and 
finally, the hardest to remember, prose. Make the committing 
a sort of contest, in which parents and children join. Perhaps 
there is a special hour, when the family is gathered together, 
which can be given over to recitations, with a system of awards. 
If the boys and girls can remember better than father or mother 
they will be delighted. 

There should be no force-work nor sense of obligation. 
Learn for all time. Arrange for a gala memory-day every 
month, when all the old poems will be rehearsed, no one knowing 
which he will be called upon to recite. One American school 
devotes a school-year to committing the poems of a single poet, 
taking a new one the next year. Modifications of this plan 
could be adopted in the home. 

Another excellent memory-stimt, as our boys would call it, 
is to have some one read a paragraph aloud to a circle of children 
and see who can repeat it most correctly. Or a story could be 
rapidly read, each child to give a full s)mopsis, sometimes 
verbally, again in writing. It is a help, if a child has trouble 
in memorizing, to write the difficult bit out. 

In all this memorizing everything depends upon the mother's 
power to interest and make it seem "fim." 

When memory-culture must depend on games, those old- 
fashioned ones of "The Minister's Cat" and "The School- 
master" are amusing and good training. The latter is particu- 
larly valuable. Similar games could be arranged for any pur- 
suit or study in which the children are interested. 

Adapt the observation-games used by the Japanese schools 



CONDUCT AND CHARACTER-BUILDING 81 

with such telling effect. Trays are brought to the children 
j&Ued with a number of familiar articles. At first there may be 
fewer things on the tray and more time given to it, gradually 
the order is reversed, until finally the children are merely al- 
lowed to glance at a tray crowded with several hundred articles, 
yet are expected to repeat what is on it. Mother- wit can suggest 
many ways of making this profitable to children of all ages. 

Have another game called "The Seeing Eye," to be played 
when out for a walk with children. In passing a store window 
glance in it and see how many things each one can remember 
later. Or when the yoimgsters are out alone, devote a few 
minutes at the close of the day to have each one recall what 
he has seen. This is good training for the heedless child, 
especially if he has brothers and sisters who are keen observers. 
Agassiz knew the value of it when he would tell his pupils to go 
out and use their eyes — keeping secret from them what he 
wanted them to see particularly. 

Get the children interested in plays; waiting for cues is 
splendid memory-drill. If the mother could write these plays 
herself, giving them a personal touch, so much the better. 
Puppet-plays, or those for marionettes, or paper dolls, are less 
trouble and quite as good training. Monologues for children 
are also valuable. 

If a child's memory is very bad it might be permitted to keep 
lists for a time. Each article should be numbered and memorized. 
Often a missing fact is recalled by connecting it with the number. 
In the same way, keeping accounts and making them balance 
at the end of a day or week is good for the memory if one has 
not the habit of jotting down each expenditure as made. Or the 
bad habit of letting a journal or line-a-day book lapse for a 
week or month will give the memory work. If one goes back- 
ward over the days, most of the salient doings will be recalled. 

Who of us does not recall Mrs. Whitney's Bobby and his 
famous buttons? That yoimgster's "forgetter" was helped 
by being taught to remember his errand by his buttons. In 
similar ways mothers can train children to recollect by associa- 
tion of ideas. 

Mothers have a great part to play in developing a faculty 



82 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

on which may depend a child's success through life. Do not 
think it too much trouble to strengthen your child's memory 
in every way; and do not overlook the value of trifling every- 
day things in this task. Mere seeming trifles often coimt more 
than the most elaborate systems of memorizing studied by the 
child in after years, when the handicap of a poor memory is 
realized. 

" Nursery Rhymes " in Volume I of the Library, and " Nurs- 
ery Songs" in Volume XII are the first splendid aids to memory- 
training in the little folks. Parents should encourage them 
to learn all the selections. As special tests encourage the 
youngsters to learn "Chicken-Licken," "Teeny Tiny," "Titty 
Mouse and Tatty Mouse," and "A was an Ant" in Volume I. 
Of course the departments of "Indoor Games and "Little 
Plays" in Volume X will be also of the greatest help in training 
the growing memory. And one of the best verbal treasures 
to possess for the older boy or girl is "The Deserted Village" 
(Volimie XI), and both subject and treatment are most charming 
to the juvenile mind. Maturer readers are advised to consult 
"How Shall We Learn to Remember?" and the section "How 
to Read" in Volume X. 



MISCHIEF 

INFANTS have no sense of the value of things, or that 
form and structure are necessary to their purpose. A baby 
will pick a rose to pieces or smash a toy simply for the sake of 
doing something, following that impulse for muscular activity 
which is nature's primary education. A year or two later 
curiosity, still imguided by judgment, leads him to tear open 
everything he can handle, "to see the wheels go 'round," as 
the phrase is — that is, to discover how the thing is made and 
does its work. Such destructiveness should be restrained. 
It does the child no good to tear books or pound his miniature 
wagon to fragments. At the same time it is foolish to give the 
little mischief-maker your watch or anything else of value tQ 



CONDUCT AND CHARACTER-BUILDING 83 

play with, for he is slow to leam. Show him, as he grows 
older, that when he breaks a toy he ends the amusement to be had 
from it, and gradually he will get the idea and become careful. 

Yet some children seem to carry with them for years a 
carelessness of property, which is most annoying and expensive 
to everybody concerned, themselves included. This may be 
a s)anptom of more than ordinary physical nervousness, but 
more conunonly it is one of the efifects of a thoughtlessness, or 
heedlessness, which needs subjection. A student of this fault 
tells us that the highly energetic, quick-minded children are 
especially prone to it, when seized by a fit of passion. "In 
their anger the very presence of a breakable object acts as a 
suggestion which they are unable to resist — ^the impulse is 
quicker than any prudent reflection." The correction is that 
for anger, loss of self-control; but at least the culprit should 
be made to pay for or replace the object broken, or, if it was 
his own, to suffer from its loss without help from you. His 
sense of justice will approve of this, and you may relax enough 
to take an interest in his plans to earn the money, but do not 
help him too much, and see that he finishes the task. After 
he has paid a few bills of that kind he will be more careful. 

The importance of curbing in the child a tendency to selfish 
mischief is seen in all later moral education. The want of 
care for things of use or value easily passes into disregard of 
personal relations, and thereby natures become hardened, and 
unconscious cruelties often take the place of the deference and 
kindness so essential in social relations. 

Three poems in Volume I of the Library are on the subject 
of humorous mischief: "There Was a Little Girl," "The 
Wind in a Frolic," and "The Frost." The same volume 
contains the good old fable, "The Boys and the Frogs." In 
Volume II there are "Baldur," "The Gifts of the Dwarfs," and 
" The Punishment of Loki. " Several of the stories in Volume 
III show the consequences of heedless acts — see "Dicky Ran- 
dom, " " Trial, " and " A Plot of Gunpowder. " In Volume IV 
"Rataplan, Rogue" tells the tale of a mischievous elephant. 
Among our poems in Volume XI nothing could be finer than the 
classic, "Seein* Things," and it makes a splendid recitation. 



84 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 



MUSIC IN THE HOME 

MUSIC is not a mere accomplishment, like dancing. It is 
a general educative force, like painting or drawing, 
and probably has more influence in character-building than 
either. While it appeals to the ear with the pleasures of sound, 
it teaches lessons of refinement, truth, and beauty. The wise 
mother will ask how she can teach her child to love music. 
She will do this not because she wishes to make an artist of 
him but because she wisely considers music a part of the child's 
general education. In this brief article we cannot even make 
suggestions regarding the best methods of securing a musical 
education. We can only make a plea for music in the home 
and especially for vocal music. 

Little children should be taught the words and music oi 
the best nursery songs, the sweetest luUabys, and some of the 
folk-songs of all nations. Plenty of such simple music in early 
years is a good foundation for broad musical culture. The 
little ones should learn the words of these songs as well as the 
melodies. 

In every home where there is a piano or where there is none, 
there should be a singing hour every week and, if possible, a 
few minutes of song each day. In these simple home concerts 
there should be a great variety of music. Hymns should be 
sung as well as ballads and home songs. The jolly and humor- 
ous songs should not be omitted, and the singing should be 
done with vigor and vivacity. Parents should use their influ- 
ence for more music and better music in the public schools. 

In Volume XII of the Library will be foimd sensible and 
helpful articles on singing and piano-playing, as well as the 
words and music of the best songs — the songs that never die. 
This collection, carefully made and edited, includes every variety 
of vocal music from nursery jingles to patriotic songs, from 
college songs to great religious melodies. 

Parents should not forget the moral and religious influ- 
ence of h)min-singing in the home. Hymns contain truth, 
theology, and the finest expression of religious feeling and 



CONDUCT AND CHARACTER-BUILDING 85 

emotion. The words of great hymns should be memorized, 
as well as the tunes. Children will never forget the emotions 
aroused by a grand old hymn sung in the family circle at twilight 
Sunday evening, or just before bedtime. The writer was 
raised on a farm. In that lonely country home there was no 
musical instrument, but both parents could sing and both 
were familiar with the best hynms. Every Simday evening 
and almost every other evening, in that family circle, "Old 
Hundred" was sung; or "A Charge to Keep I Have"; or, 
"How Tedious and Tasteless the Hour." The writer does 
not claim to be what is called a religious man, but he believes 
he is a better man because of the imdying influence of this 
home-singing of the best hymns. 

Fault has been found by Walter Damrosch with the American 
mother in general for not inculcating love of music in growing 
boys, and seemingly confining all such attention to the girls. 
Damrosch points out that not till mothers realize this error 
will America have an opportunity of producing great music 
and composers of highest rank. 

In the Library there is much interesting reading for the 
music-lover, particularly the biographies in Volume IX of 
Mozart, Beethoven, and Jenny Lind. Stories illustrating the 
power of music are "The Maiden Who Loved a Fish," in 
Volimie I, and " Orpheus" and "The Argonauts" in Volume 11. 
In Volimie XI are the poems "The Pied Piper of Hamelin," 
" The Power of Music, " and " The Lost Chord. " We believe 
that Volimie XII contains one of the best possible collections 
of home-songs with piano accompaniment. 

^ ^ ^ 
NATURE-STUDY 

NATURE-STUDY seems often thought. of as a somewhat 
sentimental interest in birds and flowers and sunmaer 
sunsets; but it is as broad as the whole range of the physical 
sciences, and must therefore include a study of the history and 



86 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

constitution of the earth, the atmosphere that surrounds it, 
the universe of which they are a part, and the laws that control 
the whole. But while parents should realize this, and bear it 
in mind, no one expects them to spread so great a task before 
the eyes of their children. They may, however, lead their 
minds toward it by simple explanations of some of the great 
facts, such as the way in which the clouds are formed, and 
rain and snow descends from them; and then how the running 
waters, carrying ofif the rainfall, bear with them earth and 
pulverized rock, wearing down the highlands in one place and 
filling up the lowlands in another. Here is an opening for the 
rudiments of geology and even the outlines of astronomy, which 
are quite within the grasp of a boy or girl in the grammar- 
school. All children enjoy tracing the constellations; are de- 
lighted with the revelations an opera-glass will make on a 
clear night; and listen with interest to an account of the moon. 
The movement of the winds is easily illustrated wherever there 
is an open fire; and simple experiments give a correct notion 
of many of the phenomena of light and soimd and electricity. 
All these things are extremely important to the education of 
the young, and early and correct impressions about them will 
be of inmiense help when they come to take up these specialties 
in school. 

The greatest value in nature-study, however, is in training 
the mind to deal with hard facts and inmiovable processes. 
These are not matters of opinion or faith. What anyone may 
say about them is of no consequence. Observation may be 
erroneous, but the facts of nature are truths. Teach your 
children, then, that here there can be no guessing, no half- 
knowledge, no taking-for-granted. The old Chinese believed — 
the more ignorant among them still believe — that earthquakes 
are caused by the writhing about of a gigantic dragon under 
the surface of the earth. That explanation was very pictur- 
esque but worth nothing until it had been proved, first, that 
such a dragon existed; second, that it was capable of causing an 
earthquake; third, that nothing else could or did cause it. 
Nature-study ought to make a person cautious to be sure of 
his facts in all things; to seek the simplest explanation in every 



CONDUCT AND CHARACTER-BUILDING 87 

enquiry instead of swallowing some marvel like the earth- 
dragon; to be ready to accept truth whether it interferes with 
some previous notion or not. To inspire in your child the 
scientij&c spirit — ^a love of searching for the truth — ^is far more 
important than to make him a learned man in science. 

Nature-study can easily begin with many of the little poems 
in Volume I of the Library, as "Where do all the Daisies Go?" 
"Tree on the Hill," "Twinkle, Twinkle," "A Boy's Song," 
"Buttercups and Daisies," and "The Frost." The pretty 
fairy tale "Thumbelina" is also an excellent object-lesson. 
In Volume II use can be made of such nature-m)rths as 
"Proserpina" and "Baldur." Our animal-story section of 
Voliune IV should prove valuable, and we direct attention to 
"A Field-mouse Tale," "Friskytoes," "On the Night Trail," 
and " The Adventures of a Loon. " All of Volimie V is devoted 
to natural history. In Volume VI "Animals of the Realms of 
Snow," "The Musk-Ox and Its Habits," and "Stories of 
Eskimo Dogs" will serve good purpose. Read your favorite 
science topic in any of the divisions of Volume VIII : " Geology, " 
"Physical Geography," "Chemistry," or "Evolution and 
Nature-Studies. " Learn some of the poems in " The Circling 
Seasons" and "Green Things A-Growing" divisions of Volume 
XI. 

^ ^ ^ 

OBEDIENCE 

OBEDIENCE is the first principle of training in social 
life; and it must be insisted upon in children by parents, 
not because they are their parents, or have any inborn authority 
over them personally — for there is no such thing — ^but because 
it is for the child's good and for the safety of society. The 
parents having added a prospective citizen to the state become 
responsible that, so far as they can effect it, he shall become 
a law-abiding one. 

The propriety of obedience, at first unquestioning, and 
afterwards at least respectful, as long as dependence endures 



88 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

and judgment is immature, is not in doubt; but there is less 
agreement as to the methods of securing a prompt and willing 
compliance with the commands of their parents or of others, 
such as teacher or nurse, to whom parental authority has been 
temporarily delegated. 

One great obstacle to solving the problem will be cleared 
away when both parent and child (as it grows old enough) com- 
prehend what has been stated above, namely, that obedience 
to a parent is not subjection to a natural master, with a divine 
right to order, and irresponsible power to enforce his decrees, 
but is the proper submission of a weak and ignorant person to 
the guidance of one who is stronger and wiser in the ways of 
the world, and is naturally appointed to that ofl&ce by the cir- 
cimistances of generation and love. In other words, a good 
reason for a required action, apart from the parents say-so, ought 
always to be given where it is feasible; then obedience to it 
will rarely be refused, or given unwillingly or dishonestly. 
Otherwise any submission gained is merely a captive's or slave's 
fear of the lash, and is not to be trusted. 

Of course there are times — especially with the very young — 
when complete obedience must come first and explanations 
afterward; but a wise and loving parent will so manage it that 
the child will feel that there must be good reason for the command, 
although he may not then know it. The parent who acts upon 
this view of the relation of authority between him and his off- 
spring will rarely have reason to complain of serious diso- 
bedience. 

We suggest the reading of "Mabel on Midsummer Day" 
in Voliune I of the Library, and then the little myth, "The 
Twelve Months, " in Volume II, both of which will be appreciated 
by even the youngest readers. In Volume III "The Fruits 
of Disobedience" and "Oyster Patties" deal with the subject 
of children obeying their parents. "Equality at Sea," in 
Voliune IV, is another side of the question, and will appeal to 
boys. "The Wreck of the 'Birkenhead'" in Volume VII is 
recommended to all readers, and in Volume X the article "Dis- 
agreeable Children" should give parents a few helpful sugges- 
tions. 



CONDUCT AND CHARACTER-BUILDING 89 



OBSERVATION AND LOVE OF NATURE 

THE phrase "love of nature" has become of late somewhat 
of a catchword, implying great poetic enthusiasm for birds 
and flowers, and a special fondness for stories in which animals 
figure in a somewhat theatrical way. But this emotional condi- 
tion is not essential to a love of nature, and should not deter any 
mother from making nature-lovers of her children and herself. 

There is no mystery about it. The words simply mean to 
enjoy acquaintance with natural things as well as with artificial 
ones. It is, for instance, a serene summer day, and as you sit 
at your window your view spans a valley with fields and a wind- 
ing road, carried over an invisible stream by a bridge which 
tells you where it flows. Some woods lie at the left, and beyond 
them and the valley rises a gentle hillside dotted with farms, 
just now dappled with the moving shadows of clouds. Do you 
see these things and forget the illustrated magazine in your lap ? 
Then you are a nature-lover. Do you call your litde one to 
your knee and lead him to look at this beauty too? That is 
the way to make him a nature-lover. He will delight in the 
charm of the view, never fear, when once his attention is tact- 
fully called to it; but he will take a step into a new world if you 
lead him a little further. Ask him if he notices the different tints 
in the squares and patches of the farm-fields on the hillsides. 
Some are richly green, some of paler tint, some a glowing yellow. 
What is the yellow? Ripe grain. The grain is the seed of the 
wheat plants. When it has become full-sized and hard, the 
plant's work is done and the green color, which indicates that 
it is growing, disappears. Ask him to bring you one of the 
tufts of dry grass from the lawn, and show him its seeds and the 
similarly brownish hue of the stems. Wheat or oats are only 
larger grasses. Tell him how these seeds stay in their tiny husks 
even after the snow comes, so that the sparrows in the fall 
and the snow-birds in winter find plenty of food. 

Let him watch the canary daintily picking the seeds from 
its cup and cracking them in its beak. Notice how strong that 
beak is, and its wedge-like form; then ask him to tell you to- 



00 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

morrow how many wild birds he has seen with similar beaks. 
Perhaps he will say only one; but he will keep his eyes open and 
presently he will find that many birds have beaks of other shapes 
— some like chisels, others as slender and sharp as awls, others 
like flat nippers, and so on. Explain to the child that each 
shape means a separate purpose, and ask him to see if he cannot 
find out this purpose in each case, as he watches the birds seek- 
ing their food. Don^t let him guess at anything, or rest content 
until he is sure of each fact; and don't tell him more than is 
necessary to save him from going wrong. If, however, you can 
place good books before him, do so. 

All this is very simple and quite within the reach of the 
average mother or father; and by continuing it, as knowledge 
broadens, you will make of your son or daughter a nature- 
lover and a nature-observer, before he or she is out of child- 
hood; and thus you will start them toward a never-failing, and 
never-exhausted field of interest. Furthermore, you will have 
sharpened their eyes and minds until they will be quick to see 
and eager to investigate not only the facts of nature but anything 
else which attracts or is forced upon their attention. That 
means that they will acquire, without knowing it as an effort, 
activity of mind, and one of its most precious possessions — the 
habit of observation. 

By many poems, stories, and articles our Library teaches 
the importance of observation in relation to nature, and we 
commend "The Chameleon," Volume I, and "Eyes and No 
Eyes," Volume III. The animal stories in the last half of 
Volume IV are the result of their authors' minute observation, 
one notable case being "The King of the Trout-stream." In 
Volume V "Walks with a Naturalist" and "Nature-Study 
at the Seaside" will acquaint the young reader step by step 
with the marvelous things of his ordinary environment. Con- 
sulting Volume VI we find "The Grand Canon of Colorado," 
"Expedition to the Pacific Ocean," "Life and Scenery in 
Venezuela, " and a number of kindred travel articles containing 
the fruits of keen observation. Our Volume VIII is likewise 
full of rich material, but we especially mention "The Habits 
of Ants," "Spiders and Their Ways," and "The Forms of 



CONDUCT AND CHARACTER-BUILDING 91 

Water." In Volume XI read the poems in the divisions "The 
World We Live In" and "Friends of Field and Forest." 
Memorize as many of them as appeal to you — a few lines a 
day will soon give you quite a repertory of delightful poems. 

^ ^ ^ 
PATIENCE 

IN this busy, bustling world is patience really desirable and 
necessary ? Is it not a disadvantage to the vigorous man 
or woman who is determined to succeed? Let us ask our- 
selves a few questions. What is patience? Is it desirable? 
Can it be cultivated? Should we try to teach it to our 
children by precept and by our own example? How can we 
come to a better understanding of what it means ? 

Sometimes when a boy tries to work out in his mind the 
meaning of a great big word like ^kindness' or ^ambition' or 
'eloquence' he thinks of some fine example of the quality. 
Eloquence, that's Webster and Clay! Ambition, that's Alex- 
ander the Great, trying to conquer the world. Kindness, that's 
his mother. But who represents patience? 

The writer, years ago, knew a woman of sixty, of whose 
home he was a member for months. When he thinks of pa- 
tience, he remembers her. She never worried or scolded or 
nagged or "got out of patience." When troubles came, she 
met them with calmness and courage. She thought what it 
was best to do and acted promptly — she did not worry. She 
possessed that excellent thing in woman — a low, sweet voice, 
which she did not elevate because some one said an unpleasant 
word or did a provoking thing. On "memory's wall" her 
picture stands for patience. 

Dear Reader, whether you live in a Canadian forest or city 
jimgle; whether you are a brave, free-hearted boy, or the happy 
father of such a boy — ^leam to be calm and self-possessed and pa- 
tient. It is right and it is best. Let's say to ourselves: "Pa- 
tience can be cultivated. I will cultivate it and will begin to-day." 

Parents, we sympathize with you and wish to help you. 
It is difficult to be a good father or a good mother, just as it is 



92 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

difficult to be a good lawyer or a good preacher, but impatience 
and worry only make it more difficult. Your children are an- 
noying and irritating at times, just as you were when you were 
young, but it pays to be kind and patient. 

"The hasty word or act — ^properly speaking — ^has no place 
in the home. Just stop a moment before you scold or punish 
your child for some little act he ought not to have committed. 
In that moment you will recall some excuse for the act that will 
make it less wrong and the punishment uncalled for. Be 
patient with the little ones. How can you expect them to know 
as much or do as much as their elders? When a child asks 
questions, be patient enough to answer him. It is a child's 
right to be taught, and he can learn only by asking questions. 

"Half the little annoyances of life will disappear if one is 
only patient imder them. Almost all the other half will go the 
same way if one does not worry over them. Don't worry. 
It never pays. The mind free from worry is in the best con- 
dition to make plans which are to lead to success. " 

You cannot learn to be patient by reading about it, any more 
than you can learn to swim by reading about it. But reading 
helps and inspires, and we suggest the following titles in the 
Library: "Contented John," "The Crow and the Pitcher," 
"One Eye, Two Eyes, Three Eyes," "The Goose Girl," and 
"The Story of King Frost" in Volume I; "Muchie Lai" in 
Volume II; and "Griselda" in Volume III. In Volume VII 
read the division entitled "Heroism Under Adverse Fate." 
The biographies of S. F. B. Morse and Elizabeth Barrett 
Browning in Volume IX are recommended, and "How Great 
Things Are Done, " in the same volume, applies to the question 
in hand. Of the poems in Volume XI none are more desirable 
than "The Angel of Patience" and Milton's sonnet, "On 
His Blindness." 

^ ^ ^ 

PATRIOTISM 

IT would be difficult to find anywhere clearer and better 
advice to a lad who will soon enter upon the privileges 
and obligations of citizenship in the United States than is con- 



CONDUCT AND CHARACTER-BUILDING 93 

tained in the articles in the latter half of Volume VII of the 
Library. Three Presidents have there given him the benefit of 
their ripe experience, 2uid, as if even that did not suffice to place 
the treatise upon the loftiest plane, to their wisdom has been 
added the counsel of two distinguished and greatly trusted 
leaders in the Christian church. This section justly follows 
that in which the principles of heroism have been incul- 
cated by a variety of noble examples. Some of the most 
notable of these examples have been of men who have 
risked, or even deliberately sacrificed, their lives for their 
country. 

But the burden of the teachings on patriotism, as on heroism, 
is that the idea has a wider meaning than merely fighting for the 
flag, necessary and admirable as that may be in its time. It 
means a constant, conscientious sense of duty toward the im-* 
provement of the country and all its citizens, in their govern- 
ment, their manhood, and their prosperity. It means that every 
man — ^and especially every young man — ought to inform him- 
self as well as possible upon the political needs and problems of 
the day, and then take an active part, through political pro- 
cesses and organizations, in establishing what he thinks right 
and profitable for the welfare of the whole people. No thought- 
ful parent will omit to urge this subject upon the attention of 
his sons; and it would be well if the articles mentioned above 
were read aloud and discussed, paragraph by paragraph. It 
is advisable also in this connection to read the biographies 
of such statesmen in Volume IX as Washington, Lincoln, 
Franklin, Jefferson, Hamilton, and Webster, or any of the 
others in our "Soldiers and Statesmen" division. Of stories, 
we can recommend "Odysseus," "Theseus," "How Horatius 
Held the Bridge," "How Cincinnatus Saved Rome," "Beo- 
wulf," "Roland," aad "William TeU" in Volume IL Boys 
will want to read the "Iliad" stories in Volume HI. In 
Volume IV "Defending the Fort" should prove a fasci- 
nating tale for very young folks. Two divisions of Volume 
XI apply to the subject, "Country and Flag" and "Wars 
and Battles. " Many fine poems for memorizing will be foimd 
therein. 



94 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 



PERSEVERANCE 

BY the time a child is nine or ten years old it will be able 
to understand and do a great variety of things, both 
mental and physical; and it will be learning of more with 
amazing rapidity. In view of this speed with which new im- 
pressions and opportunities come to him, he and his teachers 
need to pause from time to time and consider whether he is not 
losing good things almost as fast as he gains them. Some 
unheard-of interest suddenly attracts his attention, and he takes 
it up eagerly; but before he has half learned the facts connected 
with it, or acquired the skill necessary to make use of it, some- 
thing else has presented itself, and his mind leaps off to that. 
This age is none too early, then, to preach Perseverance. The 
applications at first will be in small matters, of course, but 
these are the foundation-stones of habit. In these small ways 
is learned the virtue of persistency — sticking firmly to plan and 
purpose — ^which has so often been the real reason for successes. 
It is well for a youngster to acquire an ambition, or a hobby, 
if you please, and stick to it year after year, as a pleasing and 
elevating recreation. Encourage your child to form some 
plan, agreeing with his or her natural inclination, which is not 
too great for probable accomplishment, discuss it until it is 
well understood and forecast, and then do your best to see that 
it is not abandoned. This is the disciplinary value of forming 
local collections in natural history or archaeology, of planting 
an orchard, or taking out a limited insurance, or gather- 
ing postage-stamps or picture-postcards. The parent's part 
(besides occasionally helping) is to warn the beginner against 
trying to do too much. Take the common matter of stamps. 
Not one boy or girl in ten thousand can hope to accumulate a 
really respectable stamp-collection of the whole world: but it 
is quite within the power of most young people, in the course 
of ten or a dozen years to make a really fine and valuable album 
representing some one country, as Mexico, or Canada, or Spain 
and her provinces. Upon a limited section, like that, a persever- 
ing lad might become a notable authority. Too great an under- 



CONDUCT AND CHARACTER-BUILDING 95 

taking brings discouragement, the effect of which is felt in 
respect to other enterprises. 

Perseverance — "stick-to-it-iveness" — ^is one of the longest 
and strongest levers a man can possess who means to build a 
Palace of Success out of the materials at hand. 

Simple things in the Library bearing upon this desirable 
trail are "Johnny and the Golden Goose," "Try Again," and 
" Persevere and Prosper" in Volume I. " Rustum, " in Volume 
II, despite its fantastic features shows its hero a "sticker." 
In Volume III read "Robinson Crusoe," "Pilgrim's Progress," 
" Prince Life, " and " Busy Idleness. " Different, but of similar 
value, is "The Whale-Chase" in Volume IV. All the voyagers 
and adventurers told of in Volume VI possessed the power 
of persevering, but as specific instances see the "First Voyage 
of Columbus," "Ascent of Moimt Ararat," and "The Great 
Albert Nyanza." In Volume IX become acquainted with the 
biographies of Ulysses S. Grant, Bernard Palissy, and read the 
division "Eminent Women." Good poems to dwell upon are 
"Haste Not! Rest Not!" and "Address to the Indolent" in 
Volume XI. 

^ ^ ^ 

PLAY 

IT is doubtless true, as has been pointed out recently by 
Calvin Dill Wilson, that there is no form of discipline 
that can take the place of that gained in play by children who 
join with comrades in various sports. They gain self-control. 
Ill-temper brings upon them ridicule and gibes which youngsters 
will not wish to face a second time. They find themselves 
matched against equal strength and skill and wit, and grow 
stronger and brighter by the contests. They get over morbid 
sensitiveness by contact with those who are too absorbed to cod- 
dle them. 

Parents should play with their children and play right 
heartily, enjoying each new game even as the youngsters them- 
selves. The father or mother who does not believe in the edu- 
cative value of play is to be pitied. The great educator, James 



96 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

Kirkpatrick, has written on this subject as follows: "How 
shall these helpless and ignorant ones become strong and wise? 
Chiefly through Nature's old nurse, Play, who charms children 
into using every power as it develops and finding out ever3rthing 
possible about the very environment from the heavens above to 
the earth beneath." 

Encourage the children to play vigorously and earnestly, and 
to think about their plays. They should play hard as well as 
work hard — ^not lazily or listlessly. An old-fashioned poet has 
expressed the thought as follows: 

"Work while you work, and play while you play, 
This is the way to be cheerrul and gay. " 

Earnest work and vigorous play help greatly in the direction 
of character-building. At croquet, or checkers, or tennis, chil- 
dren should try to play a good strong game. Into such sports 
as marbles, or ball, or skating, or swimming they should put 
energy and vigor. "Whatever is worth doing, is worth doing 
weU." 

In Volume X of the Library will be found games for children 
of all ages. We especially reconunend for the littler ones such 
games as "Spinning the Platter," "The Sea King," "Rule of 
Contrary," "My Master Bids You," and "Honey Pots," and 
there are many other games in this department of Volume X 
equally good. For the older children, the following games are 
always pleasing and popular: "Cross Questions," "Buzz," 
"Stage-coach," " Dumb Crambo, " and "Consequences." In 
this department many more indoor as well as outdoor games 
are described. 

In the "Home Amusement" section of Voliune X (pages 
301-420) are indoor games, toys and toy games, tricks, puzzles 
and conundrums, acting-charades, short plays, and outdoor 
games. We heartily reconunend the little plays and charades, 
just as we recommend such games as "Authors" and "Quota- 
tions. " 

Among the amusing and entertaining poems and stories in 
the Library that refer in some way to games and sports are the 
following in Voliune I: "The Unseen Playmate," "A Lobster 



CONDUCT AND CHARACTER-BUILDING 97 

Quadrille," and "A Grood Play." In Volume X the following 
will be found pleasing and entertaining poems: '^ Blowing 
Bubbles," "Sleigh Song," and "Going A-Nutting." In 
Volume IV there are several good stories for little folks about 
playing, among which is "The Story of the Big Green Doll," 
while older children will enjoy "Tom's First Half- Year at 
Rugby." 

In the " Chart of Suggestions, " fifth column, will be found 
hints regarding children's games and sports, and when the 
youngsters should take them up. Fathers and mothers should 
see that their children have plenty of wholesome play. They 
should even, take part in the sports of the young folks, and by 
so doing they will add much to their own happiness as well as 
to that of the boys and girls. 

,it ,it ^ 

PLUCK 

AS self-confidence is the basis of courage, so pluck may 
be thought its pinnacle, for in one view it is the finest 
expression of self-confidence and courage combined. It is 
the perseverance in courage — ^the silent, unnoticed "grit" 
which is most worth while, and which should be taught to every 
child. Only now. and then is a person called upon to show 
bravery — to do something heroic; every day in the life of an 
ordinary citizen, yoimg or old, calls for pluck. Obstacles, 
ill-health, opposition of friends, resistance of competitors, 
failures, doubts, incessantly beset the path of all who try 
to progress, whatever line they follow. Sometimes they seem 
overwhelming, and often are so to the weak, but the plucky 
man fights on until he wins. "Fortune," said Sophocles, 
"is not on the side of the faint-hearted." 

The plucky man thinks not of the number of the enemy, 
but of the value of what he seeks to gain or to defend. History 
furnishes many an example of this, not only in war, but in every 
sort of enterprise, and each is worthy of a lad's earnest thought. 
The best man in a baseball game is the one who plays hardest 
in a losing game. Is the score against his side? All the more 



98 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

reason for a cool head and untiring effort. A wrestler who, 
almost prostrate underneath a heavier antagonist, will not allow 
himself to even think of defeat, but stiffens his aching shoulders 
more and more as the pressure increases, has a good chance 
to tire his man out, and roll on top. Caesar and Wellington 
and Grant won campaigns by fighting on when doubters said 
all was lost. The child who wrestles in that way with a bad 
habit or a besetting sin will overcome it. Many a man's life, 
many a great cause, has been saved by the indomitable pluck 
which clung to the last shred of chance. Mere physical courage, 
and even some moral courage, is often an accident of great 
natural vigor of body or will; but enduring fortitude against 
inner weakness or outer adversity may be taught, and it should 
be the duty of parents and teachers to plant it deeply in the 
minds of all the youth under their charge. 

Readers are advised to consult the references under * 'Cour- 
age'* and "Heroism." Then, in addition, stress is laid upon 
"Jack and the Beanstalk," "Seven at one Blow" and "The 
Story of King Frost" in Volume I; "Thor's Adventures Among 
the Jotuns," " The Argonauts, " and "Odysseus" in Volume II; 
"Sindbad the Sailor" and the Iliad stories in Volume III; and 
"The Boatman's Story" and "Wee Willie Wmkie" in Volume 
IV. Two good articles in Volume VI are " Historical Sketch 
of Arctic Exploration" and "Perils of Alpine Climbing." In 
Volume IX turn to "Men of Pluck"; and in Volume XI 
memorize "Casabianca" and "A Psalm of Life." 

^ ^ ^ 

TENACITY OF PURPOSE 
(See "Perseverance," and "Firmness.") 

,it ,it ,it 

READING 

XT is impossible to impress too strongly upon parents the 
importance of inculcating in their children the habit of 
reading. This means something more than the habit of reading 



CONDUCT AND CHARACTER-BUILDING 99 

newspapers and current periodicals or current novels. It 
means the love of good books and of using them. It means 
delight in communing with great intellects and noble and 
beautiful characters, and satisfaction in storing the mind with 
thoughts and facts which may be of service but will, at any rate, 
be a source of enjoyment. 

Reading, to be of much benefit, must be done seriously 
and studiously. Careless, indolent, desultory reading may be 
and often is of no benefit whatever. We know a man who, for 
forty years, has been a great reader of newspapers, magazines, 
and inferior books; perhaps he has read on an average four 
hours a day for thirty years. He is now more than fifty years 
of age, but he is not wise or even well-informed. Another 
man — sl Lincoln, for instance — ^may acquire clearness and 
strength of mind by reading and re-reading a dozen good 
books. 

Boys and girls should learn to read with deep interest, with 
a mind awake, alert, and vigorous. They should consider the 
meaning of words as well as sentences. "More is gained in 
knowledge and mental discipline from one good book on which 
the earnest thought and energy of the mind settles than from 
a whole library skimmed over or read carelessly. " 

Yoimg folks should learn to read closely and thoughtfully, 
analyzing every subject as they go along and laying it up care- 
fully and safely in their memories. By all means do a little 
careful reading every day, if it is but a sentence or two. Never 
allow yourself to go to sleep at night unless you are conscious 
of at least one important thing you have learned during 
the day. 

In the Library, Volume X, there are several helpful articles 
on reading, for the older boys and girls, and among them are 
the following: " On Readers and Books, " by Hemy van Dyke; 
" The Art of Reading, " by H. W. Mabie; " How to Use Books, " 
by Brother Azarias; and "Reading for Girls," by Eliza Chester. 

The biographies of Elihu Burritt and Harriet Beecher 
Stowe in Volume IX will be stimulating to the young student 
of literature. We also advise a careful perusal of the General 
Introduction iQ Volume I. And the "Lists of Best Books" 



100 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

at the close of each volume of the Library, supplementing the 
subject-matter, ought to assist in the intelligent selection of 
books along given lines. 

,it ,it ^ 
SELF-CONTROL 

AT the very beginning we would like to ask parents and 
children a few questions. What is self-control? Is 
it an important quality in character-building? Should it — 
can it — ^be cultivated ? Is it of value in the home, in the school, 
and in every-day life? (Look at the definition of the term in 
some good dictionary.) 

A little boy once said to his teacher, "I know what self- 
control means — it means 'to make yourself mind.'" 

A little boy promised to get up in the morning promptly 
when called. He was called, but he did not get up prompdy. 
He lacked self-control. He promised and meant to obey, but 
he lacked the power to make himself mind. 

We would not, of course, give much for a boy who has no 
temper. Temper is just as important for the boy as it is for 
the steel blade of a jack-knife, but it must be controlled. The 
boy who allows his temper to get the best of him — who cannot 
control it — is lacking in firmness and strength of character. 
Can he learn self-control? Of course he can — just as he can 
learn to skate — by trying again and again. The grit and 
perseverance that make a boy a good skater and swimmer, if 
applied in the right way will give him the power of self-control. 
There is wisdom in the old adage, " If at first you don't succeed, 
try, try again." Yes, always try, try again, whether you are 
trying to learn self-control, or cheerfulness, or skating, or 
checkers. 

Once on a time a large strong boy was "sassed" and insulted 
by a boy smaller than himself. Their teacher, who was not 
far away, watched to see the outcome, but said nothing. Finally 
the larger boy walked over to the teacher and said: "This 
self-control business is a pretty good thing for me. Twice I 



CONDUCT AND CHARACTER-BUILDING 101 

thought I would like to lick that kid for being so "sassy," but 
I said to myself, 'Thomas, hold on to yourself! Remember 
self-control. ' " 

Self-control means many things. We will now mention 
only five, and let you, unknown reader, think out and look up 
the others, i. The avoidance of hasty and angry words. 
2. The power to resist temptation when it comes. 3. The 
power to be calm under provocation or insult. 4. The control 
of temper. 5. The power to compel yourself to do the things 
you ought to do, and which conscience approves. 

Happy the home or the school where all the members have 
learned self-control! This means yoUy teachers and parents, 
as well as the boys and girls. The boy who eats too much and 
the man who drinks too much lack self-control. The boy 
who shirks when he ought to do honest work, who permits his 
mind to dwell upon baseball or firecrackers when all its power 
should be given to arithmetic or granmiar, lacks self-control. 
The man who enters a barroom when he knows it is not wise 
for him to do so lacks self-control. 

Yes, self-control can be cultivated and it is worth while. 
Happy the home, we repeat, where all the members have 
learned this "fine art! 

As aids in the direction of self-control, we suggest the 
following stories and articles in our Library. Read them 
carefully, to catch both their plain and their hidden meaning, 
and to find every helpful suggestion that you can. 

Under the heading "Firmness" readers will find useful 
references. In Volume I see "Suppose" and "Let Dogs 
Delight to Bark and Bite. " Many of the old-fashioned stories 
in Volume III breathe the spirit of self-control, especially 
"Oyster Patties" and "The Purple Jar." In Volume IV read 
"Peter Rugg — The Missing Man," a powerful story of a 
quick-tempered character. Naturally, nearly all of the heroes 
in Volume VII show this quality of ruling their spirit, but we 
would wish every child to read in it again and again the biogra- 
phies of Nathan Hale and Toussaint L'Ouverture. To the 
older children and adults "Training the Will," in Volume X, 
is highly recommended. The poetry in Volume XI contains 



102 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

"Mannion and Douglas," "One by One," "The Rainy Day,'- 
and " The Angler, " all applicable to the question of self-control. 
Memorize your favorite. 

^ ^ ^ 
SELF-RELIANCE 

{See "Courage," "Firmness," "Honesty," and "Sense 
OF Personal Honor. ") 

,it ^ ^ 
SOCIETY 

WHILE children are still very young they show a desire for 
the company of others. They want mother within call ; 
they want other children to play with them; they want attention, 
and an interest in their games. All this is perfectly natural 
and normal, and if it is denied a child, somehow he will not 
thrive. 

As they grow older children's parties are attractive, pro- 
vided they are not so formal as to be terrifying rather than 
delightful. Any one who understands children at all will see 
that to make such parties like those of grown people, either by 
costly dresses or elaborate entertainment, or gorgeous decora- 
tion and supper, is to completely spoil them for a healthy child. 
He wants a good time, plenty to eat, funny plays, and in general 
a good romp, far more than anything else. 

The time of social awakening, in the larger sense, comes as 
the child grows older. Then it is really essential that a parent 
recognize this as the natural thing, and work along the right 
lines in giving the boy or girl what is needed. Playmates 
should be considered, and those which seem detrimental to the 
good manners or morals of the child must be discouraged 
tactfully, and others who have genuine qualities of goodness 
and wholesomeness should be invited to the home to supplant 
them. 

As a child is essentially an imitative animal, a good social 



CONDUCT AND CHARACTER-BUILDINO 103 

life should be given just as far as possible. If he becomes 
accustomed early to well-bred mamiers in the parlor, and hears 
conversation which is not all idle, he will have a standard of 
conduct which will help him later on in choosing good society 
rather than that which is merely flashily attractive. If, on the 
other hand, his parents are careless or indifferent as to the sort 
of homes he frequents, the sort of parties he attends and the 
conversation he hears, they need not wonder if he grows up 
loving the worse rather than the better social life. 

Often at what is called the "awkward" period, a boy or 
girl finds going into company far more of a trial than a delight. 
A mother should come to the rescue here, and do all she can to 
help the growing child. Sleeves and collars and neckties for 
the boy should be seriously considered, and dresses let down 
and hair brushed prettily for the girl. If they are not to be 
self-conscious and shy, they must be dressed becomingly, no 
matter how simply. 

Interest and s)rmpathy in the social life of children, younger 
or older, are essential. Friends should be asked to come and 
see them, and should be made cordially welcome when they do 
come. Children should be encouraged to go out to simple 
affairs, no matter whether they like them or not, because of the 
training they receive by contact with others. 

Too many men and women are stiff in their manners with 
others, shy, self-conscious and awkward. They know this to 
be the case, and are either unhappy in company or brusque and 
disagreeable. For one reason or another, they have failed 
to receive the polish which is acquired only by meeting people 
socially in youth. Quiet, cultivated manners are not easily 
acquired after men and women are grown, and uncouth manner- 
isms are difficult to overcome. 

It is quite essential to see that children and young people 
do not miss the social training which is their due, and which 
in later life they will find a vital necessity as they go out into 
the larger world. 

References under "Friendship" and "Conversation" will 
be found valuable, while Volume X of the Library is rich in 
articles on phases of social life: see "Hints for Happiness," 



104 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

"Girls and their Mothers," "How to Entertain a Guest," 
"An Agreeable Guest," "Lord Chesterfield's Maxims," and 
"Good Taste in Dress." In that volume, too, are indoor 
games, charades, and little plays, which ought to furnish 
many a merry evening for the youngsters, and the same may be 
said of our collection of songs in Volume XII. Primary lessons 
in social significance can be drawn from the humorous tale, 
"The Darning- Needle," in Volume I, and "Uncle David's 
Nonsensical Story about Giants and Fairies" in Volume III. 
Older boys and girls will find interesting the biography of Mar- 
garet Fuller Ossoli in Volume IX. Poems under the division of 
"Friendship," in Volume XI, might be studied with profit, 
and the social life depicted in "The Deserted Village" should 
afford entertainment and instruction. 

,it ,it ^ 
STORY-TELLING 

THE art of story-telling is almost as old as the race itself. 
Turn to the history of whatever nation you will, its 
earliest activities cannot be separated from the tale that was 
told by poet, bard or minstrel. Nor would one want to make 
such a separation. What is there of interest and delight in 
the early records of Greece and Rome without Ulysses, Perseus, 
JEneas, Romulus, Remus and a host of other half-mythical 
characters hopelessly entwined with fact; what a wealth of charm 
the mystical doings of Arthur and the struggles of the princely 
Beowulf with the fire-spitting monster add to early English 
history. 

In story-telling, as in every other relation between mother 
and child, the former should make herself assured that she is 
always extending the invitation "Come unto me." There is 
nothing that gives readier entrance to the innermost chambers of 
the heart, reveals the ideals budding therein, and gives greater 
opportunity for the mother to make herself in reality, instead 
of merely in sentiment, the child's most confidential friend than 
the simple story. 



CONDUCT AND CHARACTER-BUILDING 105 

It is important that a literary taste should be acquired before 
the child is too old to yield to guidance. If not, for the same rea- 
sons as advanced above, he will invariably select for himself 
the blood-and-thunder sheet which can have but one result — 
the perversion of his morals, so thoroughly does his mind as- 
similate and cause to live again in its own thought and action 
that upon which it is fed. Incidental to the above feature is 
the development of a vocabulary and power of expressing one- 
self with accuracy and facility. Watch your child's growth 
in this direction for six months and you will be surprised how 
many words and phrases he has added to his original stock. 
In this connection may be suggested stories which are generally 
overlooked by even the story-telling mother, those which ex- 
plain the derivation, or give the historical origin of words. 
The story of the naming of St. Christopher is a good example. 
Simple, yet wonderfully interesting, stories have been built upon 
the names of many of our conunon flowers, such as the field 
daisy, the daffodil and the forget-me-not. 

Story-telling is imquestionably an art, just as much as is 
painting or music, and likewise the truly artistic story-teller 
is probably the exception. Nevertheless I am firmly of the 
opinion that she who is possessed of true mother-love can, with 
reasonable effort, acquire a degree of proficiency in the art 
which will enable her to develop in the minds of her children 
good, wholesome literary tastes. 

In the case of the very young child the mother should select 
stories in which the action is rapid, scene follows scene in quick 
succession, and little time is given to detailed description or 
"filling in" of the background. "The Three Bears" illustrates 
this point in an admirable manner. By using Teddy Bears 
to build the "bear" concept, a few nursery toys to illustrate the 
other features of the story, any mother can make this simple 
tale intelligible to even a lisping two-year-old. As the little 
one's intuitive faculty develops through his having learned by 
experience or otherwise the concepts which belong to such words 
as obedience, honesty, love and other of the commonly used 
abstract nouns, and as new thought-images have been created 
within his mind through introduction to new objects of the natural 



106 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

world, you will find that he becomes ready for the story whose 
plot is a trifle involved, and the scenes are somewhat elaborated 
by description. Here the narrator can make valuable use of 
comparison, and the opportunity should be seized if you do not 
want the child to fall into the habit of letting words flit by as 
meaningless sounds. Of course it is not to be expected that you 
will leave him with as full comprehension of the story as you 
yourself have. 

The best writers of stories for children to-day are happily 
omitting the shuddering tale of cruel treatment that befell the 
innocent child, and of the wicked boy who robbed the bird's 
nest, and in their places are selecting themes of positive value, 
such as the truths of nature; for example, botany and geology. 
Many entertaining and profitable stories have been written 
during recent years on animal life, and the popularity which 
they have attained proves that the writers have responded 
to a universal desire on the part of parent and child. To children 
who have acquired a slight knowledge of geography and been 
introduced to the history of their own coimtry, the historical 
tale usually proves interesting. The story of Betsy Ross and 
the Flag, of the origin of Independence Day, the Pocahontas 
incident — these and many others that will readily occur to you 
can be made entertaining. 

One great advantage that the telling of a story has over 
reading the same from the printed page is that the narrator 
has freedom of body and hand for gesticulating; this, however, 
demands that he should enter thoroughly into the feeling and 
spirit of the story, otherwise his movements will not be natural 
and the minds of his little auditors will be confused rather than 
clarified. 

Chief among our references for the art of story-telling is 
"Embellishment" in Volume III. It is difiicult to point out 
superior instances of narrative power in our Library, but in 
Volume I we ask the young student to analyze the beautiful 
stories of "The Fir Tree" and " Thumbelina. " As useful 
work we encourage the reader to compare "The Old Man's 
Comforts, and How He Gained Them," in Volume I, with its 
parody "Father William" in Volume XI. Another somewhat 



CONDUCT AND CHARACTER-BUILDING 107 

similar task would be to compare the prose version of Sir Gala- 
had in Volume II with the poetic rendition in Volume XI. 
The fables in Volume I for their brevity, wisdom, and point 
are fine models of narration. We offer Volume IV as a com- 
plete course of story-study in itself. When the yoimg student 
advances let him read the biographies of Carlyle, Tennyson, 
Irving, Elizabeth Barrett Browning, and Louisa M. Alcott in 
Volume IX. After reading let him prepare an essay. In Vol- 
ume X we call attention to "Study of the Novel" and "How 
to Study Shakespeare." The section of Volume XI entitled 
"Stories and Tales in Verse" should be helpful 

^^v ^3^ ^3^ 

SYMPATHY 

A SYMPATHETIC nature is the inheritance of every 
normal child, and its cultivation is one of the cardinal 
virtues of the home. Beneath the mother's smile and the 
father's appreciative words regard for the parents ripens into 
a love which demands recognition and love in return. Affection 
originates in sympathy, and perishes without it, even though 
its form may remain. A child who is sympathetic at two or 
three often becomes selfish at five or six, and the cause is not 
difficult to discover. Tired or busy parents have failed to 
respond to the child's caress and oflfer of assistance, but instead 
have scolded, or requested it not to bother them. It takes but 
little of this sort of treatment to chill a sensitive child; and 
repeated often it will blight tendencies which encouraged 
would develop into a most winning nature, or it may cause the 
young heart to turn for satisfaction to less safe, if not to positively 
harmful, sources. The first notion of morality indeed arises 
in a child's mind through sympathy. It notes the mother's 
smile or frown, and, longing for harmony with her, soon tries 
by its behavior to produce the sunshine of the smile and avoid 
the shadow of the frown. The mother's sympathetic approval 
is its first criterion of right and wrong. In the warmth of its 
mother's caress fear and trouble subside. "Kiss it and make 
it well" is a sovereign remedy. 



108 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

As the child grows, the demand for, and appreciation of, 
sympathy grows with him; and receiving it he is reassured where 
he was timid, strengthened in a chosen course, led to put forth 
tendrils of thought and action, and offers a precious confidence 
rich in opportimities for helpful influence. Nothing can 
compensate the son or daughter for loss of parental sympathy 
with their developing ideals, plans and aflEections; nor can 
anything be more destructive of joy in one's children, or influ- 
ence over them, than to let a natural and affectionate interest 
in whatever interests them chill into indiflference. It is not the 
sympathetic parents who complain that their children do not 
confide in them. Blessed is that sorrowful daughter who can 
hear her mother whisper, "I know, dear, what a sore tempta- 
tion it was; but — " Blessed is the son, angry and troubled, 
whose father throws his arm across the bowed shoulders and 
says heartily, "I've been through it myself, old fellow. Fight 
it out and you'll come out on top. I know it, for I have been 
there!" Even punishment, inflicted in this spirit, serves its 
purpose of reformation, and leaves no grudge. 

The cultivation of sympathy will result in a character 
instinct with consideration and kindness for the aged, weak 
and erring, and for animals. Cruelty and vindictiveness will 
be abhorrent to it, love and benevolence natural. " By sympa- 
thy," said an ancient philosopher, "our joys are increased and 
our sorrows are diminished. " 

After looking up the references imder "Kindness," we 
suggest that the very young reader take Volume I and become 
familiar with "The north wind doth blow," "I had a little 
doggie," "Poor Babes in the Wood," "What Does Little 
Birdie Say?" and "I Like Little Pussy." In Volume II let 
him turn to "Proserpina," "P)rramus and Thisbe," and "Bal- 
dur." Volume IV contains several sympathetic tales, among 
which we select "Oliver Twist," "The King of the Golden 
River," and "The Story of a Homer." Consideration and 
care for animals will be inculcated by the reading of Volume V, 
especially chapters XIII, XXII and XXIII, and the article on 
"Our Wicked Waste of Life." In Volume VII be sure to 
read "Father Damien Among the Lepers." The biographies 



CONDUCT AND CHARACTER-BUILDING 109 

in Volume IX are rich in examples of big, s)rmpathetic char- 
acters like Whittier, Livingstone, Gordon, John Wesley, Harriet 
Beecher Stowe and Florence Nightingale. In Volume X 
"The Spirit of Love" will engage the interest of every thought- 
ful person. There are numerous poems in Volume XI to read 
and remember, among them "Baby Bell," "The Sands o* 
Dee," "To a Mouse," "Dickens in Camp," "The Crowded 
Street," "The Song of the Shirt," and the "Elegy Written in a 
Coimtry Churchyard. " 

^^v ^3^ ^3^ 

ABOUT THINKING 

IT has been wisely said that a man is educated when he 
has "learned to think." Abraham Lincoln had no 
knowledge of Latin or Greek or rhetoric or logic, as they are 
taught in the schools. Horace Greeley never studied algebra 
or grammar or geometry. But both Lincoln and Greeley were 
splendidly educated men. They had learned to think and to 
express their thoughts! "A man who can take into his mind 
some great subject, and then shut out all the world beside 
while he thinks about it — imtil he has bounded it on the north, 
east, south, and west — that man is educated. " 

Sir Isaac Newton was once asked how he made his great 
discoveries. He answered, " By thinking forever about them. " 
While he was lying under an apple-tree, a falling apple hit 
him in a "hurtable" place. This caused him to think why 
the apple came toward the earth and toward him instead of 
going toward the sun. This incident led to long-continued 
thought, and such thought to a great discovery. (See character- 
sketch of Sir Isaac Newton in our Library, Volume IX). 

A thinking general is worth a dozen mere fighting generals, 
however brave and skilful. Von Moltke and Napoleon were 
profound thinkers. Of Napoleon Emerson said, "He won 
his battles in his head before he won them in the field." A 
business man who can do real, vigorous, and original, thinking 
is worth dozens of business men who are mere imitators; and 



no THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

we are learning that a farmer who studies and thinks is a far 
better farmer than one who can merely plow a straight furrow, 
or mow a wide swath. 

And now, "Gentle Reader," are you thinking, or are you 
only indulging in the common habit of idle dreaming and care- 
less reading ? Are the statements we have made true, or are they 
false? Are they wholly true, or only partially true? Shut this 
volume now, close your eyes, and for ten minutes force yourself 
to think about "thinking." 

Now, open your eyes, and look at that lamp, at that electric 
light, at that beautiful engraving on the wall! They are all 
the result of vigorous thought reaching through many centuries. 
The successful inventors have been great thinkers. 

Yesterday a little boy read the old adage — (What is an adage, 
anyhow ?) — " Still waters run deep. " Strange as it may seem, 
he began to think about it. He said to himself, "This cannot 
be true! Still water doesn't nm at all." Then he asked his 
father about it, and his father said, "Look in the dictionary for 
the word 'still.' Perhaps it means 'without noise,' not 
'without motion.'" That boy had been told many times to 
keep still, but he never before knew all the meanings of the 
word. The next day it occurred to him that he had never looked 
into the dictionary for the meaning of the word "think," and 
then he began to acquire the "dictionary habit," one of the 
most useful habits that the young learner and thinker can form. 

Think about your lessons, and think hard. Think about 
the books and the magazines you read. How much reading is 
done without thought! Such reading is a sort of "loafing" and a 
mere excuse for laziness. A boy was reading a poor daily 
newspaper the other day — ^he ought to have been reading some- 
thing better — and he found this peculiar sentence : " A hundred 
and fifty carloads of cats passed through Cleveland yesterday. " 
He was really thinking when he read that, and he said, "Gee! 
I didn't know there were so many cats in the State of Penn- 
sylvania. " By a little thought and some well-directed questions 
he discovered that the proof-reader had blundered. The word 
"cats" should have been "oats." Perhaps he also learned that 
Cleveland is not in the state of Pennsylvania! 



CONDUCT AND CHARACTER-BUILDING 111 

A boy of sixteen once read in one of Shakespeare's plays 
(see "The Winter's Tale") something about a ship reaching 
the coast of Bohemia. Investigation revealed to him the fact 
that Shakespeare blundered — Bohemia has no sea-coast. 

Asking questions is a great help in the direction of sound 
thinking. Perhaps you are going to take a walk with your 
father, who is a very wise man. Be sure and have a lot of in- 
telligent questions to ask him about birds and trees and flowers 
and fish. Then when you get home, read the two chapters 
"Walks with a Naturalist" and "Nature-Study at the Seaside" 
in Volume V of the Library. 

There is food for thought everywhere, in books and rimning 
brooks, in business and in pictures, in earth and sea and sky. 
Think! think! forever think! 

You will be helped and inspired as a thinker by reading any 
of the life-sketches of great men and women in our Library, 
especially the biographies of Franklin, Carlyle, Newton, Lydia 
Maria Child, Margaret Fuller Ossoli, and Elizabeth Barrett 
Browning. Look up the chapter on "The Habits of Ants" 
in Volume VIII and think about it. Become thoroughly 
familiar with the following myths in Volume II, thinking about 
them, asking questions, and consulting the dictionary: "Proser- 
pina," "Orpheus," "The Apples of Idun," "The Vision of 
Tsunu," and "Hiawatha." 

Many of the poems in Volume XI contain profound thought. 
At random we select a few for study: "The Rhodora," 
"A Forest Hymn," "To a Skylark," "The Tiger," and 
"Daffodils." 

A quaint old poet wrote a verse that seems very simple — 
almost silly — ^but there is thought in it after all. Perhaps you 
will find it in Volume I of the Library. 

"If I was a cobbler it should be my pride 

The best of all cobblers to be; 
If I was a tinker, no tinker beside 

Should mend an old kettle like me. ** 

To be a first-class cobbler, or tinker, or teacher, or stenog- 
rapher, or farmer, or merchant, or civil engineer, or poet, you 
must "think hard and think straight and think all the time!" 



112 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

Children — young folks — you have the power to think. Ypu 
can use this power in any way you choose. Others cannot think 
for you any more than they can eat for you. Only by thinking 
rightly can you become good and true and noble in conduct and 
in character. Take some time each day — if only three or four 
minutes— to let your mind dwell upon some good thought or 
lofty ideal. Ask your parents or friends or teachers how you 
can control and develop your thought-power. 

We hope that some boy who reads this will say to himself, 
"I have made up my mind to sit alone every day and think a 
good thought for at least five minutes." We hope that many 
boys will do this, and many girls too! 

In Volume X of the Library the essay " How Shall we 
Learn to Think?" will be found very helpful. 

^^v $3^ ^3^ 



THOROUGHNESS 

THERE is one quality which ought peculiarly to be im- 
pressed upon the young people of this day, when so 
many different kinds of things axe put before them in bewilder- 
ing rapidity, and that is thoroughness. Every lad and lassie 
should have a specialty, known from A to Z, if it be no more than 
making fudge or rearing rabbits. Let each one choose some- 
thing within his means and become master of it. It is better 
to know a few things well than to have a wide range of half- 
knowledge. "We cannot help feeling contempt for things 
that are only half what they pretend to be; we cannot be con- 
tent unless our treasures are real and valuable. We do not 
rate very highly any professions which have not acts of sincerity 
behind them. " So speaks Miss Farmingham, and the sentiment 
might be greatly expanded. A man of business who only half 
attends to his calling is certain to lose both credit and trade. 
If he would succeed he must remember the divine injimction 
"Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might." 
Such a man will demand of his workmen in turn that each one 



CONDUCT AND CHARACTER-BUILDING 113 

carry through to the very end the task for which he is paid — 
and pick up his chips besides. Therefore let all who have any- 
thing to do with home lessons inculcate thoroughness in all 
things. Teach the children from the beginning to complete 
what they begin — 'to "make a good job" of it. 

Under "Honor," and "Honesty," the student will find a 
number of references that apply to the trait under consideration. 
A few more may be added here. In Volume I read "Do the 
Best you Can," "The Nail," and "The Husband Who was to 
Mind the House. " Entertaining lessons with point are " Dicky 
Random," and "Busy Idleness" in Volume III. Our chapter 
from "Tom Brown's School Days" in Volume IV is good, 
wholesome narrative. In Volume IX read and re-read "The 
Start and the Goal" and "Prospects and Salary." 



TRUTHFULNESS 

PARENTS are distressed to find that their children seem 
addicted to falsehood from their earliest years. Some 
psychologists have gone so far as to assert that it is an innate 
and universal vice; but theorists are often wrong. A child 
which has been treated with frankness, has not been too sternly 
repressed, or frightened by a discipline it could not under- 
stand, is candor and sincerity itself: indeed it is often too can- 
did, telling with an embarrassing frankness of things it has seen 
or heard. How imaginative children invent weird tales, and 
relate them as truths, has been elsewhere described; but it is 
not long, under patient tuition, before they recognize and 
confess these "make-believe" yams. Real falsehood, inten- 
tional deception, is bom only of fear, or else is imitative. There 
are exceptions, of course, to be dealt with according to each 
case, but that is the rule. The boy's mischievous misquotation: 
"A lie is an. abomination in the sight of the Lord, but a very 
present help in time of trouble, " exactly states youth's doctrine 
before strong principles have become his guide of action. The 
conclusion is forced upon us that real lying in young children 



114 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

is in most cases the parents' fault rather than their own. 

"If treated with kindness," declares M. Compayr^, a 
French student of juvenile development, "the child remains 
trusting and sincere; if terrified by our severity he dissembles 
and he lies. 'Who has broken this piece of furniture?' we cry 
out in anger. The little culprit, frightened, answers, 'It was 
not I.' It would be better, says Miss Edgeworth, to be re- 
signed to having things broken than to put the child's sincerity 
to the test. As, unfortunately, this advice is often neglected, 
as too many parents scold unceasingly, right or wrong, the child 
covers his weakness with falsehood as with a buckler. " Again, 
your little one must not be expected to be truthful unless you 
are. If he overhears you, or your friends and servants, making 
deceptions, telling white lies, if not black ones, he will naturally 
conclude he may do the same to hide a fault or avoid an incon- 
venience. Even more important is it that you should be en- 
tirely truthful with him. Keep your promises to the letter, 
or explain your failure to his satisfaction. "Some persons 
say they never lie except to children. By this they mean, of 
course, that they imagine a lie to a child is sometimes defensible 
because it seems necessary. But," says Mrs. Allen, "this is a 
policy which arises from timidity rather than wisdom. There 
is always some way of telling the truth which is fitted to the 
child. . . Since we are very particular that children shall tell the 
truth to us, and since we find it exceedingly inconvenient and 
exasperating if they do not, it is as well to show them by 
our own example what we mean by always telling the 
truth. " 

That mother was happy who overheard a playmate say to 
her little daughter, "Let's go and ask your mother; she won't 
fool us. " 

Truthfulness is closely akin to "Honesty" so we refer the 
reader to references given imder that head. Besides this we 
call attention to "The Boy Who Never Told a Lie, " in Volume I, 
and "Trial, " in Volume III. " Wee WiUie Winkie, " in Volume 
IV, is a brave little truth-teller. In Volume IX read the life- 
sketches of Washington and Carlyle. In Volume X Jum to the 
article " lustice and Truth. " 



CONDUCT AND CHARACTER-BUILDING 115 



WORK 

OH, mamma! Don't you just hate to do that?" said the 
dainty, small daughter, as she watched her mother 
washing up the baking-dishes. 

"Why no, dear, I don't. I like to work for the people I 
love," said the mother. 

The daughter spent a moment deep in childish reflection, 
and then she remarked that she believed she would dust the 
dining-room chairs while mother finished the kitchen work. 

Let the little ones work with you as soon as they can, Zelia 
Margaret Walters advises readers of "The Mothers' Maga- 
zine, " even if their childish awkwardness does hinder more than 
help for a while, and let them see always a cheerful, faithful 
performance of every duty. The reward will come by and by 
when the children grow older with the spirit of helpfulness 
firmly fixed in them. Then they can be entrusted with parts 
of the work, and the mother can be sure it will be done faithfully. 

In training little children the mother should see that the 
task is suited to the child's endurance. If you give a little girl 
a great tableful of dishes to wash, you need not be surprised if 
she becomes fretful before she is done. A child's enthusiasms 
are short-lived, and a child's task should be something that can 
be finished before it becomes wearisome. 

Parents must be careful to give the children tasks that are 
suited to their age. The thought that they are working for 
mother, for those they love, will be an inspiration. At three or 
four years of age they can begin to help older people by dusting, 
brushing up, helping with dishes, etc. At four or five years of 
age they can make presents for friends. From six to nine they 
can begin to do "chores" regularly, to dig in the garden, to 
do weeding, to do ironing, to wash dishes, and to care for small 
animals. From nine to fourteen they can begin and continue' 
housework, taking care of large animals, washing clothes, cut- 
ting grass, pruning trees, hoeing, sewing by hand or on a ma- 
chine, general care of the house, and many other things, de- 
pending on their home and surroundings. Both boys and girls 



116 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

should be taught to be helpful and useful, and, if possible, to 
love work — ^that is, really to enjoy the work they are doing. 

In early years children should be taught that all honest work 
— ^be it work of the hands or work of the brain — is noble and 
proper and honorable. To be a drone, to be a loafer, is mean 
and ignoble. They should be shown that all great and success- 
ful men and women have been great workers — that they will 
succeed in proportion as they work with hands or brain. And 
so they should be taught to do honest work in mastering school 
and college studies, and in reading good books. 

To encourage the spirit of work in young children, brain- 
work as well as physical work, we suggest the following stories 
and poems in the Library: "How Doth the Busy Little Bee," 
Volume I, and other little poems in the same department. In 
Volume XI in the department entitled "Work and Industry" 
are the following: "The Builders," "Labor," "A Psalm of 
Life," and "Address to the Indolent." 

In Volume IX the older girls and boys should read the lives 
of such noble workers as Abraham Lincoln, Louisa May Al- 
cott, Daniel Webster, Theodore Roosevelt — ^they should read 
these life-sketches carefully and thoughtfully, and then — ^read 
them over again. In Volume III there are several of the best 
Robinson Crusoe stories which children always enjoy, and which 
illustrate the spirit of work under misfortune. In Volume III 
there is also an admirable story illustrating this subject entitled 
"Amendment." 

"The heights by great men reached and kept, 
Were not attained by sudden flight. 
But they, while their companions slept, 
Were toiling upward in the night. 



DEVELOPMENT AND DISCIPLINE 



THE CHILD'S PHYSICAL START IN LIFE 

BY CAROLINE BENEDICT BURRELL 

ONE of the great facts of our time is the raising of the 
physical standard for the entire generation by the pre- 
vention and cure of disease. We no longer regard poor diges- 
tions and weak nerves as disciplinary arrangements of Provi- 
dence, to be accepted imcomplainingly, but if we find ourselves 
handicapped by them we discover their cause and correct it. 
Better than this, we so start our children in life that they may 
avoid these and other evils and have sound nerves, strong diges- 
tions, and vigorous brains as a matter of course. 

Health the First Care. — ^It is an imfortimate fact that Ameri- 
can children come into the world over-intelligent, restless, too 
attractive; and it flatters our vanity to have this so. We so 
admire and stimulate them by every contact with them that we 
increase the very nervousness we deprecate in our saner mo- 
ments; and with which later on we have to struggle. The great 
problem of the mother who means to have strong sons and 
daughters is so to fight this tendency to a too early development 
that the nerves on the surface may gradually disappear, and 
the precocious child may become a mere healthy little animal 
all through its early years; and for this fight it must have four 
things to help it: quiet; sleep; fresh air; and digestible food. 

The Necessity of Quietness. — It is only the most unselfish 
of mothers who will systematically keep the baby quiet and 
forego her delight in watching his display of cunning ways, and 
relegate him to what one wise woman has called, "a warm, safe, 
happy background." It is such a joy to play with him, to toss 
and cuddle him, to see his eyes grow bright and hear him laugh 
aloud, that it takes Spartan self-control to let him lie peace- 
fully by himself most of the time, and when she is with him to 

117 



118 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

restrain herself from exciting his little brain, all too ready to 
wake up and be amused. But how it pays! The nervous little 
baby who starts at every sound, seems not to know how to 
sleep for any length of time, cries from over-fatigue, and cannot 
digest his food, may be transformed into a child who sleeps 
twelve hours at a time, eats everything given him and only wishes 
it were more; one who is calm, robust, and generally delightful, 
if only from the first he is well trained. 

Often the mother of a first child will declare that no one 
shall share with her the sacred care of her own baby; she, and 
she alone, can be trusted to bathe and feed him, to watch over 
him from night till morning and from morning till night. But 
unfortunately, she had reckoned without counting the physical 
cost to herself of this constant devotion. The strain of watch- 
ing and nursing him at night so tires her after a time that she 
wakes exhausted in the morning, and finds it impossible to be 
well-poised and cheerful with him all day; and so, little by little, 
as the care increases and her strength lessens, she makes him 
more and more nervous. It is far better, both for mother and 
child, to divide the work with some placid, trustworthy German 
or English woman; she rests him and quiets him as his high- 
strung, emotional, and imaginative mother cannot. 

But where this is impossible, or even with it, the baby should 
at least be kept by itself much of the time, and when with others 
it should not have their entire attention. A woman who had 
eight children was asked how it was that all of them were so 
strong and nerveless; her reply was that each of them had spent 
the first six months of its life in a deep clothes-basket. This 
meant, it seemed, that they were kept apart from others, lying 
peaceful and contented, well fed and cared for, sleeping or 
dozing the greater part of the time, away from all noise and ex- 
citement; and so they acquired steady nerves. 

Importance and Valtie of Sleep. — ^With this quietness it 
should be comparatively easy to give the baby plenty of sleep, 
but here mothers, especially young mothers, make a mistake. 
They do not get the child to sleep early enough in the evening, 
but keep it up, possibly till seven o'clock, or even later, and 
during the day they are careless how much or little sleep it 



DEVELOPMENT AND DISCIPLINE 119 

actually gets; if it takes any nap at all, that in itself seems 
sufl&cient, no matter whether it is a short or long one. But a 
baby needs unlimited quantities of sleep; it cannot have too 
much, provided it takes it imder good conditions. At night 
it should be imdressed early, not later than half past five, bathed, 
rubbed, dressed in light, warm night-clothing, made perfectly 
comfortable, and then fed and put down in a darkened room to 
go to sleep by itself. 

If this habit is begim at the very beginning of the baby's 
life, it will never rebel because it will never know any other way 
of going to sleep; but if it is kept up till it is overtired, and played 
with till it is wakeful, and then put down alone, a hard cry will 
imdoubtedly result, and perhaps a struggle begin which it will 
take years to settle. It is a temptation to a mother to rock her 
baby to sleep and sing to it, and the baby enjoys it quite as much 
as the mother. Yet, if she is truly xmselfish she will deny her- 
self and her baby, and by starting it right she will lay foimdations 
for after life which will be invaluable. 

As to naps, those necessarily grow shorter as the child grows 
older, till from taking two a day it takes but one, and then at 
perhaps four years, none at all. But at first these should be 
planned for and never unnecessarily shortened. 

Side by side with the quiet and sleep a child needs, comes 
the need of fresh air; to-day we are learning that this is one of 
the great necessities of life; and yet even now, knowing this, too 
many babies get very litde of it. A mother with one servant 
or none at all and many household cares, cannot spend her time 
on the street wheeling the baby carriage; so the child lives the 
greater part of its time indoors. And yet this is both unnecessary 
and wrong, for even with cramped surroundings it can practi- 
cally be out of doors by itself. 

Fresh Air Required. — When there is an available porch, this 
can be screened off, and a little bed put out there for haps, and 
also for the child to sit and play in. In summer a carriage 
is not a good thing to use because the pillow underneath the 
body over-heats it. If possible, all through the warm weather 
the child should sleep out on the porch all night, in this little bed. 

Where there is no ready-made place for the bed and none 



120 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

can be made, then at least a room should be set aside for the 
baby to sleep in, which shall have its windows kept open day 
and night; even in winter, if it is well wrapped up and has a hot 
water botde near — ^noton — its feet, it will sleep and grow strong 
as it cannot in a heated room even though the windows are kept 
open slighdy, because the air there cannot be as fresh. The 
tiniest baby, well protected, may sleep out of doors during the 
day, and in simmier during the night as well, in perfect safety. 
It is of the greatest importance that it should spend every pos- 
sible moment in the open air. 

Infant Diet a Science. — As to food for the litde child, here 
too, we have advanced with strides of late. No longer do we 
follow traditions, or "use our judgment," in feeding him. In- 
stead, the doctor tells us exacdy what to give, and how much 
at a time, and at what stated intervals, and we follow his di- 
rections. Even with no doctor at hand, there are books to be 
had which tell these things so clearly that any one can use them. 
Nothing pays better than the scrupulous preparation of a baby's 
food, the exact combinations of milk and water and strained 
cereal and all the rest of the items which take time and care. 
The second summer loses its terrors when from the first 
the baby has been fed with close attention to such details. Now- 
adays there is no excuse for hit-or-miss feeding such as was 
formerly tried; there should be no giving of undiluted cow's 
milk to the baby whose mother cannot nurse him, nor any 
feeding of him whenever he cries, or such obsolete follies. 
With perfect care in following intelligent rules a child may have, 
and will have, a strong, fauldess digestion as it grows up. 

»• »• »• 
THE FOOD OF THE GROWING CHILD 

BY CAROLINE BENEDICT BURRELL 

IT may be taken for granted that every mother intends 
conscientiously to give her children wholesome food, but 
unluckily, we are not all of us certain to-day just what whole- 



DEVELOPMENT AND DISCIPLINE 121 

V 

some food is. The discussions on food questions fill our daily 
papers, and books are written on vegetarianism, Fletcherism, 
and all the other "isms" till often we are bewildered. And 
yet there are some guides to help us. One of these is the 
certainty that plain food is decidedly more wholesome for chil- 
dren than that which is rich; another is that fruit, ripe, fresh 
or cooked, must also be good; and a third is that no one child 
needs exactly what every other child needs. 

It is practically impossible that an entire family should have 
the same bill of fare, for what is wholesome for one adult may 
not be for another, and what an adult may eat with safety the 
stomach of a child cannot digest. This on the face of it compli- 
cates the housekeeping problem at once. But it pays to put 
one's best thought to the matter, and so plan out meals that the 
children shall have a generous, substantial diet which will not 
grow monotonous day after day, but will be always appetiz- 
ing and nourishing. 

Some things children are sure to thrive on: milk soups, 
boiled rice, soft-boiled eggs, whole-wheat bread, baked apples, 
custards, and stewed fruits; and these may serve as a sort of 
starting place. In addition to them there may be well-cooked 
cereals; some of them, oatmeal, particularly, strained of its 
tiny sharp points by passing it through a cheesecloth; others 
served as they are, but all cooked for a long time, never served 
after being simply warmed, or cooked only twenty minutes. 

Breakfast Dishes for Children. — ^These, with cream or milk, 
make a good beginning for a breakfast. When they pall on 
the appetite, stewed figs or dates may be added for a change, or 
scraped maple sugar given for a treat, though sugar on cereals 
as a rule must be denied. 

Eggs may follow the cereal, and a hot drink in winter, cocoa, 
or milk, or some simple cereal coffee, but never real coffee or tea 
till after the child has passed into adult life. Toast, or some- 
times corn-meal mush, lightly fried may also be given, but not grid- 
dle cakes or other hot bread, imless sparingly, once in a while. 
As to meat, broiled bacon is an excellent breakfast dish for chil- 
dren, but meat in gei;ieral is better left off the bill of fare. With 
the cereal, eggs, and fresh cooked fruit, it will not be necessary. 



122 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

Luncheon and Dinner. — For the noon meal, the old plan 
was always to give a hearty dinner. Nowadays it is considered 
doubtful whether this is the best plan. Where a child comes in 
from school and eats hurriedly, the meat and vegetables and 
pudding are tolerably sure to be swallowed too hastily for prop- 
er digestion. It is usually better to give something simple 
and very nourishing, and reserve the heavier things for another 
hour. 

Strong meat soups with vegetables, split-pea puree, or corn 
soup made with rich milk, with baked potatoes, or rice, and 
perhaps a custard pudding, or fruit, will usually form a good 
limcheon for a child. Then, if he can have a hot meal at night, 
a broiled chop, or a bit of steak,. or roast, chewed slowly, with 
simple vegetables and a plain pudding or more fruit again, this 
will be better for him to sleep on than the old-fashioned supper 
of bread and milk, which for the growing boy or girl is not 
enough. Of course heavy puddings or pies must not be given 
at night, or large slices of roasts with gravy, and richly made 
dishes; but a plain hot meal is better than a cold one for any 
child, provided he is sturdy, and old enough to have such 
things properly. 

The normal child will of course wish for sweets, and he must 
have them; if they are denied him at home the craving will 
induce his accepting them elsewhere, and probably in large 
quantities at times. He should have good, simple candy after 
a meal rather often; molasses bars, marshmallows, simple sweet 
chocolate and peanut brittle will not hurt him at the proper 
time and in a moderate quantity. 

The School Luncheon, — It is a pity that children need ever 
take luncheon to school, for too often the sandwiches and cake 
and other things are not at all what they really need. When 
this cannot be avoided, the mother must make a study of pos- 
sibilities, and try to give as nourishing food as possible. Whole 
wheat is better than white bread, but both may be used rather 
than one. Rich cake should be avoided, but ginger-snaps and 
sugar-cakes and little spice-cakes can take their place. Some- 
times a bottle of milk will be accepted, or a bottle of cocoa may 
be put in to be heated at school. Fruit may always be added 



DEVELOPMENT AND DISCIPLINE 123 

to the other things, and a delightful surprise in the shape of a 
half-dozen candies will help the rest of the food go down. There 
is nothing more wearisome than putting up school luncheons, 
unless it is eating them; but when the inevitable has to be met, 
it is wise to deal with it as intelligently as possible. 

Adapting the Diet to the Child, — Special children need 
special food, and one of the things a mother has to study is 
just what each child ought to have in its dietary. One child 
may be anemic, and this one must have milk and beef juice 
and the vegetables containing iron; another may be nervous, and 
need food containing phosphates; a third may have a tendency 
to tuberculosis, and he needs fatty foods, — cream and butter 
and oil. One may have poor teeth, and he must have foods with 
lime in them, and one may have nervous dyspepsia, and he must 
have things very easily assimilated. Of course such trouble 
ought not to be; yet there they are at times, and the facts must 
be met and dealt with. The reward for the mother's care in 
this respect is sure to come in after years, for with watchful 
feeding she can and will give all her children good, sound 
stomachs, and properly nourished bodies. 

A lack of variety in a child's diet is a fatal fault, for the best 
of foods becomes distasteful and fails to nourish if it appears 
too often on the table. A monotonous diet is really in the long 
run as bad as one that is unwholesome in itself. There must be 
constant change in the menus prepared for the family or else the 
hungry child will eat things between meals which are bad for 
him, or bolt the food on the table merely to get rid of it as quickly 
as possible. 

Curiously enough, the stomach fails to increase in strength 
if it is given simple food alone, when it has grown beyond that. 
A growing boy, fed only soft cereals and boiled eggs and custards, 
will in time develop dyspepsia, because he needs something 
better suited to him. After five years at least, hearty food is 
demanded; meats, vegetables and plain desserts must be added 
to the simple things, and if all is masticated properly it will be 
digested. Naturally in any family there will often be food on 
the table which the growing child must not have. Sometimes the 
denial may be only in part, and the mother may say, " We will 



I 
I 

124 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

save you some for to-morrow"; but sometimes the "no" must 
be final, and then the child must learn to give up cheerfully, be- 
cause he belives that as he grows older, he, too, may have what 
the rest have. 

Admonition as to Table Manners. — ^There should be just 
a word as to table manners. Rudeness even in a little child 
should never be countenanced, and though one may not be 
deft and tidy in early childhood, yet with care, even a small 
child may learn to be quiet and dainty at the table. Constant 
correction is decidedly unpleasant all around, but if one has 
to take a meal or two in the nursery because he has not behaved 
well at the general table for a day, an improvement will date 
from that moment. Certainly nothing can be more unpardon- 
able than careless table manners as one grows out of childhood, 
and the conscientious mother must not fail to train her children, 
while they are still small enough to learn, that courtesy to others 
demands that they should observe the proprieties from the very 
first. 

f^ f^ f^ 



THE CHILD'S DRESS 

BY CAROLINE BENEDICT BUKRELL 

AMERICAN extravagance nowhere so runs riot as in the 
way our children are clothed. Not even on the boule- 
vards of Paris does one see such beautifully dressed, and such 
extravagantly overdressed, little ones, as are met everywhere 
in the streets and parks of our cities. Our shop windows are 
full of exquisite bonnets of tulle and rose-buds for little heads, 
and tiny silk petticoats, embroidered gowns, white silk coats and 
a thousand other lovely, expensive, and foolish things. The 
very immigrants who land on our shores are infected, and it is 
no uncommon sight to see a mother in peasant costume with a 
shawl over her head, carrying a child in a dress of soiled white 
openwork, with a hat gay with fragile flowers — ^things im- 
dreamed of in her home. 



DEVELOPMENT AND DISCIPLINE 125 

Our common sense seems to vanish when we shop for our 
children. We rarely hesitate over a fashion, no matter how 
extreme it is; when large hats are in vogue, we buy the largest 
ones we can find for our little girls, or when Eton collars are 
spread out for small boys, we never wonder whether they will 
be comfortable or becoming, but at once take half a dozen home 
because they are to be worn by all the small boys in town. We 
are tempted by each new season to some fresh absurdity or new 
extravagance; we do not ask for the sensible thing any more, 
but only for the very latest. 

Comfortable Dress for Boys. — In dressing a little boy, at any 
rate, one cannot afiford to dispense with the simple things he 
likes. There are always corduroys and tweeds to be had, and 
tam-o'-shanters, or some other easy sort of cap for his head, 
and shirt-waists, knickerbockers, and other things he approves 
of. Of course he must have a "best" suit, but at least it can 
be something not too conspicuous. The Little Lord Fauntleroy 
styles have gone out, forever let us hope, and velvet and lace and 
long curls are things of the past. White piqu^ suits for very 
small boys and something equally good and simple for the older 
ones are far less exasperating to boyish feelings. 

Clothing for boys should certainly be comfortable, whether 
it is fashionable or not. A certain judge was recently asked, 
"What is your most vivid recollection of your childhood?'' 
"The seams, in my trouser-legs," he ruefully answered. A 
boy's shoes should be large enough and of good shape, his 
collars well fitted, his suit neither too heavy nor too light for the 
weather, and his sleeves long enough to look well. Fashion 
should have little or nothing to say to his everyday clothes, and 
the mother who demands that one season he shall wear leather 
leggings from hip to ankle and another that kilts and bare knees 
shall be the rule, makes a serious mistake. He should wear 
what he can play ball in with ease to his mind and body; some- 
thing which mud will not ruin, and fences will not too-easily 
tear. A boy suffers more from being over-dressed than a grown 
person sometimes guesses, and it is better to preserve his temper 
in good shape than his raiment. If sometimes, at church or a 
party or dancing school, he must be made uncomfortable by 



126 , THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

having on clothes which he despises for being too good, at 
least on every-day occasions he should not be tormented by 
being unnecessarily fussed over. 

Tasteful Clothes for Little Girls. — Dressing a little girl, how- 
ever, is no such simple matter. Of course, first of all her cloth- 
ing must be healthful; warm enough, light enough, and not too 
tight an)rwhere for perfect ease; but quite aside from this, it 
should be attractive. A girPs dress is a means of education to 
her, and her good taste in any direction in after life depends 
largely upon her being dressed appropriately and daintily in her 
early girlhood. This does not mean that her clothing need be 
expensive. It costs no more to buy a winter dress of soft, 
dull green and blue plaids, than one of scarlet and yellow, but 
the difference is vast on the mind of the child. Her ribbons 
of colors which harmonize with her gowns are quite as easy 
to get as those in violent contrast with them. One girl whose 
mother always told her that nothing mattered in her clothing pro- 
vided it was whole and neat, and who wore dresses of hideous 
colors, sashes of rainbow hues, and ginghams with stripes where 
tucks had been let down, said when a woman, "I simply 
have no taste in dress; I blush to see myself in the glass to-day, 
and my mother did me an injustice when she let me grow 
up so indifferent to everything of the kind." 

Cultivating Good Taste. — A mother owes her child a duty 
in such ways. She should train her eye to see and enjoy beauti- 
ful colors and artistic cuts quite as much as she should teach her 
to be tidy and clean. It is not necessary to let a child become 
over-careful in such ways, or vain of her pretty things; if cloth- 
ing is not spoken of except incidentally, and good, appropriate 
things are chosen as a matter of course, she will simply accept 
them and her taste will be educated without her knowledge. 
There is far less harm in following this course than the other. A 
child becomes painfully self-conscious when she sees the differ- 
ence in her own dress and that of other children; if she is over- 
dressed and conspicuous in any way, she suffers from it. Loud 
colors and startling effects first give a child the effect of vul- 
garity and then, too often, make her vulgar. There is a dis- 
tinctly refining influence in quiet, well-chosen clothing. It 



DEVELOPMENT AND DISCIPLINE 127 

does not follow that such dressing is necessarily economical; it 
may be or it may not be. One can put more money in a sheer 
lawn trimmed with hand embroidery than in a dress covered 
with lace ruflSes. But a child may be distinctly well dressed 
on a small sum; it is not the cost of the materials or work which 
makes them tasteful, but the choice of goods and cut. 

As to the ethics of dress, here too, one may well stop and 
consider. If it is immoral to put too much money in clothes, as 
it surely is, how about the time a mother often spends on making 
them? If her health sufiFers from long hours over the sewing 
machine, have her children any right to elaborate clothes? 
Should she sacrifice both time and money foolishly merely to 
stimulate their vanity or her own ? Certainly she has a duty to 
them in this respect. They must be taught that there are 
things more important than clothes, the health and time of their 
mother , and that these must not be sacrificed needlessly. It 
is better to wear a frock out of season than to have a mother sit 
up at night to get it done for some special occasion. 

Simplicity in Clothing. — Fortunately, as a solvent to these 
problems of dress comes in the new fashion of simplicity for 
children. Even the very rich do not overload their little ones 
to-day as they did recently. One millionaire in showing his 
lovely new home to a friend opened a hall door on a playground 
where half a dozen children were making mud-pies and climbing 
fruit-trees, and all of them, boys and girls alike, were dressed in 
blue denim bloomers. The day of what has been well called 
"the white plague,^' is rapidly going, let us hope. Nothing 
could be more painful to a lover of children than to see them all 
dressed in snowy coats, dresses and hats, forbidden to nm or 
play lest they tumble or soil their spotless clothes. 

One of the signs of good breeding is an absolute unconscious- 
ness of what one has on. If a boy or girl habitually wears 
simple, but appropriate clothing to school or play or church, and 
if little or nothing is said about it, this sign should not be lacking 
in later years. To be dressed with due regard to the prevailing 
fashion but never with regard to its extremes; to be simply, 
comfortably, prettily gowned, in good taste if not in costly materi- 
als, is to grow up without that intense interest in clothes which 



128 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

we deprecate in so many to-day. To be over-dressed is never 
to be well dressed, and to teach one's children how to follow the 
golden mean of good taste is well worth the thought of mothers. 

«3» »^ 1^ 
THE CHILD'S ROOM 

BY CAROLINE BENEDICT BURRELL 

AS soon as the child is old enough to leave the nursery it 
should, if it is a possible thing, have a room to itself. 
It is infinitely soothing to the nerves to have the peace and quiet 
of an imshared sleeping place, to have bureau drawers and closet 
all to oneself, and to have xmtouched places for one's own best- 
loved belongings. This may tend to selfishness, possibly, but 
that must be counteracted in some other way. Of course with 
a large nmnber of children this ideal of the separate room may 
not be possible; but at least two children can always have sepa- 
rate beds, and a certain amount of space kept sacredly for each 
in closet and bureaus; so much each has a right to have. 

Children's Rooms Should be Attractive. — It is not necessary 
that much money should be spent to give a child an attractive 
room; but it is really necessary that it should be one that is 
pretty and appropriate to his needs if he is to remember his 
home with affection. The old idea too many parents had that 
"anything will do for the children's rooms," is not to be men- 
tioned to-day. Anything will do better for any other room in 
the house than the room the children so soon grow out of and 
away from forever. 

There should be a plain floor-covering first of all; this may 
be a matting, or a surface of brown stain with a rug over it, 
but no worn out, flimsy carpet should be tolerated. It is easy 
enough to paint or stain the floor, and a hit-or-miss rag rug will 
do excellently if there is nothing better to lay down. Then as 
to furniture, by all means have narrow white iron beds if 
possible, not wooden ones. A coat of white paint can be put 
on whenever it is needed, and so they will always be fresh and 



DEVELOPMENT AND DISCIPLINE 129 

attractive. If a boy prefers a couch with a cover, then have it 
look as neat as may be, not spread up with unaired blankets 
day after day, but made up as a bed should be, with the cover 
laid on in the daytime only. 

The wall-paper should be appropriate to the room. If it is 
one with a cold, north outlook, never choose a blue paper, or 
one of pale green, but get a red or pink, or striped or flowered 
paper. For a girPs room a white ground covered with bright, 
good sized roses is always pretty; a boy will probably prefer a 
soft hunter's green, or an Indian red, and a plain, inexpensive 
cartridge paper is a good choice in this. 

Furniture and Conveniences, — ^The chairs in the room should 
be substantial, not fragile; old ones which have been set away, 
often may be painted white to match the bed and used again, 
especially if their seats are upholstered in a gay cretonne. A 
strong wicker chair of plain design is a delight, and for a boy, a 
heavy wooden rocker which will suffer all things without giving 
way, may be bought and painted to match the rest of the room. 

As to curtains, fresh air, especially at night, is a prime neces- 
sity in any bedroom, so they should not be heavy or too good; 
dotted Swiss makes good curtains, as they can be taken down 
and washed often. Over these chintz may hang in straight 
lines at either side of the window without keeping out the air, 
and with a plain paper nothing could be prettier. 

In some copier of the room there should certainly be what we 
call a shirt-waist box; that is, a strong, prettily covered box of 
mediiun size, which can hold blouses or shirts or other starched 
things without crushing them, and in addition can be used as 
a seat. Often these boxes are put in the window, but as rain 
is pretty sure sometimes to find its way in at night and ruin 
them, a comer of the room is a better place. 

The bureau in a child's room should not be ornate, but 
plain, yet it may be painted white and have a pretty cover of 
chintz or muslin, and a good glass. As a girl grows older it 
will be time enough to get a dressing-table for her; but a chest 
of drawers, not too high, with a plainly framed mirror over 
it, makes a delightful substitute, either for this or for a bureau. 
The washstand should never be set out with cracked or mis- 



130 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

mated china, but a simple, attractive set should be used, other- 
wise the delight in the room is at once spoiled for the child. 
One of the things which is most prized and remembered is a 
light, dainty bowl and pitcher, with a colored pattern matching 
the room. A set with rosebuds for a girPs pink room will never 
be treated carelessly. 

Books and Pictures, — A little writing desk, or a small table 
fitted out with writing materials, is a constant joy to either a 
boy or girl; a couple of coats of white paint will make almost 
anything look well, and a big sheet of blotting-paper of the 
tint of the walls, a plain glass inkstand and some inexpensive 
paper and envelopes will be a real delight. Over this desk may 
be a book-shelf; a long board fastened to the wall and painted 
white is good; or there may be a small book-case; but certainly 
there should be one or the other, to hold the child's own books, 
those he loves and reads again and again, and adds to from 
year to year. 

As to pictures, there need not be many, nor need they be 
costly, but for the sake of educating the child's taste they should 
be good ones. A girl will like a Madonna, an Italian peasant, 
a soft brown photograph of some lovely cathedral or city street. 
A boy will enjoy a Sir Laxmfal, some of Landseer's dogs, or a 
good picture of a harbor full of boats. 

Privacy Guaranteed. — In one comer of the room there should 
be a curtained book-case with shelves, kept for a child's own 
personal belongings; a boy's collections of abandoned birds' 
nests, butterflies or stones; or dolls and dresses, or whatever 
a girl treasures most. This should be sacredly kept, xmtouched 
by older hands. Besides this, there should be space if pos- 
sible for anything of especial value which the owner wants to 
have near by; perhaps a turning lathe, or a doll's bed, or what- 
ever seems most precious at the time; these will be outgrown 
and replaced by other things, but they should be kept in the 
child's own room, if there is where they are wanted, to give a 
delightful sense of proprietorship. 

On Saturday mornings both a boy and a girl should devote 
as much time as necessary to putting the room to rights. Some 
one else may perhaps sweep it, and wash the windows and do 



DEVELOPMENT AND DISCIPLINE 131 

such things, but the owner should be responsible for the order 
of the closet and bureau drawers, the dusting, the arranging and 
general care; nothing so trains a child to keep a room neat day 
by day as the knowledge that half a Saturday may have to be 
spent in setting it all to rights if it is neglected during the week. 
There should be one word said on another side of this ques- 
tion; that is, the respect the members of a family should have 
toward a child's room. Too often it is used by this or that one, 
perhaps to sew in, or to write in, when any other would do as 
well, and so the child loses that complete ownership which 
means so much to him. The right a child has to have its own 
room to itself is one not to be held lightly by the rest of the 
circle. 



THE CHILD'S PLAY AND PLAYMATES 

BY CAROLINE BENEDICT BURRELL 

AS the old man looks back on his boyhood, what stories 
does he tell? Not those of his struggles with the Rule 
of Three, nor of his early work on the farm or in the shop, but 
of the day he ran away from school and went fishing, or of his 
first glimpse of the circus; just as the white-haired grandmother 
tells the children at her knee of the games the girls played at the 
noon recess rather than of the patch-work she sewed at home. 
The plays and playmates of our youth leave ineffaceable memo- 
ries. Our children's first contact with their fellow-beings molds 
their characters; this makes their associations and amusements 
of the deepest importance. 

Self-amusenient the Best. — ^As the little ones emerge from 
babyhood, leaving their rubber dolls and blocks on the nursery 
floor, we are apt to give them, as substitutes, playthings that are 
valueless. A rich man recently built a magnificent home. 
One floor was an immense play-room for his five children, fitted 
up with every elaborate device for their entertainment, from a 
miniature steam-railway to a doll's house complete in its minu- 
test detail, besides every mechanical toy to be purchased. The 



132 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

children were first bewildered, then enchanted, then bored. 
Having seen the engine revolve on its iron track, and rear- 
ranged the furniture of the doll's house, and wound up the auto- 
matic toys, the children turned away and said, " Let's play some- 
thing!" 

There is the key to the question of a child's amusement: let 
it exercise its imagination and its ingenuity. How satisfac- 
tory it is to make a doll's house from a soap box, to cut real 
windows and drape them with bits of muslin, and to manufac- 
ture pasteboard furniture only that child can tell who has spent 
long, delightful days over it. The joy of whittling out a boat 
and rigging its sails far exceeds that a boy can feel who merely 
owns a boat that has been bought. To make dolls' dresses is 
better fun than to dress a doll in those alreadv made. Labo- 
riously to construct a kaleidoscope is more interesting than to 
turn roimd and roimd one purchased in a shop. Give a boy a 
tool-box, a scroll-saw, a turning-lathe, and teach him to use 
them; give a girl a stove which will really cook, and some little 
kettles and pans, and you have supplied them with endless 
sources of delight. To construct is the joy of the growing 
mind. It matters little if the results are crude or meager, the 
pleasure is as genuine as though one had painted pictures like 
Raphael's, or composed nocturnes like Chopin's. 

As the children grow older a whole vista of intellectual plays 
opens before them. To own a printing-press in common is an 
excellent thing. Paper money and cheques can be printed with 
which, with a little instruction, banks may be managed. A real- 
estate business may be conducted with hall lots and parlor 
building-sites advertised on posters; or, if these plays become 
too engrossing, and too serious an interest be shown in the 
amassing of fortunes, a story-book may be collaborated first, 
and then printed. Such a souvenir of childish companionship 
would be cherished most dearly in later years. The reading of 
''Little Women" will suggest the delights of a weekly newspaper 
patterned after the one the March sisters conducted so ably. 
There are endless uses to which one may put a small font of 
type; its very possession is inspiring. 

By all means let boys and girls share their plays as far as 



DEVELOPMENT AND DISCIPLINE 133 

possible. Brothers are too apt to feel that there are only a few 
pleasures that their sisters may have with them, when, rather, 
there are only a few which they may not. It is an important 
part of the education of boys and girls that they play together. 
Their differences of temperament and training are invaluable 
by way of exchange. 

When other games grow monotonous there is that Twenty 
Questions, which can be made to turn on any subject from Mother 
Goose to history or zo51ogy. This is really a most useful 
guide to knowledge, and interesting even to children of a larger 
growth. 

Contrasted with these plays, which are all for the house, are 
athletic and out-of-door sports of all sorts, but these need no 
suggestions. Baseball and hoop-rolling and wheeling and 
skating are all to be commended for the sake of fresh air and 
exercise, and a large proportion of a child's time should be 
spent over them. Nevertheless, the plays which trajn the 
mind should not be overlooked. The combination of the two 
kinds of amusements, physical and mental, is found in the 
"shows" all children love. The boys' circus, the girls' dramat- 
ic performance of "Cinderella," the minstrels — these must 
not be forgotten. No home should be too nice to be used, es- 
pecially if there are children in it. Better have your boy give 
a circus in your attic, or even in your dining-room, than in your 
neighbor's. Lend them your wardrobe and be their audience. 
Only see to it that pertness and love of display do not become 
too flagrant, and that no one child always takes the lead. 

The Question of Playmates. — This bringing of other children 
into the family circle suggests the whole question of playmates. 
With whom shall our children play? With the children of our 
social equals only? With those children alone whom we 
consider good? Or with the children of the neighborhood re- 
gardless of character and social conditions ? If one is to choose 
a home, the question of the children's social environment should 
always be considered. To buy a house and then forbid your 
child to play with the other children in the vicinity is asking too 
much of him. Choose carefully, if you have the opportunity 
of choice. If you have not, but must bring up yovr children 



134 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

where you happen to live, then a consistent line of conduct should 
be decided upon with regard to their playmates. 

The Neighbors' Children. — The first thing is to know them, 
and to do this you must see them in your own home. Ask them 
over on long rainy days and study them; invite them to a meal 
now and then; listen to what your child quotes from them. It 
is well to be on good terms with all of them, and let them feel 
welcome in your home. You will find, imdoubtedly, something 
in each child which you do not like, as other parents see things 
they dislike in yours. But since you cannot provide your boy 
or girl with angelic companionship here below, you must accept 
"heir little human companions as they are. Possibly, once in 
a lifetime, you will find a really bad child whom you must forbid 
the house, but ordinarily you will find other children much like 
your own. One must expect their little faults and do one's 
best to coimteract them. When necessary, speak of their short- 
comings frankly, and warn your child against them, but always 
make out as good a case as possible for the neighbors. 

We should be on our guard against the tendency to cultivate 
friendship for the sake of externals. If your child is inclined to 
dwell on the fact that its small friend has a beautiful home, or 
an abimdance of pocket-money, or noticeably fine clothes, 
always throw the emphasis where it belongs by inquiring as to 
its temper, its generosity, or its standing in school. Let your 
child see clearly that morals, mind, and manners are the really 
important things. If your social afl&liations do not belie your 
teachings, you will find his character influenced for a lifetime in 
this way. 

Having done your best to lay down principles of conduct for 
your boy and girl, let them associate freely with other children. 
They can learn to live only by living. You cannot always be on 
the watch. It is a mistake to coddle children too much; they 
must learn to accept the brimt of things and manage for them- 
selves. Listen to all they have to say, but train them to arrange 
their own affairs without imnecessary tale-bearing. Quarrels 
doubtless will come. The boys will fight sometimes, and the 
girls take their dolls and come home pouting, and then all the 
parent can do is to try to be not only fair, but magnanimous. 



DEVELOPMENT AND DISCIPLINE 135 

Point out the other child's position, and show that both are 
probably in the wrong. Above all, discourage grudges. In- 
culcate self-control and that spirit of generosity in dealing with 
others which will avoid disputes. 

Children get more moral training from their contact with 
other children than from almost any other source. This is their 
real life, their life of intense feeling and action, and for this rea- 
son parents should take their children's plays and playmates 
intelligently and seriously. We must teach our boys and girls 
alike that there may be evil in the words and ways of other 
children, and they must be pure; that there may be cowardice, 
and they must be brave; that there may be cruelty and selfishness 
and they must be kind and generous; that is our only safety from 
harm. We must also teach them that there is nobility in their 
playmates which they must strive to copy; to train them to be 
broad-minded and good. 

^V V* V* 

THE CHILD'S HOME 

BY CAROLINE BENEDICT BURRELL 

WHAT a child shall become depends largely, almost entire- 
ly, upon the atmosphere of its home. Environment, not 
heredity or temperament, in the long run settles the disposition 
and character. For this reason it is not enough to give a child 
a home of comfort alone; it is far more important to give him 
one which will develop the best in him. 

It is the mother more than the father who sets the keynote of 
family life. She is there when the father is necessarily away; 
usually, too, it is she who decides the small matters of training, 
and it is her disposition which determines whether the home 
shall be gay or sober, full of the duU spirit of work, or bright 
with the air of interest and amusement. That it is difficult 
for an over- worked mother — and what mother of small children 
is not over-worked ? — to maintain the highest ideals of personal 
conduct for herself and her family, there can be not the smallest 



136 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

doubt; but that this responsibility is hers must be admitted. 

Cheerfulness a Rule. — One mother said recently in a maga- 
zine article that if she were to begin over again her family life 
she woidd make its spirit that of deliberate cheerfulness. The 
phrase exactly describes the best possible atmosphere of a home; 
parents must not be guided by their feelings, the moods in- 
duced by cares and anxieties, but must deliberately, conscien- 
tiously be cheerful, if they are to have their children grow up 
with the light-heartedness youth should know. 

This does not mean that parents should keep from their 
children all knowledge of care, nor that the mother should spare 
them their rightful share of the burdens of the family. On the 
contrary, as they grow older they should be taken into the family 
councils and told of the money anxieties which may be pressing, 
that they may grow thoughtful and careful of their own ex- 
penses; and by all means they should bear their part in the work 
of the home; to save them these things would make them 
selfish; but the whole tone of the home life, in spite of them, 
should be bright. If the father is worried, so much the more 
reason when he comes home at night to make him happy; if the 
mother is tired, then by all means let everything be bright to 
cheer her. Even sorrow itself should not be allowed to darken 
the spirit of home life, but bereavement should be borne so 
bravely that the air of quiet happiness shoidd in some degree 
still exist. 

Children Shoidd Share Household Work. — ^The division 
of the work of a household should begin while the children are 
still very small. Even a five-year-old with a tiny dust-cloth 
can rub the rungs of the chairs, and will really enjoy feeling he 
is of use; and from that age on, there are plenty of light tasks 
which any child can do. A boy^s own room is to be kept in 
order; kindling-wood, perhaps, brought in in little bundles 
suitable to his strength, or waste-paper baskets emptied; a girl 
can begin to rub the silver with a bit of chamois and some polish 
when she is only a litde thing, and she will love to do it, especially 
if mother helps too. As to making beds and straightening 
rooms, she can be a perfect little maid before she is twelve, 
and never once feel herself abused because a trifle of housework 



DEVELOPMENT AND DISCIPLINE 137 

is expected of her daily. On the contrary, she will grow more 
and more to enjoy the home she helps keep clean and orderly. 

It is one of the greatest mistakes that a mother can make, to 
excuse her children from helping her in her daily tasks; nothing 
makes them grow up so hard, so bent on pleasure, as to let them 
have aU the easy times while their mother takes the burdens on 
her own shoulders and spares them. It is a cruel wrong to any 
child to let it know nothing of personal service in the home. 
But to have the tasks done willingly, and so as to be enjoyed, the 
mother must treat them as though they were light and easy by 
being cheerful herself in doing them, and so make them seem 
half play. 

Pleasures at Home. — The ideal home is one where a child^s 
friends are welcome. When the small children come in to play 
in the nursery, it means a great deal if the mother gives the 
visitors a cordial greeting, and if in addition she has always some 
clever ideas as to ways of amusing them. A tea-party is a joy for 
girls; an improvised circus for boys; a candy-pull for both to- 
gether; all these things make children feel that their home is the 
nicest place on earth, and look with pity on other children who 
are restricted when their visitors come. It is worth while to 
have the house upset for an afternoon to receive the reward of 
a grateful hug at the end and the exclamation, " Oh, we do have 
such a good time here!" It was Holmes who once said that his 
mother had a fixed rule that before going anywhere else after 
school he must come home, and it was only when he grew up 
that he imderstood that it was because she wanted to keep him 
there that she made it; she always had gingerbread ready for 
him and his friends, and when they had eaten it they decided 
to stay where they were rather than look farther for a good 
time. Such a clever bribe as gingerbread or its equivalent, 
makes a boy love to bring his friends to his house, and creates 
in him the pride of home which later will hold him strongly. 

Perhaps the most important thing next to unselfishness 
which home life must teach, is the habit of courtesy, and here 
the mother and father, must set an example, perhaps the father 
more than the mother. If he habitually addresses his wife 
with politeness and gives her a chair when she comes into the 



138 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

room, opens the door for her, lifts the heavy bundles, helps her 
in a thousand ways, the boys accept such things as a matter of 
course, and before they guess it, they have learned that impor- 
tant lesson of carefulness and thoughtfulness for those weaker 
than themselves. Saying "please" to a child, and "thank 
you," and "Won't you help me do this? "and all the little cour- 
tesies of daily intercourse, must be as natural as breathing to 
both parents if they desire to have their children gentle and 
considerate. 

Courtesy and Forbearance. — But in addition to these things, 
there should be a fixed rule in a family that no squabbling is 
to be tolerated. The child who begins to "talk back" to the 
other children and generally becomes quarrelsome, should be 
quiedy put by himself, as temporarily unfit to associate with 
his fellows. It is true that children, like all young, growing 
things, naturally struggle and push and squabble; even birds 
in their little nests do not always agree, the poet to the contrary 
notwithstanding. But if the atmosphere of the home is dis- 
tinctly against all such things, and if they are quietly suppressed, 
generally the children soon learn that politeness is expected as 
a matter of course, and they fall in with the idea. 

One thing a mother who sets for herself the ideal of cheer- 
fulness in home life wiU learn at the start is that too much 
correction must be avoided. Helen Hunt Jackson, in her wise 
little book "Bits of Talk About Home Matters," said that a 
child must never be corrected in public; even at the table, no 
matter how objectionable he might become, he must be rea- 
soned with not at the time, but later. That standard is a high 
one, one perhaps not always to be followed out in practical 
life, but still it is something to try to live up to. A child will 
often forget his promises made when talked to privately and do 
over again exactly what he has been told not to, but in the 
long run he will learn; meanwhile, the home is freed from the 
tone of admonition, which is infinitely irksome. 

Family Joys in Common, — The busiest family can always 
arrange to have a litde time together if only they plan for it, 
and this is one of the delightful things to remember when 
the home circle breaks up. A half-hour for reading aloud is 



DEVELOPMENT AND DISCIPLINE 139 

not much, but it is a joy to recall; a summer tea in the woods, 
a row on the river, an excursion to town, anything whatever, 
if it is only done as a family, serves to bind the members together 
and to let love deepen. The esprit de corps of family life is 
too rare, too precious to be missed. 

A certain mother of eight children, living in a small house 
with a tiny income, determined to give her children a beautiful 
home. The cares were shared with gaiety; their friends were 
welcomed at any hour with overflowing hospitality; their 
evenings were spent in reading together, or playing games, 
or singing; nothing was hard, because all were happy and 
light-hearted with their gay mother. Sorrows came and the 
family circle was broken, but they drew their chairs closer to- 
gether; one and another went out into the world, but came back 
so often that there was perpetual holiday; the shabby little 
house was never too small for children and grandchildren to be 
together. It was all done because the mother determined at 
the start to be resolutely cheerful and to make every one else 
cheerful, and that home was heaven on earth to all who knew 
it. 

«|S «|S «|S 

THE CHILD'S SCHOOL 

BY CAROLINE BENEDICT BURRELL 

THE child who can step straight from the nursery into 
that paradise, the kindergarten, finds itself ideally cared 
for and blissfully happy, in its quiet, simny rooms, with flowers 
and birds and stories and plays. Courtesy, unselfishness, and 
love are well taught, a love of music is cultivated, a sense of 
order and exactness axe inculcated and the powers of observation 
trained; could one ask for a better start on the way to a perfect 
education? 

The Home and the Kindergarten. — ^Yet sometimes it is 
difficult for the mother to keep up at home the standard set 
at the kindergarten; there the teacher has the child rested by 
a night's sleep, stimulated by childish companionship, awed 



140 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

into good behavior by the presence of other children, and 
entertained by constant devices. The mother receives it back 
into her home when reaction has set in, sometimes with severity. 
It is tired and relaxed, too often cross, and bored because it is 
no longer amused with deliberate purpose; and so the home 
suflFers in comparison with the little school. It is because such 
things as these often prejudice parents against the kindergar- 
ten lliat a mother should be the connecting link between the two. 
She should go there often, see that the room is not overheated, 
that the little eyes are not strained by sewing or pricking, and 
that the child is not overtired by too many exercises; at the same 
time she can learn how to amuse her child at home, and how to 
govern him in the moods of wilfulness which the teacher must 
encounter. It is as this connecting link that a parent must 
always stand between the child and any school. Many children 
never go to a kindergarten at all, but begin at once at the primary. 
It is not enough to pass him on from one grade to another and 
trust that aU will be well. The father or the mother or both — 
and preferably both — must be in close touch with him in every 
step of the way. 

Public vs. Private School. — ^At the outset comes the decision 
whether he is to go to a public or private school, and in diflFerent 
places schools diCFer so that each must be studied before a wise 
decision can be reached. For boys, the discipline of a public 
school is usually excellent. The spirit of democracy exists; 
the necessity for prompt obedience; the inability to be excused 
readily for tardiness or unprepared lessons; the general rigidity 
of the rules, all tend to make him prompt and exact, and teach 
him to get on with others. The text-books, too, are good, and 
the teaching exact and thorough. 

But sometimes a school is imsanitary, especially in a small 
town; it may be uhventilated, or the basement and dressing- 
rooms unclean; or the children, for one reason or another, kept 
back behind those in other schools. Such conditions should be 
studied by a parent, and he should be absolutely sure that the 
school is the best one for his boy. 

For a girl, sometimes a public school is the worst possible 
place. There may be a school-room so overcrowded that 



DEVELOPMENT AND DISCIPLINE 141 

three children must sit in seats intended for two; there may be 
light which is insuflScient for eyes not strong; some sensitive 
child may find a particular teacher so imsympathetic that she 
cannot do herself justice in recitation. Or, she may have to 
associate with girls of rough families who do her no good. On 
the other hand, she may find a public school where her own 
friends go, and where the conditions axe all sanitary and whole- 
some, physically and morally. It is impossible to generalize; 
but no school should be blindly accepted without any parental 
investigation. 

But the private school may not solve the problem of difficulty. 
Too often such schools teach but superficially, and the simple, 
plain rudiments of an education axe overlooked. Generally 
there are plenty of teachers for the number of pupils, and 
greater individual attention is given than in the public school; 
but on the other hand, tardiness, carelessness in preparation, 
and other shortcomings axe too easily excused, and maxks and 
reports axe apt to be far too flattering. These things oflFset in 
some degree the better ventilation and quietness secured by 
having the smaller numbers of pupils. 

There must be a constant watching by the parent of all 
details of either school. If a mother frequently and strenuously 
complains to a principal of a large public school of the sanitation, 
it is certain that in time she will carry her point and the evil 
be redressed. Or, if in the small private school she insists that 
tardiness must not be overlooked, or lessons glided over super- 
ficially, these defects, too, will be remedied. 

There exist in some cities clubs made up of parents and 
teachers which insure the very best things for a school. There 
are meetings for free discussion, papers on the relations between 
the home and school and kindred subjects, entertainments, 
the proceeds of which are used to beautify the buildings with 
pictures and casts; they are the best means to the end of the 
perfect school, and in any town, large or small, such clubs may 
be founded. 

Home Study. — Home work is one of the evils a parent has to 
meet all through a child's life. It is a pity that a small child 
should ever have to know its meaning, for after six hours in 



142 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

school, or even less, the rest of the day should be spent out of 
doors, or at home, playing. Where it must be faced, then at 
least the mother should see that the work is reduced to a mini- 
mum, and done under the most favorable conditions. 

No child should study after it has had its evening meal and 
is sleepy, and no child should come directly home to go to work 
after school hours. The best plan is to let him have a good 
play in the fresh air and then study just before supper in some 
quiet place where he will be undisturbed; by concentrating his 
attention he can accomplish twice as much in a short time as 
when half a dozen others are in the room. Next to sending the 
boy or girl to a good school, the greatest thing a parent can do for 
them is to see that they learn to study their lessons at home in the 
best possible way. Too many children spend twice, three times, 
as much time as necessary over home work, because they do it 
when sleepy, and in a dawdling, desultory way, knowing that 
they will be permitted to sit up till the lessons are pronounced 
finished. If only so much time was allowed for them, and that 
set apart at a time when their minds were fresh, and if when bed- 
time came they had to leave their books at once, they would 
soon learn to do their work promptly and so more faithfully. 

Help in School-Work. — ^The best help a parent can give a 
child in its work is to know his teachers, to invite them to the 
house, and talk the children over with them. This does away 
with what is a morbid idea on the part of so many, parents 
and children alike — that some teacher is unfair, or has a prej- 
udice, and that the child suffers for it. Free interchange of ideas 
between parents and teachers gives a fine, strong working basis, 
and advance is far more certain than when both are in the dark 
as to the way the child is being dealt with on one side or the other. 
Next to this, the best help is to show a deep interest at home in 
what is done in school, both in lessons and sport. If a mother 
really likes to hear how Columbus discovered America, she is 
planting a love of history in her child's mind; and if a father goes 
to the football match, he gets his boy's confidence about other 
things than are learned in books. Nothing takes the place of this 
personal parental touch. 

At the same time parents should be careful not to stimulate 



DEVELOPMENT AND DISCIPLINE 143 

personal vanity by foolish praise of school- work; nothing is 
pleasanter for a child than to consider itself a prodigy, and 
nothing easier. Fidelity to work, rather than achievement, 
is what should be praised, and a prize for good behavior should 
be quite as weU thought of as one for algebra. A word of 
appreciation for good work is better than constant reiteration 
that a child has a wonderful mind. To get along with the other 
children, to study faithfully and stand well, to be able to play as 
well as work — these are the beginnings of education. 

«Ji «Ji fS^ 

THE CHILD'S READING 

BY CAROLINE BENEDICT BURRELL 

THE modern mother is nothing if not systematic. Her . 
child's hours, its food, and its studies are all carefully 
planned to the smallest detail, yet when it comes to its reading 
she is told by some authorities that she should let the child itself 
take the lead. Not "what must children read," but "what 
will they read," is the question. A child should develop along 
its own lines as far as possible. To destroy its individuaUty, 
if that could be done, would be the greatest possible wrong. We 
can only look on, see the bent of the childish mind and, not 
by antagonizing it, but by training it, secure the best results. 
This is true of its reading more than of anything else. What 
is mental pabulum for one is husks for another. 

Juvenile Books Plentiful. — The child is initiated into litera- 
ture by way of "Mother Goose," "Red Riding-Hood," "The 
Three Bears," and "Cinderella," and naturally its imagi- 
nation develops first. It demands stories — fairy stories prefer- 
ably. Luckily for it, we have more to-day than ever before, and 
better ones. Andersen's and Grimm's are the simplest, then 
come Lang's "Red," "Blue," and "Green" books of the 
wonder-stories of all countries. These lead up to "Alice in 
Wonderland," "The Water Babies," and the stories by "Uncle 
Remus. " 



144 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

About this time the child's desire to investigate will make 
it desirous to know more about nature. Never were children 
so happy in their opportimities for this study as to-day. Our 
book-shelves are crowded with volumes each more delightful 
than the last. There is the series of stories for the smallest 
children, called "Feathers, Furs, and Fins"; there are those 
fascinating volumes, " Wild Animals I have Known, " " The Red 
Animal Book," "The Jungle Tales," and those charming com- 
panion volumes, "Among the Forest People" and "Among the 
Meadow People"; there are "The Bee People" and its sequel, 
and there are numberless books on birds. All of these are 
valuable, and the more of them children read the better. 

After this the- child will want books about other children — 
story-books; and good ones of this sort are not too easy to 
find. They are in the book-stores, but side by side with others 
that are sentimental, or too pathetic, or simply trashy. The 
only way to choose is to read for yourself before bu)ring. Do not 
fill your child's mind with rubbish. Know your author; see that 
the style is good, the matter simple and wholesome. It is a 
safe rule to reject nine books before taking the tenth. 

Instructive Interest of the Classic Tales. — It will be foimd 
that the famous stories are the best after all. "King Arthur" 
will hold the attention for a long period. The love for stories 
of adventure will become more pronounced after this is read, 
and then may come "Robinson Crusoe" and Church's "Stories 
from Homer and Virgil." In connection with these last two 
there may be some reading of mythology, beginning with iEsop's 
"Fables" and Hawthorne's "Wonder-Book." The simplified 
forms of the "Nibelungenlied" may follow these, and the 
stories from Norse folk-lore. There will certainly be a caU 
for stories about fighting, at this point, and the mother in grati- 
fying it may quietly introduce a little history. The tales of 
the Crusades and the life of Robin Hood and his "merrie men" 
will give a glimpse of England under Richard Coeur de Lion 
and John, and explain Magna Charta. After this the story of 
Raleigh and his adventures in South America will give interest 
to the beginnings of our own history. Nothing could be more 
fascinating than the exploits of Drake, of La SaUe, and of 



DEVELOPMENT AND DISCIPLINE 145 

Marquette, and the experiences of the early colonists. The 
French and Indian War is full of romantic incident, and so is 
the Revolution, from the Boston Tea-paxty to the treason of 
Arnold and the surrender of Comwallis. There are any nimiber 
of delightful books for children on all these subjects. 

The desire to know more of individual heroes will open the 
subject of biography, and the lives of Washington and Putnam, 
and after these the lives of Napoleon and Wellington, and 
those of the heroes of the War of 1812, may be read. The 
Henty books will be enjoyed along this line. 

Of course children will be interested in Indians. They will 
learn of Massasoit, Pocahontas, and Black Hawk in the course 
of their reading of history, and a little later they will delight 
in Cooper's novels. We know now that his might be called 
** wooden Indians" and are far from being true to life; never- 
theless they will serve. The real Indian will be found in Park- 
man's " Oregon Trail. " 

Romance and Poetry. — Probably before this your child will 
have been introduced to Shakespeare, either directly or by 
way of the "Tales" by Charles and Maiy Lamb. How early 
children should read Shakespeare is often discussed, but it is 
to be settled by the children themselves; they should read him 
just as early as they will. In that exquisite book "Captain 
January," the minister gives the old captain a Bible, a dic- 
tionary, and Shakespeare, as comprising a complete curriculum 
for little Starlight. If there is evil in Shakespeare, there is 
none which will contaminate a child's mind, and there is a 
wealth of good to bless it. It is scarcely necessary to say that 
the Bible should be read, whether perfectly imderstood or not. 
Its stately measures, its stirring stories, its wealth of imagery 
and beauty will be a means of education quite apart from 
its sacred value. With the Bible should be given "Pilgrim's 
Progress," which will be a real delight to the imaginative child, 
especially in some of the newer editions with their artistic 
illustrations. It is said that Lincoln's wonderful use of English 
came from reading over and over his little library of five volumes, 
two of which were the Bible and "Pilgrim's Progress." 

The love of poetry varies greatly in children. Many wish 



146 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

to hear it read simply for its rhythmic soimd, while others will 
not listen to it at all. One mother recently said that she read 
to her five-year-old boy the whole of " Paradise Lost'* and Pope's 
translations of the "Iliad" and the "Odyssey." Naturally 
enough, perhaps, she considered that she had a genius to train, 
whereas really the child's ear alone, and not his mind, was at- 
tracted. But without inquiring too closely into the reason why 
children listen to poetry, we should seize the earliest oppor- 
timity to teach them some of the best. Macaulay's "Lays of 
Ancient Rome" will appeal to all, as will the martial bits from 
"Marmion" and "The Lady of the Lake." There are the 
famous old English ballads and the stirring songs of the Cava- 
liers; "Hiawatha" and parts of "Evangeline" are delightful; 
so axe " Sir Launfal" and the " Idylls of the King." 

Guard a child sedulously against everything sensational and 
vulgar; give it books which axe the best of their kind, books of 
real worth, and its taste is ahready trained. 

There is a word to be said in favor of teaching children to 
read aloud. It not only impresses upon them what they are 
reading, but it cultivates a habit which is capable of giving 
much pleasure to others. It also enables the parent who listens 
to correct a mispronunciation or give some explanation, and 
make it certain that the child's reading is intelligent. A word 
of warning may be given against letting children read too rapidly. 
When books axe drawn from a public library they are apt to 
be devoured — "skipped" through half comprehended. If it 
is imderstood that only one book, or at the most two, may be 
drawn during a week, they wiU be read carefully and perhaps 
twice over. 

Instead of bu}dng a whole library of books for children or 
depending on the local public library to supply them, it is a 
good idea to buy one of the best collections of literature for 
children, such as our Library, which in its twelve volumes has the 
choicest stories and poems, exacdy what they need. There they 
will find selections from "Robinson Crusoe," "Uncle Remus," 
"Alice in Wonderland," fairy tales from the best sources, stories of 
natural history, of animals, birds, and bees, and much delightful 
poetry. With a quantity of such things as these always at hand, 



DEVELOPMENT AND DISCIPLINE 147 

a child acquires a love of good literature and a taste for it before 
he knows it. 

The Love of Books. — ^While the public library is an inesti- 
mable blessing, it should never be used to furnish the whole of a 
child's reading. Children should own their books as far as 
possible, and learn to treat them with respect. A bookcase 
should belong to them alone^ which they will take pride in filling. 
As they grow older the volumes they prize at first may be hidden 
away and their places filled with others, but every book should 
be valued. Let their birthday and Christmas presents consist 
largely of books which have more than temporary worth. 

If a child loves its books it will not wish to lend them, and 
at the risk of seeming selfish, one must deprecate the passing 
about of its treasures unless it is so situated that this seems really 
necessary. When children have access to a lending library it 
does not seem wise that they should be permitted to borrow indis- 
criminately from one another. Books axe soon injured by going 
from hand to hand, and it is a real grief to have them hurt. All 
of us whose books are our personal friends, tenderly loved and 
cherished, must desire to see our children grow up with the same 
feeling. 

«|S «|S «|S 

PARENTAL DISCIPLINE 

BY CAROLINE BENEDICT BURRELL 

THERE is a saying in a good old Book, which was once on 
the lips of all parents, but has to-day apparently been 
forgotten: "Spare the rod and spoil the child." The very use 
of the rod, or its equivalent, seems to have disappeared in the 
past with other once familiar household gods. 

General Considerations. — It is imdoubtedly true that there 
was far too much of the rod in homes imtil of late years. We 
would not, if we could, bring back that instrument of torture 
which, like the thumb screw, has had its day. But is there not a 
great danger, lest in doing away with the thing itself we also 



148 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

do away with what it stands for, and let all punishments go 
with it? 

There could be no greater mistake than to bring up a family 
of children with the idea that whatever wrong they did, no 
penalty would follow. They would soon learn to be perfect 
savages, impossible to live with, and worse still, they would be- 
come citizens who would break every law which trammeled them. 
Punishmeuts are absolutely essential in every home; the questions 
are what should they be, and when administered and by whom. 

There is a wise book which has recently been revived, called 
"Goitle Measures in the Training of the Young," written by 
Jacob Abbott. No parent can read it without learning from its 
old-fashioned suggestions many ideas for his help to-day. Its 
ways of dealing with children may not be oins, but they help 
us to form some for oiu^selves which are possibly as gpod for our 
children. That book, and Helen Hunt Jackson's ''Bits of 
Talk About Home Matters," are excellent guides to the be- 
ginners on the road of discipline. 

Perhaps one of the first lessons a parent must learn is that 
the pimishment must invariably follow when it has been prom- 
ised. To tell a child, ''If you do that again I must do some- 
thing serious to make you remember," and then when the 
time comes merely repeat the threat, is worse than folly. But 
of coiu^e one must be very careful in making the first statement. 
If one speaks in anger, or in haste, then there is the danger of 
injustice, or oversevere punishment First think whether 
you are doing the wisest, best thing, and then when the mind 
is made up as to the proper punishment, let it come with cool, 
even-handed justice, and one or two inflictions will cause the 
lesson to be remembered. 

Of course no parent worth the name would ever punish a 
child while still angry; that means doing him a wrong. It is 
always safe to wait till both are over the first outbreak, and then 
punish. It is difficult to do this, for strong indignation prompts 
to quick action; nevertheless it is the only safe rule to follow. 
How many regrets one has who hastily, perhaps imjustly, 
punishes a child, only a parent knows. 

Methods of Punishing — hs to the kind of pimishments, 



DEVELOPMENT AND DISCIPLINE 149 

they should be varied; perhaps the best of all because the most 
easfly understood, is that of deprivation. Suppose a child is 
greedy at the table and eats with perfect indifference to all the 
manners which have been taught him; after some such exhibition 
a mother may talk to him about his faults and explain that he 
has no right to spoil the comfort of others, and say that if he 
repeats his objectionable ways he must lose his dessert the next 
time. Perhaps the very day following he forgets, and repeats 
his offenses; his mother may whisper in his ear a reminder 
which goes unheeded; but when the dessert comes on the table 
and he may have none, the punishment is so felt that it need not 
be repeated for several days, and a few experiences will accom- 
plish a complete cure. If only one is firm and relentless, this 
is an unfailing way to secure one's end. 

So with quarreling; children who will spoil the peace of the 
home by squabbles and fights may have a penalty of exactly 
the same kind, and have to spend an hour or more in bed on 
Saturday, a deprivation which they will keenly feel. Any loss 
of pleasures is a real punishment. Many a boy would far rather 
take a whipping and then go fishing with the other boys, than 
to have to stay in bed and see them go without him; and so the 
very essence of punishment is secured. 

Corporal punishment, indeed, is by no means the most 
effective, to say the least of it. It has very real dangers connected 
with it, and few parents, perhaps only one in a hundred, are to 
be trusted to administer it wisely; it is far better to avoid it al- 
together, for the delicate frame of a child is easily injured by the 
heavy hand of an 2£dult. Edison tells how a box on the ear, 
administered by an angry man, made him deaf for life. It is 
only for the small child, the one too young to imderstand any- 
thing else, that a tiny administration of little pats is best under- 
stood and remembered. George Eliot advocated a little "tin- 
gling, in soft, safe places. " But once out of babyhood it is best 
to substitute something else for such measures, and there are 
plenty of other pimishments. 

It is really the idea of the punishment more than the thing 
itself which is effective. One mother devised a system by pre- 
paring little squares of blue and white paper; when a child had 



160 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

been naughty it had to put one or more blue squares in a box; 
and when it had been good all day it put in white ones at night, 
at the end of the week if the white squares predominated, there 
was a reward, and if the blue, none at all. Nothing could have 
been more simple, but it worked to a charm. 

As children grow out of childhood, the idea of deprivation 
as pimishment still holds. A girl who spends all her week^s 
allowance and has to go without something she wishes for, or 
even something she really needs, is being punished in this way. 
A boy who must give up an anticipated trip to town because he 
has done wrong, remembers it for weeks and does not repeat 
the oflFense. But of course it is unjust on ordinary occasions 
suddenly to pimish a child without warning. It is better at 
a first oflFense to do nothing radical, but rather explain the wrong, 
and say that it must not be repeated, or such and such things 
must follow. 

Dangers of Confinement — Mothers often have a way of 
talking over with children their wrong-doing, just as they are 
put to bed at m'ght. Then when all is quiet they have a talk 
which grows more and more serious because the child is tired, 
and frequently ends in a cry. This we know to-day is all wrong. 
At bedtime it is essential that a child should go to sleep happily, 
or the rest is unref reshing. It is better to talk things over earlier 
and settle matters, and end the day in peace. 

The old-fashioned punishments of putting a child in the 
closet or sending him supperless to bed have been rather for- 
gotten, and wisely. A child is too often made afraid of the dark 
by the first punishment, and physically injured by the second. 
It is just as eflFective to put a child alone in a lighted room, and 
let him sit in one chair for a time as to put him in a dark closet, 
and a supper of bread and milk eaten all alone in the nursery 
is better than no supper at all. 

There are so many simple pimishments which correct the 
wrong, that it seems unnecessary ever to administer others 
which are more severe. The very small child can have his 
hand tied up when he slaps; the older child can be kept apart 
from the rest when he, too, strikes; the boy can be kept home 
from a ball-game if he fights when he should not; these things 



DEVELOPMENT AND DISCIPLINE 151 

really are felt, and felt deeply, and will prove in the long run to 
overcome the bad habits. 

Dealing with a Violent Temper. — One of the most diflScult 
things to deal with is violence, self-will, screaming, or general 
loss of temper; this is best pimished by a whole day in bed, on 
the ground that no well child could possibly behave in this 
way. The enforced quiet rests the nerves of the child, who is 
really worn out by its temper, and at the same time it is a depri- 
vation so severe that it is deeply felt. 

Of course the real end of punishment in the home, as in 
prison according to our modem ideas, is to help one to overcome 
his faults and prevent repetition. This is what every parent 
should keep in view, and what every child should xmderstand. 
The resentment one feels when he is punished will gradually 
disappear when one knows that it is only because it is necessary 
to help him to get rid of these wrongs of character that the 
parent must enforce the penalty. It takes time, and infinite 
patience, and wonderful poise and calmness to carry out sys- 
tematically a course of punishments such that children will 
appreciate them and respond to their aims, but it can be done. 
And, most important of all, discipline will rapidly grow less in 
the family circle as the growing children learn why they are 
punished, and that it is love and wisdom, never temper or caprice, 
which prompt the parents to inflict the penalties. If only 
parents are slow in their decisions, never overhasty, and if 
they try always to be perfectly just, the reasons for punish- 
ment will be acknowledged, and, hard as the restrictions or de- 
privations may seem at the time, they will be appreciated later, 
and the lessons will be finally learned. 

^w ^w ^w 

OBEDIENCE IN THE CHILD 

BY CAROLINE BENEDICT BURRELL 

THE objectionable phrase, "This is the age of obedient 
parents,'' has passed into a bjnvord, one we do not 
like to hear to-day, perhaps because we recognize that there is 



152 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

too much truth in it. Certainly no nation ever before so gave 
its children everything they wished for, and gave up in such a 
degree its own wishes to those of the younger generation, as we 
Americans are doing. The child, not the parent, has in most 
of our homes, the center of the stage. 

Obedience Essential. — It is an undoubted fact that in reacting 
from the state of blind, unquestioning obedience demanded by 
our ancestors of their children, we have gone too far in the 
other direction. T)rranny and oppression once existed in 
many families, and it is just as well that they should disappear; 
but certainly obedience to parents ought not to go with them. 
If there is anything worse in the world than an unreasonable 
and domineering parent, it is a disobedient and rebellious 
child. A home where the children rule must be a joyless pande- 
monium. But how are we to obtain obedience without paying 
too dearly for it? 

Obedience should be considered as only a temporary thing, 
for the attitude of infallibility that parents assume must sooner 
or later be abandoned; it is merely the training of the children, 
not blind obedience in itself, that is the aim. The old idea that 
the child who "minds" promptly when spoken to is at heart 
the good child, and the one who hesitates is necessarily the 
bad one, is away behind the times. The so-called good child 
may merely be under-vitalized, anemic, and so indifferent to 
most things. He obeys because it is less trouble to do as he is 
told than to think for himself; and the child who disputes every 
command, and shows self-will and is disobedient, may be merely 
strong, vigorous, pushing in mental as well as physical ways, 
because he is growing in both. Later on it is often the latter 
child who is deliberately obedient, while the weaker one becomes 
morally lax. Mrs. Oilman has a clever essay in which she 
says that to train a child to unthinking, unquestioning obedience 
is to make him absolutely valueless as a citizen. He will never 
initiate, but will follow where others lead. He will be but 
a half-developed being, devoid of individuality and indepen- 
dence. 

But before the child can reason for itself, it is necessary to 
exact a prompt obedience, not only because the parent knows 



DEVELOPMENT AND DISCIPLINE 153 

best, but also for the sake of the training. A child who throws 
its food on the floor when told to eat it quietly, or who stiffens 
out in amazing rigor and screams until black in the face rather 
than be undressed, must learn that he must do as he is told, and 
if necessary, he must learn it with tears. The wise parent, how- 
ever, will not take these things too seriously. Blessed is that 
mother whose sense of humor does not desert her even in nursery 
crises! She will exact obedience as firmly and quietly as she 
can, and at the same time she will not feel that her child will 
surely grow up a monster of self-will. He must obey — that goes 
without saying; but little by littie he will learn to do it gracefully 
rather than rebelliously, as he sees he must. 

Firmness Requisite in the Mother. — Of course a perfect 
obedience forbids teasing the mother to change her mind. If 
once, only once, she yields a forbidden point, and the child, with 
its abnormal keenness, sees it, she is lost. From that time on 
her yea is no longer yea and her nay nay, but both are doubtful 
quantities, to be disputed. It is infinitely better not to give a 
command than to let the child evade it. When she says even a 
small thing must not be, she must stick to it. If it happens that 
the question turns on a second piece of cake, and she says " No 
more to-day," and then says later on, "Well, just this once, but 
next time do not ask," she is weakly giving up the whole situa- 
tion, and barring the Angel of Peace forever from her home. 

Justice Necessary to Discipline, — But it must be remembered 
that even a mother may make a mistake, and that she must 
acknowledge it at the time and alter her decision; something 
quite different from being teased into changing her mind. If 
she says that the child may not go to a certain picnic because it 
is a rainy day, and later on the sun comes out and makes going 
possible, then by all means she should explain to him that cir- 
cumstances have altered and he may go after all. He will see 
the difference in her point of view at once. Should she unreason- 
ably stick to her point and having said he could not go, refuse to 
alter that verdict when the conditions have so changed, he will 
lose confidence in her judgment and fairness; and this is about 
the worst thing which could happen. 

Parents also sometimes lay unjust commands on their 



154 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

children in ignorance, and sometimes, too, they are unreasonable; 
then the only course is frankly to acknowledge that they were 
wrong and say in so many words, "I made a mistake in saying 
you must do this or that. I see now that'it was not the thing 
after all; I will not insist on your doing it." This is to show 
the child that reason, not whim, rules in the family, and so even 
in this way he learns to obey, because be believes in his parents* 
wisdom. 

But after a child grows older, should he be expected to yield 
a prompt obedience still ? 

Whether or not he does so, depends on his father and mother. 
If they have proved when he was small that they were just and 
wise in their commands, and if he has grown up in the atmos- 
phere of obedience, undoubtedly he will continue to do as he 
is told; but parents should remember that with each year this 
unreasoning obedience becomes more diflScult for him. He is 
learning at school and at play to use his own mind, to think and 
decide for himself, and this holds in the family circle as well as 
outside it. To meet this diflSculty it is always best to give a 
child a good and truthful reason for any commands laid upon 
him, not before he obeys, but afterwards. 

Suppose he comes home from school and is told not to go 
out doors again to play. It takes but a moment to tell why 
this must be — perhaps company is coming and he will be needed, 
or his throat is sore, or his mother must leave him in charge of 
the house for a time; children yield so graciously and unselfishly 
to such reasons that it pays on this account if for no higher 
reason, to explain them. There is a sort of impressive logic in 
a child's reasoning; since his mother or father have been right 
in a hundred cases in asking him to obey, it stands to reason they 
are right now; so he obeys even when he does not see clearly 
the same necessity that they see for certain acts. 

Commands Should be Reasonable. — ^If only parents would 
always stop to think before giving any command, how simple 
obedience would be! It is because foolish, unnecessary things 
are demanded, or because children learn that there is left a 
loophole for disobedience, or because they have learned by 
bitter experience that certain commands are both exacting 



DEVELOPMENT AND DISCIPLINE 155 

and unreasonable, that they disobey. Children of reasonable, 
thoughtful, conscientious parents do obey them. They trust 
their wisdom, they understand that a good reason exists behind 
the command, and so they are willing to do as they are asked. 
Then later on they may ask why, and be told; and so their 
trust is justified. 

The way of demanding obedience counts for a great deal in 
securing it. To simply say " Do this," with the air and manner 
of a tyrant, is to create at once a disposition to do the opposite. 
"I'll mind now because I must," the child declares inwardly, 
"but when I'm grown up I'll do as I please." It is by far the 
best way to put commands if possible in an attractive form. 
Instead of saying "You must fill the wood-box before you can 
go out," it is quite as easy to say "Won't you please get me a 
whole boxful of wood before you go ? I need it to cook with for 
our supper, and I'm going to make something you like!" And 
the difference in the way the box is filled is worth the extra 
trouble, if there is any trouble, in putting it so. You may 
request a child to do almost anything, if you put it attractively, 
and he will do as you wish; but after a certain period you cannot 
demand that he shall do this or that without arousing antago- 
nism in him. And yet sometimes, even when a child has been 
carefully taught to obey, and has apparently learned the lesson 
that his parents know best, there will arise a family crisis. 
Perhaps a question of health is involved, or of morals, or some 
other really serious thing, and the growing boy or girl is quite 
sure the parents are wrong, and will not be convinced by the 
most careful, patient reasoning and explanation; such things 
do happen. Then, after all is said, if the father and mother are 
certain of the wisdom of their course, the child, not the parents, 
must yield. Once in a long time it is best to let the child have 
his own way and teach him by suffering that he is wrong; but 
usually this is too costly, and it is better to say firmly, "You 
must abide by my decision; I am sure in this case I am right, and 
when you are older you will see that it was so." Then the child 
will show whether, after all, his training in obedience has been 
worth while. If he submits with an underlying belief in his 
parents in spite of his disappointment, the day is won; it has 



156 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

been worth everything to have reached this point, and the re- 
ward is already being won for gentle firmness in his training. 

<^v ^^v ^^v 

THE CHILD'S TRUTHFULNESS 

BY CAROLINE BENEDICT BURRELL 

THERE is no reason why any child who is carefully trained 
should ever grow up untruthful; if he does, undoubtedly 
there has been some serious mistake to account for it. A little 
child, who is healthy, kindly treated, encouraged to be frank in 
speaking of everything to his parents, will naturally grow up 
more and more into perfect truthfulness. It is this belief which 
helps parents over the difficult places in the lives of their children 
when it seems as though they were inherently little liars; for 
sooner or later most parents have to face the fact that a child 
has not told the truth. Usually this comes with a shock, and 
too often brings a certain despair with it; if only one could ac- 
cept it as a normal phase it would make things infinitely easier! 
Ordinarily the child's imagination is at fault. He dreams 
so many litde dreams and tells them as facts, that he is involved 
at once in difficulties and does not know how to explain. He 
hears grown people tell made-up stories, and he is expected to 
enjoy them, and does; yet when he tells a made-up story he is 
treated as a small criminal! To him it is bewildering. This 
is the place where a mother should be ready, not with punish- 
ment, but with understanding and a clear explanation. When 
the boy comes home from school and says! "I met a mad dog 
running down the street, and he chased me, and I ran as fast as I 
could and at last I got away," and the whole thing turns out to 
be false, she can easily recall the story of adventure she read 
him a week ago in which a hunter was chased by a lion and 
barely escaped with his life: that was all imagination, and so 
is his story, copied after it; he sees no diflFerence. Such things 
are not untruthful in any wrong sense; they are merely flights 
of fancy. She will probably have some trouble in making him 



DEVELOPMENT AND DISCIPLINE 157 

see why if a man in a book tells such things he may not, but 
after a time he will see, and will stop inventing adventures. 

Nothing could be a greater wrong to a child than to punish 
him for telling such things. If he persists after he really under- 
stands that they are wrong and absurd, sometimes a little whole- 
some ridicule will break him of the habit; but in any case he 
will grow out of it in a short time. His playmates will usually 
laugh at him in such a way as to work a complete cure. 

Dealing with Serious Falsehoods. — It is quite another matter 
when a child lies to gain an end; that is a really serious matter, 
never to be passed over. Any falseness, whether in word or 
action, especially one in which a reward comes for the eflFective 
lie, is one of the worst corrupters of character. The moment 
when a mother finds out that her child has been false in such a 
way as this, there should come some penalty never to be for- 
gotten. 

This does not mean corporal punishment, although a pinch 
of quinine put on a little tongue is effective with a very small 
child; but it does mean that he must be talked to in such a 
solemn way of his wrong-doing, and have its result so put before 
him, that he can never forget it; and after this is done, there 
should be a punishment. If some one else has been involved, 
there must be a confession, no matter how humiliating. If 
no one knows, still there must be the acknowledgment of the 
wrong, and something to make the child remember not to do 
such a thing again. Perhaps a day alone will effect this; or 
he may be forbidden to speak to any other child for a day; or 
he may lose some coveted pleasure. At all events it is a moral 
crisis, and one to be faced by a parent with all the wisdom to be 
summoned. 

The Cowardly Lie. — When the lie comes from still another 
source and is uttered in order to avoid a punishment, then the 
matter is even worse, for here it is the parent, not the child, 
who is principally to blame. If a father is so harsh as to make 
his boy afraid of him, then he must expect the child to lie to 
cover up a wrong, and if he does, it is really the jDarent who 
should be punished. Sometimes a timid child will lie imreason- 
ably, even when he knows the pimishment for telling the truth 



158 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

will not be serious. But certainly the only help for such cases 
lies in moral suasion, never in the long run in corporal punish- 
ment; that only makes a bad matter worse. The child will lie 
to avoid the whipping, and lie to cover up the first lie; and day 
by day he will do this till he is confirmed in the habit 

Sometimes, when after a while a parent wakes to this danger, 
he will say, "If you will only tell the truth you shall not be 
punished, but if you lie and I find it out you shall be"; and still 
the child lies; it is because the trouble is so deep-seated by this 
time that it seems ineradicable. Fear of punishment is a danger- 
ous thing to use in any way. 

It happens occasionally that a child will apparently tell a 
falsehood and suffer for it under some misapprehension. A 
little girl refused to tell where a certain key was which her mother 
was sure she had had. "Tell me the truth, tell just what you 
did with it," she was begged, and steadily she replied, "I don't 
know." It seemed not only a lie, but an obstinate one as well. 
Finally it was found that the key was really in a place where she 
could not possibly have put it or known its being, and then she 
exclaimed, "You see I could not tell the truth because I didn't 
know the truth!" One must be very certain that a child under- 
stands exactiy what he has done that is wrong, and why, and the 
parent must be quite as certain that the facts of the case are all 
in, before going ahead to deal with the difficulty. It is a serious 
thing even to accuse a child who is naturally truthful of 
telling a falsehood; his whole being resents the accusation, and 
his self-respect suffers, even if no punishment is laid upon him. 

Preventing Untruthfulness. — ^The best way to deal with 
lying in children is never to meet it; if the family life is open and 
frank, and if children have cause to believe in their parents' 
love and justice, they will seldom deliberately lie. Many a 
family of children grow up as truthful as the day, and fathers 
and mothers never have to face the terrible situation of realizing 
that a child has lied. Where the ideal of perfect openness is con- 
stantly held up, and one who even evades the truth is despised, 
boys and girls usually are truthful as a matter of course, or truth- 
ful except for some one fall by the way which they never repeat. 
Where parents never deceive, and questions are always answered 



DEVELOPMENT AND DISCIPLINE 159 

with exactness, even with limitations as to extent, and where 
promises are kept, there a child is open in his ways and words. 

It is in the breaking of promises that most parents fail in 
their own truthfuhiess and in their training of their children. 
One day a child was promised a drive, one he had long wanted 
and to which he had looked forward. At the last moment his 
father and mother decided not to take him and drove away 
alone. He looked after them and said scornfully, "There go 
two liars!" Probably never again in his life did he ever really 
trust their word as fully as before they broke it. To say that 
something is to be, or is not to be, is to give a pledge of one's 
own straightforwardness, and it must be kept, or the penalty 
paid of having one's children grow up untruthful. 

Ideals of Truth. — One great aid in training children to speak 
the exact truth is to hold up before them the ideals of truth in 
others. When a father points out that some public man has 
told the thing that was so to his own injury, the boy admires 
him for it, and remembers it. A mother can read aloud to her 
children stories of good men who always spoke the truth, and 
can so fire them with admiration that they will try and be like 
them. The old way of threatening children with a penalty in 
future life for lying is not half as effective as the holding up before 
them the beauty of telling the "lovely white truth," and inspiring 
them to grow into it. 

^ff^ ^^ ^^ 

SELF-CONTROL IN THE CHILD 

BY CAROLINE BENEDICT BUKSELL 

t 

THE end and aim of all real education is to teach the child 
to control himself. It seems strange that any grown 
man or woman needs to be told "Do this," and "Do not do 
that, " and yet practically that is what must be done for those 
who have not learned to direct their own lives. A parent sees 
but half his responsibilities who thinks that training in obedience 
is all that is necessary to make a perfect man out of a boy, or a 
noble woman out of a girl; in the end the man or woman stands 



160 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

or falls as they have learned the greatest of all duties, that of 
self-control. 

A Test of Character. — In infancy, of course, a mother and 
father must do the thinking for the child; he must eat and exer- 
cise and sleep as they direct; but once out of babyhood there 
must be a gradual shifting of this control to the child's own mind 
and conscience. Suppose a boy is left to guide himself for a 
week; he is told he may go to school or not as he pleases; he 
may go swimming no matter what the weather is, and eat what- 
ever his fancy directs, and go to bed when he chooses. That 
is a real test of character, for the boy who has been taught to 
control himself and to arrange his life not by what he prefers 
to do but by what he knows is right, will probably follow exactly, 
or at least nearly, the regular programme as he has learned it, 
and do his school and home work at their proper times, eat what 
he has been told is good for him and go to bed about his usual 
time; and, of course, the one who has been merely blindly 
obedient to his parents will rejoice in his freedom and become 
a lawless little being till he is again put under authority. 

The use of the words "right" and "wrong" ought to be 
early taught any child. It is not because mother says he must 
go to bed that he has to go at eight, but because he needs the 
sleep, and will not grow up strong without it that he has to go; 
it is right that he should do so; this at once seems reasonable 
to a child. He sees that his father and mother do things they 
do not like because they recognize that the same higher law 
extends over them too, and that, once clearly seen, is a wonderful 
help to a child in doing the things he should. It is a lesson not 
to be taught all at once, but by gradual steps, and not so much 
by words as by example. If the child holds the key to the 
home life, and day by day watches his parents do the best thing 
they know, whether it is pleasant or not, he is on the way to con- 
trol himself just as they control themselves, by the perfect law. 

Inculcating Self-control. — ^With most children it is safe to 
begin very early to let them practise this self-control. The 
mother says, perhaps, "I see that you are getting very angry; I 
am sure you will be likely to say and do thfaigs you will be sorry 
for; don't you think you had better go to your room till you are 



DEVELOPMENT AND DISCIPLINE 161 

quiet again?" Probably if the fit of anger has gone too far, the 
child will refuse and give way still further, but at the very be- 
ginning he may be willing to go. Then later on, when all is 
over, the mother can talk things over with him, praise him for 
his going away, tell him of the dreadful things that happen when 
a grown man gets more and more angry and does not control 
himself, and of the murders of which one so often reads as a 
result of such fits of passion. The boy is impressionable, and 
usually willing to learn the lesson. He will sometimes forget, 
of course, being merely human, but if this course is persisted in, 
he will sooner or later learn to control his temper by leaving the 
place where it is excited; some day perhaps he may be able to 
stay where he is and still control it, which is even a higher 
thing. 

The same idea may be used in teaching children to control 
their appetites for sweets, or any forbidden pleasures. It is 
better to run away than to yield to temptation. There is a 
ridiculous little story of a girl who came into a room and saw a 
basket of fruit on the table, prepared for company; she walked 
all around the table, holding her small hands behind her back; 
then she remarked firmly, "Sold again, Satan!" and left the 
room. That illustrates exactly what a well-taught child feels, 
that she has conquered if she resists a wrong inclination. 

Here, as elsewhere, an ideal is a great help to a child. The 
stories of King Arthur and his knights and their search for 
the Holy Grail are suggestive of the strife for the best things 
against the worst. Before they are in their teens children will 
love to hear read the "Idylls of the King," and "Sir Launfal," 
and even Malory's "Morte d' Arthur, " and better now than when 
they are older, they will take the lessons to heart they learn 
there. There is an old story of King Louis the Fourteenth 
which also gives them a helpful idea: Once he was listening 
to a sermon in the royal chapel, and the preacher spoke of the 
struggle St. Paul tells, of the two men within the soul. At 
once the king, careless of the rest of the audience, cried out, " Oh, 
how well I know those two men! " Even the smallest child knows 
something of the strife of the two men, and will appreciate the 
point of the story and remember it. 



162 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

The Child to be Trusted. — ^The plan of trusting a child is 
one of the best ways of developing this plan of having him control 
himself rather than be controlled by some one else. A mother 
can say, "Oh, it is unnecessary for me to tell you what to 
do; you know what is right, and of course you will do that." 
This throws the whole responsibility where it belongs, and at 
the same time it appeals to the child's better nature, and so a 
double purpose is served. It is an appeal to the highest in him, 
and one he will not lightly disregard. 

Often parents shrink from laying in early years this burden 
of responsibility on a child. They argue that it is too much for 
them, and it is better for them to have their parents decide what 
they shall do, and so relieve them from the thought, sometimes 
indeed, the anxious thought, of what to do. But self-control 
is something it takes a whole life to learn, and it is not too soon 
to begin, even in early childhood, to teach it. Perhaps the home 
may be broken up and a boy thrown early out into the world; 
if he has been used only to guidance from without, he will 
struggle with all sorts of temptations and perplexities which will 
meet him, and too probably he will fall. How much better to 
let him know from the outset that he must depend largely upon 
himself, and that he is expected to be strong and manly, and to 
choose the right! That sort of stimulating teaching will keep 
him from evil, and make a man of him while yet he is but a boy 
in years. It is the weakling who succumbs to the temptations 
of the world, the flesh, and the devil — the one who has been 
overguided and controlled, who has never learned to know his 
foes and to meet them fearlessly. If from a child he has had to 
control himself, he is armed against his enemies. 

^3^ ^^^ ^2^ 

% 

TRAINING IN ORDER AND PUNCTUALITY 

BY CAROLINE BENEDICT BURRELL 

A CHILD is ordinarily a disorderly little being, probably 
because from his first day he has been accustomed to 
being waited upon, picked-up for, and generally directed by his 



DEVELOPMENT AND DISCIPLINE 163 

mother or his nurse, or both together. When the time comes 
that he is expected to do things for himself, he is unprepared, and 
it takes a long, long time, sometimes many years, to let him under- 
stand that he is responsible for keeping his things in place; 
too often he never learns it at all. Boys more than girls, fail 
in order perhaps from hereditary instincts, for a man has been 
always more waited upon in small ways than a woman, and the 
home-making strain which must be born in a girl shows itself 
early. At the same time, both need careful training in such 
ways or they will become selfishly careless of others. 

Orderly Habits to Be Formed Early. — A very small child will 
strew his playthings over the nursery floor, and when told to 
pick them up and put them away, very often will rebel. This 
is usually because it is growing toward the end of the day and 
he is tired; the quantity of things looks enormous to him, and 
his little body aches at the very thought of the task. Still, with 
tact he can be helped over the difficulty. It is better not to let 
so many things get about, but when one set of playthings is 
finished with, it can be put away in some easily reached place, 
and something else taken out. A large covered box close at 
hand makes a good place for toys. Then too, if some one will 
help put things away, that assists wonderfully; or if he is told 
that father is coming, and the room must all be in order for him, 
for he will be sorry to see it upset. At all events, in some such 
way order should be taught even in a very little child. 

Playmates are very thoughtiess in helping cover the room 
with toys and then ^going home leaving the little host to pick 
up; this should not be allowed, but the mother should stop the 
play half an hour before time for the visitors to go home and 
all together the children should put things away, even at the risk 
of seeming inhospitable. The child taught in his own home 
that this is the right thing, will, when he in his turn goes visiting, 
help to dispose of the toys at the neighbors'. 

So with the child's own room, here from the first he must 
learn to keep things in order. He can always put his nightgown 
on a chair, even if he cannot hang it up in the closet; he can set 
the bureau top to rights, and put things in the drawers and 
stand his shoes in an orderly row. When the bed is made he 



164 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

can help with it, and dust, and straighten the curtains. Really 
he will enjoy the feeling of importance in doing all this if it is 
done cheerfully, not considered a task so much as a pleasure. 
If from his childhood he knows the duty of orderliness in his 
own room, he will probably never become that selfish being, a 
man who lets his sister or his wife pick up and put away his 
things, carelessly strewn everywhere. It is only right that he 
should feel that he is responsible for everything which belongs to 
him, and he must keep it in its place. 

Care of the Person and the Room. — Personal neatness is 
really orderliness, and this, too, cannot be taught too early. 
Children naturally resent having their faces and hands washed 
too frequently, and it is absurd and wrong to expect them to be 
always clean and tidy; when they are playing they should not 
be bothered by having such things insisted on; at the same 
time, there are hours when they should be tidy as a matter of 
course, especially when they come to the table for their meals. 
Then a mother must insist on having the hands washed and 
the hair smooth. This is always a trouble for both parent and 
child, but it need not be so difficult, if the child who comes clean 
gets the larger helping of dessert, and the one who has been 
forgetful gets but a small one. It is a lesson in orderliness not 
soon forgotten, and one far better taught in this way than by 
perpetual talking. 

As to training a child to keep the house in order outside 
his own room, that too must be enforced. One has no right to 
throw down a cap, an armful of books, a pair of muddy rubbers, 
for some one else to put away, no matter if that some one is 
perfectly willing to do it. He has a duty to help keep the home 
attractive. But children are far too apt to think the common 
living room theirs in the peculiar sense of disorder, and find 
it hard to remember to put away their belongings. Parents, 
too, are sometimes thoughtiess in not providing places which 
are convenient for out-of-door clothes, and books. These must 
be at hand — a closet with low hooks, a shelf for books; a box 
for rubbers, and something resembling the hymn-book rack 
at church, on some wall, for the books. Then after all these 
are ready the child must use them. 



DEVELOPMENT AND DISCIPLINE 165 

Methods of Teaching Orderliness. — One of the best ways to 
teach order here is to have it a good-natured rule that such things 
out of place will disappear. A lost cap will be found hidden in 
some out-of-the-way comer; a school-book will be discovered 
tucked under a chair-cushion, and so on. When one must take 
precious moments to hunt up such things before school it is 
probable that next time they will go where they belong. Here, 
as in one's own room, a mother should dwell on the selfishness 
of keeping the house in disorder, and teach a child that he has 
no right to be careless. 

Sometimes a girl who is disorderly can be reached by her 
vanity in a wholesome way. If she leaves her room upset, with 
dresses on chair and even on the floor, and then brings home 
from school a couple of friends and ushers them into her room, 
she will not need a suggestion from her mother to make her more 
careful next time. If she does, then half a Saturday spent in 
putting things to rights will aid her in remembering. 

One aid in teaching a girl to be orderly outside her room, 
is to make her responsible for the sitting-room; she can straighten 
it up before school in the morning in only a moment's time, if 
every one puts things away, but if others are careless, or she 
herself is careless, then it takes longer. Some rainy days, or 
Saturdays, she can put everything thoroughly tidy in the room, 
and so she will learn what is necessary for her to know. 

Teaching Punctuality. — Punctuality is almost as difficult 
to teach as orderliness at home, and it is especially difficult to 
get children to be prompt at breakfast-time, because it seems 
natural for them to dawdle over dressing. But there are two 
ways of teaching this. One is to have some deprivation for 
tardiness, such as the loss of the fruit-course if there is one, or 
cream on porridge, or plain bread and butter in place of the hot 
bread. The second is a higher way of dealing with the matter; 
it is to have each child have some personal responsibility about 
the meal; a girl may perhaps be expected to pour the water, or 
put on the napkins; if she is late, she may know the whole family 
are sitting about the table, unable to begin the meal till she 
comes. If that plan is faithfully carried out, and no one does her 
work for her, she will soon learn to be on time. A boy may 



166 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

ako have some duty, perhaps getting the morning paper and 
bringing it to his father, who waits for it. Where love rules the 
home these things count for a great deal. 

As to punctuality in school, a system of rewards helps. 
Every school report should be carefully read by the parents, and 
all tardiness inquired into; where the report is good, there should 
always be a reward, not perhaps in money, but in some treat; 
where one has been careless, and frequently late without ex- 
cuse, this may be withheld, and the child told he must do better 
next time. 

Too often children grow up disorderly and impunctual 
because their mothers are to blame. It may be more trouble 
to get a child to put things to rights than to do the work one's 
self, and so the child slips out of the duty. But for his own sake, 
as well as for that of those who will take the mother's place in 
after years, this should never be; both a boy and a girl should 
be given the training they need even though it is a trouble, and 
a great one. 

So with punctuality, the lack of it may often be traced to 
the parents. The family may be lazy about getting up on Sun- 
day mornings, and become habitually late in getting to church; 
breakfast may be at all hours on school-days, and so the child 
really cannct L'±ci{^ -^oming late to school; the whole habit of the 
household may be that of easy-going carelessness in keeping 
appointments, and the child grows up indifferent to exactness. 
All this is selfishly wrong on the part of the father and mother, 
and children who are not well trained in such ways must pay 
dearly for their parents' thoughtlessness later in life. 

^ff^ ^^ ^^ 

THE CHILD AND MONEY 

BY CAROLINE BENEDICT BURRELL 

THE mind of a child veers between the love of acquiring 
and the love of spending. It delights to hoard, to 
shake its bank and feel its increasing weight; and it also de- 



DEVELOPMENT AND DISCIPLINE 167 

lights to spend recklessly until it is bankrupt. It was doubtless 
these traits which made a distinguished Frenchman describe 
the American child as "a mercenary little wretch." Probably 
there is something of heredity in these things, for to wish to 
amass rapidly and spend extravagantly is a national trait, and 
the child only reflects the attitude of its parents. 

Source of Supply. — How shall our children obtain their 
money? Usually it comes from the parental pocket-book in 
a more or less irregular trickle, rather than in that small but 
steady stream which develops the child's sense of its value. In 
either case, if given too lavishly, it will mean nothing; if doled 
out too parsimoniously it will acquire an abnormal value. It 
should be given by some regular system or it wiU do harm. 

There is much to be said in favor of letting the children earn 
their own money. They may be paid by the day or week for 
keeping their rooms or bureau drawers in order, for being punc- 
tual at their meals or at their study-hour, for having clean 
hands and blackened shoes, or for performing small duties about 
the house. A series of rules for these things, with their rewards 
and fines, may be written on a blackboard in the play-room; if 
accounts are regularly kept and pay-day is faithfully observed, 
it will be a training in the way in which money should come 
to any one, that is, as the reward of labor. Of course one may 
claim that a child should not be paid for doing its duty. Ab- 
stractly that is true, but practically in the case of these small 
details of daily life it will be found that no harm is done by this 
small breach of the moral law. On the contrary, this system 
will be found of the greatest service in teaching children habits 
of neatness and order without undue friction. If occasionally 
a child is found to have an unusual desire to accimiulate money 
the plan must be modified. 

Children may be paid also for their school-reports, either 
receiving a fixed sum for general excellence, or, where there has 
been difficulty with one study, for improvement in that. It is 
a mistake, however, to put everything on the basis of bargaining. 
The principles of the home should not be those of the shop, 
and for this reason, in addition to the money a child earns, it 
should receive an occasional present. On the Fourth of July, 



168 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

for instance, it is a real hardship for a child to have to take a 
whole dollar from its bank for fireworks. At times like this 
a gift will mean a great deal. 

The Qttestion of an Allowance. — Under the age of twelve 
few children receive an allowance. Whether they should or 
not depends somewhat upon the child; generally speaking, an 
allowance is desirable only after a certain maturity of judg- 
ment is reached. But if it is given it should not be the only 
source of income; every child should earn at least a part of its 
spending-money, in ways that are not too difficult. 

Lessons in Spending Money. — But when the child has money, 
what shall it do with it ? A famous economist tells us that the 
three legitimate uses of money are saving, spending, and giving, 
and this is a good basis from which to study the matter. A 
child's saving may mean nothing at all to it. Simply to fill a 
bank with pennies, to see it emptied, and to hear that the money 
has been transferred to a larger bank downtown, conveys no idea 
and accomplishes no good purpose; there should always be a 
definite end in view. If its savings are small, still there is father's 
birthday present to be bought or Christmas to be remembered. 
If they are larger, and amount to quite a sum in the course of 
a year, do not let the child become miserly and enjoy the piling 
up of the money for itself. Possibly the money may be spoken 
of as a provision for the future should a rainy day come to the 
family, or the outlook may be toward travel or special advan- 
tages in some way. Such a feeling of possession may be an 
excellent thing, giving the child a proper sense of power and 
responsibility. 

If there must be some self-denial in order to lay up money, 
so much the better; such a moral training is not to be ignored. 
Once let a child learn to give up a present good for one more 
remote, and you have taught the principle of foresight. 

But a child must learn to part with its money as well as save 
it. To most children spending is an easier matter than saving. 
This world is new to a child, and full of all sorts of desirable 
things. If it has money, why not buy as many of them as it 
can? It is an easy thing for children to become small spend- 
thrifts through the carelessness of their parents. It is thought 



DEVELOPMENT AND DISCIPLINE 169 

unnecessary trouble to supervise penny purchases. The 
amount spent is so trifling, why interfere with the child's pleas- 
ure? Let it buy whatever it will. Yet there is a reason for 
supervision — it is just here that a child's judgment is to be 
trained. If it wishes to buy a boat or a doll or candy, let it do 
so occasionally, but if possible go with it, not 

"With a little hoard of maxims preaching down*' 

all youthful enthusiasm, but trying to teach your child to judge 
between good, better, and best. Is the doll worth the price? 
Is it not better to buy good candy than poor, even if one gets 
less for the money ? Is it not wiser to buy a book rather than 
something of merely passing value? 

The question of taste also should enter into these purchases. 
It is not altogether how much one can buy with a certain sum, 
nor how valuable one's purchases are, but have they intrinsic 
beauty? Children should not be permitted to buy things that 
are gaudy or imsuitable, whether they are cheap or expensive. 
A girl of ten whose taste was supposed by her mother to be 
really superior was permitted to go alone to spend a birthday 
gold-piece. The result was an appalling array of cheap jewelry, 
perfumery, and ridiculous trinkets. One should not take it 
for granted that children are born with a clear sense of the artis- 
tic, but should strive to develop one that is latent, a more fre- 
quent case. 

If, in spite of care, a child is sometimes extravagant and 
empties its bank foolishly, there is a certain wisdom in letting 
it learn by experience that it cannot spend its money and have 
it too. Better let the bank remain empty for a time than to 
refill it and let its owner feel that it has imlimited means to 
draw upon. 

Benevolent Tendencies. — Between the extremes of spending 
for one's self and giving to others lies the delightful spot where the 
two are combined. A boy originated the idea of giving his mother 
a weekly treat from his own money. Sometimes he took her 
on his favorite trolley-ride, sometimes he bought her a box of 
his favorite bonbons. The naivet^ of the plan raises a smile, 
but as a stepping-stone to a genuine altruism it is not to be 



170 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

despised. It is always to be remembered that it is almost as 
hard for a child to part with its money, especially if it has earned 
it, as it is for a man or a woman to do so. Almost, but not 
quite, for its generosity often puts us to the blush. 

If a child has a settled income it is best to teach it to give 
away a certain proportion; so much for benevolence, so much 
for gifts, so much for extra calls. It should be taught to give 
independently, without regard to the gifts of other children. 
It will especially enjoy giving to the children of the poor through 
the free kindergartens, fresh-air funds, day nurseries, and 
hospitals for litde cripples. It is probably better for the child — 
if not for the cause — to give the money outright than to arrange 
some fair or other entertainment in which the end will be for- 
gotten largely in the amusement afforded. 

An Ethical View. — ^The great danger that confronts us all 
is that we shall overlook the fact that the real use of money is in 
the development of character and the service of man. If, as 
a child, one acquires honestly, spends thoughtfully, and gives 
generously, he will grow up broad-minded and philanthropic. 
It is really a more serious matter than parents usually think that 
children should receive sound views of money. While our 
national life is disfigured by an almost imiversal greed of getting 
and lust of spending, we should teach them that there are right 
and wrong ways of getting money, and right and wrong ways of 
spending it. 

f^v %2^ ^2^ 

THE CHILD AND HANDICRAFT 

BY CAROLINE BENEDICT BURRELL 

OUR national eagerness to acquire new ideas has become 
proverbial, yet there is at least one point in which our 
great public school system is curiously behind that of other 
countries; we omit from most of our schools any attempt to 
teach manual training. Yet the idea is no new one. Two 
centuries ago the philosopher John Locke pointed out the value 



DEVELOPMENT AND DISCIPLINE 171 

of hand-labor in education, and urged that a child should learn 
one handicraft thoroughly, and two or three in part. Rousseau 
said in the essay on education that has been called "a pedagogi- 
cal gold-mine," "If I employ a child in the workshop instead 
of chaining him to a book, then his hands work to the benefit 
of his mind." Froebel took up the suggestion of hand-work" 
and introduced it into his kindergarten system. Sweden, 
Denmark, Finland, Russia, Germany, and France developed the 
plan, and to-day teach manual training in their graded schools. 
We still imderstand it so little that we think that only those who 
wish to learn a trade need know how to handle tools, while 
really nothing could be further from the ideas of those who 
understand the principles involved. 

Object of MantuU Training. — Handicraft is designed to de- 
velop the mind and the hand rather than to teach any particular 
thing. The child has two faculties which we are apt to over- 
look — that of construction and that of destruction. It loves to 
make things; give it a paste-pot, a pair of scissors, a knife, a 
needle, and see the pleasure it will take in evolving something 
of its very own. It loves to destroy things, too, but less from a 
wanton desire to spoil, than from the innate wish to find out 
what it is that "makes the wheels go round." It is to answer 
the child's needs in these two respects that it should be taught 
handicraft. It there learns the why and how of the manufac- 
tured article, and it learns to put together for itself. Its eye 
and hand are trained to a precision altogether lacking in the 
untaught child, while it is also acquiring at the same time con- 
centration, exactness, and perseverance, all of which are of 
infinite value in its studies. 

Through handicraft it also works off a large part of its super- 
fluous energy. A recess of five or ten minutes in the middle 
of the morning, and another recess of an hour at noon are not 
enough to dissipate the boundless restlessness a child feels. 
Many a so-called "naughty boy "who is the torment of school, 
is suffering from a real nervousness which would disappear if 
he had something to do which would occupy pleasantly both 
hands and head. To drop arithmetic for a time and take up a 
saw or plane is an unspeakable rest. This is true for girls no 



172 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

less than for boys; they especially need a course in handicraft, 
since their hands do not naturally take a hammer or a chisel; 
they also get far less exercise than their brothers do, though 
their growing bodies need it quite as much, and their delicate 
nerves even more. To quote Rousseau again, "The great 
secret of education is to combine mental and physical work so 
that the one kind of exercise refreshes for the other." 

Utilizing Skill with Tools. — Handicraft is also a benefit to 
a child in that it brings it into a closer relation to its home. When 
it feels that it is not a contributor to it in any material sense, but 
only a recipient, it misses something of comradeship; but when 
it can really add to the home's attractiveness or comfort it at 
once acquires a new love for it and pride in it. Under a. good 
teacher of any form of handiwork it is not long before a child 
is able to make something really useful and beautiful. One 
has only to visit a school where manual training is taught to 
recognize with wonder the possibilities that lie there. There 
are picture-frames, tables carved in artistic patterns, chests 
for linen, plate-racks, exquisite bits of carved metal, beaten 
brass, carved leather, beautifully bound books. To learn to 
make such things is an education in itself, and to be able not 
only to make them, but to enrich the home with them, is to feel 
and to confer a true and deep pleasure. 

Encouraging a Talent for Handiwork. — But beyond these 
actual or possible results of such training there is also the sug- 
gestion which it gives of the bent of the child's mind. Many 
a parent is puzzled to know what course to pursue in looking 
towards the child's future; here a latent talent will often be 
disclosed. The child will show plainly that it has a taste for 
art, or architecture, or applied mathematics, or sculpture, or 
something equally definite. Parents who hesitate over a course 
in handicraft lest it should either lead to a distaste for study or 
develop a wish for mechanical labor only, are surprised to find 
that it simply smooths the path to a desired career. 

Where there is no opportunity for the study of handicraft 
in a school within reach, the father and mother should try to 
make some opportunity for it at home. A boy may have a tool- 
chest when he is very young, and learn to drive nails or do odd 



DEVELOPMENT AND DISCIPLINE 173 

bits of mending about the house. He will take a certain pride 
in doing these things for a time, but very soon he will be ready 
for harder work under a regular teacher. He might then take 
lessons of a carpenter in the use of tools and a turning-lathe; 
or one can sometimes find a foreigner who for a very small 
sum of money will give lessons in wood-carving. If the boy 
inclines to metal-working he should have some one — if only the 
village blacksmith — to instruct him in simple iron and brass 
work. 

Handicraft for Girls. — A girl may begin to study manual 
training after the excellent kitchen-garden system; she will 
enjoy the setting of tiny tables and the hanging out of dolls' 
washing, and the making of little beds, and at the same time she 
will be learning neatness and order, accuracy of touch, and a 
dainty way of doing housework. Sewing, too, that discipline 
through which every girl must pass, may be redeemed from 
drudgery and made a pastime if it is regarded as a part of an 
education in handicraft and taught so as to awaken an interest 
in it. The old way used to be to set a girl a daily task of a seam; 
later, to teach her to cut out and make garments for herself of 
stiff muslin, which she usually moistened with her tears. To-day 
a teacher is found who gathers a little group of children and 
gives them regular lessons; hemming is done on one square of 
cloth, backstitching on another, and overcasting on a third. To 
make buttonholes, even, in company, robs them of half their 
terrors. It is not so important that a child should know how 
to make garments as how to sew. If she knows that, the making 
will come later. 

But it should never be forgotten that sewing is not the only 
form of handicraft with which a girl should be familiar. She, 
like the boy, should learn to make things of wood and leather 
and metal, for the development of both head and hands. A 
recent writer on this subject says, "Boys and girls whose hands 
have been left altogether untrained until their fifteenth year are 
practically incapable of high manual efficiency thereafter." 
Any woman whose hands are adaptable finds herself ready for 
many amusements and accomplishments which are delightful 
and useful. 



174 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

Restfidness of Hand-work. — -But quite apart from the benei&t 
one receives in the possession of a trained eye and hand there 
is another, an ultimate value in a course in handicraft of which 
as children we never think — that rest which hand-work gives to 
the tired brain. It is most necessary for all of us to have some- 
thing in which we can find relaxation. Dr. Weir Mitchell in a 
recent article advises novel-reading, but to many brain-workers 
this is not as restful as something which occupies the hands as 
well as the mind. The lawyer, the writer, the physician, the 
teacher, the mother, may throw themselves into some interesting 
form of handicraft, such as artistic bookbinding or wood- 
carving, and find it absorbing, satisfying, restful. Hand-work 
in which there is no creative pleasure, mere manual labor in 
which the mind has no share, can never give rest, but that which 
occupies hand and eyes and brain at once makes us ready to 
take up our daily burdens again with a new vigor. This one 
reason alone — the benefit which a knowledge of handicraft 
gives to us during the stress and storm of life — seems reason 
enough why we should study it in our leisure years, the years of 
childhood. 

f^v %2^ ^2^ 

MUSIC AND ART FOR THE CHILD 

BY CAROLINE BENEDICT BURRELL 

WE are all convinced that there should be music in the home; 
witness the piano, or at least the parlor organ, in almost 
every house in the land. But it is not every parent who has an 
intelligent appreciation of the place music should hold; it may 
be a bane quite as well as a blessing, a tyrant as often as a friend. 
Piano-Lessons as Drudgery. — ^Happily the time has gone by 
when every little girl must take piano-lessons, and toil over 
scales through weary hours, regardless of sunshine and bird- 
song. How many of us who have passed through those memo- 
rable periods of distress recall the expedients to which we were 
driven to shorten them. A group of women confessed recently 
their misdeeds on this score. One had moved the hands of 



DEVELOPMENT AND DISCIPLINE 175 

the clock until her mother was forced to buy an hoar-glass; 
this bafHed the small sinner for a time, but she soon learned that 
after the sand had dropped through for a little while the glass 
could be reversed and the time shortened by half. Another 
woman said that, when a child of seven, she was so driven to 
desperation by the demands of her music-teacher that she ac- 
tually prepared a penknife with which to stab him should he 
give her any more five-i&nger exercises. One story followed 
another, all going to prove that where one child loved its prac- 
tising, nine hated it. 

Music should be Loved, not Hated, — Children naturally 
love to strum on the piano from curiosity; some easily learn 
to pick out a tune with one finger, beyond that, only a few 
really love music well enough to bear its drudgery cheerfully. 
Yet all boys, as well as girls, should be able to read notes both 
for the voice and for the fingers; and so much, doubtless, they 
will learn in school. If possible, they should learn to play, 
more or less, enough eventually to accompany a singer or read 
a hymn at sight. But it should be made as easy as possible; 
practise-time should be short, never over half an hour a day when 
the child is imder twelve, and this divided into two periods. 
The real foundations of a musical education on any instrument, 
the endless routine of scales and exercises, should not be insisted 
upon where there is a genuine hatred for them, for in the end 
it will be found that there is nothing gained by the trouble 
taken. By all means cultivate a talent, only be sure there is a 
talent to be cultivated. Unless one is prepared to make a life- 
work of it, he cannot be a thorough musician. Music is some- 
times worth paying a large price for, but not always. Especially 
it is not right that a whole family be deprived of luxuries or even 
enjo)rments that one member, merely, may be accomplished. 
A parent should try to gauge his child's abilities, tastes, and 
prospects, before starting him upon a musical education. A 
girl sometimes spends a large part of ten or fifteen years studying 
the piano or violin, and then on marrying gives up her music 
because of lack of time to practise. It would have been wiser 
to give her a broader mental training, opportimities for travel, 
and more leisure for the study of household economics. 



176 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

On the other hand, a small amount of instrumental music 
may be a delight to a family circle, especially where several in- 
struments are used. A boy can easily learn to play a banjo or 
guitar to his great enjoyment; these with the piano, and if 
possible the violin, a mother will find a great help as she tries 
to make her children happy at home. 

All Should Learn to Sing, — ^The normal child always loves 
to sing. It begins almost as soon as it can talk, its little voice 
often carrying a tune with astonishing accuracy. As it grows 
its repertoire increases, until, when ten years old, it may easily 
know from fifty to a hundred songs. A mother should develop 
this taste, gathering the chidren about the piano and singing 
with them. A good collection of famous songs should be 
purchased, and those national airs learned which are always 
valuable. The Scotch ballads, such as "Robin Adair," "My 
Heart's in the Highlands," and "Annie Laurie"; the English 
and Irish songs, "Gayly the Troubadour," "The Brave Old 
Oak," "Kathleen Mavoumeen"; the German "Lorelei" and 
" The Watch on the Rhine" ; the French " Marseillaise," and our 
own patriotic airs — should all be familiar, as well as the many 
beautiful Christmas songs, and the stately hymns of the ages. 

General Culture in Music, — Children should learn to under- 
stand and appreciate music as a part of their general education. 
In a city there are always afternoon concerts to be attended in 
the winter months, especially those of fine orchestral music 
intended for children. The life-story of each of the great com- 
posers should be known, the numbers on the programme ex- 
plained as far as possible, the motif mside clear, and the child's 
ear taught to follow the different instruments. Children love 
such music, and will listen delightedly to a performance that 
is wholly classic. 

Where such concerts are beyond reach, a mother should 
try in some way to provide a substitute for them. Even in 
country places amateur recitals can be arranged with little 
trouble. It is a duty we owe our children to give them an in- 
telligent knowledge of the great composers and their works. 

Educational Valtie of Drawing, — As every girl was once 
expected to play the piano, so ability to copy landscapes in oil 



DEVELOPMENT AND DISCIPLINE 111 

or paint flowers in water-color, was considered imperative. We 
understand to-day that it is the training of the eye and hand 
that is essential, not the mere production of pictures. Every 
child is trained in colors and their values in the kindergarten, 
and in our public schools drawing is correctly taught. The 
children have cubes and cylinders, flowers and vegetables, and 
plaster casts, given them to copy, and all this is most helpful, 
but the parents' interest in the child's drawings is necessary. A 
frame and mat of medium size with a movable back may be 
prepared easily, and into this the sketches may be slipped which 
a child makes at school, each one in turn giving place to a better. 
Of course no mother will be so imwise as to hang up these little 
pictures on the parlor wall for the eyes of callers; the child's 
own room, or better still, the mother's, is where they belong. 
Appreciation, not compliment, is to be desired. 

Sketching from nature in the smnmer vacation is interesting, 
and will be a real source of advancement if a child has any 
aptitude whatever. Unlike the study of music, there need be 
little or no tedious monotony about drawing. But the same 
course may be pursued as has just been suggested — lay the 
foundations well, let the child advance for a time, and then 
decide whether a special talent calls for a special training. One 
can do better things in this world than to paint crudely on 
china or caricature nature. If one is bom an artist, let 
him "thank God and take courage." If not, let him be content 
to work in other fields. 

Appreciation of Art. — ^But there is a general training in 
artistic appreciation quite apart from production, and for this 
a child needs artistic surroundings. If one is brought up in a 
house filled with gaudy furniture, poor pictures, and tasteless 
ornaments, it is doubtful whether years will eradicate all the 
mistaken ideas such things will give. It is not necessary that 
a home be luxurious to be artistic; good taste is needed rather 
than a large outlay of money. Furniture should be rather sim- 
ple, colors harmonious, and ornaments refined, to produce a 
beautiful whole. Especially the pictures should be good. Fine 
photographs of cathedrals, or statues or landscapes, are infinite- 
ly better than colored prints or crayon portraits or cheap 



178 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

woodcuts. One of the most valuable rooms in the house is 
the attic, where, as our tastes develop, those things that we 
have outgrown may be put out of our sight. Every house- 
keeper at intervals should weed her collection of pictures; if 
she cannot always put good things in the place of bad, at least 
the bad may disappear. The same principles hold true in 
buying books for children. It is not necessary that they 
should be illustrated, but if they are, the illustrations should 
be artistic. 

In every large city there are art-galleries of greater or less 
worth, but in all there are some good pictures; take the child 
to see these if possible. It is surprising how readily it will 
recognize the truth of a reproduction, and with a little instruc- 
tion will learn also to know something of artistic values. Our 
public schools do us service in hanging upon their walls 
copies of good pictures. 

There is a danger in all this against which we should guard 
our children. The emphasis should not be placed upon music 
and art to the exclusion of other things. There is a demand 
in the world for the practical man and woman, and to overtrain 
a child on the ornamental side of his nature is to unfit him to 
cope with life's chief problems. 

t^V (^V (^V 

THE CHILD'S SUNDAY 

BY CAROLINE BENEDICT BURRELL 

IN William Black's pathetic story "A Daughter of Heth" 
there is a vivid description of a Scotch Sunday in the 
minister's cold, gray house. The boys and girls sit in the 
bare parlor studying the catechism, and the oldest, promoted 
to Josephus, has wickedly cut out the inside of that thick 
volume and converted it into the home of a secular white 
mouse. No one who has read the book can forget that picture. 

The Puritan's Idea. — Our own Puritan Sunday is not left 
so far behind us but that our fathers and mothers can tell stories 



DEVELOPMENT AND DISCIPLINE 179 

of days which seemed interminable in their solemn stillness. 
Charles Dudley Warner, in his charming book of New England 
life called "Being a Boy," says: "Long before sundown the 
Sunday-school book had been read, and the boy sat waiting 
in the house with great impatience the signal that the day of 
rest was over. When the sun (and it never moved so slow) slid 
behind the hills, the effect upon the watching boy was like a 
shock from an electric battery; something flashed through all 
his limbs and set them in motion, and no play ever seemed so 
sweet to him as that between sundown and dark Sunday 
night." 

The old hymns which spoke of the first day of the week as 
an "emblem of eternal rest," and of heaven as a place "where 
Sabbaths ne'er shall end, " bring back to the mind of many a 
man and woman their childish dread of an eternity of dull doing 
nothing. To rest and to be bored are synonymous in the mind 
of a child. The active limbs crave movement, not relaxation, 
the active minds employment, not repose. The question is 
not, how shall we make our children's Sunday a quiet day, so 
much as how shall we make it a busy one. 

Making a Church Attractive. — In the morning there is al- 
ways the church service, and after a child is four or five it is 
old enough to attend this regularly. Many parents think 
Sunday-school enough for children, but, as a superintendent 
of a quarter of a century said recently, "If they cannot go to 
both, send them to the church service only. Experience has 
shown me that if they go to the Sunday-school alone they grad- 
uate from that without any habit of church attendance, and 
they never form one which is worth anything." 

Our churches to-day with their stained glass and flowers, 
their organ music, choirs, and responses, are calculated to 
attract and interest children rather than repel them, and yet, 
especially in our cities, few children attend church. A clergy- 
man with an audience of fifteen hundred recently counted just 
six children in his congregation, and this with a service lasting 
only an hour and a half. 

Parents seem to think that to take small children to church 
is a cruelty to them and to then: elders as well, because of their 



180 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

restlessness. A little ingenuity, however, can prevent a child 
from being fatigued or uneasy. If, as a reward for attention 
during the early part of the service, a pad and pencil are given 
to it when the sermon begins, it will draw quietly for that half- 
hour. A paper doll or two, or even a doll twisted up out of 
mother's handkerchief, may not be amiss for a very small child; 
but, after one can read, the hymn-book will prove an unfailing 
source of amusement if one is shown how to find the hymns 
from the first lines given in the back. 

The day will come before the parents could expect it, when, 
without any suggestion, the child will feel ashamed to be en- 
tertained in church, and will begin to listen as the grown people 
do. If it is questioned when it comes home, and praised for 
having caught the text or some idea in the sermon, its pride 
will be aroused, and the problem of its attention in church will 
be solved. 

Meeting the Sunday-school Halfway, — As to Sunday-school, 
children cannot help loving that. What more could be done 
to make it delightful than has been done, when every con- 
ceivable device is employed for their pleasure and instruction ? 
Yet a parent should not depend altogether on the child's teacher; 
the lesson should be explained at home and thoroughly learned 
there. 

If books are drawn from the Sunday-school library the list 
should be made out by the parent, for these books are some- 
times the poorest of literature, full of pious twaddle or senti- 
mental cant. Fortunately a great change has been made in this 
respect of late years, and libraries are being placed in our 
Sunday-schools made up of books of standard excellence. 

Dinner, and Afternoon Occupations, — The Sunday dinner 
should be made one of the principal delights of the day to the 
children. It need not be elaborate, but it should be planned 
always to gratify their tastes, especially by way of the dessert. 
There should also be something extra in the shape of a treat 
after dinner, either of candy or of some other sweet, to mark the 
day. This will put them into such an agreeable frame of mind 
that they will entertain the suggestion willingly that their parents 
should be given a rest on Sunday afternoon. 



DEVELOPMENT AND DISCIPLINE 181 

If there is a large play-room they may be established there 
with their every-day clothes on, and a number of delightful things 
to do. The Sunday playthings will be taken out first; each 
litde girl may have her doll, an especially pretty one which never 
appears except on this day. The boys may have dissected maps 
of Palestine to put together, or they may draw maps with colored 
chalks on the blackboard, which their parents are to see after- 
ward. Then there may be mottoes or Bible verses to be pricked 
on cardboard or sewn in worsteds, or, most delightful of all, 
done in old-fashioned spatterwork. The children may also 
make scrap-books after any one of half a dozen plans, out of 
religious pictures cut out of papers and magazines on rainy 
week-days, or they may paint those already made. The doors 
of the Sunday library may be imlocked, and the books reserved 
for this day alone will seem full of interest. There should be 
a good "Life of Christ," a collection of Bible stories, "Pilgrim's 
Progress," and a few good story-books. The older children 
will enjoy a simple concordance to the Bible, and may vie with 
each other in writing out lists of birds or flowers or stones. 

The Father^ s Opportunity. — By the time all these things are 
exhausted, and the litde limbs become restless again, the naps 
of the older people will be over and there will be an opportunity 
for noise. If the children's home is in the country nothing 
can fill up the rest of the afternoon better than a walk with their 
father. Too many busy men might be described by their 
children as a boy is said to have described his father, as "the 
man who spends Sunday here." Few children feel as well 
acquainted with their father as with their mother, but Sunday 
afternoon is his opportunity. 

But if there are only crowded pavements about the home, or 
if the day is stormy, still there are pleasant things to do indoors. 
There may be a Noah's ark imder the dining-room table for 
four-footed beasts and creeping things. Daniel in the den of 
lions, or Joseph sold by his brethren, may be represented 
realistically. Or the example of one ingenious father may be 
followed, who had his boys sit on the stairs and answer questions 
of Bible history, each going up a step as he answered correctly, 
or down one as he failed. 



182 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

After the animal spirits of the children are somewhat quieted 
there is always that pleasantest of hours, the twilight time, when 
the family circle sing together their best-loved ballads and 
hynms — a time no child can ever forget. 

Then will come supper, which the children will always enjoy 
helping prepare; this should be something of a picnic meal, 
charming because of its unlikeness to any other during the week. 
After this the day will close happily enough, especially if last 
of all there is a story which begins, "When I was your age — ." 

Jf^ Jf^ 4^ 

THE CHILD AND NATURE 

BY CAROLINE BENEDICT BURRELL 

THERE is a close connection between children and things 
in Nature, so close that they see and hear and imagine 
more than those who have grown out of childhood. The 
beauty and wonder of the world are all fresh to them, and every- 
thing they see is a marvel. Their quaint sayings are a perpetual 
delight to grown people, who can only wonder at their poetic 
interpretations of ordinary things. A litde child watching the 
lightning exclaimed, " Oh, how the clouds open and shut their 
eyes!" A tiny little girl stepping sofdy over the morning lawn 
said, as she brushed the dewdrops, " See, the grass has been 
crying!" And so with everything from a silvery cobweb to a 
mountain top in the clouds, they see the mystery. 

It is only of late years that we are learning to cultivate this 
sense of nearness to Nature, and in the last decade books and 
essays have been written by our most serious men on themes 
which would have amazed our forebears. It is by no means 
a trivial thing to watch the ants or the bees, or see how the 
leaves are fastened to the twigs on the trees, or to observe the 
feeding of baby birds. We know to-day that all these are more 
important than some things which seem greater. 

The Child's Interest in Nature, — In the coimtry it is a simple 



DEVELOPMENT AND DISCIPLINE 183 

matter to train a child's powers of observation and teach him 
to take an interest in such things. From the time when he 
begins to understand words he will love to watch the cows and 
the chickens, and as soon as he can creep he will make his way 
to the flower-beds and snatch at the blossoms. And yet these 
things are only superficial, and as soon as he becomes better ac- 
quainted with them he may lose interest unless from them, step 
by step, he is led to others. 

A good way to begin with a growing child is to show him 
how the birds build their nests, and where. In the early spring, 
before the leaves have well grown, he will spy out the little new 
homes and see then! grow, and then as the mother-bird lays her 
eggs and the little ones hatch, he will watch still, with keenest 
interest, till after they have learned to use their wings, and 
have gone to other places. He will see their ingenuity in building 
their nests, their infinite patience in raising and feeding their 
abnormally hungry young, and he will try and be patient too, 
shamed, if only a little, by them; he will learn to be thoughtful, 
as he is careful not to frighten the mother-bird as she broods, 
and kind, as he helps them find food, or sets out a drinking-pan 
for them near by. Nothing is more valuable to a child than 
lessons such as these, and he is always ready to learn them if 
only the ideas are suggested to him and he is encouraged to 
notice. 

Use of Books and Museums. — It is so, too, with learning 
about other things. There are simple books about bees which 
are most interesting, and others about ants which tell most 
wonderful things of their intelligence; there are books about 
chickens and other farm animals which waken an interest in 
their funny litde ways; there are all sorts of books about flowers 
and trees and mosses and ferns. Whenever a child shows the 
slightest interest in any one thing it is always best to stimulate 
it by getting one or more of such books. In later life such train- 
ing will be invaluable. 

In a city it is not always so easy to help a child to this love 
of Nature, but it should be done, in spite of that. Every child 
loves to see things grow, and will take good care of a plant which 
begins in a seed and ends in a flower, watering it faithfully and 



184 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

delighting in it as it develops; and certainly a plant or two any 
child may have. Then there are the parks; here are squirrels 
to be fed and tamed, and caged animals to be looked at, and 
little insects and ants rim all over the grass. "How I do love a 
bug!" sighed a little city girl as a pretty speckled ladybug 
rested a moment on her arm. How all children love bugs, and 
everything alive, if only their attention is called to them and 
their real beauty and charm pointed out. 

Pet Animals Useful, — Every child should have some live 
pets to feed and love, chickens, or rabbits, or white rats or mice, 
or pigeons, or anything which does not have to be kept shut up 
unwillingly. It is really better for a child to have no pets than 
those which are miserable behind bars, for keeping them there 
means unkindness. A boy has no right to a caged squirrel, 
but a white rat, which will doze in his pocket all day and go to 
bed happily in a box at night, is another matter. Rabbits, 
too, or guinea-pigs, do not seem to mind prisons, and they make 
excellent pets. A child will often find his own pets, and toads, 
even snakes, lizards, and such things, may be tamed and dearly 
loved by some child. 

A dog is one of the things that seem to belong to a boy by 
birthright. A fox-terrier, or other small, loving little fellow really 
adds infinitely to a boy's enjoyment, and if he is responsible for 
its care, it teaches him kindness. It is, indeed, really essential 
in training children by giving them pets, that they should at 
least in part take care of them. It should be a point of honor with 
a child that he feeds them, gives them water, cleans their cages 
if they are kept in those, and makes them comfortable. If 
he is allowed to shirk this duty, half the value of the pet morally 
is lost. One lesson of neglect, and consequent suffering to the 
loved little friend, is something to be remembered all one's life 
with pain, but it is one worth learning, after all. To be careful 
and conscientious in feeding a pet means a great deal to a care- 
less boy or girl. 

Enjoyment of Nature, — As we grow older we realize that as 
we love Nature or are indifferent to it, so our joy in life is in- 
creased or diminished. It means more and more to us to see the 
beautiful things about us, if only we are trained to notice them 



DEVELOPMENT AND DISCIPLINE 185 

and love them in childhood. Too many men and women are 
blind to the colors of sunsets or moimtains or sea, and deaf to 
bird songs, and indifferent to flowers; and life seems sadder by 
far as age creeps on than it does to those who feel that Nature 
is a dear, close friend to them. The father or mother who 
constantly points out to a child these lovely things and tells 
the small, intimate facts about them, and creates an interest 
in them, is giving a clue to what later on will mean a great 
blessing. 

.^ .^ .^ 
TRAINING A CHILD FOR LIFE 

BY CAROLINE BENEDICT BURKELL 

ONE of the things which parents too often forget is that, 
after all, it is not the training of a child in itself which 
is the important thing, it is the preparation for adult life. It is 
so easy to think only of the health of the growing child, his 
schooling, his pleasures, his gradual development, and lose sight 
entirely of the fact that the whole thing is but the means to an 
end. The saying that one sometimes "cannot see the wood for 
the trees," exactly expresses the idea. The important thing is 
to get the boy or girl ready to live his or her own life when the 
parental rule is over. 

General or Special Training? — ^For this reason it is best to 
decide as early as is possible whether a child should go on with 
the common-school education or be fitted for college or pro- 
fessional life. A teacher can usually help one greatly in making 
a decision, for he knows better even than the child the bent of 
its mind, and his constant contact with growing boys and girls 
gives him an insight a parent, with limited opportunities, can- 
not have. If he is to go to college, then he must begin to prepare 
for it early, and not wait till the end of high school, when he 
will perhaps have not taken exactly the required studies for 
passing. 

So with other preparations iQV living. If the social life o£ 



186 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

the home is limited, and he is likely to go into some larger place, 
then he must if possible, receive some fitting for that. He should 
from time to time go out and see a little of the world, go to the 
nearest city and learn its ways, and read books bearing on the 
trade or business he is to follow, instead of waiting till the end 
and then taking a sudden plunge for which he is unprepared. 
The farmer's boy who wants to go to town to make his fortune 
begins with a tremendous handicap if when he is sixteen 
or eighteen he is thrown for the first time into its life. Long 
before that he should know something of it from personal 
contact. 

Training for Citizenship, — ^The training for citizenship 
should not be forgotten in bringing up a boy. His politics he 
will probably inherit from his father, but the trend of his ideas 
may be different; in any case the broader things should be con- 
stantly put before him, not the narrower; he should not hear 
the success of any party spoken of as of such importance as 
that of good government. He should be told of the good men, 
the unselfish men in power, not the mean ones; he should hear 
"graft" spoken of as a thing to be despised, and public honor 
as something to be held sacred. A boy is naturally idealistic, 
and he will respond to such suggestions as these and get a high 
ideal of political life — ^a far better thing to have than the view 
too many men hold that politics are "rotten" all through, and 
a vote something to be treated with indifference. It should 
never be thought sufficient to let a boy hear the bad side of po- 
litical life; he should hear more of its good side, and learn to re- 
gard his place in the body politic as one of importance; he should 
grow up to hold his vote as a high thing, and to strive to make 
the government better, in his own town and outside it, as far 
as his influence will count. 

The Training of a Girl, — ^A girPs training for grown life must 
be quite different from a boy's. She should be taught from 
early childhood that home-making is her province, and that 
all that comes within that she must know. She can learn to 
cook, to keep the house in order, to sew and mend, and to care 
for little children. When she grows into girlhood, still her 
education along these lines must not be neglected, but even 



DEVELOPMENT AND DISCIPLINE 187 

though she goes to college, or into society, she should still think 
of herself as one to make a home. 

It may be that she will never marry, but there are few wom- 
en who are not called on at one time or another to help in 
some one else's home, and if she would guard against that 
ireadful thing, a lonely old age, she must be ready to step into 
that vacfent place in a father's, a brother's, a friend's home, 
and fill it Ua though it were her very own. Fortunately, most 
women do marry, but not all of them have been trained to be 
home-makers, and many a mother is blamed by her daughter 
for not fitting her for adult life, for motherhood, for the care 
of a family and its responsibilities. 

Home-making of First Importance. — Often a girl, especially 
one in her teens, will determine on a "career" for herself, in 
music, painting, teaching, or possibly on the stage; perhaps 
she has really a talent for something of the kind, one her parents 
feel themselves bound to develop and cultivate; so she is ex- 
cused from home duties and permitted to give all her time to 
fitting herself for a future away from home. But this is all a 
mistake, one some one must pay for dearly later in life. Her 
talent may fail her, her health may break down, competition 
may be too keen for her and she may fall out of the ranks; 
then, if she has not had a home training, she is unfitted to go 
into her father's house, or that of any one else, and at that late 
day take up a life of happiness there. No matter how great a 
talent may appear to be, nor how unnecessary it may seem to 
fit a girl for any other life than that she will probably have, 
still she should receive exactly the same training as the girl who 
will stay at home till she marries and spend the rest of her years 
in bringing up children and keeping house. First and foremost 
in a girl's training should be the thought that she must be ready 
to be a home-ftiaker before she is anything else. 

General Rules. — ^Among the many things a parent must 
remember in bringing up children and fitting them for adult 
life some stand out preeminently. They must be made strong 
and vigorous in body, sane of mind, broad in their views, well 
educated, honest, straightforward, truthful, and unselfish; 
they should consider life as a great opportunity, not a certain 



188 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

number of years to be spent in money making and spending, 
and in pleasure and comfort. For this outlook they should have 
the help of the parental living; they should see that father and 
mother guide their lives by such principles, and this example 
should be enforced by direct teaching on such lines till the 
children grasp the beauty and force of the ideals. If only 
children grow up into men and women who are the best possible, 
the sanest, the noblest, those most devoted to the best things, 
surely parents may feel that their own lives are blessed. 



THE HOMELIKE HOME 



BY HELEN HUNT JACKSON 



NOTHING can be meaner than that misery should love 
company. But the proverb is founded on an original 
principle in human nature, which it is no use to deny and hard 
work to conquer. I have been imeasily conscious of this sneak- 
ing sin in my own soul, as I have read article after article in 
the English newspapers and magazines on the "decadence of 
the home spirit in English family life, as seen in the large 
towns and the metropolis." It seems that the English are as 
badly oflF as we. There, also, men are wide awake and gay at 
clubs and races, and sleepy and morose in their own houses; 
"sons lead lives independent of their fathers and apart from 
their sisters and mothers"; "girls run about as they please, 
without care or guidance." This state of things is "a spread- 
ing social evil," and men are at their wits' end to know what is 
to be done about it. They are ransacking "national character 
and customs, religion, and the particular tendency of the pres- 
ent literary and scientific thought, and the teaching and preach- 
ing of the public press," to find out the root of the trouble. 
One writer ascribes it to the "exceeding restlessness and the 
desire to be doing something which are predominant and in- 
domitable in the Anglo-Saxon race"; another to the passion 



DEVELOPMENT AND DISCIPLINE 189 

which almost all families have for seeming richer and more 
fashionable than their means will allow. In these, and in most 
of their other theories, they are only working round and round, 
as doctors so often do, in the dreary circle of symptomatic re- 
sults, without so much as touching or perhaps suspecting their 
real center. How many people are blistered for spinal disease, 
or blanketed for rheumatism, when the real trouble is a little 
fiery spot of inflammation in the lining of the stomach! and all 
these difficulties in the outworks are merely the creaking of the 
machinery, because the central engine does not work properly. 
Blisters and blankets may go on for seventy years coddling the 
poor victim; but he will stay ill to the last if his stomach be 
not set right. 

There is a close likeness between the doctor's high-sounding 
list of remote symptoms, which he is treating as primary dis- 
eases, and the hue and outcry about the decadence of the home 
spirit, the prevalence of excessive and improper amusements, 
club-houses, billiard-rooms, theaters, and so forth, which are 
"the banes of homes." 

The trouble is in the homes. Homes are stupid, homes are 
dreary, homes are insufferable. If one can be pardoned for the 
Irishism of such a saying, homes are their own worst "banes." 
If homes were what they should be, nothing imder heaven 
could be invented which could be bane to them, which would 
do more than serve as useful foil to set ofif their better cheer, 
their pleasanter ways, their wholesomer joys. 

Whose fault is it that they are not so? Fault is a heavy 
word. It includes generations in its pitiless entail. Sufiicient 
for the day is the evil thereof, is but one side of the truth. No 
day is sufficient imto the evil thereof, is the other. Each day 
has to bear burdens passed down from so many other days; 
each person has to bear burdens so complicated, so interwoven 
with the burdens of others; each person's fault is so fevered 
and swollen by faults of others, that there is no disentangling 
the question of responsibility. Everything is everybody's fault 
is the simplest and fairest way of putting it. It is everybody's 
fault that the average home is stupid, dreary, insufferable — a 
place from which fathers fly to clubs, boys and girls to streets. 



190 THE MOTHERS' BOOR 

But when we ask who can do most to remedy this — in whose 
hands it most lies to fight the fight against the tendencies to 
monotony, stupidity, and instability which are inherent in 
human nature — then the answer is clear and loud. It is the 
work of women; this is the true mission of women, their "right" 
divine and imquestionable, and including most emphatically 
the "right to labor." 

To create and sustain the atmosphere of a home — ^it is easily 
said in a very few words; but how many women have done it? 
How many women can say to themselves or others that this is 
their aim? To keep house well women often say they desire. 
But keeping house well is another affair — I had almost said it 
has nothing to do with creating a home. That is not true, of 
course; comfortable living, as regards food and fire and clothes, 
can do much to help on a home. Nevertheless,, with one ex- 
ception, the best homes I have ever seen were in houses which 
were not especially well kept; and the very worst I have ever 
known were presided (I mean tyrannized) over by "perfect 
housekeepers." 

All creators are single-aimed. Never will the painter, sculp- 
tor, writer, lose sight of his art. Even in the intervals of rest 
and diversion which are necessary to his health and growth, 
everything he sees ministers to his passion. Consciously or 
imconsciously, he makes each shape, color, incident, his own; 
sooner or later it will enter into his work. 

So it must be with the woman who will create a home. 
There is an evil fashion of speech which says it is a narrowing 
and narrow life that a woman leads who cares only, works only 
for her husband and children; that a higher, more imperative 
thing is that she herself be developed to her utmost. Even so 
clear and strong a writer as Frances Cobbe, in her otherwise 
admirable essay on the "Final Cause of Woman," falls into 
this shallowness of words, and speaks of women who live solely 
for their families as " adjectives." 

In the family relation so many women are nothing more, so 
many women become even less, that human conception may 
perhaps be forgiven for losing sight of the truth, the ideal. Yet 
in woman it is hard to forgive it. Thinking clearly, she should 



DEVELOPMENT AND DISCIPLINE 191 

see tliat a creator can never be an adjective; and that a woman 
who creates and sustains a home, and under whose hands 
children grow up to be strong and pure men and women, is a 
creator, second only to God. 

Before she can do this, she must have development; in and 
by the doing of this comes constant development; the higher 
her development, the more perfect her work; the instant her 
own development is arrested, her creative power stops. All 
science, all art, all religion, all experience of life, all knowledge 
of men — will help her; the stars in their courses can be won to 
fight for her. Could she attain the utmost of knowledge, could 
she have all possible human genius, it would be none too much. 
Reverence holds its breath and goes sofdy, perceiving what it 
is in this woman's power to do; with what divine patience, 
steadfastness, and inspiration she must work. 

Into the home she will create, monotony, stupidity, antag- 
onisms cannot come. Her foresight will provide occupations 
and amusements; her loving and alert diplomacy will fend off 
disputes. Unconsciously, every member of her family will be 
as clay in her hands. More anxiously than any statesman will 
she meditate on the wisdom of each measure, the bearing of 
each word. The least possible governing which is compatible 
with order will be her first principle; her second, the greatest 
possible influence which is compatible with the growth of indi- 
viduality. Will the woman whose brain and heart are working 
these problems, as applied to a household, be an adjective ? be 
idle? 

She will be no more an adjective than the sun is an adjec- 
tive in the solar system; no more idle than nature is idle. She 
will be perplexed; she will be weary; she will be disheartened, 
sometimes. All creators, save One, have known these pains 
and grown strong by them. But she will never withdraw her 
hand for one instant. Delays and failures will only set her to 
casting about for new instrumentalities. She will press all 
things into her service. She will master sciences, that her 
boys' evenings need not be dull. She will be worldly wise, and 
render to Caesar his dues, that her husband and daughters may 
have her by their side in all their pleasures. She will invent, 



192 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

she will surprise, she will forestall, she will remember, she will 
laugh, she will listen, she will be young, she will be old, and 
she will be three times loving, loving, loving. 

This is too hard? There is the house to be kept? And 
there are poverty and sickness, and there is not time ? 

Yes, it is hard. And there is the house to be kept; and 
there are poverty and sickness; but, God be praised, there is 
time. A minute is time. In one minute many live the essence 
of all. I have seen a beggar woman make half an hour of 
home on a doorstep, with a basket of broken meat! x\nd the 
most perfect home I ever saw was in a little house into the 
sweet incense of whose fires went no cosdy things. A thou- 
sand dollars served for a year's living of father, mother, and 
three children. But the mother was a creator of a home; her 
relation with her children was the most beautiful I have ever 
seen; even a dull and commonplace man was lifted up and ena- 
bled to do good work for souls, by the atmosphere which this 
woman created; every inmate of her house involuntarily looked 
into her face for the keynote of the day; and it always rang 
clear. From the rosebud or clover-leaf which, in spite of her 
hard housework, she always found time to put by our plates at 
breakfast, down to the essay or story she had on hand to be 
read or discussed in the evening, there was no intermission of 
her influence. She has always been and always will be my 
ideal of a mother, wife, home-maker. If to her quick brain, 
loving heart, and exquisite tact had been added the appliances 
of wealth and the enlargements of a wider culture, hers would 
have been absolutely the ideal home. As it was, it was the 
best I have ever seen. It is more than twenty years since I 
crossed its threshold. I do not know whether she is living or 
not. But, as I see house after house in which fathers and 
mothers and children are dragging out their lives in a hap- 
hazard alternation of lisdess routine and unpleasant collision, I 
always think with a sigh of that poor little cottage by the sea- 
shore, and of the woman who was "the light thereof"; and I 
find in the faces of many men and children, as plainly written 
and as sad to see as in the newspaper columns of " Personals, " 
" Wanted — a home. " 



DEVELOPMENT AND DISCIPLINE 193 



THE GIRL OF FIFTEEN 



BY MARGARET £. SANGSTER 



WINSOME and clever, or thoughtful and brooding, merry 
or quiet, according to her temperament, the girl of fifteen 
is in some phases a problem to her mother, and in many ways a 
puzzle to herself. She is no longer a child to play freely with 
her mates in the games which delighted her at ten, and she is 
not yet a yoimg woman, though she may have womanly tastes 
and aspirations. On certain subjects, as for instance her dress, 
her amusements, her studies, she has very decided views, and 
she is daily gaining in breadth and independence, though still 
under her mother's wing, and accustomed to refer all questions 
at issue to her for settlement as the final authority. Just now 
she needs more than ever the mother's loving guardianship 
and the wise mother keeps her daughter very close to her side 
in confidential affection, in daily intercourse, in the purest and 
most intimate association. For the little woman is passing 
through a transitional period in her development, and she can 
nowhere else be as safe and as sheltered as in the sweet seclu- 
sion of home. Should the mother decide to send her away to 
school, then the choice should be a matter of careful thought, 
and personal investigation — the atmosphere of the institution, 
the character of the teachers, and the social plane of the pupils 
being all passed under review. The associations formed in 
school may be of lifelong tenure, and it is well that a young 
girl's friendships be made among those who are the product of 
refined homes. 

At fifteen a young girl is full of enthusiasm. She adores 
her favorite teacher; she worships the classmate who seems 
to her ideally beautiful and fauldess; she makes any sacrifice 
for her chum, and chameleon-like, imless she be of very strongly , 
marked individuality, she takes on the color, absorbs the man- 
ner, and reflects the opinions of her companions. 

She expresses herself in superlatives, and exaggerates both 
likes and dislikes. It is far more important that a girl at this 



194 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

formative stage of her being shall be thrown with high-minded 
and gracious-mannered persons, than that she shall be thor- 
oughly drilled in Latin and mathematics, though this too is 
a worth-while thing. 

She resents the curb, and must be taught by example rather 
than by dictation. Her physical life is subject to well-known 
alternations and perils, and if she is to become physically a 
strong, well-poised woman, with firm health and serene vigor, 
she must now have the good food, the sound, abundant sleep, and 
the wholesome outdoor exercise which build up the body, and 
make it a fit instrument of a noble mind. . . . 

Fifteen takes its perplexities very seriously and grieves 
without restraint over its sorrows. Never was there a greater 
mistake than to suppose that early girlhood is a season of un- 
alloyed pleasure. To many girls it is a time of restlessness, of 
quicksands and reefs, of romantic dreams which bring only dis- 
appointments, and of poignant pain to sensitive natures which 
are wounded because misunderstood. 

The reserves of girlhood are an unfathomed sea. For no 
reason which she can explain, the young girl often withholds 
her thoughts and fancies from her parents, and folds herself in 
secrecy, like a rosebud not yet ready to bloom. It may be that 
her mother, who is her natural confidante, has been so busy 
and so cumbered with outside service in the church and in 
society, that she has lost her hold upon her child, and when 
this occurs it is a deplorable misfortune. For a daughter's first 
refuge should be her mother, her next best shield her father. 
Now and then it happens that a much-occupied father under- 
stands his little girl in a subtle way, uncomprehended by her 
mother. Her inexperience needs a guide, and she must be 
piloted over and across the perils which lie between her and 
the happy days awaiting her further on. The two watchwords 
of her life are sympathy and freedom, and she needs both in 
equal measure. 

Not every young girl can arrange her life as she desires. 
With severe endeavpr and splendid self-denial, some daugh- 
ters of the mountain farm and of the city tenement secure a 
college education; but others must early begin to assist their* 



DEVELOPMENT AND DISCIPLINE 195 

families by their own toil. In the great shops of our cities, and 
in every factory town, scores and hundreds of very young girls 
go to their daily avocations, and bring home their weekly 
stipend to help clothe and feed the younger children, and to 
ease the load which the hard-working parents carry. The 
accidents of circumstances do not materially affect the char- 
acter of the girl of fifteen, except that outside life and hard 
work as a rule mature her early. . 

A room of her very own, as tastefully appointed and com- 
fortably furnished as possible, should be every young girl's 
retreat. Here she may enjoy the half hours for devotion which 
tend to the souPs growth, and may read and study and entertain 
a girl friend, and be as independent of the rest of the family 
as she pleases. In this, her den, her nook, her bower, her 
special fancies may be indulged in, and her individuality find fit 
expression. 

If a girl admits me to her room, I need no other interpreter 
of her character. Her daintiness, her delicacy, her fondness 
for art, her little fads and caprices are here revealed. Does she 
care for athletics ? — her room tells the story. Her mandolin or 
banjo, her books on the swinging shelf, her desk, her dressing- 
table explain her, for wherever we live we set our seal, and this 
unconsciously. The untidy girl keeps her room in chaos and 
confusion: it looks as if swept by a small cyclone. The orderly 
and fastidious girl has a place for each belonging and puts it 
there without effort and without fuss. As for the room itself, 
it may be plain to bareness, or beautifully luxurious; a cell or 
a shrine, it owes its grace or lack of charm more to its occupant 
than to its paper and paint, its bed and bureau, its rug and 
chairs. 

When a mother cannot give her young daughter a whole 
room for herself, she should at least contrive for her a little 
sanctuary, by means of screens and curtains. Some one spot 
where she may rest the sole of her foot should belong to the 
young girl, if only a comer under the stairs, or a good-sized 
closet with a window and door. 

With its delicate papering of rose-pink or robin's-egg blue, 
its furnishings in white, its rocking-chair, its table, its sheer 



196 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

muslin draperies, its simple engravings on tlie wall, its cups 
and saucers that she may give her chum a cup of tea or choco- 
late, the girl's room need cost little in money. All the good 
things in this world do not depend on gold and silver, nor need 
we resign our right to beautiful surroundings because we must 
keep a strict rein upon expenditure, and have an eye to ways 
and means. Unless a young woman learns early to make the 
most of her little in hand, she will never be successful when 
she has a large sum in her stewardship. 

And this leads me to plead for my little Jeanie, my Gladys, 
my May, my Rosamond, whatever dear and lovely name this 
maid of fifteen summers bears, that she may have an allowance 
of her own, as well as a room of her own. Her little purse 
should have its regularly bestowed sum, given her weekly, 
monthly, or quarterly, and from it she should pay her legiti- 
mate personal expenses. Mothers sometimes give yoimg girls 
a sufficient amount to buy their own wardrobes, and to cover 
every item of their journeying to and fro, of their luxuries and 
their charities. Jeanie should keep accounts; she should not 
run in debt; she should have a little margin; she should learn 
judicious saving, as well as careful spending, and at fifteen it 
should be her custom to lay aside a portion of her means for 
the Lord's treasury. 

One final word. A sensitive girl often suflFers from the 
teasing proclivities of her brothers, and from the thoughtless 
despotism of her elder sisters. She has her rights and her 
privileges, and among them is immunity from needless jesting 
and careless tyranny. Nor ought a yoimg girl to be reproved 
in public nor held up to ridicule, nor snubbed by any incivility. 
She is an unformed being to some extent, and to mar her in 
the making is exceedingly shortsighted and unkind. Exact 
from her the performance of her regular daily duties, in the 
taskwork of the school and in the routine of the home, but in- 
clude her in the simple household pleasures, and surround her 
with the protection of considerate politeness. If she is brusque, 
be the more delicately urbane. If she is wilful, treat her with 
gentleness. If she is disturbed and disquieted, find out the 
cause. Be true to her, and expect from her the truth. Teach 



DEVELOPMENT AND DISCIPLINE 197 

her to honor her body and to conserve her health. And above 
all things else love her, and let her feel herself beloved. 

V* V* V* 

SPEAKING AND ITS FAULTS 

ONE may read in the literature devoted to the mental 
growth and to the training of children much learned 
discussion of the development of speech, and the reasons for 
this and that. The most prominent fact is that the baby's j&rst 
efforts at talking are imitative. It calls the cow "moo-moo,'* 
and cries "ting-a-ling" when it hears the bells ring. When it 
comes to forming words, which it overhears, or is regularly 
taught, it copies them not only in the language of its teachers, 
but in the form, good or bad, in which they pronoimce and use 
them. But its organs of speech are a delicate and strange 
instrument, which it requires much practice to use quickly and 
correctly. Many of the sounds of letters, especially some of 
the consonants, are very difficult for the baby's tongue, and it 
often happens that even after it has learned many words, and 
knows how to form sentences, what it says is almost unin- 
telligible to a stranger. These mispronunciations can hardly 
be helped at first, and are sometimes most amusing, so thought- 
less parents indulge them, and prolong their fimny period (they 
are, indeed, largely responsible for it) by themselves speaking 
in the mangled nonsense called "baby talk." The mother's 
impulse is to make her speech show the tenderness of her love 
and delight; but she can do this quite sufficiently by tone and 
look, without sacrificing her darling's lessons in language. 
No one more than she wishes for the time when the little 
one can answer her, and they can really converse. Will she 
not enjo^^ it better if, as fast as he gets command of his voice, 
he articulates as distinctly and pronoimces as correctly as he can 
the words he uses? Baby talk is a mistake. Let the little 
prattler learn good speech while he is about it — words fairly 
pronounced and accented, and sentences properly composed. 
Later, constant watchfulness is necessary, not only of the child, 



198 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

but of himself, by the parent, against faults he does not want to 
hear imitated. Children not only copy but invent tricks and 
objectionable habits of speaking, for they love to play with 
their new accomplishment. They mumble their words, or 
drawl, or stammer, or hesitate, with a sucked-in a-a-h between 
every phrase or two. Contortions of the face, and particularly 
of the mouth, in speaking, should be corrected. The voice 
itself ought to be looked after. Yelling and screeching may 
strain the vocal cords, and permanently ruin what would other- 
wise be a pleasing voice. Gentle, nicely modulated, yet full 
tones add greatly to a person's agreeableness, especially in 
women; and girls ought to be especially careful not to spoil 
their naturally good gifts in this direction. But these faults 
will least often make their appearance in those who hear correct 
speech and pleasant tones at home. 

«^ «^ «^ 
ASSOCIATION OF MOTHER AND SONS 

MRS. POTTER PALMER, of Chicago, one of the fore- 
most women of the Middle West, feels that the close 
association between mother and sons which she has observed 
prevailing in England ought to be more frequent here. 

" I have always had a theory," Mrs. Palmer told some ladies, 
"that where a boy keeps himself aloof from his mother and his 
sisters, he loses many manly qualities and fails to have the 
proper imderstanding and respect for womanhood. In his 
association with his own sex, the boy naturally cultivates rough- 
ness. The animal is very strongly developed in him, and there 
is nothing that will refine this animal spirit so well as the in- 
fluence of a good mother and sister. The influence is best 
strengthened by the mother making herself an import'^nt part 
of the boy's actual life. I of course do not believe in molly- 
coddle boys any more than any other sensible woman does. I 
do not like a girlish boy, but I do admire a boy who is deferential 
and thoughtful of every woman; a boy who knows when to 
remove his hat, when to step forward and help a woman, when 



• 



DEVELOPMENT AND DISCIPLINE 199 

to see that his strength is needed to take his mother and his 
sisters and all other women over the rough places which they 
are imfitted to travel alone. 

"A mother who encourages her boy to talk freely to her about 
all that comes up in his daily life, is certain to find that he be- 
comes deferential in his conversation. He will learn what 
woimds her, and try to avoid it. He will gradually see where 
she really needs his assistance, and he will be glad to give it, 
because it makes him a protector. When he has the thought 
well imbedded in his mind that he is a protector of his mother, 
the other thought will follow that he must always be a pro- 
tector of other women." 



TWO SORTS OF IMPERTINENCE 

YOUTHFUL impertinence is a fault for which parents 
should blame themselves mainly, for it rarely appears 
in a household where mutual respect and politeness prevail. 
Little children may, it is true, say very saucy things, yet quite 
innocently. Gentle reproof, and an explanation of how such 
words hurt mamma's feelings, and therefore are naughty, will 
prevent their repetition, so that, with watchfulness, a child will 
no more think of impudence toward the elders of its acquain- 
tance than of stealing their property. Note, however, that in 
such families the elders are equally free from impertinence to 
the yoimgsters. This, like so many others of the rules govern- 
ing relations between members of the same household, is a rule 
that works both ways or not at all. If, on the other hand, a 
careless father looks upon childish " sauce'' as cute and laughable 
and encourages rather than checks it, he must not be surprised 
at mortifying disrespect and impudence in later years. As for 
the shocking rudeness displayed back and forth in many an 
ill-regulated family, a single hearing will be enough to warn 
any thoughtful young parent against letting such a state of 
things grow up in his home! 

Another kind of impertinence, by young people to each 



200 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

other, IS a dangerous habit of speech to fall into, since it is 
liable to cause distress and harm which are not only needless 
but are not really intended. Girls are more guilty of this than 
boys — ^perhaps because they feel denied the use of rougher 
methods — ^yet seem prompted in most cases not by a really 
impudent or cruel spirit so much as by a fondness for saying 
"smart" things, and seeing the victim squirm. To be witty 
in a personal way, yet not sting, is a fine art hardly to be ex- 
pected of a school-girl; and her attempts often do sting sorely. 
It is bad enough when she hits at some sensitive companion 
of her own sex and class; it is worse when she darts at an im- 
offending lad some acid sarcasm as unjust as it is humiliating. 
If he is a gentleman the boy has no means of reply or defense 
in kind, and the hurt may remain long, or a good friendship be 
killed on the spot. Perhaps the girl did not mean what she 
said, or intend it to be taken seriously, and is both surprised 
and saddened (in secret) by the result of her reckless fling. If 
her suffering teaches her that a lady will treat her companions 
with respect in the midst of the gayest badinage, and keep her 
tongue within kind as well as polite limits, she will gain a lesson 
worth its cost. If not, she is likely to become that most dis- 
agreeable of women and dreadful of wives — the termagant. 

V* V* V* 

SIMPLIFYING HOUSEWORK 

BY MARION HARLAND 

BY way of establishing a frank and friendly understanding 
between writer and reader, we will admit, at the begin- 
ning of our talk, that nothing can make American housekeeping 
easy. At the same time, it is comforting to bear in mind that 
the easiest things are seldom the best things. There are 
many reasons why the woman who "runs a house'' in this land 
and at this day should have more and severer duties to perform 
than a housekeeper in the same station, and with the same 
means, in Great Britain, or on the continent of Europe. It 



DEVELOPMENT AND DISCIPLINE 201 

may reconcile our housewife to her lot and clear away a diffi- 
culty or two if we consider a few of these reasons. 

The newness of our nation runs through every department 
of life and labor. Nothing is firmly and definitely settled. 
The English farmer's wife cooks in the same kitchen and in 
the same saucepan that her mother used, and occupies exactly 
the same position filled by her grandmother. She has little 
new to learn, and knows the old thing well. If both ends meet 
and a tidy sum goes into the savings-bank every year, she is 
contented. No thoughts of building a house twice as fine as 
that over her head keep her awake at night. So long as her 
boys have steady work, and she sees her girls well behaved, in- 
dustrious, and, like the Scottish cotter's Jeannie, "respectit 
like the lave," her ambition for them is gratified. 

We hear a vast deal said of the evil effects of American 
worry upon American women, in crippling their energies and 
shortening their lives. Comparatively little is written or spoken 
of the element of restlessness that sets worry a-going. The 
wife of the farmer, or mechanic, or clerk, or small storekeeper 
never settles in her own mind just where she belongs. To use 
a slang phrase — "she never gets there." Consequently, she 
never finds a resting-place for mind and body. By the time 
her house is decently furnished, she begins to contrive how it 
can be made "smart," as the English women say. The Ameri- 
can uses a more objectionable word when she calls it "genteel." 
The girls take music-lessons, and a piano must be bought. 
Her children have playfellows who dress well, and she would 
not have her little ones seem mean or shabby. . . . 

I wonder, sometimes, what would be the effect upon our 
busding, worried housewife, were she to determine, once for all, 
just what her sphere in life is, and make up her mind to fill the 
station to which God has called her full, before straining and 
panting to climb to a higher. When will we study the old, 
sadly true, and neglected lesson that it is not the duty or trial 
of to-day that wears us out, but planning and hoping and dread- 
ing for to-morrow? 

Again, our housekeeper living, as she does always, a little 
ahead of her actual position and of her strength, if not ahead of 



DEVELOPMENT AND DISCIPLINE 203 



TEMPER, AND HOW TO MEET IT 

THE question of the child's exhibitions of temper is one 
upon which maternal opinion is divided, probably 
with good reason. As Mrs. Washburne puts it: "There are 
those who think that the baby shows real temper within the 
first few months of life, and not only that, but that he can be 
taught by pain of various kinds to control his temper. There 
are others who think that genuine temper and self-will are 
impossible before the end of the first year, and that therefore 
any attempt at discipline is quite out of place. " 

In children who are eight months old or more, there appears 
sometimes a violent, destructive anger, very hard to reckon 
with. In these emotional paroxysms the child destroys any- 
thing within his reach, screaming meanwhile at the top of his 
lungs: and Mrs. Washburne rightly regards a child in such a 
tantrum as temporarily insane. There is certainly no use 
in arguing with him, and still less use in threatening. The only 
thing to do is to keep as still and cool as possible yourself, and 
to act promptly. You have the advantage of your size; make 
use of it. Pick him up and carry him to a quiet place where 
there is nothing which he can injure and leave him there. 
Solitude and silence are his best helpers. 

"The thing we ought to try to do," this lady counsels, "is, 
first, to avoid as far as possible all occasions for such display of 
temper, for it is very easy to form in a child the habit of emotional 
uncontrol. Especially is this so when a child inherits from 
either father or mother that nervous weakness which we call 
quick temper. We need to establish a habit of poise and of 
quiet, and therefore to remove as far as possible all temptations. 

This does not mean at all that the child should have his own 
way in everything for fear of an outbreak of temper. On the 
contrary, he must never be allowed to feel that he gains any- 
thing by a display of temper, except quiet and solitude. It 
means simply that we should look ahead; and when we know, 
for example, that being lifted suddenly out of a warm bath into a 
comparatively cold room brings on crying, we should try to 



DEVELOPMENT AND DISCIPLINE 205 

This seems a severe doctrine, but the last sentence explains 
and justifies it. It has been sagaciously said that the moment 
the first, or any, baby arrives, the question presents itself — 
"Shall the house adjust itself to the baby or the baby to the 
house?" No one who has seen the former condition will uphold 
that policy. Family love may center about a baby, but there 
is no reason why all the family should be upset for years by the 
whims of a little animal who hasn't the least idea of what he is 
about or how it affects others. If you have a puppy that is 
worth raising, you treat him substantially as well as you do 
your son or daughter, but you don't hesitate to compel him to 
behave himself, nor do you disarrange your usual manner of 
life. The two animals are pretty closely alike for a while; and 
the mother might often save herself and her baby much trouble 
and sorrow then and afterward if she took a hint from the method 
her husband uses with his precious puppy. Almost every 
mother has to decide very early whether she or the newcomer 
is to rule. " If his mother is a washerwoman, he gets no answer '-^ 
as Mr. Abbott remarks; "she goes about her washing and he 
finds his place without much remonstrance. The children of 
the poor are blessed with mothers who have this problem settled 
for them by the gaunt hand of necessity. If, however, this 
lordling has been bom in the purple, even of a very light shade, 
he has a good chance of seizing the scepter at the very first 
grasp. He certainly will seize it and wield it relentlessly, if his 
mother decides to do the easiest thing. Of course, there are 
cases which cannot be considered normal. Ordinarily, however, 
the issue is not long postponed. Probably it will be most dis- 
tinctly varied over a question of feeding. The foimdation of 
an absolute monarchy within many a plain American home 
has been laid by allowing the diminutive heir apparent to engage 
in midnight feasting when every consideration of orderliness 
commanded sleep. " 

This does not necessarily imply harshness or a Spartan in- 
difference to the little one's discomfort, or refraining from the 
indulgent and comforting caresses which mean so much to 
both mother and child. "The divine plan," remarks Kate 
E. Blake, "seems to be to lead little children by delights as 



206 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

well as by penalties. . . . When all physical requirements are 
satisfied, there remains for the human being, not only intellec- 
tual requirements, but spiritual and moral ones. Love is the 
deepest force in the life of the adult being; one nught sus- 
pect from this that it has its roots deep in the emotional nature 
of the child — deeper than in his brain, even." 

Nevertheless, whether or not parents may have the courage, 
or think it wise, to make the fight in the cradle there is no ques- 
tion but that a baby accustomed to submit and adjust itself 
to circmnstances and regulations will more easily take the 
next step, which is Obedience. 

V* V* V* 

SHALL THE BOY STAY IN SCHOOL? 

THIS is a question which is forcing itself upon the attention 
of parents everywhere. It is even said to be more in- 
sistent now than formerly, because it seems to be harder each 
year to keep the boys in school. The schools are graduating 
more girls than boys. The boys are taken with the money 
germ; they want jobs and to begin to earn. They hear of men 
who have made, or are making, money, but who had little 
schooling, and they are ambitious to follow in their steps. They 
think education not worth while. So the parents have on their 
hands the problem of deciding either to compel the boy to go 
to school or permit him to take a job, or to convince him that 
education has uses he does not yet imderstand. 

An experienced Western educator, Jacob Saunders, thinks 
it depends on the boy, some boys being manifestly too stupid 
with books to go beyond the three R's, wherefore it is better for all 
concerned to let them go to work. But the average boy should 
be shown clearly the great advantages of a good education, and 
the serious loss to himself in all his future if he neglects his 
opportimities to get it. 

" The boy who is seized with the desire to set to work at once 
as a money-maker should be shown that he is in danger of 
defeating his own ambitions in this very direction by making too 



DEVELOPMENT AND DISCIPLINE 207 

early a start with an uncultivated mind. Starting only with 
an elementary education, he may for a time earn a better living 
than the boy who studies his books and then has to take time 
to get started. But the boy with a trained mind will in all prob- 
ability pass the former boy after a few years in aflfairs. At 
thirty the educated man will probably be ahead, and then he 
will keep ahead. The uneducated boy will find himself thrown 
later with men of finer training, perhaps first-class education, and 
he will not be able to compete with them. Also the man of 
education will always be ahead of the others in the social sphere. 
The man who quits school too early will find himself at a great 
disadvantage intellectually among men of better training." 

^^v ^^v ^^v 

SHALL YOUR BOY FIGHT? 

BY MARGARET E. SANGSTER 

MOST fathers answer this question in the aflSrmative. 
Few mothers do so without anxious thought and grave 
doubt. It would seem a nobler thing for a little fellow of 
ten or twelve to refuse to fight and to endure hard knocks 
with patience, than to hold his own on the playgroimd by return- 
ing blow for blow. Yet the lad who does this, whether he be 
younger or older, is likely to be misunderstood, and observation, 
in my judgment, shows that in boy-life it is often necessary to 
win peace by personal valor. A boy who is known to be ready 
in the art of self-defense is not often molested by the bully, 
the latter being generally a coward. A mother hates to see her 
little man of ten disfigured by a black eye, though there are 
many worse things that may come to him, and she should not 
too hastily condemn him if he stand up for himself at need 
in a fair fight. A boy should never tyrannize over one who is 
yoimger and weaker than himself. He should never fight a 
smaller boy. He should not hesitate for an instant to fight, if 
fight he must, preferably with his fists, in self-defense or in 
defense of a dumb animal, a little girl, a cripple, or a smaller 



DEVELOPMENT AND DISCIPLINE 209 

it is better for self and husband and all the family that a youngster 
should now and then get a bruise or a cut or even a broken limb, 
than that the mother should wear out her own and others' 
nerves by complaining fears of what may never happen. Your 
child, dear madam, and particularly your boy, is a yoimg ani- 
mal. His business in life at present is to grow; all his natural 
energy is devoting itself to building up and strengthening his 
body by exercise. His restlessness is just as natural as his 
hunger. Nature has implanted in him as in all other young 
animals an instinct for play, by which he trains himself with 
trial and experience for teachers. His father imderstands 
this better than you do, when he dubs mother's darling "the 
kid." Day by day your kid, like a real one, must try his 
powers — must rim and jump and leap and climb, and butt and 
be butted, struggling, against rough nature and matching him- 
self against other beginners in life's competition. Nature 
urges him on in this imconscious schooling— dares him to do 
feats — and now and then sets him a hard lesson; but nature does 
not want to lose him any more than you do. Therefore she has 
planted in his mind, beside the necessary eagerness for exertion, 
a proper fear of pain — a discernment of what is dangerous — 
which leads him to be cautious. He is more careful than you 
think. He has, like other animals, an instinct for self-preserva- 
tion. Let him climb. He is ordinarily a better judge of his 
ability than you are. The chances are a thousand to one that 
he won't fall, and if he does the probability is that it won't 
hurt him much. His body is light and its frame elastic. At 
any rate it is better to have him tumble now and then than to 
have him too careful of himself to take risks. You may di- 
minish the risks which alarm you by judicious instruction, and 
by encouraging physical training; but if you try to repress the 
experience necessary for manly development the result is 
likely to be either a mollycoddle, or more likely, a violent 
seizing upon chances to test his power behind your back. 
Then a real recklessness will appear, due to haste to take ad- 
vantage of his opportunity, revolt against undue restraint, 
and ignorance of what his powers really are. "In all possible 
ways," advises one who has given much thought to this anxiety- 



DEVELOPMENT AND DISCIPLINE 211 

have been Ellen Nightingale, and how fun-provoking Virginia 
Nightingale! Appropriateness is often laughably violated, as 
when an infant, dark-skinned as an Indian, and likely to 
follow her family in growing up short and stout, is named 
Lily; or her tall, blonde cousin, Violet. Smoothness of sound; 
ease of pronunciation, and of being shortened into a good 
"nickname"; appropriateness; and such distinction as can 
be gained, ought to be considered when the choice is made. 
If this were done newspapers would not rejoice in items poking 
fun at queer names, whose owners have shed bitter tears, no 
doubt, over the unwisdom of those who first inflicted them upon 
innocent victims. 

»• »• »• 



MAY CHILDREN BE NOISY? 

SOMEBODY has declared that he "wouldn't give a snap" 
for youngsters who didn't make a noise, meaning that 
their disposition to stillness showed that they lacked vigor. 
This in many cases might be true; but whether we can agree 
with the proposition generally depends a good deal upon when 
and where the noise is made, and what it is about; also, who is 
the maker. We are likely to be more annoyed by a racket 
coming out of our neighbors' yard than with that which is going 
out of our own — a, fact worth remembering! Much of the noise 
made by children cannot be prevented, in fairness, and ought 
not to be. A good part of both the crowing and the crying of 
babies is merely exercise; and this is largely true of the tots in 
the nursery and of the smaller children on the playgroimd, whose 
shrill cries and shouts, laughter and friendly wrangling, are a 
part of nature's method of developing chest and lungs and 
larynx in the human animal. If the racket is near by we don't 
like it^-but what's the use of scolding? Better betake ourselves 
to a quieter place than spoil the fim and get ourselves hated. 
When we grown-ups get excited at a ball-game, or when election- 
returns are coming in, do we not wake the echoes — sometimes 



212 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

with horns and cannon to help us? Think of that when the 
youngsters make a great din. "'Tis their nature to," and is 
probably doing them good. Of course in the house, school- 
room and other imsuitable places or time, skylarking and noisy 
behavior must be controlled, but in general be chary of suppress- 
ing the happy clamor of proper play, because there will come 
times when you must do so and expect prompt obedience, willing- 
ly given because it is felt you must have a good reason for the 
unusual request. "There are people," to quote Mr. E. H. Ab- 
bott, "for whose nerves children should be made to have some 
regard; there are invalids who do not thrive on din; there is 
necessary work which cannot be done in the midst of a racket; 
there are neighbors who declare, with some show of right, that 
they regard monopoly in noise as against public policy. So, 
whether for Cousin Bettina's nerves, or a tired mother's rest, 
or a busy father's interview with a creditor, or merely for the 
sake of reputation with the neighbors, it may be. best to disre- 
gard all other factors and insist on quiet." Now it will not 
be easy to insist on quiet on such occasions imless you endure 
reasonable noise under ordinary circumstances. Deal fairly by 
the little ones and they will deal fairly by you. 



THE USE AND ABUSE OF HOLIDAYS 

THE question of holidays, and in particular of the long 
summer vacation, is one which often gives parents anx- 
ious thoughts. It may be doubted whether the present custom of 
nine months of schooling and three months' idleness is the wisest 
that could be made; would it not be better to study right through 
the year, with four short intermissions annually, thus accomplish- 
ing in three years what now takes four ? Doubtless many parents 
would welcome such rearrangement. At present, the short inter- 
ludes at Christmas and Easter give little trouble at home; each 
has special amusements and observances in which all are interest- 



DEVELOPMENT AND DISCIPLINE 213 

ed and occupied, and which are, or may be, occasions of profit as 
well as joy. But the long summer vacation is imdoubtedly a 
trial to that large part of our population which resides in cities 
and has a small income. Their houses are small — often mere 
apartments; the mother does all or most of the household 
work; the father, however willing, can be of little assistance to 
her; and perhaps the only out-door playground is the street. To 
the tens of thousands of decent and hopeful families in such cir- 
cumstances holidays are a terror rather than a joy, and the chil- 
dren themselves welcome the reopening of school. The case is 
not easy to meet, but the best solution seems to be some sort of 
regular occupation. For rural folks no counsel seems needed in 
this direction, except not to forget that boys have a fair claim 
to time for play, and an inborn need to go a-fishing about once 
in so often. In town, let the boys, after a few days of freedom, 
go on a farm or into a factory, store, or office. They expect to 
do so a few years hence — why not begin their training now? 
The money they earn will be small, but will feel good in the 
pockets, and brain rest gained in change of work is better than 
that gained by loafing. Some girls might find similar employ- 
ment, but it would be better for them to take this opportimity 
for lessons in housekeeping, relieving the mother of all the 
tasks and responsibility for which they are fitted. One diffi- 
culty here is to get the average mother to let her daughter help 
her systematically, and in the relief from strain, take something 
like vacation herself; yet that is the only way to train the girl 
thoroughly, and probably she is much more capable than she 
is given credit for. 

As to families more fortunately situated, the most important 
caution is one against permitting the excitement of plentiful 
amusements, seaside life, or forest-camping, to blot out all 
recollection of studies. In one way or another, by tutors, by 
an hour or so of regular reading daily in the line of school-work, 
by the pursuit of some specialty in science or art or linguistics, 
the mind should be kept toned up for the business of the coming 
autumn and winter. In short, children should not be allowed 
to make vacation days a dread to their parents and a waste to 
themselves. 



214 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 



FITTING A CHILD, OR MAKING A CHILD FIT 

IT is a general belief, and in most cases a well-founded one, 
that children show pretty early some indication of what 
they are fitted to do. Parents will do well to look for these 
indications, and pay more attention to them than often is 
given. It would not only set a good many careers right, but 
it might save a lot of wasted money and tears. " There ought, " 
exclaims Zelia M. Walters, " to be a protest raised against the 
slavery to the piano that is practised in many American homes. 
Almost every mother who can buy the piano and pay for the 
instruction wishes to make musicians of her children. Long, 
weary hours of practice are imposed on the children, and any 
love of music that they may have had in the beginning is turned 
to loathing. The result is a performer who, though she may 
play anything, as is proudly claimed, can never be a musician. 
We are overrun with such performers. Mothers should learn 
that it takes something more than the skill to strike the right 
key to make a musician." 

On the other hand a young person's fancy must not be al- 
lowed to rim away with good judgment, as often happens, 
especially in the case of a bright child who thinks he or she can 
paint or write or sing his or her way to fame and fortune in a 
few short years. What millions of money and years of lost 
effort and soul-searing disappointment have been due to this 
species of mistaken notion. Let the "budding genius" try a 
flight near home — in a newspaper office, or a scene-painter's 
studio, or a church choir, and get some idea of the work to be 
done and hard conditions met, before launching out. If the 
trial fails, the gain of knowledge is worth all the cost and delay. 

v^ fS^ fS^ 

CREEPING INTO KNOWLEDGE 

IT is no easy thing for a baby to balance the oversized body 
upon the imdersized legs and iminstructed feet, and 
move them in the steady succession of steps which constitutes 



. J 



I 



DEVELOPMENT AND DISCIPLINE 215 

walking. Heretofore he has been exploring the world on 
hands and knees, and has acquired a great amount of infor- 
mation thereby, which will presently stand him in good 
stead. 

The creeping period is, as Mrs. Kate E. Blake has said, a 
trying period for the yoimg mother who has rejoiced in the 
dainty sweetness of her baby, and especially in its dear little 
hands. From this time on, however, if he grows as he should, 
only on rare occasions will he satisfy her ideas of cleanliness. 
" Other things being equal, it may safely be affirmed that the 
baby who is always immaculately clean will grow up to be a 
weak-minded man, his intellectual development having been 
sacrificed to his mother's idea of neatness. This hard doctrine 
leads to an explanation of what most mothers have little thought 
of — that creeping, while not a physical necessity to an infant, 
though an excellent exercise, is a real necessity of his intel- 
lectual life. The child has now reached the stage when he 
desires to know more about distant objects — he has just begun, 
in fact, to get an idea of distance, an idea which is necessary 
to true seeing. The idea of distance seems to rise from re- 
peated experience of the amount of effort required to reach any 
object in view. He is dependent upon experiments for other 
fundamental notions, such as ideas of hardness, softness, 
height, depth, breadth, thickness, smoothness, roughness — 
physical qualities and attributes of all sorts. "To restrict 
him to a specially prepared comer, however safe and convenient 
for the mother, is likely to limit the material from which the 
child is constructing his future power to think." 

On this subject Preyer, the great German observer of chil- 
dren, remarks: "Creeping, the natural preparatory school for 
walking, is but too often not permitted to the child, although it 
contributes vastly to his mental development. For liberty to 
get a desired object, to look at it and to feel of it, is much earlier 
gained by the creeping child than by one who must always have 

help in order to change his location It cannot be a matter 

of indifference for the normal mental development of the child 
not yet a year old whether it is packed in a basket for hours, is 
swathed in swaddling-clothes, is tied to a chair, or is allowed to 



216 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

creep about in perfect freedom upon a large spread, out- 
of-doors in summer, and in a room moderately heated in 
winter. " 

Of course he must be suitably dressed for those daily ex- 
cursions which in properly warmed houses ought to be al- 
lowed to extend ever3rwhere, even at the expense of providing 
fenders for fireplaces and ridding tables of long covers, whose 
dangling corners may be pulled, bringing with them lamps, 
vases and other dangerous things. To guard doorways and 
stairways with gates or boards sliding in grooves is not difficult; 
but it is easy to teach yearling babies not to fall over precipices. 
Thousands of children are born and reared on boats, and fall 
into the water no oftener than other youngsters. One lady 
has recorded how, by having some one push her little one ovei 
the edge of a high porch into her arms two or three times, she 
taught it to dread and keep away from the edge as well as did 
the older children. A surprisingly short training will teach a 
creeper to scramble downstairs backward, and after it gets the 
idea, and a frightening slide or two, it may be safely trusted up 
and down forty times a day. 

Mrs. Marion Foster Washburne calls attention to a difficulty 
which a baby often encoimters in its first attempts at creeping — 
a difficulty which is for a while most amusing to the onlook- 
ers, but which presently becomes tiresome even to them. As 
for the little fellow himself, he becomes perfectly enraged. 
"The trouble is this: His arms are so much stronger and better 
developed than his legs, that he pushes himself backward in- 
stead of forward. The harder he tries to go toward a desired 
object, the more rapidly he scuttles away from it, scolding and 
fretting all the time. Some patience on the part of the mother 
is here required. She will have to get down on the floor with 
him and put her hands behind first one little, pushing foot and 
then the other, imtil he gradually grows strong enough to make 
his knees do the proper work. Sometimes it takes almost a 
week to teach a baby to go forward instead of backward, and 
it is partly because few women take time so to help the baby 
that he learns to get around the difficulty himself by various 
queer procedures." 



DEVELOPMENT AND DISCIPLINE 217 



A CHILDREN'S HOUR 

THE world is too much with us," exclaims Wordsworth: 
and it wedges its way into the sacred seclusion of home, 
and between mother and children. Every mother cries put 
that she gives her life to her children; and yet the children may 
feel that they scarcely know her, or that she knows them. She, 
or they, are always too busy to get acquainted. By the time 
their school hours and her necessary household occupations, 
and the time for meals, visits, and visitors are subtracted, there 
is usually not a moment when the little creatures can feel that 
their mother is altogether their own. Especially is this true in 
city life, where nurses and governesses come in between them, 
and cannot well be put aside. 

Now suppose every mother who reads this page should, for 
a month or two as a trial, set apart the lonesome hour when the 
children have been wont to creep sleepily off to bed, as the 
Children's Hour. What if she does give up some social pleasure, 
or sacrifice a chance to read or sew. Don't let her dress be too 
fine for Nelly to maul and climb over, nor her thoughts busy 
with an3^hing but the children's talk. Silly as that may be, they 
are the keenest of observers; they will know instantly whether 
it is only mamma's body that is with them while her mind is 
far away. Nor need she fill up the hour with hints on behavior 
or morals; let reproofs wait imtil to-morrow; let them slaughter 
their tenses or tell of their school scrapes as they choose — for 
this little while she is their friend — comes near to them. 

Yet even in this gracious service there is something to be 
considered — too much dependence upon it. It is not necessary 
that the rule should never be broken. Sometimes it might 
cost the mother more than she ought to pay; or after a day of 
special excitement the youngsters would be the better for no 
more. But when a relation of sympathy and confidence exists, 
these exceptions and mutual yieldings will be easy. Therefore, 
on the whole, the Children's Evening Hour is an admirable 
institution. 



218 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 



CHILDREN AND GUESTS 

ONE of the oldest and raciest of household maxims is that 
"Children should be seen and not heard." This, it is 
true, may be over-applied, resulting in loss of self-confidence 
and embarrassing shyness in children too often and too care- 
lessly repressed. 

From the point of view of the outsider, however, it is usually 
regarded as most commendable doctrine: it is unquestionable 
that a visitor would rather see than listen to, or hear too much 
about his host's youngsters. 

There is a pleasant English custom, copied to some extent 
here, which might well prevail. At a dinner, the little people 
of the family (not babies) come in at the serving of dessert. 
They have had their evening meal earlier, and do not need to 
partake of heavy courses. Now they are permitted a taste of 
the sweets, have a bit of the festivities, receive some notice from 
the grown-ups, and get a small lesson in proper behavior; 
but they quickly retire. 

''In our American homes, too often young children monop- 
olize attention, and are real nuisances to guests," says Janet 
Curtiss; and she adds: "Some parents have this weakness: they 
constantly fail to see that their children are not interesting to out- 
siders as to themselves. After the baby's first tooth has been 
duly examined and admired — of course there was never one so 
pearly before! — don't, don't ask the bachelor guest if he wouldn't 
like to hold the dear little fellow. Why, the man would infinitely 
prefer grasping a red-hot poker! 

''After Mary has spoken her piece, and Tom's bright sayings 
have been reported, and Johnny has done all his acrobatic 
stunts, don't be oblivious to your guest's endeavors to suppress 
or hide a yawn. Send the dear children out, or at least put them 
into an inconspicuous background. 

"After they have gone, don't continue to talk about them. 
Important subjects of conversation as children really are, they 
do pall sometimes, and there are many other topics for interest- 



DEVELOPMENT AND DISCIPLINE 219 

ing discussion. At least, if your guests are themselves parents, 
permit them to get in a word now and then relating to their 
own oflfspring." 

t^ t^ t^ 

BULLYING 

THE bully is almost always a weak child, whose mind 
is affected by his physical deficiencies. This may 
explain him to a certain extent, but it does not excuse him, unless 
in the eyes of some foolish mother, from whom he hides, as 
well he can, the meanness of his soul; for the thing a bully needs 
to learn is nobility. 

Such a child, boy or girl, should be kept from associating 
with littler ones, and put with companions of his own age. 
They will probably, sooner or later, make him realize the folly 
of bulldozing; and if he comes home with the marks of a 
salutary punching don't sympathize while you soothe his bruises, 
but coolly ask him how he likes the taste of the suffering he has 
been inflicting on the little boys. If you detect anything of 
the bully rejoice when some nobler youth gives him a good 
thrashing. It's the best means of cure, and it can't be had any 
other way. 

Now is your time to try to arouse in his soul some sense of 
chivalry. Appeal to his sense of fairness. Show him the mean- 
ness of maltreating those who are defenseless, and teach him to 
scorn it. Praise the nobility, on the other hand, of defending the 
oppressed, of taking the side of the weak — ^against whom? 
Why, against bullies. Describe the mediaeval robber-barons, who 
extorted tribute from innocent merchants by force, and such cruel 
tyrants as Nero and Dionysius, who have been despised by all men 
for 2000 years for their senseless cruelties. A little bully on the 
playground, and a big one on a throne. Shame him by making 
him read the definition of the term in the dictionary. Dr. 
Johnson defined it thus: "A bully is a noisy, blustering, 
quarrelsome person, who generally puts on the appearance 
of courage." As a rule he is a coward. Ask about the other 
boys — are they not braver and more generous? Why did that 



220 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

one thrash him ? Wasn't it from generous motives ? Wouldn't 
he think a good deal better of himself than he does now if he, 
filled with manly indignation, had given instead of taken the 
punching? Would not he like to have been a knight of old, 
filled- with the spirit of chivalry? Direct him to books and 
poems describing knightly deeds and ideals, and then point out 
that although the armor and plumes and blazoned shield are no 
longer in fashion the spirit of knighthood — contending only 
with equals, succoring the weak and aiding the unfortunate — 
remains; and the gentleman of to-day is simply a knight of old 
without his armor. 

V^ tff^ v* 

" BREAKING HIS WILL " 

BY JANET CURTISS 

TRAINING the child's will is training its power to make 
right choices. Truly is it said, "The deliberate *I 
Will' is the basis of a man's character, and the 'I will' of the 
crises in life is being made by the *I will' of each day." In 
other words, the cumulative effect of will habits is tremendous. 
The training of this ruling power should begin, however, before 
a child is old enough to deliberate, while it is still the creature 
of sensation and impulse. It is, indeed, surprising how early 
a child exhibits choice, and defends its right to choice. The wise 
mother tries not to come in sharp conflict with her baby's will — 
she soothes and wins rather than coerces; she insensibly guides 
it into obedience, which is the submission of its will to a will 
better instructed than its own. Be it said here that the old 
term, "breaking a child's will" is now generally considered 
a relic of barbarism. If, however, any conflict unwittingly 
arises between mother and child, the mother must be quietly 
firm. Any other course would be disastrous to the little one. 
... It is difficult to draw the line where impulse decides, or 
reasoning over choices begins. Children differ, and probably 
the change is imperceptible because gradual. It may be safely 
taken for granted that the reason begins to work at an early 



DEVELOPMENT AND DISCIPLINE 221 

period of life, and a mother need not hesitate to appeal to it 
in simple ways. A child is soon taught that by willing it cannot 
always follow the path of its own desires. Two courses of 
action are constantiy confronting the yoimg mind. He wishes 
to do one thmg, and something tells him that he ought to do the 
other. Indeed, it has seemed to me that the proper exercise 
of will might be defined by the one word "ought." And the 
course which is governed by "ought" is the best course 
in the long run. This is a lesson to be repeated over and 
over again. The mother has the privilege of constantly present- 
ing right standards of life to her children. Doing this, it is 
wise for her to throw the responsibility of minor decisions upon 
them, and if they make mistakes, explain to them why a different 
decision would have been better. A little friend of mine had 
received some education of this sort. She was less than ten 
years old when she was sent alone about thirty miles by train. 
She had a little money of her own, a few cents to use exactly 
as she pleased, but her parents were not rich and she knew 
what it was to be careful. When the candy boy went through 
the car, she wanted to buy some — ^how she did want to do it! — 
but here were two courses presented. Telling the incident 
later, in her childlike way, she said, " I just looked out of the 
window every time the boy came along." Now that was a 
distinct effort of a reasoning will. A trifle? By no means. 
She will become a stronger woman by reason of that experience. 
Every mother ought to rejoice in a strong-willed child. 
Difficult to train? Yes, possibly; but, well trained, what a man 
he will make! It follows that trifling with will-power is a peril- 
ous business. Using a familiar proverb, "Be sure you are 
right, then go ahead." To this trifling belong the many good 
resolutions which are not kept. Better not to make than to 
break, for each break is a loss of power. Here is an authorita- 
tive description of a weak-willed man: "His interests vary 
with each suggestion that comes to him through perception or 
bodily feeling; he is never certain of his intentions, never con- 
stant in his attitude toward things, never thoroughly self-pos- 
sessed." An eminent physician recently spoke of this shilly- 
shallying state as an American disease. A person decides 



222 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

one way, and the next hour decides another way, then he harks 
back to the first decision, and never rests in anything. It is 
a state pitiable for himself and annoying to his friends. Proper 
education of the will may protect a person from such an 
imfortunate condition. " 

V^ V^ fS^ 

THE BOY AND HIS DEN 

IF you wish your boy to be supremely happy, if you want 
to cultivate within him a desire for self-dependence, if you 
would like him to become neat in appearance, you should 
let him have a room, a corner of the house that is all his 
own. '' So writes Dennis H. Stovall in an essay in ''The Mother's 
Magazine" on the value of the "den" in a boy's life and educa- 
tion. "Home for the boy should be more than a place to eat 
and sleep. The sweeter the associations of home, the greater 
the privileges allowed, the closer will the boy be drawn to it. 
Give the boy a 'den' that he can call his own, and he will feel 
that all the privileges due a boy have been allowed him. 
His interest in the home will then be such that nothing can 
entice him away, for his heart will be in his work, and his 
work and thoughts will be in his 'workshop.' Give him a 
'den' and he will make of it his castle and home. He will 
make it his refuge when trouble pursues him. It is there he 
will go when those leaden hours come, as they come at times 
to every boy, when he feels utterly friendless and all alone; and 
during these seasons of gloom, brief though they may be, he will 
close the door and let his overcharged heart well up into his 
eyes. Every boy must cry now and then, and there is no better 
place to shed tears than in the privacy of his " den. " It is there 
he will tell his mother the secrets of his heart, that she may com- 
fort and console. It is there the boy and the mother will come 
to know each other and to imderstand each other as nowhere 
else. And this close commimion will bind their hearts with a 
golden chain whose links the wear of time can never break. " 



WIFE AND MOTHER 

FIRST NATIONAL CONGRESS OF MOTHERS 

THE originator of the project of a Congress of Mothers, 
Mrs. T. W. Bimey, believing in the necessity for or- 
ganized and earnest effort on the part of the mothers of the 
land concerning questions most vital to the welfare of their 
children and the manifold interests of the home, presented the 
subject at some of the Mothers' Meetings at Chautauqua in 
the summer of 1895. The earnest enthusiasm with which it 
was received made it evident that the thought needed only to be 
disseminated in order to be quickly accepted and acted upon by 
hosts of conscientious, thinking women throughout the world, 
and to result in a centralization of their power toward the ac- 
complishment of great and necessary reforms in the interest of 
humanity. 

It was proposed to have the Congress consider subjects bear- 
ing upon the better and broader spiritual and physical, as well 
as mental training of the young, such as the value of kinder- 
garten work and the extension of its principles to more ad- 
vanced studies, a love of humanity and of coimtry, the physical 
and mental evils resulting from some of the present methods of 
our schools, and the advantages to follow from a closer relation 
between the influence of the home and that of institutions of 
learning. Of special importance would be the subject of the 
means of developing in children characteristics which would 
elevate and ennoble them, and thus assist in overcoming the 
conditions which now prompt crime, and make necessary the 
maintenance of jails, workhouses, and reformatories. 

The impulse was found in the love of home, mothers, fathers 
and children; belief in the necessity for organized and earnest 
efforts on the part of the fathers and mothers of the land con- 

223 



224 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

ceming questions most vital to the welfare of the children and 
the home. 

The direct object of the Congress, was, then, to wipe out the 
strongholds of maternal ignorance; to make of every household 
a home by educating the mothers and fathers in true parent- 
hood, and by bettering its conditions, multiplying its pleasures, 
and creating more ideal surroundings for its children; to 
purify the fountains of evil, and render reform needless; to 
forestall philanthropy by securing more healthful living, better 
housing, more economical planning, purer amusements, more 
means of self-support; to lead mothers to thought on their 
own responsibility, to the end that the evil resulting from 
ignorance, indiflFerence and neglect, be eradicated; to arouse 
mothers to a full appreciation of educational methods, to the 
duty and necessity of investigating methods, and to their re- 
sponsibility in the matter of choosing the best educators for 
their children. 

Amid the maze of manifold theories and schemes for human 
betterment the idea has been growing that the answer to the 
crowding problems of the race lies in the conditions and possi- 
ble development of the childhood of the race, and every organ- 
ization and every institution has begun to give its share of atten- 
tion to the development of the child. Yet it has remained for 
this new society to "take the child and set him in the midst," 
making him who is already the center of love the center of 
strong endeavor, the key to the closed gates of our highest 
progress, the heart and soul of our hope that the world, becom- 
ing as a littie child, may yet enter the kingdom of God. 

4^V 4^V 4^V 

PRESIDENT ROOSEVELT'S ADDRESS 

To the Delegates to the First International Congress in America 
on the Welfare of the Childy at the White House, March lo, 1908. 

IT is a great pleasure to greet you here this afternoon. I 
receive many societies here in the White House, many 
organizations of good men and women, striving to do all that 



WIFE AND MOTHER 225 

in them lies for the betterment of our social and civic condition. 
I am glad to see them. I believe in their work; I want to 
help them. But there is no other society which I am quite as 
glad to receive as this. This is the one body that I put even 
ahead of the veterans of the Civil War; because when all is 
said it is the mother, and the mother only, who is a better 
citizen even than the soldier who fights for his country. The 
successful mother, the mother who does her part in rearing and 
training aright the boys and girls who are to be the men and 
women of the next generation, is of greater use to the community 
and occupies, if she only would realize it, a more honorable, as 
well as a more important, position than any successful man in 

IL. . • • 

Nothing in this life that is really worth having comes save 
at the cost of effort. I am glad when I meet men who have 
fought for their country, have served faithfully and well year 
after year for their country at the risk of their own lives; I 
respect them because they have had something hard to do and 
have done it well. When we look back to the Civil War, 
the men whom we hold in honor are not the men who stayed 
at home, but the men who, whether they wore the blue or wore 
the gray, proved their truth by their endeavor; who dared 
risk all for "the great prize of death in battle," as one of our 
noblest poets has phrased it; who spent year after year at what 
brought them no money reward, at what might result in the 
utter impairment of the chance of their earning their livelihood, 
because it was their duty to render that service. In just the 
same way no life of self-indulgence, of mere vapid pleasure, can 
possibly, even in the one point of pleasure itself, yield so ample 
a reward as comes to the mother at the cost of self-denial, of 
effort, of suffering in childbirth, of the long, slow, patience- 
trying work of bringing up the children aright. No scheme 
of education, no social attitude, can be right unless it is based 
fundamentally upon the recognition of the necessity of seeing 
that the girl is trained to understand the supreme dignity, the 
supreme usefulness, of motherhood. Unless the average 
woman is a good wife and good mother, unless she bears a 
sufficient number of children, so that the race shall mcrease, and 



226 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

not decrease, unless she brings up these children sound in soul 
and mind and body — unless this is true of the average woman, 
no brilliancy of genius, no material prosperity, no triumphs of 
science and industry, will avail to save the race from ruin and 
death. The mother is the one supreme asset of national life; 
she is more important by far than the successful statesman or 
business man or artist or scientist. 

There are exceptional women, there are exceptional men, 
who have other tasks to perform in addition to, not in substi- 
tution for, the task of motherhood and fatherhood, the task cf 
providing the home and of keeping it. But it is the tasks con- 
nected with the home that are the fundamental tasks of hu- 
manity. After all, we can get along for the time being with an 
inferior quality of success in other lines, political, or business, 
or of any kind; because if there are failings in such matters we 
can make them good in the next generation; but if the mother 
does not do her duty, there will either be no next generation, 
or a next generation that is worse than none at all. In other 
words, we cannot as a nation get along at all if we haven't the 
right kind of home life. Such a life is not only the supreme 
duty, but also the supreme reward of duty. Every rightly con- 
stituted woman or man, if she or he is worth her or his salt, 
must feel that^there is no such ample reward to be found any- 
where in life as the reward of children, the reward of a happy 
family life. 

I abhor and condemn the man who is brutal, thoughtiess, 
careless, selfish, with women, and especially with the women of 
his own household. The birth-pangs make all men the debtors 
of all women. The man is a poor creature who does not 
realize the infinite difficulty of the woman's task, who does not 
realize what is done by her who bears and rears the children; 
who cannot even be sure until the children are well grown 
that any night will come when she can have it entirely to her- 
self to sleep in. I abhor and condemn the man who fails to 
recognize aJl his obligations to the woman who does her duty. 
But the woman who shirks her duty as wife and mother is just 
as heartily to be condemned. We despise her as we despise 
and condemn the soldier who flinches in battle. A good 



WIFE AND MOTHER 227 

woman, who does full duty, is sacred in our eyes; exactly 
as the brave and patriotic soldier is to be honored above all 
other men. But the woman who, whether from cowardice, 
from selfishness, from having a false and vacuous ideal, shirks 
her duty as wife and mother, earns the right to our contempt, 
just as does the man who, from any motive, fears to do his 
duty in battle when the country calls him. Because we so 
admire the good woman, the unselfish woman, the far-sighted 
woman, we have scant patience with her unworthy sister who 
fears to do her duty; exacdy as, for the very reason that we 
respect a man who does his duty honestly and fairly in politics, 
who works hard at his business, who in time of national need 
does his duty as a soldier, we scorn his brother who idles when 
he should work, who is a bad husband, a bad father, who does 
his duty ill in the family or toward the state, who fears to do 
the work of a soldier if the time comes when a soldier's work 
is needed. All honor to the man or woman who does duty, who 
renders service; and we can only honor him or her if the weight 
of our condemnation is felt by those who flinch from their duty. 
You see, my guests, you have let yourselves in for a sermon. 
I have now almost come to the end. Before I do, however, 
I want to ask your assistance for two or three matters that are 
not immediately connected with the life in th^ family itself, 
but that are of vital consequence to the children. In the first 
place, in the schools, see that the school work is made as practi- 
cal as possible. For the boys I want to see training provided 
that shall train them toward, and not away from, their life- 
work; that will train them toward the farm or the shop, not 
away from it. With the girl, see that it is not made a matter 
of mirth that the girl who goes to college comes out unprepared 
to do any of the ordinary duties of womanhood. See, in other 
words, that with the higher education which she should have — 
for she should have a right to just as much education, to just 
as high an education, as any man — see that with that goes the 
education that will fit her to do her fundamental work in the 
world. As regards our public schools especially I want to put 
in a special word in behalf of the right kind of playgrounds. 
No school is a good school if it has not a good playgroimd. 



228 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

Help the children to play; and remember that you can often 
help them most by leaving them entirely alone. I misread 
them if they themselves do not often know how to play better 
than we old folks can teach them. Remember that in the 
city especially it is an outrage to erect a school without erecting 
a playground to go with that school. It is the gravest kind of 
wrong, not only to the children but to the whole community, 
to turn out the boys and girls, especially in the congested part 
of the city, with no place to play in but the streets. There can 
be no more important reform than to provide adequate play- 
ground; and a beginning should be made here in the District 
of Columbia. 

You cannot have good citizens, good men and women of 
the next generation, if the boys and girls are worked in fac- 
tories to the stunting of their moral, mental, and physical growth. 
Wherever the National Government can reach it should do 
away with the evils of child labor, and I trust this will be done; 
but much must be done by the actions of the several State 
legislatures; and do, each of you, in your several States, all 
that you can to secure the enactment, and then the enforce- 
ment, of laws that shall put a stop to the employment of chil- 
dren of tender age in doing what only grown people should do. 

The field of your activities is so very wide that it would be 
useless for me to attempt to enumerate the various subjects 
of which you will and ought to treat. You have come together 
to discuss the problems that more vitally than any other afiFect 
the real welfare, the well-being in the present and the well- 
being in the future, of this Nation and of all nations. I wish 
you wisdom and good judgment. You must bring more than 
one quality to your task. No mother can do her duty in her 
own home without genuine tenderness of heart, genuine senti- 
ment; but if she has only sentiment and only tenderness of 
heart she may through folly do more harm than another could 
through weakness. You must have the tenderness, you must 
have the sentiment; but woe to you and woe to the children 
who come after you if that is all that you have. With the 
sentiment, with the tenderness of heart, encourage the common 
sense that will enable you to correct the tenderness when it 



WIFE AND MOTHER 229 

becomes weakness and injustice. In addition, cultivate what 
in the long run counts for more than intellect, for more than 
sentiment — and that is character, the sum of those qualities 
which reaUy make up a strong, brave, tender man or woman. 
You cannot get along, you nor any one else, if you develop 
your intellect to the point that you lose all other things, all 
other qualities. It does not make any difference how intelli- 
gent a woman is, if she looks upon her children only with in- 
telligence, they are not going to care overmuch for her in re- 
turn. Do not forget that love must come first; that love is 
what the family is based on; but don't do children, don't do 
grown people the dreadful injustice — through a love that is 
merely one form of weakness — of failing to make the child or, 
I might add, the man, behave itself or himself. A marriage 
should be a partnership where each of the two parties has his 
or her rights, where each should be more careful to do his or 
her duty than to exact duty from the other partner; but where 
each must, in justice to the other partner no less than to him- 
self or herself, exact the performance of duty by that other 
partner. . . . 

So with the children. A hard and imloving mother does 
infinite harm to her children; but she does no more harm than 
the loving but weak and foolish mother who does not train the 
children to behave with respect for the feelings of others, who 
permits them to be selfish or cruel or thoughtless. I remember 
reading a story, years ago, that greatly interested me. It 
described how a worn, tired-looking woman was riding in the 
cars with her son, she sitting by the window. The son was a 
thoughtless boy, and soon began to whine and complain imtil 
he made his tired mother move away from and let him sit by 
the window. The observer, looking on, remarked that in the 
future there would be some unfortimate wife who would wonder 
"why men are so selfish," instead of placing the blame where 
it really ought to be placed — upon the lack of strength of char- 
acter, the lack of wisdom, the lack of genuine love on the part 
of that woman in not bringing her boy up to be unselfish and 
thoughtful of others, so that he might live decently in his own 
household, and do his work well in the world at large. 



230 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 



REPRODUCTION AND NATURAL LAW 

BY MRS. ALICE LEE MOQUE 

IN the past it has been the generally accepted theory that 
parents were merely the unconscious instruments of the 
Divine Spirit, for the working out of his will, and that the mental 
and moral attributes of their children, their temperament, 
health, character, and sex were direct decrees of the Infinite, 
which it was useless for the finite mind to try to comprehend or 
explain. 

To-day we are wiser, and have learned that Nature is the great 
exponent of sublime truth, and natural law the Creator's text- 
book, by which he teaches his children the perfection of the 
divine plan, and lifts them to a higher plane of responsibility. 

In Nature it is law, not chance. Effect is the natural se- 
quence of cause. A child, if he puts his hand into the fire, will 
be burned, not to punish him for having disobeyed the warning 
of his parents, but to teach him that he has willfully broken an 
immutable law. 

If there are known laws governing reproduction, just as 
divinely ordained and enforced as the laws of gravity, of space, 
and of motion, every man and woman, rich or poor, high or 
low, every reasoning creature, has a right to know them, for 
the truth belongs not to individuals, but to all humanity. 

If a child can be well bom by simply following certain under- 
stood laws of Nature, if the mental, moral, and physical condi- 
tion of the child at birth and for its entire existence is dependent 
upon absolute law, as inmiutable as the motions, diurnal and 
annual, of the earth itself, or the phases of the moon and the 
rise and fall of the tides, then the parents who bring into the 
world an imperfect creature are just so far culpable, inasmuch 
as they have failed to do their whole duty. 

This may sound severe, almost heartless and cruel, to parents 
with afflicted children, but we must say it, for it is the truth, 
that the fathers and mothers of the present may profit by the 
solemn lesson taught by the past, and, being shown their re- 



WIFE AND MOTHER 231 

sponsibility as parents, may fulfill to the uttermost, so far as 
lies in their power, their obligations to their own children and 
to the generations yet to come. 

We believe that in this enlightened era no one has a right 
to marry into a family where there is known insanity, or even 
partial imbecility, and the kindred evils that follow out to the 
letter the inexorable law, " The sins of the fathers shall be visited 
upon the children." Like begets Uke, the laws of heredity are 
inflexible, and the child is but the composite picture of what 
its parents are and their progenitors have been. 

In addition to woman's moral obligation to herself, let us 
speak briefly of her duty to her husband — sl duty as sacred as 
the solemn vows taken at the altar can make it — "To have 
and to hold, to love and to honor." This must mean to re- 
tain by every art and power the love and admiration of her 
mate, thereby promoting that perfect imion of souls which mar- 
riage implies, and insuring not only the happiness of the home 
and the mated pair, but the well-being of the little ones who 
may come to bless them. 

If I were asked the great requisite for marital happiness, I 
should unhesitatingly reply, health. By a wise and persistent 
observance of the simple laws relating to exercise, diet, dress, 
ventilated dwellings, and other sanitary conditions, we may all 
hope to obtain this priceless blessing, from which so many others 
flow. 

The woman with a good constitution, even if she be not either 
young or handsome, if she has the bright eye, the clear mind, 
vivacity, and buoyant spirits which only a woman physically 
sound may know, has an attractiveness of her own that will not 
only increase her comfort and happiness, but will be an impor- 
tant factor in aiding her to fulfill her whole duty as woman, 
wife, and mother. 

Our duty is clear. We must recognize our responsibility not 
alone to ourselves and the present, but to posterity and the 
future. No woman has the right to be selfish, and least of all 
will the tender, loving, maternal heart forget that every sob, 
every tear, every sigh, every fear, is a crime committed against 
her own unborn child, and from which it will suffer throughout 



232 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

its whole life. Before birth is the time to prove the strength 
and power of mother-love, not afterward, when it is too late to 
undo the grievous mistake, the fatal wrong our folly has com- 
mitted. The devotion of a lifetime, alas! will not atone to the 
child for antecedent neglect. 

The day will come when the rights of the child to be well 
bom will be recognized and respected. In that day the "de- 
fective" will demand the reason for its puny limbs, impaired 
mind, misshapen spine, pain-racked body — a life of suffering 
with blasted hopes — and the world will not condone or palliate 
the cruelty and crime committed against the unfortunate child, 
deprived of its birthright, on the old plea of ignorance or the 
pretense that God willed a defective should be born — a pre- 
tense that is contradicted by every law, human and divine. 

»• «^ «^ 
DIETETICS 

BY MRS. LOmSE E. HOGAN 

THE study of dietetics as applied to the nursery and the 
period of childhood is constantly brought to our notice 
as an important phase of domestic education. 

The first step we should take as mothers in regard to the 
careful feeding of our children should be to convince ourselves 
thoroughly of its necessity. 

Many mothers may say: " But I don't need any dietetic rules 
for my baby of eighteen months or two years. He eats every- 
thing, and is quite well." Dr. L. Emmett Holt, of the Babies' 
Hospital of New York, says he has had quite a large experience 
with those children who "ate everything" and seemed to 
relish it, and has followed a number of them to their graves 
as the ultimate result of such imreasonable and inconsiderate 
practice. 

Dr. Rotch, Professor of Children's Diseases at Harvard, says 
it is worse than folly for mothers to attempt at an early age, as 



WIFE AND MOTHER 233 

is frequently done, to accustom their children to the use of 
everything and anything from the table. 

Prof. Fonssagrives, of Paris, says the number of cases of dis- 
ease which can be arrested in children by instituting a preven- 
tive diet is almost incredible. Rousseau dwells strongly upon 
the facts that a weak body in a child enfeebles the soul; that the 
education of man begins at his birth; that simplicity in diet is 
an absolute necessity for soimd physical growth; and that the 
most dangerous period in human life is the interval between 
birth and the age of twelve. He also says, in speaking of mental 
growth, that the soul must have leisure to perfect its powers 
before it is called upon to use them. This is equally true of 
physical growth. We are working for future resistance, not for 
immediate results only, when we consider the dietetic and hygi- 
enic needs of our children, and we must not forget that there 
is a lifetime for mental development, and only part of one during 
which the physical building-up process can be regulated. If we 
will but keep in mind Rousseau's suggestive statement that the 
most important, the most useful rule in all education is not to 
gain time, but to lose it, we will move slowly but carefully in 
our work of building up a sound mind in a sound body. Just 
as at first in mental education we endeavor to shield a child 
from evil and error, instead of directly teaching virtue and 
truth, so in physical education, prevention instead of cure 
should be our watchword. Froebel says parents and nurses 
should ever remember, as underlying every precept in this 
direction, the general principles that simplicity and frugality 
in food and in other physical needs during the years of childhood 
enhance man's power of attaining happiness and vigor — true 
creativeness in every respect. He says that if parents would 
consider that not only much individual and personal happiness, 
but even much domestic happiness and general prosperity de- 
pend on this, how very differently they would act; but here the 
foolish mother, there the childish father is to blame. We see 
them give their children all kinds of poison in every form, 
coarse and fine. That this is true, even to-day — fifty years 
later — shows how little advance has been made in general in 
the direction of dietary reform. Incredible as it may seem, I 



234 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

have seen a child of four drink beer — from habit — and I was 
looked upon in the light of a faddist for protesting where I was 
not properly introduced. 

Another instance of this kind I noted while awaiting my 
turn one day in the office of a prominent New York physician 
for children, when I saw a mother with a child apparently two 
years old leave the house for a few moments to get something, 
as I heard her say, "to quiet the child," who was crying. As 
she went out she said to the servant at the door that she had 
brought the child to the physician because he wasn't well, and 
wouldn't eat. She returned in a few minutes, and it was eating 
a so-called ripe banana. The skin was green, and I felt im- 
pelled to send word to the physician to forewarn him, as the 
mother's turn preceded mine, but I did not do it. I think I 
was prevented by the apparent hopelessness of convincing such 
a mother that she was doing harm, and both the child and 
physician had my sympathy for various reasons. 

Too much stress can not be laid upon the necessity in infant 
feeding for consulting physicians in regard to substitute feeding 
and all important changes to be made in a growing child's 
diet, and equally upon a strict following to the letter of all 
directions given, without relying too implicitly upon others 
for supervision where personal attention is necessary. Condi- 
tions requiring a special knowledge of dietetics are met with in 
infants as well as in older children, and it is true that the im- 
portance of receiving a physician's advice upon the question of 
food is not always duly estimated by mothers. On the other 
hand, physicians, as a rule, in their preoccupied and busy lives, 
are too much inclined to think that a mother knows what seems 
simple to ±em; hence, unless they are directly asked for in- 
formation, they are likely to trust to the mother's judgment for 
carrying out small details. In one instance brought to my notice 
a physician was hurriedly called ten miles away at midnight to 
see an infant that was apparendy very ill. He suggested giving 
the child some water to drink, which was done. The child slept, 
and there was no further difficulty. The mother said her physi- 
cian had never told her of the necessity for giving the infant 
water to drink. He no doubt took it for granted that the moth- 



WIFE AND MOTHER 235 

er's common sense would suggest the use of water from the very 
beginning of the child's life, and, on the other hand, the mother 
waited for specific directions in every detail. 

Relative to this whole subject, Sir Henry Thompson, a noted 
English physician, and an authority upon dietetics, says: "I 
have come to the conclusion that more than half the disease 
which embitters the middle and latter half of life is due to 
avoidable errors in diet [to which might be added 'more par- 
ticularly in early years']. . . and that more mischief in the 
form of actual disease, of impaired vigor, and of shortened life 
accrues to civilized man . . . from erroneous habits of eating 
than from the habitual use of alcoholic drink, considerable as I 
know that evil to be. " 

Schools, public and private, should not overlook the impor- 
tance of the study of dietetics, and the press, on accoimt of its 
ability to reach the people, must realize the opportunity of 
supplying the need felt everywhere for practical instruction. 
Then all mothers and home-makers in the land, those indirect 
nation-makers, will easily come to imderstand the underlying 
principles involved, and will apply this knowledge in such a way 
as to benefit all who are dependent upon their efiforts. 

V* V* V* 

CHARACTER-BUILDING IN EDUCATION 

BY MRS. ELLEN A. RICHARDSON 

WE hear a great deal about the sacredness and the respon- 
sibilities of motherhood. I wish we might say more 
about the sacredness and responsibility of the high office of 
teacher, recognizing the profession to be the highest of all pro- 
fessions, exacting a high standard in teachers, and then, appre- 
ciating the full dignity of their great mission, make teaching a 
grateful" task. 

I am sorry to say the social recognition of the teacher in 
America and the remunerative recognition are not what they 
should be when we consider the noble and imperative work to 



236 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

be done. Statistics show that the cleverest members of the pro- 
fession have little more than enough for the mere necessities of 
life. Without much leisure to grow ahead of their students, 
without the money to purchase higher advantages, what wonder 
that teachers become too often and too soon mere guide-boards 
to text-books, imtil, first from necessity and then from will, 
teachers under these circumstances consent to routine and sys- 
tem, and soon lack freshness and inspiration, while education 
becomes a deadened and deadening process, lacking all vitalizing 
power to awaken the slumbering character which lies in every 
human being! 

The wonderful kindergarten, with teachers who have been 
trained to think and originate, rests upon eternal foimdations; 
its work is all directed to the unfoldment of soul-powers; its 
objective and subjective teaching makes it a grand power in the 
opening years of a child^s life. If we can have no more, thank 
Heaven for this! But we must have more! It is the activity 
of the mind and heart which educates and determines char- 
acter. 

We are all familiar with the sentence, "Knowledge is power." 
Let us substitute for the word "knowledge" the word "char- 
acter," and say, "Character is power," and we shall have a 
new goal and modify our methods. External conditions and 
circumstances over which we may have control rule the measure 
of our character, and decide the "quantity of being" each 
individual may appropriate to himself. To do this, first of 
all we should find out in what direction lie the abilities of each 
child. Its particular love of special occupations will be a 
good index to this. We are all conscious that we have powers 
within us which we can command easily; they seem to be wait- 
ing to be called out. This is the mission of education; it is in- 
troducing human beings to their native powers; it is teaching 
them the use of those powers as tools with which to build their 
lives and character. 

To call forth, to draw out, then, the given abilities in such 
a way that each individual may find his or her right place in the 
world, and become of use to themselves, a comfort to others as 
well as to themselves. Adding thus to the harmony of the 



WIFE AND MOTHER 237 

world would be the result of such an educating process, creating 
a heaven on earth, and a condition which does not leave the 
question debatable as to whether the training of character 
morally or the training of his intellectual life alone is of the 
greatest value. 

A man may be smart with an intellectual education, but he 
can never be great without soul-culture. 

Well it is for our future prospects that such excellent strides 
have been made by the kindergartens, the kitchen-gardens, the 
manual-training schools, and all the industrial schools which 
are at the base of true education. But the car of progress 
must run on the double track of theory and practice. After 
teaching the soul to use its own powers, to think boldly, clearly, 
grandly, and beneficially for its own welfare, it must be led to 
think of its value in the divine economy of all life; it must 
think, work, and live for the welfare of all mankind, or there 
will be no expansion of character. There can be no "quantity 
of being" if there is no proper use of the powers of the being — • 
no proper exercise of the functions of the mind and life in out- 
ward forms. Without it there can be no development of the 
spiritual being, any more than there is development of muscle in 
the arm which never moves itself. 

As we claim that the first step in the development of the 
powers of life is in educating the soul to think and act for itself, 
so we claim that the second step, to insure an ever-increasing 
influx of powers, is in the use of those powers for others and for 
human progress. Such exercise will bring bright thoughts 
which have never been thought before; thoughts which will 
glitter as new coin from the treasury of heaven; thoughts ac- 
cording to the demands of the age and existing conditions, by 
which great mysteries shall be illuminated, and the problems 
of science, government, and sociology shall be solved. 

Education should turn to practical ends, but while training 
men to practical things it should be done with a divine impulse, 
soul and body taking the training for harmonious action, 
love and wisdom creating the being whose force for good shall 
make the character strong. Then would business become moral 
and the world better. 



238 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 



SYMPATHETIC PARENTHOOD 

BY MRS. THEODORE W. BIRNEY 

THE Mothers' Congress and its work is a living epitome 
of sympathetic motherhood. As Daniel Boone, the 
brave pioneer in Kentucky, placing his ear to the earth beneath 
the shade of primeval forests, exclaimed to his companions: 
" I hear the tramp of unborn millions, who will, in the years to 
come, cross this land. " So we tell you, we are working, not 
only for the children of to-day, but for the untold numbers who 
are even now journeying earthward, and who will rise up and 
bless you for what you and every other organization in the 
world are doing to give us the ideal civilization. Cultivate sym- 
pathy in your children, but beware lest you overdo this and 
make them morbid. Like all other great truths, it is best 
taught by example. Children are naturally sympathetic. Look- 
ing from my window one day on the eve of a summer departure, 
I saw two litde figures going slowly down the path, and care- 
fully sprinkling something as they went. Upon inquiry at 
luncheon as to what they were doing, the eldest replied, " Oh, 
Mamma, we are sprinkling bread-crumbs, so the poor litde 
ants won't get hungry while we are away." 

Many heart-broken lonely men and women suflfer so much 
before they attain imto the joys of sympathy with and of ser- 
vice for others, and this they might often have been spared, 
had they been encouraged to think of others in their childhood. 

If we could only know all that a little child feels and thinks, 
we should be so tender, so considerate of them; we hurt them 
in a thousand ways, we grown-ups; we are so absorbed with 
our point of view, we cannot see theirs, and some mothers and 
fathers never realize the full need for sympathy imtil the baby 
hands can no longer give that litde tug at coat or skirts with 
which all parents are familiar, and the baby voice has passed 
forever from earth, and there remains only that imending 
tugging at the heart-strings, wl^jch we call vain regret. 

Mary Wood Allen relates that a young merchant, intent on 



WIFE AND MOTHER 239 

business, while rushing across the city on his wheel, met with a 
collision, resulting in bruises and dislocations which kept him 
from active duties for a few days. The mental currents, which 
had been rushing out along lines of business activity, were sud- 
denly checked, and boiled and seethed in irritation and rebellion. 
" It would not have been so hard, " he said, "if I could have been 
let down easy; but this sudden stoppage from a point of intense 
activity to a state of enforced quietness is almost imbearable.'* 
One evening, while lying upon his sofa, he noticed that his little 
boy, a bright little fellow of four years, was remaining up after 
his usual bedtime, and, calling the nurse, he commanded her to 
take the child to bed. The little fellow resisted with kicks and 
screams, was scolded and slapped by his father into sullen 
acquiescence and carried off rebeUiously to bed. "I declare," 
said the father, "that child is getting to be incorrigible. I shall 
certainly have to take him severely in hand." 

This remark was addressed to a friend, a woman of expe- 
rience, who, sitting in the room, had been a witness to the pro- 
ceedings. The comment of the father opened the way for the 
expression of thoughts which were welling in her mind. "Did 
you notice what the child was doing when you ordered him to 
bed?" she said. "Why, no; not particularly. He was play- 
ing, I beheve." "He was very busy," said the friend. "He 
had a grocery store in one comer of the room, a telephone in 
another, and a magnificent train of cars with a coal-scuttle en- 
gine. He was taking orders from the telephone, doing up 
packages in the grocery store and dehvering them by train. 
He had just very courteously assured Mrs. Brown that she 
should shortly have a pound of rice pudding and a bushel of 
baked potatoes; had done up a pumpkin pie for Mrs. Smith, 
when he was rudely disturbed in his business by Sarah and 
carried off to bed. He resented, and probably if he could have 
put his thoughts into words would have said just what you did a 
short time ago — that if he could have been let down easy it 
would not have been so hard. But to be dropped suddenly 
right in the midst of business was intolerable. Now, he knows 
that to-morrow the grocery store will have been demolished, 
the telephone will have disappeared, the train will have been 



240 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

wrecked, and if he goes into business again he will have to begin 
at the foundation. You think your experience is hard enough; 
but you know there are others at your place of business who 
are looking after things as well as they can. How would you 
feel if you knew that your store was demohshed and had to be 
built up again from the foundation?" "Oh! well," said the 
father, "but that is business. The boy was only playing." 
"The boy's occupation to him was business, just as much as 
yours is to you; his mental activities were just as intense; the 
sudden checking of his currents of thought were just as hard to 
bear, and his kicks and screams were no more imreasonable in 
him than have been your exclamations and sufferings during 
the time that you have been ignominiously consigned to bed. 
You have been worrying over plans that were suddenly con- 
fused because of your accident; he goes to bed feeling that 
Mrs. Brown would be disappointed because she didn't get her 
rice pudding, and it was just as hard for him to bear this as it 
was for you to bear your experience." "Well, what would you 
have me do?" said the father. "Would you let the child sit 
up all night because he is interested in his play?" "No, but 
you might have let him down easy. Suppose you had given 
him fifteen minutes in which to rearrange his thoughts. Sup- 
pose you had called him up and said: 'Well, Mr. Grocer, I 
would like to give you some orders, but I see that it is about 
time for your store to close, and I shall have to wait until to- 
morrow.' No doubt the little grocer would have been wiUing 
to have filled your orders at once; but you could have said: 
' Oh, no. Shops must close on time, so that the clerks can go 
home. There will be plenty of time to-morrow. I see you 
still have some goods to deliver, and your engineer is getting 
very anxious to reach the end of his rim. In about fifteen 
minutes the engine must go into the roundhouse and the engi- 
neer must go home and go to bed, so as to be ready for work 
to-morrow.' 

" Do you not see that this would have turned the thoughts of 
the child into just the line that you wanted him to go? He 
would have been glad to close up his shop, because that is the 
way men do; and as the little engineer at the end of a run he 



WIFE AND MOTHER 241 

would have been very glad to go to bed and rest. Instead of a 
rebellious child sobbing himself sulkily to sleep with an inde- 
structible feeling of injustice rankling in his heart, as a happy 
litde engineer he would have gone willingly to bed, to think 
with loving kindness of that father who had sympathized with 
him and helped him to close his day's labor satisfactorily/' 
"I see," said the father, "and I am ashamed of myself. If I 
could waken him I would go to him and ask him to forgive me. 
Sarah, bring Robbie here." "He is asleep," was the reply. 
"Never mind; bring him anyhow." 

The girl lifted the sleeping boy and carried him to his father's 
arms. The child's face was flushed and tear-stained; his little 
fists were clenched and the long-drawn, sobbing breath showed 
with what a perturbed spirit he had entered into sleep. " Poor 
litde chap," said the father penitently, as he kissed the cheek 
moist with weeping, "can you forgive your father, my boy?" 
The child did not waken; but his hands gently unclosed, his 
whole body relaxed, and, nestling his head more closely against 
his father's breast, he raised one chubby hand and patted the 
father's cheek. It was as if the loving voice had penetrated 
through the encasing flesh to the child's spirit, and he had 
answered love with love; and they will always answer love 
with love. 

»• ^ «^ 
TRAINING OUR DAUGHTERS 

BY MRS. FKEDERIC SCHOFF 

IS there a woman here who feels that when she assumed the 
duties and responsibilities of wife and mother she knew 
all she needed to know in order to fulfill those duties properly ? 
Do we not feel that with our education something might have 
been given us that would have been of practical value in the 
home and the care of children ? Broad culture is helpful, but 
specific training is necessary for all professions, and for none 
more so than for the rearing of children and the judicious care 
of a home. Yet this necessary training forms no part of the 



242 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

education of our daughters. By far the majority of girls marry 
and have the care of home, husband and children, yet we ig- 
nore all preparation for such duties. Why this strange reti- 
cence and reluctance to mention such important subjects? 

Why not teach our daughters, at the proper time, the essen- 
tials of a happy marriage ? Teach them that wealth and social 
position count for nothing, imless united with purity of 
thought and life, honesty of purpose and high ideals. For 
genuine happiness and a union which will deepen in strength 
and beauty, a character which will command respect is essen- 
tial. If such standards were required by young women in 
choosing a husband, marriage and parenthood would mean the 
highest happiness, and only when such standards prevail can 
the marriage relation be what God intended. In such a union 
purity, high ideals and noble purpose are of far more conse- 
quence than wealth or position. We neglect this training, 
and the choice is made blindly, and the duties of wives and 
mothers are assumed without the knowledge which is necessary 
to perfect the lives of husband and children. To attempt to 
make a home and care for a family in sickness and in health 
without preparation, is parallel to a physician attempting the 
practice of medicine without study and with the expectation of 
gaining knowledge from experiments on his first patients. We 
would be horrified at the temerity of such a physician, but we 
complacently leave our girls without such instruction as will 
make them thrifty wives and capable mothers. 

Girls are not to blame. We direct their education, and we 
ignore the necessity for the study of such things as cooking, 
nursing and laundry-work, and we would not dream of teaching 
them how to care for a babe physically or spiritually. Thus the 
highest, holiest duty of womanhood is left to be performed with- 
out previous preparation or knowledge. Under these circum- 
stances, can we wonder that many homes are failures; many 
men and women depraved and distorted in character? A false 
conception of the nobility of work has given to many mothers 
the feeling that work is menial and not desirable for our daugh- 
ters. No task, however lowly, is menial, if the proper spirit is 
put into it, and knowledge of practical things on the part of the 



WIFE AND MOTHER 243 

home-maker will remove much discomfort and unhappiness in 
the marital life. Even with wealth, the administration of a 
home will be wiser if the wife knows when a thing is properly 
done, or can teach an ignorant servant how to do it properly. 
Unless a woman has a practical knowledge of work herself, she 
cannot tell what she ought to require of others. Half of the 
difficulties with servants come from ignorance on the part of the 
mistress. 

The most successful business men have all been trained in 
the practical details of the business in which they are engaged, 
and this practical knowledge is the basis of their success, making 
them better prepared to manage such business and more just to 
their employes. A woman to be well equipped for the work she 
undertakes needs the same practical training. Woman always 
will be the home-maker, wife and mother, and while the high- 
est culture should be hers, the study for this culture should not 
exclude that knowledge which she will need the most. If a girl 
can receive this training from her mother, there can be no better 
teacher, but how many of us are capable of giving it? Then 
there are many mothers who would not value this training, and 
in order to reach the certain benefits it should be taught in the 
public schools, and both common-school education and domes- 
tic training should be made compulsory. The well-being and 
health of another generation demand that the study of the child 
and the care of the home should be taught in the schools all 
over our land, and no girl should be given a diploma until 
she can pass an examination in the proper methods of bathing, 
clothing and nourishing infants, as well as in physiology, cook- 
ery, hygiene and all the details of home life. 

If she cannot have both, better far omit some other studies 
and lay firmly the foundation stones of proper preparation for 
the life the majority of women live. . . 

It is to the girls of to-day, to their earnest thought on child 
culture, that we must look for the greatest good. But it rests 
with you, the mothers of to-day, to see that this is made possi- 
ble. If you will give your children the light which has come to 
you from life's experience, if you will encourage them to reverent- 
ly investigate the mysteries of life, and to use the knowledge 



244 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

gained for the good of the race, you will have performed a duty 
to posterity greater than you can realize, for its benefits will 
grow, in ever- widening circles, long after you have passed on to 
the life beyond. 



THE NEEDS OF FEEBLE-MINDED CHILDREN 

BY MARTIN W. BARR, M. D. 

WE enter upon a new century of work showing greater 
possibilities and demanding a yet greater advance, and 
it is here that mothers can help us. Statistics show in the 
United States alone one hundred thousand mental defectives, 
and of these but about eight thousand are provided for in the 
twenty-four large institutions now in existence. Many of these 
institutions are already filled to repletion, and imfortunately 
with a large proportion of the idiot or untrainable class. In 
this respect the English are far wiser than we, for even with the 
title of "Homes for Idiotic and Mental Defectives," they do 
not admit the idiots into their training-schools but care for 
them in asylums apart; the economic and moral value of such 
an arrangement being self-evident. 

Not alone from this standpoint will our work require a simi- 
lar arrangement in the near future; we not only need more 
space with entire concentration of energy upon our legitimate 
work of training, but a new element not included in the last 
census will soon be pressing for admission. Results of legisla- 
tion under the compulsory education act show in the city of 
Philadelphia alone 102 1 truants, "children not to be desired 
in the regular grades." The committee reports: "There are 
some children who are mischief-makers in the regular schools 
who are better out than in. " Special schools are to be opened 
for those who are incorrigible or who need special assistance in 
study. This is but following similar experiences in England 
and on the Continent, based upon corresponding pressing needs. 
Some of these children doubtless are backward from mere phys- 
ical defect which may be overcome, but a large majority of these 



WIFE AND MOTHER 245 

*' mischief-makers" in the schools will soon be proven "mis- 
chief-makers" in society and, recognized as defectives, they will 
naturally drift into training-schools for the feeble-minded. To 
receive and train them and also to care for present demands we 
must be freed from our untrainable population, and turn our 
asylum-wards into workshops and school-rooms. The pro- 
viding of homes for idiots and for epileptics must therefore be 
the first step in clearing the way for extending the work of 
training mental defectives; but to this view the public must be 
educated, and who can do this so ably as the mothers? 

Furthermore, the training of an abnormal person, especially if 
such training is not begun early, covers a period four times 
that required for a normal child. A continuous stream flow- 
ing in from the public schools, of children tested and proven 
mental or moral defectives, and the necessity of their permanent 
sequestration recognized, will soon overcrowd our training 
schools unless there be some additional outlet. And just here 
we come face to face with the great question of the future, the 
unsolved problem of the past, a question asked of us every day: 
"For what are you training the imbecile? What place can be 
found for this child who will never grow up?" 

Society must be protected from pollution and tragedy on the 
one hand, and on the other the innocent imbecile must be pro- 
tected from punishment for heedless or reckless transgression, 
for which he is absolutely irresponsible. Both sides will de- 
mand therefore permanent sequestration. But where, and 
how? For a way must be prepared for the crisis which even 
another decade may force upon us. . . . 

Points which should commend themselves to the thoughtful 
consideration of every humanitarian association, and which for 
the common welfare need to be thoroughly ventilated are: 

First. Education of the public as to the dominating power 
of heredity. 

Second. Enactment of laws preventing the marriage of 
defectives or of their immediate descendants, coupled with 
yet more stringent measures for the imbecile, dictated by science 
and already proven by experience. 

Third. Early recognition of defectives, and separation of 



I 246 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 



trainable from untrainable classes, with suitable and distinct 
provision for each. 

Fourth. National provision for the permanent sequestra- 
tion of the imbecile under such conditions, dictated by moral 
and economic considerations, as shall be best conducive to the 
happiness of the individual and to the safety of the community. 

I bring to you no mere opinions, but convictions founded 
upon a living experience. Apart from all family ties, I have 
consecrated my best energies to this work. For twelve years, 
in a training-school numbering over a thousand, I have eaten 
and dnmk, walked and slept with the imbecile; both here and 
in Europe I have personally examined over five thousand, and I 
know whereof I speak. I know all that you have to fear from 
the imbecile. I also know his needs, his rights and the protec- 
tion he demands at our hands, and I appeal to the great heart 
of motherhood in behalf of your own, and these, whom the 
French have so touchingly named "Les Enfants du bon Dieu " 



HUMANE EDUCATION IN EARLY TRAINING 

BY RALPH WALDO TRINE 

THERE is much one-sided education in our country to- 
day. There is much training of the intellect and but 
little education of the heart. Much is the time spent in our 
public and private schools, in our colleges and universities, in 
disciplining the mind, and litde is the time spent in disciplining 
the imagination, the emotions, the higher sympathies, the train- 
ing of which along with the intellect^ constitutes the truly educated 
man or woman, the neglect of which may make, and many 
times has made, a man worse oflf than he was before there was 
any training of his intellect at all, and indeed a menace to him- 
self, to his fellow-men, to his country, and to the world at large. 
How do we know this ? We know it from the fact that every 
year numbers of our most brilliantly educated men become 
criminals, oppressors of the poor, or vampires upon our munici- 



WIFE AND MOTHER 247 

pal, State, and National governments. We know it because 
notwithstanding the fact that a larger number of people in the 
United States in proportion to its population take a college 
course than in any other country in the world, nevertheless there 
is perpetrated in it each year a greater amount of crime than in 
any other civilized country in the world, Spain and Italy ex- 
cepted. 

I have been told that in Japan if one picks up a stone to 
throw at a dog the dog will not run as you will find he will in 
most every case here in America, because there the dog has 
never had a stone thrown at him, and consequently he does not 
know what it means. This spirit of gentleness, kindness and 
care for the animal world is a characteristic of the Japanese 
people. It in turn manifests itself in all their relations with 
their fellow-men, and one of the results is that the amount of 
crime committed there each year in proportion to its population, 
is but a very small fraction of that committed in the United 
States. In India, where the treatment of the entire animal 
world is something to put to shame our own country with its 
boasted Christian civilization and power, there with a popula- 
tion of some 300,000,000 there is but one-fourth the amount of 
crime that there is each year in England with a population of 
less than 30,000,000, and only a small fraction of what it is in 
the United States with a population less than one-fourth the 
population of India. These are most significant facts. 

Those mothers who are beginning to understand the power- 
ful molding influences of prenatal conditions will understand 
that every mental and emotional state lived in by the mother 
makes its influence felt in the life of the forming child, and she 
should therefore be careful that during the period she is carry- 
ing the child, no thought or emotions of anger or hatred or envy or 
malice, or unkind thoughts of any kind be entertained by her, 
but on the contrary, thoughts of tenderness, kindness, compas- 
sion and love; these, then, will influence and lead the mind of 
the child when born, and will in turn externalize their effects in 
his body, instead of allowing to be externalized the poisoning, 
destructive effects of their opposites. 

Nothing in this world can be truer than that the education 



248 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

of a man's head, without the training of the heart, simply in- 
creases his power for crime, while the education of his heart 
along with the head increases his power for good, and this in- 
deed is the true education. 

Clearly we must begin with the child. The lessons learned 
in childhood are the last to be forgotten. The first principles 
of conduct instilled into his mind, planted within his heart, take 
root and grow, and as he grows from childhood to youth, and 
from youth to manhood, these principles become fixed. They 
decide his destiny. How important, then, that these principles 
implanted within the child's heart be lessons of gentleness, 
kindness, mercy, love and humanity, and not lessons of hatred, 
envy, selfishness and malice. The former make ultimately our 
esteemed, law-abiding, law-loving citizens; the latter law- 
breakers and criminals. Upon the training of the children of 
to-day depends the condition of our country a generation hence. 

It is impossible to overestimate the benefits resulting from 
judicious, humane instruction. The child who has been taught 
nothing of mercy, nothing of humanity, who has never been 
brought to realize the claims that dumb animals have upon him 
for protection and kindness, will grow up to be thoughtless and 
cruel toward them, and if he is cruel to them, that same heart, 
untouched by kindness and mercy, will prompt him to be cruel 
to his family, to his fellow-men. On the other hand, the child 
who has been taught to realize the claims that God's lower 
creatures have upon him, whose heart has been touched by les- 
sons of kindness and mercy, under their sweet influence will 
grow to be a large-hearted, tender-hearted, manly man. 

As a parent, in the first place, I would teach the child the 
thoughtlessness, the selfishness, the heartlessness, the cruelty of 
hunting for sport; I would put into his hands no air guns or in- 
struments or weapons by which he can inflict torture upon or 
take the life of birds or other animals. Instead of encouraging 
him in torturing or killing the birds I would point out to him 
the great service they are continually doing for us in the de- 
struction of various worms and insects and small rodents 
which, if left to themselves, would so multiply as literally to 
destroy for our use practically all fruit and plant life. I would 



WIFE AND MOTHER 249 

have him remember how many lives are enriched and beautified 
by their song. I would point out to him their habits of indus- 
try, their marvelous powers of adaptability, their insight and 
perseverance. 

Therefore I would teach him to love, to study, to care for 
and feed them. Hunting for sport to my mind indicates one of 
two things — a. nature of thoughtlessness as to the almost inex- 
cusable, or a selfishness so deplorable and so contemptible as to 
be unworthy a normal or even sane human being. No truly 
manly man or truly womanly woman will engage in it. 

Instead of putting into the hands of the child a gun or any 
weapon that may be instrumental in crippling, torturing or tak- 
ing the life of even a single animal, I would give him the field 
glass and the camera, and send him out to be a friend to the 
animals, to observe and study their characteristics, their habits, 
to learn from them those wonderful lessons that can be learned, 
and thus have his whole nature expand in admiration and love 
and care for them, and become thereby the truly manly and 
princely type of man, rather than the careless, callous, brutal 
type. 

And now I want to speak for a moment of another excellent 
opportunity for humane teaching, and one that comes near to 
every woman. I refer to the thoughtless, cruel and inexcusable 
practice of wearing the skins and plumage of birds for millinery 
and other decorative purposes. The enormous proportions of 
this traffic are something simply appalling. In the course of a 
single day last year in London and from a single auction store 
the skins of six hundred thousand birds were sold. . . . 

For the people's sakes as well, even more than for the birds', 
I would urge attention to and action along this line. The 
tender and humane passion in the human heart is too precious 
a quality to allow it to be hardened or effaced by practices such 
as we so often indulge in. Even from an economic standpoint, 
the service that birds render us every year, so far as vegetation is 
concerned, is literally beyond computation. Were they all 
killed off, the world would soon become practically uninhabit- 
able for man, because vegetation would each year be blighted 
or consumed by the broods of insects that would infest it. It 



250 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

is but necessary to realize how rapidly even during the past 
several years insect life has been increasing in some places, so 
as to tax to the utmost the skill of the farmer, the gardener, 
and the fruit grower. Instead, then, of schooling the child to 
be the destroyer of bird life, let it be guided along the lines of 
being its lover and its protector. Instead of being the arch- 
enemy of, let the children be taught to become friends to, to 
care for and protect these, their fellow-creatures. Let them be 
taught to give them always kind words, and kind thoughts as 
well. Some animals are most sensitively organized. They 
sense and are influenced by our thoughts and our emotions far 
more than many people are. And why should we not recognize 
and speak to the horse as we pass him the same as we do to a 
fellow human being? While he may not get my exact words, 
he nevertheless gets and is influenced by the nature of the 
thought that is behind and that is the spirit of the words. Let 
the children be taught to become friends in this way. Let 
them be taught, even though young, to raise the hand against 
all misuse, abuse, and cruelty. Let them be taught that the 
horse, for example, when tired or when its load is heavy, needs 
encouragement the same as a man or a woman needs it, and 
that the whip is not necessary, except indeed, in cases where 
he has not been taught to respond to words, but only to the whip. 

Were I an educator, then, my influence along the lines of hu- 
mane heart-training I would endeavor to make my chief ser- 
vice to my pupils. The rules and principles and even facts 
that are taught them will, nine-tenths of them at least, by and 
by be forgotten, but by bringing into their lives this higher 
influence, at once the root and the flower of all that is worthy 
of the name education, I would give them something that 
would place them at once in the ranks of the noblest of the race. 
I would give not only special attention and time to this humane 
education, but I would introduce it into, and cause it to permeate 
all of my work. A teacher with a little insight will be able to 
find opportunities on every hand. 

Then were I a mother, I would infuse this same humane in- 
fluence into all phases of the child's life and growth. Quietly 
and indirectly I would make all things speak to him in this 



WIFE AND MOTHER 251 

language; I would put into his hands books such as "Black 
Beauty," "Beautiful Joe," and others of a kindred nature. I 
would form in my own village or part of the city, were there not 
one there already, a Band of Mercy into which my own and 
neighbors' children would be called; and thus I would open up 
another little fountain of hiunanity for the healing of our troub- 
led times. 

One of the most beautiful and valuable features of the kin- 
dergarten education, which to me covers nearer the true educa- 
tion than any we have yet seen, is the constantly recurring lesson 
of love, sympathy, kindness, and care for the animal world. All 
fellowship thus fostered and the humane sentiments thus in- 
culcated will, however, return to soften and enrich the child's 
and later the man's or the woman's life a thousand or a million 
fold, for we must always bear in mind the fact that every kind- 
ness shown, every service done to either a fellow human being 
or a so-called dumb fellow-creature, does us more good than the 
one for whom or that for which we do it. 

«JV «JV <^ 

HOW AND WHEN SHALL WE TEACH SPEECH TO 

THE DEAF? 

BY MISS GARRETT 

THE duties of the present generation to the rising generation 
are being recognized and performed in the general study 
of the individual child, and the providing for it the opportu- 
nity for development of its individual powers to an extent that 
is most encouraging. . . . 

Our deaf children have been more or less sharers of the im- 
proved opportunities, but the proportion of those who have had 
the chance for the best development of which they are capable 
has been distressingly small. . . . 

The oral method for their instruction is gradually supplanting 
the sign method, so that out of about five hundred and twenty 
schools in the world about two hundred and thirty of them are 



252 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

oral schools. While the training of children in and through 
the medium of communication used in the world in which they 
must live is an advantage over a training in an arbitrary sign- 
language which is not understood by others, they still have an 
additional handicap put upon them which hearing children do 
not suflfer. With a very few exceptions, instead of their speech- 
training being commenced in babyhood, as ours was, it is de- 
layed to the school age. 

We have learned from a few mothers of deaf children that 
they can be taught and understand by sight if they are trained 
from infancy to look at the mouths and faces of people who are 
talking, and if further guided to imitate the speech they thus 
see, and if sufficient repetition of this is given them to make up 
for what hearing children get. I have known mothers who 
did this so successfully that their children were educated with 
those who hear, and have been able to mingle freely with the 
world without any difficulty in understanding other people's 
speech or making their own understood. 

It would seem as though nothing more were necessary than 
to tell this to the mothers and friends of every deaf child to in- 
duce them to do the same, but we find that two things must be 
accomplished before this work can be generally done at home. 

First. All mothers must be made to realize that it can be 
done and then they must be shown how to do it. 

Second. The public must realize that instead of treating 
deaf children differently from other children, which makes them 
diflferent, they must simply talk to them from infancy. 

The most effectual way to do this seemed to be to establish a 
home for deaf children, with an environment which would se- 
cure to the children as nearly as possible and under every-day 
home conditions, while learning to talk, the same amount of 
repetition of the language through the eye that hearing children 
get through the ear. We have done this in Pennsylvania, and 
some of this early work is being done in Chicago and Massa- 
chusetts, but very little elsewhere, but all of our work together 
is nothing to what needs to be done to give all deaf children as 
fair a chance as hearing children. As scarcely any one who has 
not seen this work realizes what can be done, and as all thinking 



WIFE AND MOTHER 253 

people when they do see it feel that it should be done for all, it 
seems reasonable to suppose that if we could establish such 
homes simultaneously in all our States and Territories they would, 
in the course of a generation, so instruct the parents, friends 
and the community as to what is possible for the children that 
after that they would be taught to talk in their own homes as 
naturally as hearing children there learn, and special institu- 
tions would be no longer needed. As there is only one deaf 
child in every fifteen hundred, the demand for homes for them 
could doubtless easily be supplied. This then seems to me 
the duty of the hour to little deaf children. With articulate 
speech, speech-reading and language, their happiness and 
independence may be said to be secure; without it they are 
more or less handicapped in every relation in life. If it is 
better for us to begin in infancy it is better for them. 

^ Jf Jm 

ALCOHOL AND THE CHILD 

BY CORA D. GRAHAM 

IN my work as a teacher and as a sociological student, 
I have found no class of people so responsive to the call of 
justice as are our young people. A young man just entering 
college, had promised his mother years ago not to smoke or 
take the social glass until he left home. Then he thought he 
would be old enough to decide for himself. The promise had 
satisfied her, she fondly hoped he would always be in the home. 
But college aspirations came with the winning of a scholarship, 
and so at eighteen he was ready to leave. He heard a lecture 
which pleaded for justice to the children of the next generation; 
for the giving up of habits which would make the next genera- 
tion less able to successfully fight life's battles; for the laying 
of a foundation upon which two souls, equally pure, might 
build the character of other souls which they might bring into 
existence. That man frankly told the writer that he had 
hitherto looked upon these habits as personal and temporal^ 



254 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

but he was now convinced that they were national and eternal 
in their effects. This is but one example of thousands of boys 
and girls, young men and young women, who, for the sanctity 
of \ht future home, the character oi future children have builded 
in their youth. 

Dr. Franz Schonenberger, of Bremen, Germany, said in an 
educational paper: " Science has established that alcohol destroys 
first and most those parts which are most delicate and latest 
developed. These are those wonderfully delicate brain cells 
upon whose proper formation the difference between men 
and beasts depends." Professor Victor Horsley, University 
College, London, England, says that the "contention so often 
made that small doses of alcohol, such as people take at meals, 
have practically no deleterious effect, cannot be maintained," 
and in discussing this subject. Dr. H. F. Hewes, of the depart- 
ment of Physiological Chemistry in Harvard Medical School, 
in the "Boston Medical and Surgical Journal," said that "the 
sum total of all the results of alcohol upon the body metab- 
olism certainly inclines the unprejudiced student to agree 
with Horsley that total abstinence has a scientific basis. " 

Science has thus shown that in whatever form or quantity 
alcohol may be taken, it attacks, first, the higher powers of 
the mind: reason, self-control, altruism, etc., and that children 
bom of users of alcohol have missed a portion of their birth- 
right, both by heredity and by the "atmosphere" of the home 
life, however outwardly it may bear the semblance of refine- 
ment and luxury. 

On the other hand, we find homes in which the teachings 
of modem science have been practised, and alcohol banished 
even as a medicine. These homes bear the hall-mark of 
happiness, whether rich or poor in this world's goods. Some 
of these homes are inclined to think and say that, having 
brought their children up with good habits, they have per- 
formed their full duty to children and to society, forgetting 
that many other children have been denied pure environment 
through ignorance or vice of parents, and must be protected 
by laws and customs made by the enlightened part of the 
community. Such self-righteous parents, usually sincere to the 



WIFE AND MOTHER 255 

core, have also not had the arrest of thought which makes one 
realize that as long as love between man and maid rules, as 
long as boys must have "chums," and girls their "bosom 
friends, " no home is really safe until all homes are so. 

Alcohol touches the home in still another way. Many 
people have been deceived by the brewers' advertisement that 
beer makes brawn, gives strength and efficiency to the work- 
ing man. Dr. Sims Woodhead, Professor of Pathology in 
Cambridge University, England, says that "no amount of 
alcohol, however given, can increase the amount of work done 
in a given period without giving rise to very serious disturb- 
ances in some part or other of the body; indeed, the amount 
of work is never increased, as any temporary excitement is 
invariably followed by depression of such nature that the in- 
crease of work supposed to be done during the period of ex- 
citation is far more than that counterbalanced by the dim- 
inution in the amount of work done during the period of de- 
pression.^^ 

Thus we see that alcohol afifects the working capacity of 
the father; working capacity determines his wage- value from 
the unskilled workman to the skilled mechanic, and from 
these earnings must also be taken a certain amount spent for 
liquor, so that the net amount of money left for the purchase 
of the necessities of his family often leaves nothing for the mak- 
ing of a right environment in which his children may grow up, 
with good books, good music, and a place to which they may 
bring their friends instead of meeting them on the streets. 
They are denied the advantages of education, lack inspiration 
which comes with it, and early in life enter the line of juvenile 
wage-earners, oftentimes with but a dull outlook upon life, 
and in turn become the fathers and mothers of another genera- 
tion of malformed or degenerate children. So that the so- 
called personal or individu^ habit becomes national in its ulti- 
mate result. 

Statistics of institutions for feeble-minded children, idiot 
and lunatic asylums, and of all penal institutions and courts, 
show that this so-called personal habit is responsible for the 
largest per cent, in the numbers committed to their respective 



256 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

keeping. If one claims the right to drink, let us answer that 
his wife and children have still greater rights upon a well- 
rounded manhood in husband and father, as well as enough 
earnings to make the home something more than four walls, 
food and clothing. Society at large, and his country have also 
rights upon every citizen. 

In a report given by a well-known inspector of schools in a 
metropolitan city, the statement was made that the number of 
contagious diseases had so alarmingly increased that he was 
considering the idea of segregating such pupils in school build- 
ings to be erected for that purpose. Tuberculosis was one of 
the diseases especially mentioned, and he said that this and 
other dread diseases found fertile soil in persons suflFering from 
malnutrition, the lack of nourishing food in sufficient quantity. 
Who that has looked at the drink-habit in but a casual way 
has not found that glance sufficient to answer the question why 
so many wives and children go without nourishing food in suf- 
ficient quantity; why it is that children from such homes, even 
though they survive to maturity, often find in some imexpected 
hour that the ill-nourished body of youth had carried through 
the years the germ of weakness which made it the prey of cer- 
tain conditions ? Does not alcohol vitaUy touch the interests of 
the home ? 

Then, in the school-room, children have been found to be 
dull in their studies and difficult to discipline. Reports sent 
home arouse the pride of parents, who, not understanding 
the real situation, blame the school and whip the child, feel- 
ing that by this means everything has been adjusted. 

At the First International Congress of School Hygiene, 
held a few years ago at a famous European capital, one whole 
section was devoted to the question of alcohol and the problem 
not only of how to reach the children under their immediate in- 
structionyhut how to bring the teachings of modern science, rela- 
tive to the nature and efifect of alcohol, to the home, to the fathers 
and mothers and older members of the homes represented by 
the pupils in the schools. This was indeed patriotism of the 
right sort, where the helping hand of the educated classes was 
held out to relieve the ignorance of the homes of the land. 



WIFE AND MOTHER 257 

The United States has set a noteworthy example to the other 
nations of the world, for every State legislature, as well as 
Congress for the District of Columbia, has placed upon the 
statute books a law whereby from twenty to thirty lessons per 
year will be given the children, teaching them, in connection 
with the various phages of physiology and hygiene, the nature 
and efifect of alcohol upon the human system. No other 
agency for good, save the public school, comes into direct 
contact with practically all the individuals forming the masses 
of this country. Here, then, must we help teachers S3nnpa- 
thetically and intelligently to carry out the provisions of the 
law, remembering that not only the millions of school chil- 
dren to-day will be personally benefited, but that we are in 
this way helping them to lay strong and clean foundations 
for future homes, for future children. 

Here we find the home calling out to the school to come 
to its rescue in this fight for the highest good of its children. 
The home is in need of other help in this fight, for one of the 
liquor dealers has said: "The success of our business is de- 
pendent largely upon the creation of appetite for drink. The 
open field for the creation of appetite is among the boys. After 
men have grown and their habits are formed they rarely ever 
change in this regard." 

The home looks to the men and women of every commimity 
to make for the passage of little feet, of curious eyes and of 
adolescent unrest, a safe path to school and to church, and on 
"little errands for mother." "The creation of appetite among 
the boys" is easily possible where the open saloon and the 
gambling dens are sanctioned by the people to whom the chil- 
dren have been directed as "our best citizens." 

These problems may seem overwhelming in their scope, 
yet that very fact means that each must lend her talent that 
the mighty chain of righteousness may be forged to protect 
the home. You may say that your talent is so small it surely 
will not help. "The farmer who drops the seed and covers it 
over has done a little, yet a future harvest hangs upon it. It is a 
small thing to take a plant from a dark comer and set it in 
the light, but think what it means to the plant." 



258 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 



THE ABUSE OF DRUGS 

BY MRS. MARTHA M. ALLEN 

AS the most successful physicians are laying aside drugs 
because they can save life better without such agents, 
wise mothers would do well to imitate their example in such 
simple cases of illness as call only for home care. Multi- 
tudes of mothers have done their children great and lasting 
injury by giving them morphine soothing syrups and mor- 
phine cough syrups, and whiskey slings, and rock and rye, 
and coca wines, and headache powders and various other 
drug preparations which lead to nervous or digestive dis- 
turbances, and sometimes to death. 

Dr. Harvey W. Wiley, Chief of the Bureau of Chemistry 
of the United States Government, has said that over a million 
of American babies have been killed by morphine soothing 
syrups. Massachusetts Board of Health years ago warned 
mothers against morphine in cough syrups and soothing syrups, 
and said that these preparations sow seeds in children which 
will bear the most pernicious fruit in adult life. 

In many homes children have been given for simple ail- 
ments such wretched nostrums which contain quite considerable 
percentage of alcohol, with other drugs which are dangerous to 
health. Most of the sarsaparillas contain iodide of potassium, 
a drug quite unfit for self-prescription. The action of this drug 
upon many persons is to bring out an eruption upon the skin. 
This is taken by the consumer as evidence that the "badness" 
in his blood is coming out. That is why this drug is placed 
in the nostrum. 

Malt extracts are used quite extensively by people who 
would not drink beer, yet most of these preparations are as 
strongly alcoholic as ordinary beer or ale. Analysis has shown 
that they are not aids to digestion as represented; in none of 
them was there found the slightest diastatic power. 

Cod-liver oil preparations are much believed in by a large 
class of people, Vinol being a special favorite. Yet Vinol in 
its printed circulars admits that it contains no oil. The Com- 



• WIFE AND MOTHER 259 

mittee on Pharmacy of the American Medical Association says: 
"A preparation claiming to represent cod-liver oil which does 
not contain fat is fraudulent." The committee examined 
Waterbury's Metabolized Cod-liver Oil and Hagee's Cordial of 
Cod-liver Oil. The latter Is claimed to "represent 33 per cent 
of pure Norwegian cod-liver oil, " yet in neither of these prep- 
arations did the analysts find oil. They found alcohol, sugar 
and glycerine, none of which is contained in cod-liver oil. 

It is hard to convince people that most of the proprietary 
medicines largely advertised are useless, and in many cases 
harmful. This is because they feel better for a time after 
taking a dose. They do not imderstand that the improved 
feeling is due to the benumbing action of the alcohol, or mor- 
phine, or whatever drug is used, nor do they know that if they 
have any disease this benumbing action is only hiding the 
symptoms; it has no curative eflfect. 

Some of the greatest scientists of Europe are teaching that 
the use of alcoholic drinks interferes with what is called im- 
munity to disease. It would be well for mothers to study these 
teachings. If whiskey slings and quinine and coal-tar remedies 
and "patent medicines" weaken the system so that disease 
can more readily find entrance, wise mothers will banish all 
such agents and seek to learn newer and better methods of 
caring for their loved ones. . . . 

Certainly health cannot be purchased at the drug store, 
nor does it exist in any bottle of liquid or box of pills, nor will 
these restore health when lost. Nature alone has power to 
heal. Proper food, exercise, fresh air, and plenty of sleep are 
nature's restoratives. 

Jm Jm tSm 

THE IMPORTANCE OF BRINGING YOUTH IN 
TOUCH WITH GREAT LITERATURE 

BY HAMILTON W. MABIE 

NO greater good fortune can befall a child than to be bom 
into a home where the best books are read, the best 
music interpreted, and the best talk enjoyed, for in these privi- 



260 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

leges the richest educational opportunities are supplied. Many 
things are said to which he lacks the key; but the atmosphere 
of such a home envelops him in the most receptive years; his 
imagination is arrested by pictures, soimds, images, facts, 
which fall into it like seeds into a quick soil; his memory is 
stored without conscious efifort. It is his greatest privilege that 
a life so large and rich receives him with imstinted hospitality, 
and ofiFers him all he can receive. . . . 

The boy who hears the talk of cultivated men and women 
at table about current affairs and subjects of permanent inter- 
est has the very finest of educational opportunities; the boy who 
listens to talk which is intentionally brought down to the level 
of his intelligence is by that act robbed of his opportunities. 
Parents make no more serious mistake than taking the tone of 
the family life from the children instead of giving that life, 
clearly and pervasively, the tone of their own ideals, convictions, 
and intelligence. Nature does not present one aspect to chil- 
dren, another to mature persons, and a third to the aged; she 
presents the same phenomena to all, and each age takes that 
which appeals to it, dimly discerning, at the same time, the 
larger aspects which are to disclose themselves later on. . . . 

There are a great many so-called children's books which are 
wholesome, entertaining, and educative in a high degree; but 
they possess these high qualities not because they are children's 
books, but because they are genuine, veracious, vital, and human; 
because, in a word, they disclose in their measure the same 
qualities which make the literary masterpieces what they are. 
It is a peculiarity of such books that they are quite as interesting 
to mature as to young readers. Of the great mass of books 
written specifically for children it is not too much to say that 
it is a sin to put them in the hands of those who have no 
standards and are dependent upon the judgment and taste of 
their elders; a sin against the child's intelligence, growth, and 
character. Some of these books are innocuous save as wasters 
of time; many more are sentimental, untrue, and cheap; 
some are vulgar. 

The years which are given over to this artificially prepared 
reading matter — for it is a profanation to call it literature — 



WIFE AND MOTHER 261 

axe precisely the years when the mind is being most deeply 
stirred; when the seeds of thought are dropping silently down 
into the secret and hidden places of the nature. They are the 
years which decide whether a man shall be creative or imitative; 
whether he shall be an artist or an artisan. For such a plastic 
and critical time nothing that can inspire, enrich, and liberate 
is too good; indeed, the very highest use to which the finest 
results of human living and doing and thinking and speaking 
can be put is to feed the mind of childhood in those memorable 
years when the spirit is finding itself and feeling the beauty of 
the world. This is the moment when the race takes the child 
by the hand, and, leaning over it in the silence of solitary hours, 
whispers to it those secrets of beauty and power and knowledge 
in the possession of which the mastery of life lies. This is the 
time when the boy who is to write "Kenilworth" is learning, with 
bated breath, the great stories and traditions of his race; when 
the boy who is to write the lines on Tintem Abbey is feeling the 
wonder of the world and the mystery of fate; when the boy who 
is to write the "Idylls of the King'' is playing at knighthood with 
his brothers and sisters in the Lincolnshire fields, and the brave 
group of noble boys and girls are weaving endless romances of 
old adventure and chivalry. This is the time when, as a rule, 
the intellectual fortunes of the child are settled for all time. 
In these wonderful years of spiritual exploration and discovery 
the child ought to have access not to cheap stories, artificially 
and mechanically manufactured to keep it out of mischief, 
but to the records of the childhood of the race; his true com- 
panion is this august but invisible pla)anate. That which 
fed the race in its childhood ought to feed each child born into 
its vast fellowship. The great story-book of mythology, with its 
splendid figures, its endless shifting of scene, its crowding inci- 
dent, its heroism and poetry, ought to be open to every child; 
for mythology is the child's view of the world — a view which 
deals with obvious things often, but deals with them poetically 
and with a feeling for their less obvious relations. The dream 
of the world which those imaginative children who were the 
fathers of the race dreamed was full of prophetic glimpses of 
the future, of deep and beautiful visions, of large and splendid 



262 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

ax:hievement, and of that wholesome symbolism in which the 
deeper meanings of Nature become plain. Out of this dim 
period, when men first felt the wonder of the world, and felt 
also the mysterious ties which boimd them to Nature, issued 
that great stream of story which has fed the art of the world 
for so many centuries, and will feed it to the end of time. For 
these stories were not manufactured; they grew, and in them is 
registered the early growth of the race. They are not idle tales; 
they are deep and rich renderings of the facts of life; they are 
interpretations and explanations of life in that language of the 
imagination which is as intelligible to children as to their elders; 
they are rich in those elements of culture which are the very 
stufiF of which the deepest and widest education is made. 

Now this quality, which invests Ulysses, Perseus, Thor, Sieg- 
fried, Arthur, and Perceval with such perennial interest, is 
characteristic of the great books, into so many of which mythol- 
ogy directly enters. The *'Odyssey" is not only one of the great 
reading books of the race; it is also one of the great text-books. 
Shakespeare is not only a great story-teller; he is also an edu- 
cator whose like has been seen only two or three times in the 
history of the world. Teach a child facts without the illumina- 
tion of the imagination, and you fill the memory; give these 
facts dramatic sequence and impart to them that s)anbolic qual- 
ity which all the arts share, and you stir the depths of a child's 
nature. The boys whose sole text-books were the "Iliad"and the 
**Odyssey,"andwho learned, therefore, all their history and sci- 
ence in terms of the imagination, became the most original, 
creative, and variously gifted men who have yet appeared in 
history; they were drilled and disciplined, but they were also 
liberated and inspired. A modern writer has happily described 
Plutarch's "Lives'' as "the pasture of great souls " ; the place, that 
is, where such souls are nourished and fed. Now the great 
poets, novelists, historians, supply the food which develops a 
strong, clear, original life of the mind; which makes the imagina- 
tion active and creative; which feeds the young spirit with the 
deeds and images of heroes; which sets the real in true rela- 
tions to the ideal. 
These writers are quite as much at home with the young as 



WIFE AND MOTHER 263 

with the mature. Shakespeare is quite as interesting to a 
healthy boy as any story-writer who strives to feed his appetite 
for action and adventure; and Shakespeare is a great poet be- 
sides. He entertains his young guest quite as acceptably as a 
hired comedian, and he makes a man of him as well. There 
is no need of making concessions to what is often mistakenly 
supposed to be the taste of children by giving them inferior 
things; let them grow up in the presence of superior things, and 
they will take to them as easily as they will take to cheaper 
things. Accustom a child to good painting, and he will never 
be attracted by inferior pictures; accustom him to good music, 
and the popular jingle will disgust him; bring him up with 
Homer, Shakespeare, Plutarch, Herodotus, Scott, Hawthorne, 
Irving, and it will be unnecessary to warn him against the 
books which are piled up at the news-stands and sold in railway 
trains. The boy who grows up in this society will rarely make 
friends with the vulgar and the unclean; he will love health, 
honor, truth, intelligence, and manliness. For reading is not 
only a matter of taste and intelligence; it is a matter of char- 
acter as well. 



ADOLESCENCE— WHAT SHALL BE 

TAUGHT ? 

WHAT SHALL BE TAUGHT, AND WHO SHALL 

TEACH IT? 

BY DR. MARY WOOD ALLEN 

NO time in a woman's life is so full of sacred joy as that hour 
when she holds in her arms her lirst-bom child. As 
she looks into the little face she begins to forecast the child's 
future and to plan for its education. Some phases of its educa- 
tion have been arranged for; the study of literature and sciences, 
of art, politics, and religion, has been provided for by the kinder- 
garten, the school, the college, the university, the Sunday-school, 
and the church. But there is a phase of its teaching to which 
doubtless the mother has given no specific thought. 

There are teachers on every side who are ready to give the 
boy instruction concerning himself; alas! not with the purity 
of the mother-heart, but tainted with suggestions which may 
make it difficult for him later in life to think purely of life and 
its relations. These teachers may be within the home circle — 
the nurse, the trusted coachman, the well-dressed and well- 
behaved child that comes in. Books, pictures, bill-boards upon 
the street, conversations in the alley, in the school-yard, are all 
instructors of little human souls. 

Children are investigators, and this world is a great treasure- 
house of mysteries. They are ever ready with queries. They 
venture into the domains of theology and philosophy, and accept 
the most marvelous statements as facts which need not call forth 
wonder. Those profoimd inquiries indicate the widening in- 
telligence of a child. He inquires because he is a thinker, a phi- 
losopher, an investigator. His inquiries are answered freely and 
frankly until he becomes interested in this personal relation of 

264 



ADOLESCENCE— WHAT SHALL BE TAUGHTf 265 

the home which is connected with himself, when he meets reti- 
cence, evasion, or positive falsehood. Yesterday, perhaps, he 
was the only child in the family. To-day another child is 
claimant for the home love. When he naturally asks concern- 
ing the advent of this new life, in all probability the answer is 
three or four dififerent things. He may be told not to ask such 
questions; he may be told a partial or a whole falsehood, or he 
may be answered in a metaphorical way which arouses further 
inquiry in his mind. 

Now if you should suggest to the mother the wisdom of teach- 
ing her child simply and truthfully the facts concerning the 
advent of this new life she would perhaps express a fear of putting 
the child to thinking on wrong lines. But he is already thinking, 
and it is important to direct the current of his thoughts. He 
can be taught impurity; and he can be taught purity. He caii 
learn to keep an evil secret from mother; he can also learn to 
keep a sacred secret with mother. But what good, it may be 
asked, is accomplished by telling children in their youth con- 
cerning these mysteries of life which are continually unfold- 
ing before them? I have yet to learn of a case where a mother 
who simply, purely, delicately told her child these sacred truths 
has not foimd it the means of uniting the hearts of the mother 
and child as nothing else has ever done. . 

A child should be taught so plainly, so purely, so scientifi- 
cally, that he will know he is learning the great truths of nature, 
and then no room will be left for morbid curiosity. He should 
be taught so reverently that he will consider himself too sacred 
for evil thoughts or words. Most particularly I would have 
this instruction given before the age of puberty. That is an 
age when the child stands on the borderland between childhood 
and maturity, with the emotions of the mature person but with 
the limited judgment of the child. I would have this information 
given so early in life that, when the child reaches this period, 
when the inner forces are beginning to be felt, when the whole 
organization is in a condition of storm and revolution, there 
should not come upon him suddenly a new revelation, but, imder- 
standing himself, he would be ready to receive this new gift 
which relates him with the race. 



266 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

Mothers recognize this period of unrest in their girls — re- 
gard them with anxiety, perhaps place them in the care of a 
physician — ^but they do not recognize it in their boys. The 
boy from fourteen to eighteen years of age, beginning to feel 
tiie dawning of manhood, the true chivalrous spirit, which 
lightly directed will make him a noble son, a true brother, an 
honorable, good husband in the years to come — -in this period 
of life he should be the object of special care and sympathy. 

v^ v^ w* 

WHAT PARENTS SHOULD TEACH THEIR 

CHH^DREN* 

BY EDWARD W. BOK 

A NUMBER of parents have written to this magazine with 
regard to its discussion of a greater frankness with 
their children on the mystery of life, expressing a conviction that 
we are correct in our attitude, but also expressing here a doubt 
and there a fear as to its wisdom. A few of the questions asked 
us are here answered for the benefit of other parents who may 
find themselves in the same uncertainty of mind. 

Who Shall "Tell": the Mother or Father? 

" Which is best, to let the truth come to boy or girl from the 
mother, or for the father to tell the boy and the mother the girl?'' 

No ironclad rule can be laid down: everything depends 
upon circumstances. But, as a general rule, the mother is 
closer to the boy between the ages of six and ten, when he should 
be told, than is the father. The moments of close companion- 
ship come more frequently to the mother in the home than to 
the father at work, and those are the golden moments to take 
advantage of. Then, the average boy is closer to his mother: 
his relation with her seems to be of a quicker sympathy and an 

♦Used by permission : from the Editor *s Personal Page, "Ladies* Home Jour- 
nal "- for January, 1908. 



ADOLESCENCE— WHAT SHALL BE TAUGHT? 267 

easier understanding. The boy looks upon his father more with 
a feeling of awe or respect, sometimes even with fear. He is 
more apt to carry his troubles or confidences to his mother, and 
from such a source a talk is always more efifective. 

It is Better to be too Early Than too Late 

" What is the earliest age, would you say, that a child should 
be 'told'?'' 

This all depends upon the child aad his surroundings. But 
our investigations show that a child at six or seven is not too 
young for the first seeds of knowledge. It has been a constant 
source of amazement to us to find out the early age at which this 
question is discussed — and perverted — among children, and a 
parent's teachings should invariably precede information learned 
from outside sources. It is better to be too early than too 
late. 

The General Effect on a Young Boy 

*'So far as you know, what has been the effect on a young 
boy of telling him the truth straight from the shoulder?^' 

Personally, we have known of several scores of cases: from 
letters we have heard of scores more, and almost without ex- 
ception has the yoimg boy, told the truth, felt a new love and a 
higher reverence for his mother. The testimonies of mothers 
who have experienced this are manifold. 

A Common Topic with Children of Six or Seven 

''Do you mean to say that you know authoritative cases, in- 
stances that you can believe, where children at six or seven have 
been found 'to talk about this subject?'' 

Talk vrith any school-teacher or any woman connected with 
children's schools, and ask her, and we think you can get all 
the evidence you want that not only have there been instances 
where children have been found talking about this subject, 



268 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

but that, moreover, it is a common topic of talk. That is 
where the ignorance or unwillingness of parents to believe is so 
lamentable and criminal in the eyes of those who know. They 
have no idea of what is in the minds of their children. They 
like to believe that their "child" is what they call "innocent," 
and they labor imder this fatal delusion until some fearful 
revelation shocks them, as happened in the case of the Chicago 
school attended by the children of some of the "best" and so- 
called "careful" homes of the neighborhood. The revelations 
here disclosed were "shocking" to the parents, and mothers 
were "prostrated" when they heard of the doings of their 
" innocent lambs " I 

Is There a Danger in Physical Books? 

" Take a boy of sixteen: donH you think that to give him a 
book about his physical self might awaken evil thoughts as likely 
as it might prove a warning?'* 

In no respect. No boy or young man, it is safe to say, 
was ever led into immorality by reading a good book on its 
dangers. One might as well argue that he would drink more 
freely from a typhoid-infected water-supply when told of its 
dangers. The truth is never dangerous. 

When the Father Should Come In 

^^ If the mother tells a boy is he not apt to feel or think, ^She^s 
a woman: she doesn't understand us*? — which would, of course, 
not be the case where the word comes from the father,** 

That is sometimes true. Where the mother sees or feds 
that such an impression exists, then the father should come in 
and talk as one man to another. Of course, boys^ love to be 
talked to as men, as if they are regarded the equals of their 
fathers, and, put on that plane, they can sometimes be reached 
or appealed to where any other means fails. And, by the use 
of simple words and by dropping into the language of boys, the 
story can be very effectively told. 



ADOLESCENCE— WHAT SHALL BE TAUGHT? 269 



The Best Book for Parents 

*^WhcU one book, better than any other, would you say can 
help parents to tell, the story without fear of bungling} I do 
not mean a book to put into the hands of the boy or girl, but one 
intended for the parent. " 

We have been loath to recommend books on this subject, 
because, while it is perfectly safe to do so in individual cases, 
a general recommendation may be unwise. Yet there are a 
number of books on the subject that are excellent. Perhaps 
as a book for parents we would single out, as to our minds the 
best of them all, that called **The Renewal of Life," by Mar- 
garet Warner Morley, published a year or so ago by Messrs. 
A. C. McClurg and Company, of Chicago. Its price is $1.25. 
This book has the advantage of covering the subject in a sim- 
ple, natural, intelligent manner, making the story one of pro- 
gression rather than an inunediate and sudden unfolding of a 
mystery. It is, also, free of scientific expressions and is easily 
grasped. Then it gives a good list of other reliable books on 
the subject for those who want to go further or who want to 
put a book into the hands of a child. 

Where the Boy has No Father 

"/ confess I am afraid, but I would like sotne man to talk 
to my boy of ten. My husband is dead, and I am not quite sure 
of any man in our immediate family. Would you ask our 
minister? ^^ 

Ask your physician, if you are sure he is to be relied upon 
and is a man who believes rightly and has tact and judgment. 
There is no more dangerous man in the world to talk to a young 
boy on this subject than the wrong physician, since what he 
says naturally carries authoritative weight. But a good physi- 
cian, a man of upright principles, with a firm belief that every 
child should know himself, and who is capable of getting away 
from technical terms and telling the boy in a simple way, is 
an ideal person for you to enh'st in your service. 



270 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 



Does Telling Fix Children's Minds on the Topic? 

"J/ seems to he the conviction of some mothers I know that 
to talk to a young child on this subject of life is apt to fix the 
chiliTs mind upon it, and that he is likely to become morbid on 
the topic. This is not your view, I take it?^' 

It is not, and either the mothers you speak of have never 
told their children, or they have had unfortunate or exceptional 
experiences. It certainly has not so resulted with the children 
of parents we know who have told. With them exactly the 
reverse has been found. To know a fact is to be no longer 
curious about it. Is that not true? That is human nature, 
whether child or adult. If you leave a child nothing to be 
curious about why should he be curious? Satisfy a child's 
curiosity and you satisfy him. 

Can the Child Understand? 

"Jl/y boy of eight has begun to ask me questions , but I cannot 
convince myself that he would be able to understand if I did tell 
him the truth. Is my analysis wrong? ^^ 

It is, because it is safe to assume, as a general rule, that a 
child who is able to ask a question is able to understand an 
answer. This is not always true, of course, but, in the main, it 
holds good. Then, it is safer to tell the truth to the child, because 
in that case you have only one story to tell, and later there is 
nothing to deny. No one has ever been able to prove how 
much a child can really understand, but the weight of evidence 
leans toward the conviction that a child generally understands 
more than elders think he does. 

Not the Whole Story at Once 

" You certainly do not mean that you would tell a child the 
whole story, do you? The mother^s part, I can see, but how 
about the father^ s part? 



ADOLESCENCE— WHAT SHALL BE TAUGHT? 271 

Of course, we do not mean to tell a child the whole story, 
any more than you teach him the whole alphabet at once, or 
addition, subtraction, and multiplication all at the same time. 
The mother's part in the story should always come first: then; 
later, the father's part. 

Leaving a Child Ignorant of the Story 

"Do you hold it to be preferable to run the risk of a child^s 
misunderstanding what you may tell him than to allow him to 
remain ignorant of the story of life?^^ 

The child cannot remain ignorant. If he could the argu- 
ment might be in favor of the parents saying nothing. But 
where the parents fail to do their duty of enlightening the child 
he may be depended upon to learn it from others: nine chances 
to one, he will learn it in a dangerous manner. That is the 
cruel part of the present policy of silence: the silence is only 
on the part of the parents. 

The Age to Tell the Story 

"J agree with you as to the wisdom of telling the truth to 
children on this subject^ and am now preparing myself to talk 
to my son of seven. But the more I look at him and think of 
telling him, the less I can agree with you that at so early an age 
it is wise. On what do you ba^e your statement as to this age?^' 

We never fixed an age limit for the telling of this story to a 
child. That depends too much upon the child and his surround- 
ings. But psychologists have determined this fact about the 
receptiveness of a child in his training by parents: that the funda- 
mental princiides of all child-training must be laid and completed 
by the age of seven; that the basic work is, with the average child, 
finished then, and that all subsequent training is more or less 
a repetition of what has gone before. If that is true — ^and the 



272 THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

fact has never, to our knowledge, been disproved, but, on the 
contrary, verified scores of times — ^the greatest story of all that we 
can tell oiu: children should be told by the age of seven, as a 
general thing. Not all of it, of course, any more than the 
whole of history is told and taught in one school term. That 
would be absurd, and he would not understand it. But the 
beginning of the story should be told through the flowers, the 
animals, or whatever phase of life is handiest 

The Objection to the Stork Story 

"tVAa/ objection is there to holding to the 'stork^ theory, 
upon which so many of us have been brought up?'^ 

Because it is a lie which the child soon finds out. And the 
awakening of a child to a lie is fraught with danger. If a child 
gets it into his head that he learns things wrong from his parents 
and learns the truth from outside sources, the danger is ob- 
vious. Besides, the child is entitled to the truth. It is his 
right, and it is his greatest weapon of defense when he goes 
out into the world. Parents seem to fail to realize that a child 
has as much right to the speaking of the truth by the parents as 
they have to exact the truth from the child. 

The Oft-Repeated Question: How? 

^^ After reading all you have said on the question of telling 
the children, I do not yet get it through my mind which is the 
simplest, clearest, and safest way to tell the child. Will you 
answer this question directly? ^^ 

It cannot be answered directly, because ever3rthing depends 
upon the intelligence of the parent and the temperament of the 
child. One child, fond of nature, may be reached more surely 
through the lesson of the flowers; another, fond of animals, 
would realize the story best through the animal lesson; another, 
by the advent of another little one; and so it goes. This 



ADOLESCENCE— WHAT SHALL BE TAUGHT? 273 

magazine has been, in its different articles, as concrete as it is 
possible to be as to the ways and manner in which the story 
can be told. It has told of the various ways that are open and 
how other parents have told their children. But no single 
rule that is at all safe to go by can be laid down that will apply 
to all children. That must be decided by the parent who knows 
her child 



3nirex 



Adolescence— what shall be 

taught? 
Air, fresh 

Alcohol and the child 
Ambition 
Animal study 
Application . 

Art . . • 4»3i: 

Athletics and health 
Attention 



B 

Baby, naming the 

Behavior 

Boy and his den, the 

•'Breaking His Will" 

Bullying 



Character-building in edu 

cation 
Chart of child-training 

How to use 
Cheerfulness 
Child, fitting a 
Child, food of the growing 
Children, feeble-minded 

needs of . • . 
Children and guests 
Children's hour, a 
Child-training 

Chart of . . . 
Chivalry 
Citizenship, training for 



PAGE 

264 
119 

25 
27 
29 

32 

34 



210 

4 
222 

220 
219 



235 
6 



H» 35 » 136 
214 

120 

244 

218 

217 

I, 12 

6 

19*38 
186 



PAGB 
. 41 

154 

42 

. 44 

13*46 



Cleanliness . 

Commands, reasonable 

Contentment 

Conversation 

Courage 

Culture, see Home Study; 

Manners; Reading. 
Curiosity .... 

D 

Daughters, training our 
Deaf, how and when to teach 

speech to the 
Democratic spirit 
Den, the boy and his . 
Development and discipline 
Dietetics • • . * ^ 
Discipline, development and 117 
Discipline, justice necessary 

to 

Discipline, parental 
Distinctions , moral and social 
Dress, the child's . 
Duty, see Honor ; Honesty ; 

Loyalty. 



48 



241 

251 
20 

222 

117 

232 



153 

147 
21 

124 



Education, character • build- 
ing in .... 235 

Education, humane, in early 
training .... 246 

Emulation, see Imitation 
AND Emulation. 

Execution, precision in . 18 

Exercise .... 5 



275 



276 



Th& Mothers' Book 



*■ PAGE 

Feeble - minded children, 

needs of . . • • 244 

Fis:llt, shall your boy . . 207 
Firmness . 50* ^53 

Food of the growlns: child 120 

Friendship . ... 52 



Games .... 
Qenerosity . 
Gentleman, the 
Qirl of fifteen, the 
Qrowins: child, food of the 
Quests, children and . 

H 

Habits .... 

Handicraft, tne child and 

Health, care of 

Heroism 

Holidays, use and abuse 

Home, the child's 

Home, the homelike 

Home, pleasures at 

Home study . 

Honesty 

Honor .... 

Honor, official 

Honor, sense of personal 

Humor .... 



5 
54 

55 

193 
120 

218 



of 



57 
170 
117 

59 
212 

135 
188 

137 
60, 141 
62 
64 
20 

17 
66 



I 

Imagination .... 

Imitation .... 

Imitation and Emulation 

Impertinence, two sorts of . 

Independence 

Industry, see Application; 
Perseverance; Work. 

Investigation, see Curios- 
ity; Reading; Observa- 
tion. 



67 
12 

70 

199 

16 



PAGB 



153 



J 

Justice necessary to diaci- 
piine 

K 

Kindness . . . i4;72 
Knowledge, creeping into . 214 



Life, training a child for • 185 
Literature, importance of, to 

youth 259 

Loyalty . . • • 74 
Loyalty to ideals . . .21 

Loyalty to persons • • 17 

Loyalty to principle . • 19 

M 

Manliness, see The Gentle- 
man; Chivalry. 
Manners .... 75 
Memory -training . . 78 

Mischief . . .82 

Money, the child and . . 166 
Mother, wife and . . . 223 
Mother and sons, associa- 
tion of • . . . . 198 
Music • . • . 84, 174 

N 

Naming the baby .210 

Natural law, reproduction 

and 230 

Nature, the child and . . 182 
Nature -study . » • 85 
Noisy, may children be 



211 



o 

Obedience . . . 87f '5^ 
Observation and love of na- 
ture 89 

Order, training in , . 162 



Index 



277 



Parenthood, sympathetic 
Patience , 

Patriotism . 
Perseverance 
Physical start in life 

child's 
Play . . . 
Play and playmates 
Pleasures at home 
Pludc . 
Punctuality, training in 




Quietness, necessity of, for 
infants . • • • 117 



R 



Reading . . 4,98,143 

Reasonableness ... 13 

Refinement . . . • 17 

Reproduction and natural 

law 230 

Reserve, personal • • 16 

Respect .... 17 

Responsibility, civic . . 39 

Responsibility, sense of 16, 23 

Reverence .... 18 

Room, the child's . . 128 

Roosevelt, President,address 
by • • . • • 234 



School, the child's . • 139 

School, public vs. private . \\o 

School, shall the boy stay in 206 

School -work, help in . • 142 

Science 4 

Self-amusement ... 13 
Self-control . • • 100, 159 

Self-culture . • • • 24 



Self-direction 
Self-reliance, see Courage; 

Firmness; Honesty; 

Sense op Personal 

Honor. 
Self-training 
Sincerity 
Sleep, importance of, for in 

fants .... 
Society .... 
Speaking and its faults 
Speech, how and when to 

teach, to the deaf 
Story-telling 
Study, home 
Submission . 
Sunday, the child's 
Sympathy . 



FAGB 
12 



208 

H 

118 
102 

197 



351 
104 

60, 141 

12, 204 

. 178 

. Z07 



Temper, and how to meet it 203 
Tenacity of Purpose, see 
Perseverance; Firm- 
ness. 
Thinking, about • . . 109 
Thoroughness .112 

Training a child for life . 185 
Training the child's will . 220 
Training our daughters . 241 
Trustworthiness 16 

Truthfulness 15, 113, 156 



u 



Unselfishness 



15 



w 



wife and mother • • . 223 

Will, training the child's . 220 

Womanliness ... 19 

Work,household , for children 1 36 

Work, school, help in . . 142 



Home, School and Vacation 



By ANNIE WINSOR ALLEN 

HOUGHTON MIFFLIN COMPANY, Publishers 

BOSTON, MASS. 



A most excellent work for the use of parents and 
teachers in the training of their children^ both 
mentally and morally ^ from infancy to the age of 
eighteen. This inclusiveness is its main distinction. 

The following is its range according to division heads: 

Parent and Expert 

The Nature of Schooling 

A General Scheme of Education 

A Few Simple Facts 

Pedagogic Theories 

Home Teaching in Babyhood 

Good Reading 

Discipline 

Amusements 

Health 

A Table of Beginnings 



THE MOTHERS' BOOK 

^75 P^Z^^* Clothe $2.00 
Postagf, 12 cents additional 

The Mothers' Book Consists of Five Departments: 

First 

Suggestions in Child-Training 

Second 

Conduct and Character-Building 

Third 

Development and Discipline 

Fourth 

Wife and Mother 

Fifth 

Adolescence — What Shall Be Taught? 



A Complete, Practical and 
Helpful Book for Mothers 



Published by 

The University Society Inc. 

New York 



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